Still co-written by Fanpire298 and People-Are-Crazy

What do you guys own?

Jen: I own this… pen!

Maria: I own this imaginary kitty named Timmy!

Ayana: I own my… sister, but I'm willing to give her away for the low, low cost of $25

All of us: But we don't own twilight

A Series of Random Events

Chapter Two-She's Back!

Third-Person POV

Tess, the Esme lover, logged on fanfiction. She found herself in the chat section of The Two Sides of Twilight. Tess scrolled down and read all of the previous events. She realized that Ayana, Maria, and Jen were completely insane. She decided to be evilly nice.

"Hey! Guess what! My Haiku Poem made it into the top TWENTY in all of QUEENSLAND!!!!!! YAY!!! Unfortunately, I didn't win, but YAY!!!" she announced.

Jen moved about twenty feet away from the psycho killer. "Congratulations!" she cheered. Jen smiled stiffly.

Somewhere in Queensland, Australia, a girl smirked. It was Tess. "Why thank you Jen! Bet you wish YOU made it to the top twenty," she mocked.

Jen, who still stood far away, said, "I do. I really do."

"Of course you do, Jen, of course you do," Tess smiled.

Jen cleared her throat. "So you didn't... by any chance... notice who I took points from today...?" she asked. 'Don't hurt me!' she thought. However, she quickly changed the subject. "IT'S SNOWING! The kind of snow Bella would describe as 'Ew.' SNOW!" she hollered. Jen danced/ran from Tess.

Hannah threw Starlit a saw and grabbed a screwdriver. "Oh that topic screams spam even louder!" Everyone wondered what topic that was. It was probably the graveyard.

"I know!" Starlit replied. She caught the saw and attempted to keep Tess away from Hannah and Jen. I'm trying to fight my inner Jane! If I start becoming kind of violent it's because she's taken over! Twin!!!! Jen! Run while you still can! SAVE YOURSELVES!"

Jean started to run. "Come on Hannah! Run! Snow! Big fluffy tufts of happiness!" Jen certainly was random, to say the least.

Hannah laughed, "Snow and murder. What a great combination. I can't…go on…anymore," she breathed.

"Keep running Hannah!" Jen called. "Keep running!"

"Twin I have Embry!" Hannah threatened. "Don't even think about letting your inner Jane out!"

Starlit's face contorted. "I'm-trying-Running-keep-Tess-mad."

Suddenly, Tess appeared. "Give in Starlit! You know you want to. You want it bad. You wanna feel it take over your soul. YOU WANT TO KILL!!!!!!" She laughed manically, chasing after Hannah and Jen, not caring about Starlit seeing as she's going to give in, wielding one of her unimaginable torture weapons. "Come HERE little kittens!! I WONT HURT YOU! Here little kitty, kitties. Come here my prettiessssssss, I wanna SEE your crimson blood stain the white, pure snow. I want you to FEEL your life slipping away! I WANT YOU TO FEEL PAIN! And I want to SEE the LIFE FADE from your EYES!!!!!!!!!"

Starlit heard Tess threatening her twin. "I-WILL-NOT-GIVE-IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! TWIN I'LL SAVE YOU!" That's persistence! She grabbed a hammer and another saw.

Jen was, of course, scared and upset. "STARLIT??? WHAT ABOUT ME????? I'm not going to kill Embry. Just don't let her kill me!"

Starlit threw Jen a hammer and winced at the bang it made. "You're supposed to catch it! I'll try and protect you to the best of my ability, but twin is my priority. Family you know? I'll try my best to save you!!!!" Starlit looked apologetically at Jen.

Tess stared into Starlit's eyes from afar. "Give in Starlit. The world will be your playground. You will not have to listen to ANYONE. You can kill who you want to, WHEN YOU WANT TO. Just give in Jane. You want to see blood don't you? Yes, you do. I can SEE IT IN YOUR EYES!!!!!! NOW GET ME MY KITTENS!!!!!! I WISH TO KILL THEM PAINFULLY!!!!!!"

Jen bled out a little. "Um... Starlit...I think you might've... BROKEN MY HAND WITH THE STUPID HAMMER!" She was one pissed off girl.

"Lakes of blood....The world, your playground. Blood......" Tess chanted.

"I won't give in! I am not weak!" Starlit yelled. But, then, she whispered, "Jen a little help making Jane stay in please?"

"T-T-Tess, you're scaring me...." Jen looked close to ears.

Maria POV

And that's where I popped in!

"Let me get this straight," I said, "We're running from Tess...in the snow...with deadly weapons?"

"Yep!" Starlit exclaimed. "Do you want a screwdriver, a saw or a hammer?"

"I'd rather steal back the lightsaber I had yesterday. Ha ha. Good times, right, Jen?" I replied.

Starlit squeaked and grabbed Darth's lightsaber out of nowhere. She threw it to me. It looked like she focused on Jane climbing into a box in her mind. I could see it, too.

I stood perfectly still, though. "I added points to Esme. I'm safe. BUT, if any Team Jacob people show up, I'm pretty much dead," I stated calmly.

Jen forgot to keep running. "Good times...Oops!" She started to run again.

"OOOOHHHHH KITTIES!!! YOU HAVE A NEW KITTY I SEE!! KITTIES! COME HERE! I WANNA SEE THE EXACT SHADE OF RED YOUR BLOOD IS! AND I WANNA SEE YOUR LIVER! Blood.....The world; your playground......Queen.........Killing........Ripping.....Tearing......Blood........." I really started to believe that Tess is masochistic.

"Tess..................YOU'RE VIOLENT!" Jen yelled.

"My dear sweet kittens....Sadly, it is 2:20am in Australia, and even psycho killers need sleep. I shall be back in seven to eight hours so this killing came continue," she smirked evilly. "Good night my kittens, I SHALL see what color your blood is, and I shall see your LUNGS!!!!!" Awk-ward!

Starlit, who was running like a madwoman, said, "Keep running, Jen! She will not get to me!"

Jen hid under a desk. "Okay, I just have to hide here for the rest of my life..."

Starlit stopped running and dropped her face to the ground. "Jfen. Shfe's Gofone." It's the safe incident all over again!

Jen crawled out from under the desk. "Yes!" And she did a happy dance. "And it's still snowing. It's pouring snow!"

"Sftop Bfoastin andf helf mef ufp pleafse. If Jufst spenft af whifle savifng youfr life." Whatever Starlit just said was probably a death threat.

Jen helped Starlit up. "Sorry. Hey, where'd Maria go? MARIA?? MARIA???"

The fact of the matter was that I was half on and half off. I was writing the very page you are reading right now. Yes, I, Maria. Then I send it to Ayana, who sends it to Jen. It's a process that works well.

Starlit dusted some fake snow off of herself. "Maybe she kept running even though Tess wasn't after her?" As you, the reader, know, I was writing this.

"Maybe," Jen said. "So…how's life?"

Join the twilight forum, The Two Sides Of Twilight (don'tcallmeLeeLee), so that you can join all of us in our masochistic fun!