So I'm updating this morning because I'll being going to see The Princess and the Frog tonight. Woo hoo! So excited! I've got a feeling I'm going to absolutely adore Prince Naveen. Move over Aladdin, I think I've got a new favorite prince worming his way into my heart! Ha ha! He's so wonderful looking, and that accent. FINALLY a Disney hero with an accent! Mmm… (And no, we're not counting Jake from the Rescuers Down Under. Bernard was there hero there, not Jake!)

Ok so blah blah. THIS CHAPTER. Man, things start to take a dramatic turn in this chapter. Whether or not it is a slight deviation or a long term stray down a separate path, I won't say. It's just something you'll have to find out for yourself. This particular day in time is October 29, 1980, which was a Wednesday if you must know. Go ahead, don't take my word for it. Look it up yourself on your computer's date and time. I'll wait.

Anyway, if any of you have ever wondered what my exact inspiration for this fic was, (and no, it wasn't the Misfits) now is your time to find out!

Its totally lame, maybe, but that's just how things roll with me. So, one of my all time favorite songs is "Only the Good Die Young" by Billy Joel. I LOVE that song and it was in a major way an inspiration for this story (kinda obviously if you listen to the lyrics) and so later when a reference to that song is made, don't be too shocked or go "OH MAI GAWD THAT'S LAME" cause yes, it is lame. But so what? It inspired this story which you all seem to enjoy so don't go raggin on me now. I really suggest you look it up on you tube or something or at least read the lyrics. You'll at least giggle a bit and be like "Oh yeah, that's TOTALLY them." Lol. Axel has a lot of guilty pleasures. Billy Joel is one of them.

Enjoy this chapter!

"Marluxia was a young man, described by his friends, as a very lovable, true friend and very full of life. He was always happy and never let life's turns for the worse bring him down. He lived his life to the fullest and made every day count. He loved Larxene, whom we are also laying to rest this day. She was a young woman of great promise, a young woman I had known since her childhood. She was known to never hold back from the truth, and while that often got her into trouble, I viewed it as her most endearing quality. You sit before me now, many of you weeping. I see the faces of those who loved these teens. Faces of family, faces of friends. Weep not for these children, for they are in the arms of God. Let us say The Lord's Prayer as we lower these children into the earth." Xigbar picked up the leather-bound bible from the podium at which he stood and made the sign of the cross. "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen." As the crowd before him echoed in "Amen," Xigbar stepped down from the podium and between the two caskets as they were lowered into the ground. He made the sign of the cross over each of them and sighed. "Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return."

Roxas sat watching the priest quietly. Though he was at the burial of his two very close friends he could not cry. It bothered him because he knew he should be crying. This was a tragic event, yet all he could do was sit and stare. He hadn't even cried at the funerals. He sat watching the coffins as they were lowered into the ground and he sat long after people began to disperse but still he felt… "Nothing."

Demyx looked to his cousin. "Wh-what?"

"I feel nothing." Roxas stared ahead at the two holes in the ground and furrowed his brow. "I mean, I feel that they're gone. I know I'll never see them again and yet I can't cry. I can't feel anything."

"Maybe you're just not one of the type that grieves." Demyx grabbed his cousin's hand and gripped it tightly. "Larxene's dad didn't cry, but inside I know he's in pieces."

"That's just it though." Roxas looked to his cousin. "Inside I feel no different than if they were still alive. Have I become too hard?"

Demyx sighed and gripped Roxas' hand tighter. "I don't think that's…"

"How could you know?" Roxas looked back at the priest in thought. "When I first came here, I would have cried to see a cat run over in the street. Now look at me. I'm hurting others, physically, and sometimes with my words. I could care less about other people's problems. I only worry about myself. I've become everything the devil feeds off of."

Demyx shook his head. "Rox, the devil doesn't exist."

"Doesn't he?" Roxas stood slowly and motioned to the surrounding area. "Look around you Dem! Look at this earth littered in corpses of sinners. People that died long before their time, people like Marluxia and Larxene! Do you think this is all of what God intended when he created this earth? For people to rape and murder and fight and do all the horrible things that people do to each other on a daily basis?"

Demyx stood and crossed his arms. "I don't believe that its good but I'm not going to shift blame on some imaginary being like the devil!"

"No Demyx. The blame falls on us! Humans who were given this gift! The gift of the earth and of life and what do we do with it? We destroy our earth with pollution and we waste our lives on booze, sex and drugs! We never stop to think about what we're doing with our lives! And then when we die we go to heaven or hell based on our life." Roxas pointed to Larxene and Marluxia's coffins in fury. "Do you think those two will be in heaven!? Larxene may have been baptized and raised Catholic but if she wasn't practicing then it does no good! She's going to go to hell right along side Marluxia."

Demyx reached out and slapped Roxas hard across the face. "This is hell you idiot! Don't you get it!? There's no such place as heaven and hell! The real heaven and hell are what you make out of your life! Its not a place, it's a fucking state of mind. Now quit acting like this and let's just go home. I don't want to be here anymore."

Roxas shook his head and started off in the direction that the priest had left to. "I'm not going. I'm going to talk to that priest and I'm going to do something that is long overdue!"

Demyx huffed and watched his cousin retreat. "And what the hell would that be!?"

Roxas stared straight ahead as he watched the priest cross the street and walk into the church. "I'm going to confession!" He picked up his pace and hurried over to the church. Once inside he dipped his fingertips in the holy water and made the sign of the cross before continuing in. His eyes fell on the priest and he stepped quickly toward him. "Excuse me, father?"

Xigbar looked up to see a blond haired boy approaching him. He smiled softly, recognizing him from the funeral. "You were at the funeral."

Roxas nodded quickly. "Yes father." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "My name is Roxas I was a friend of Larxene's. Well, and Marluxia's too. We were pretty good friends."

Xigbar nodded slowly. "I see. Did you come to talk to me about them?"

"Well, sort of." Roxas fidgeted with his hands and sighed. "You mentioned knowing Larxene since she was a kid. I knew she was baptized Catholic but I didn't know how long she had been practicing for."

Xigbar smiled softly. "Let's sit down and we can talk." He started over to the pew and knelt as he made the sign of the cross before entering. He watched the boy do the same with interest. "You are Catholic?"

Roxas nodded and took a seat beside the priest. "Yes father."

"I see." Xigbar nodded before taking in a deep breath. "So, you wanted to know how long Larxene had been a practicing Catholic. Well, she was very devout up until about the age of fifteen. She had received her first communion and everything. And then she met that boy, Marluxia. She tried bringing him to mass with her every once in a while, but after a while he stopped coming, and so did she."

Roxas nodded slowly. "Yeah, I figured it had to do with falling in love."

Xigbar cocked an eyebrow at Roxas curiously. "Falling in love?"

"When you fall in love with someone you become so willing to do anything for them that you'll forsake everything." Roxas scowled at the floor and clenched his fists. "Even your religion."

"Ah, I see." Xigbar smiled. "You are looking down on love. Love is not a bad thing. You can love whoever you want as long as your love for God is greater."

"But what if it isn't?" Roxas looked to Xigbar before looking back down at the floor. "Or what if it is, but you're so blinded by your love for someone that you don't realize it?"

Xigbar let out a slow sigh and stood. "I'll tell you what. Why don't you come to Mass from now on and rejoin in what you've been missing. There's someone I want you to meet. Come this Sunday. Alright?"

Roxas nodded slowly. "Alright. And I can do a confession then?"

"Of course." Xigbar started out of the pew and nodded to Roxas. "I have another burial service that I need to get to. I look forward to seeing you on Sunday."

Roxas waved to Xigbar as the man left his sight and then started out of the church. He walked to the bus stop that he knew would get him back home and boarded. The whole ride home he sat in thought. What if he had made a mistake embracing this life of punk rock and sin? What if it was already too late? What if Larxene and Marluxia's deaths could have been prevented if only they had been more churchgoing and holy? What could he do about it now? He exited the bus about a block from the apartment and watched the sky as he walked the rest of the way home. When he reached the apartment he noticed a note on the door. It was from Saïx. He picked it off and read it aloud. "Roxas, went to the store. Out of milk. Don't lock the door asshole." Roxas crumpled the paper in his hand and turned the knob to step into the house. He began loosening his tie when he spotted something out of the corner of his eye. The bedroom door was open. It was never open. He started down the hall curiously and peered into the room, shocked to find Axel sitting on the edge of the bed flipping through an old photo album. "What are you doing here?"

Axel was startled to hear Roxas' voice. He quickly wiped away the tears that were on his face and forced a smile. "Hey, I didn't hear you come in. I hope its ok that I'm here."

Roxas shrugged and pulled off his jacket. "It's your apartment. You can do what you want."

Axel sighed and turned his attention back to the album of old polaroids. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to look at these old pictures of Marly and Lar." He thumbed over one that had a speck of dust covering Larxene's face. "I can't believe they're gone. Just like that. Its only been three days but it feels like a lifetime has passed."

Roxas stood staring down at Axel. "That's why we aren't meant to take life for granted. Life's too short to screw it up."

"I know." Axel sat the photos aside and stood. "And I wanna to talk to you about that. I've messed up Roxas. Bad. And I hate that it took me this long to realize it. But when I saw you in the back of that car and I thought you were dead… I lost myself. I realized just how much you meant to me in that instant. And I know it shouldn't have took that for me to realize how much I love you but it did. I realized that I shouldn't have been so quick to jump back to Luxord. You being upset was understandable and I shouldn't have expected any more from you than for you to get really angry. You've been great to me from the start Rox and it shouldn't have mattered how much Luxord changed or how much he used to mean to me. That part of my life was over and I should have stayed right here with you!" Axel reached out and put a hand to Roxas' cheek. "I love you Roxas, and if you'll have me back, then I…"

"No!" Roxas pulled away from Axel and scowled at him. "Are you insane!? I'm not stupid! Luxord must have done something to warrant this. You wouldn't just be back here all of the sudden. What did he do Axel? Fuck somebody else? Or did he just decide you weren't worth the dead weight anymore?"

"No, it's not that at all!" Axel grabbed Roxas' hand and held it tightly. "I haven't even talked to Luxord about this yet. But I will. I'll explain that I no longer want him a part of my life. After what happened, I'm sure he'll understand."

Roxas tugged his hand from Axel's and stepped away from him. "It's too late. I've already decided to go back to the life I had before I came here and met you all."

Axel's face fell and he stared at Roxas feeling helpless. "Y-you're going back to Oregon?"

"No. I'm staying in L.A. Or maybe I'll move up to Oakland. I haven't decided yet. I'm going to reapply to those colleges I was supposed to visit and hopefully they'll take me for the next semester. Meanwhile, I'm going back to church and getting my priorities back in order." Roxas undid his tie and began hanging up his good suit. "I guess I'll move back in with my aunt until I can afford a place of my own."

"Roxas, why?" Axel gripped the boy's shoulders and turned him to meet his gaze. "Why all of this? Why all the sudden?"

Roxas frowned at Axel and crossed his arms. "You were the one who thought this was a good idea. What was it you said to me that night? Go to college, go back to church, reconnect with my family and simplify my life, right? So I could be happy." Roxas turned away from Axel slowly. "I'm just taking your advice."

"You said that night that you were happy when you were with me!" Axel grabbed Roxas' shoulders again and spun him back around. "I know I fucked up Roxas. I know I fucked up bad and I can never make up for it but I want to try and at least fix it."

"Its more than just you Axel." Roxas let his fingers fall to the buttons on his shirt and began unfastening them. "Today at the funerals and later at the burial I felt nothing. I realized that you people are the ones that did this to me. You and Demyx and even Marluxia and Larxene. You've made me this cold, callous jerk that stopped feeling anything! I hate how I've become. I shouldn't be like this. And I wasn't like this until just after that party. After we woke up after having sex and you turned me away again, and I was so hurt that when I climbed into the car with the others and they asked me how things went I just snapped! I told Marluxia to shut up and drive and when Zexion asked how I liked the high I told him to fuck off. They were just trying to help me and at that point I didn't care if I ever saw your stupid face again! And when Marluxia started driving fast I didn't care! Hell, I was even thinking how great it would be for him to just crash the car and I would die! And then when he stuck his head and hands out the window and Larxene grabbed the wheel to steady it, she slipped, and I thought in that split second "This is it." and I wasn't even sad about it. The only moment I was sad that night is when I realized they were the ones that got hurt. Not me, the only one who wanted to be."

"Roxas." Axel looked to the blond sadly and shook his head. "I didn't mean to make you feel like that."

Roxas finished unbuttoning his shirt and pulled it off to place on a hanger next to his jacket. "Well it happened all the same, didn't it? And now that they're dead I realized, they're not going to heaven! They lived their lives in sin and now they'll be in hell with all the other sinners."

Axel smiled softly. "Wouldn't you rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, Rox?"

Roxas scowled and crossed his arms. "Are you really going to quote that stupid Billy Joel song at a time like this?"

"Ah come on." Axel grabbed Roxas' hand and pulled him close. "You know that song is as close to our story as any song will ever get."

"We don't have a story Axel!" Roxas pulled away from the redhead and growled. "We're just two people who happened to meet and now that's over and I'm going back to the life I once knew."

"W-well, what if I joined you?" Axel clasped Roxas' hand again and knelt on the ground before him. "What if I go to church with you? I can handle that! I'll get some nice clothes and I'll go with you every weekend except for when I have to work. And I'll drop everything for you. No more drinking, I'll never touch drugs again. And…"

"Sex?" Roxas cocked an eyebrow at Axel with a slight smirk on his face. "I'm just supposed to believe you'll give up sex?"

Axel grit his teeth and sighed. "Y-yeah, I can give it up if that's what you want."

"And what about getting baptized? And confession?" Roxas looked down at Axel in interest, wondering just how far the other man was willing to go to be back in his good graces.

"I'll do it all. I love you Roxas, don't you get that?" Axel stood slowly and pulled Roxas against him. "I love you. I want you to be happy and I want to be a part of your life again. Even if its just as a friend."

Roxas sighed heavily and shook his head. "Until you decide its too much hassle and give up."

"No. I'm in it for the long haul." Axel nudged Roxas and smiled playfully. "So, absolutely no sex? At all?"