So I'll post this chapter this morning instead of waiting for tomorrow. It makes my day at work go by quicker if I'm looking forward to reviews during the day instead of on the weekend.

Uhg, you guys. I've been watching so much Slayers lately. I recently just finished Revolution and Evolution-R and then decided that I needed to actually re-watch it all from the beginning to the end so I got Seasons 1-3 out and have been watching a disc a day since. I'm on the last disc of Next today and will be re-watching Try this weekend (which was my favorite season up until Evolution-R) MAN, I can't believe I forgot how much I LOVE this series! So don't be too surprised if there are a few Slayers one shots popping up now and again. I've been fighting it but the temptation is soooooo strong. Especially because Xellos is just too wonderful.

Anyway, back to this story. In case you couldn't tell, it is nearing the end. And I'm actually happy about it. I feel like it dragged on too long.

This chapter is a decent one. I like a lot of the things Axel is saying in it. It makes sense in a weird, warped little way.

Please enjoy!

"Where are we going?" Roxas asked breathlessly as Axel tugged him out of their apartment. He let his lover lead him excitedly to the parked motorcycle but curiosity still struck him. "Come on, you know I hate surprises."

"I'm still not telling." Axel said humming before pulling Roxas onto the bike with him. As soon as they were both seated he started the bike and revved the engine, pulling away from the apartment and down the street.

Roxas pressed his face to Axel's back and held on tightly. He hated surprises, he really did. There was something about not knowing that gave him an anxiety. But soon after they were on the road he knew just exactly where he was being taken. It had been three full years since he had gone there, the last time being with Axel when he was trying to feel sorrow for Larxene and Marluxia. And for the life of him, Roxas couldn't understand why Axel was taking him back to Santa Monica. After the death of their friends, it was kind of understood that nobody would return there again. Yet here they were, headed to the spot where they'd spent such good times that distant summer. When they arrived, Roxas climbed off the bike slowly and looked to Axel. "So, why are we here?"

"Roxas! Axel!" Naminé waved excitedly at the two from her perch on the beach. "About damn time you got here!"

Roxas whipped around at the sound of the female voice. For a moment he thought he'd heard Larxene yelling, but he knew it was impossible. His eyes fell on Naminé and a sad smile crossed his face. "H-hey Nam!" He turned his gaze back to Axel and tilted his head to the side. "Naminé and Saïx are here?"

Axel grinned as Zexion pulled up right beside them in a black Volvo. "And the others too."

Demyx stepped out from the back of the sleek black car and smiled. "Hey cuz, long time no see." He ruffled his cousin's hair and chuckled. "Still short as ever I see."

"Dem!" Roxas smiled as his eyes flew from his cousin to Lexaeus and Zexion. "Lex! Zex! What are you guys doing here?"

Zexion shrugged as he locked his car. "No idea. Demyx called us and said Axel wanted us to be here." He turned his gaze from Roxas to the redhead behind him. "So, why are we here?"

"Because, there are some things that don't have to change just because other things do." Axel smiled and motioned to the sand. "Come on, let's go sit."

Roxas nodded and followed Axel to the spot where Naminé and Saïx were already sitting. He plopped down and watched the others form a circle, but none of them sat where they would have sat over three years ago. He looked to Axel curiously as the redhead sat down, not beside him, but across from him. He furrowed his brow and opened his mouth to speak but Axel beat him to it.

"You're probably all really curious about why we're here. I know for some of you, even thinking about coming back to this place was hard. So for even being here, I want to thank you. But I felt this was the right place to tell you what it is I need to tell you. But before I do that, there is more I want to say." Axel looked to the four that used to frequent this beach with him. "We used to spend so much time here together. We'd act like jackasses and run around wild and drink till we thought we'd puke and sometimes go up on the pier and ride the rides so that we could puke. We had some of the best times in our lives here in this sand, just being alive. There was no work or parents or school that we had to worry about. It was just us, here. And when Marly and Lar died we just stopped coming. Why? Did we think it would be disrespectful to come here now that they're gone? Would we have stopped coming if they'd only moved away? Hell no we wouldn't have! And being here isn't disrespectful to them just because they're dead! This is a place where we had so many good times with them. Why should we stop coming!?"

Roxas looked from Axel as the man paused to obviously fight down a lump growing in his throat. His eyes fell on Demyx, Zexion and Lexaeus who all stared down at the sand sadly. Axel inhaled and this brought Roxas back to his attention.

"When we came here and we sat in this sand, none of you dared sit in your normal spots. Why? Why does that have to change? It shouldn't! Zexion, you didn't even bring a book and I know damn well you still like to read. Lex, you didn't bring your brain teaser puzzles. And Demyx, where's your notepad and pen!? When I went to the apartment today I saw it sitting on the table so I know you still write lyrics!" Axel sighed and shook his head. "Mar and Lar died and that was something that changed. But just because that changed, why should this have to? Sure, we can be sad and mourn them and sure, it can be hard for a while. But it won't always be like that and eventually we have to be happy again and giving this place up is not going to change how we felt about them. It isn't going to somehow make their deaths any less horrific or sad. We still all miss them, so why give up something that we shared with them?" Axel stared at the others, none of them making eye contact except for Roxas. He forced a smile at his lover before taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Anybody have anything to add?"

Roxas nodded slowly. "Yeah. I think you're right. I didn't spend as much time here with them as you guys did but what time I did spend, it was the best time of my life. And I think that giving that up is more disrespectful than anything. They wouldn't quit coming here if we died. Marluxia would have just brought enough alcohol for those who weren't here and drank twice as much in our honor." Roxas laughed softly and shook his head. "And Larxene wouldn't stop coming here. She'd say that she wouldn't let us ruin her fun and then she'd just sit around acting like she never liked us and smoke on her cigarette."

Demyx chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, she would have."

Roxas smiled. "You're right Axel. Coming here is a better way to remember them than just sitting around feeling sad. There were so many good times spent here and nothing will change that. So we shouldn't give that up. Right?" He looked to the others and they nodded slowly. "I guess that this right here is the closest we'll ever get to having them back. And we shouldn't lose that."

Axel smiled softly. "I'm glad you see it that way. Most of the time my thought process is lost on people and I just come off as an insensitive jerk."

Roxas shrugged. "I get it though. We've all known you long enough to at least get where you're coming from."

Axel nodded before closing is eyes and exhaling a long breath. "Well that brings us to the main reason that I gathered you all here." His gaze fell over everyone in the group now. "I brought you all here to tell you something important. It is something that is going to change, but I don't want it to change this. Promise me before I tell you that it won't change this."

Roxas nodded. "I promise."

Zexion cocked a curious brow before nodding also. "I promise."

Lexaeus nodded. "Me too."

Demyx sighed sadly. He knew where this was going and he hated it. But Axel was asking this of all of them and he couldn't say no. "Yeah, I promise."

Naminé nodded. "Me too."

Saïx looked to his brother with concern. "Ok, whatever. We promise! Just tell us already!"

Axel watched the others for a moment, their curiosity all peaked. He forced a smile and sighed. "Some of you know I went to the doctor the other day after that episode I had at the Misfits show. I needed to find out why I was coughing up blood. Roxas and Saïx, I told you I had Pneumonia and that's true. But there is more that I didn't tell you. Rox, this is the reason I've been so distant the past couple of days." He turned his eyes onto his lover and smiled sadly. "I also have Tuberculosis. Now, normally that wouldn't be a big deal since there is a way to treat it now. But there's more to it than that. I have something called AIDS. Not too long ago it was better known as the Gay Related Immune Deficiency syndrome. But more and more people who aren't gay are getting it. I have it, and it is devastating my immune system."

Roxas blinked at Axel in shock. "Wh-what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner Roxas. I just wanted the time we have together to be happy and special." Axel looked to his lover with sad eyes. "I'm dying. I have no way of fighting off either the Tuberculosis or the Pneumonia. One or the other will take my life very soon. And that is why I've tried to keep my distance from you. From what I've learned about AIDS in the past couple of days, I'm almost sure that you have it too. You're not sick yet but you could get sick very easily and I don't want you to get sick and die all because of me."

Roxas stared forward at Axel, so many emotions welling up inside of him. Anger, sorrow, fear and hurt were the main things flooding him. He growled as tears rushed to his cheeks and slammed his fist down in the sand. "Wh-why didn't you tell me Axel!?"

Axel looked away from Roxas sadly. "I just wanted you to be happy while you could. I thought that…"

"You thought what!? That you could protect me forever!?" Roxas stood quickly and clenched his fists as he glared at Axel. "You've known for three days now and you've just acted like nothing is wrong! You're dying and you couldn't even tell me!? You're supposed to be able to tell me everything!"

"Roxas!" Demyx reached up and grabbed his cousin's arm. "Axel had your best interest at heart! It isn't like he meant to hurt you or wanted to keep you in the dark. He just thought you'd be happier that way. And really, wouldn't you be?"

Roxas tore his arm from Demyx's grasp and scowled. "Well, yeah! But that doesn't give him the right to just play stupid games!"

"This isn't a game Rox!" Demyx jumped to his feet and stared hard at his cousin. "You're acting like a spoiled fucking brat! I know that he shouldn't have kept it from you but its not like he was trying to be malicious about it!"

"Easy for you to say! You're not the one with the devastating illness! I am!" Roxas turned his gaze from Demyx to Axel. "You…"

Axel looked to Roxas guiltily. "I'm sorry Rox."

"How could you do this!? Axel, I trusted you! I believed in you and I always thought of all people, you would never lie to me!" Roxas blinked away his tears and motioned to the group. "And even now you don't have the courtesy to tell me one on one! You have to involve the others too!?"

"Roxas, I just wanted everyone to know. And I thought that if we were all together that we could console each other better. I'm sorry. You should have been the first one I told and I shouldn't have tried to keep is a secret. I'm sorry. I just wanted to you be happy while you could be." Axel sighed sadly. "Please sit down. We have a lot more to discuss."

Roxas glared at Axel through his tears before finally dropping back down to the ground. "Say what you need to say."

Axel let out a heavy sigh before turning his eyes on the others. "I wanted to tell you all together, because you guys are my fucking world. You're the only friends I've got. The only friends I need. And whether some of you will admit it or not, you all feel that way about each other too. These past few years we've let Mar and Lar's deaths tear us apart. Dem, you've been my best friend for over ten years now, and I don't even see you! Zex, I didn't even know you got a car! And Lex, you've got a job now, right? What do you even do? I don't know! And I should!" He paused to look at the three as they stared back at him. "I thought maybe if Mar and Lar dying tore us all apart, then maybe me dying would bring us all back together again and keep us together. You all want to act like a bunch of hard asses but when it comes right down to it you all need each other! So can't we let this make us closer instead of being sad about it? Shit, you guys, the time I've spent with all of you has been the happiest of my life. Sure, a lot of unhappy shit happened in the middle. That's what life is about! But as long as I have the happy stuff to think back on then I don't feel like it was all for nothing. And I'm not going to say I don't want you to cry or be sad when I'm gone because you can bet your ass I do. I want you to miss me and I want it to hurt because that's good for you and it only means I meant that much to you all and that isn't a bad thing! But when you need to think back on me, you all get together and you do it here and god damn it, you'll be fucking happy about it too or so help me, I'll come back and haunt every single one of you sons of bitches until you do!"

Demyx managed a small chuckle, but it was quickly swallowed by the sob that followed it. "G-god damn it Axel! Don't be so fucking ridiculous at a time like this!"

Axel's eyes flew to Demyx who sat in tears. He then looked to the others, Naminé practically bawling and Saïx doing all in his power to fight it back. Roxas was stone faced, but he looked ready to cry again out of either fury or sorrow. "Don't you dare cry right now! Now isn't the time for being sad! Now is the time for just being grateful for what time we do have left together! I'm not dead yet and I'm not scared of dying either. What scares me is thinking about what is going to happen to you all when I die. But as long as I know that you guys will all have each other then I have nothing to worry about. You'll all be here for each other right? You promised!"

"Damn you Axel! Damn you to hell!" Roxas glared at his lover. "How can you be so calm and so cool!? You're dying! You're going to leave me alone in this fucking world! I don't want that! None of what you're trying to impose on us is your choice to make! Maybe I want to get sick and die too. Maybe I don't want to stay well and have to watch you suffer and then spend the rest of my life trying to keep myself healthy! And maybe none of us want to stay friends after you die because what would be the point!? So we can sit around like a bunch of jack offs and feel sorry for one another!?"

"Isn't it better than feeling sorry for yourself!?" Naminé looked to Roxas with a firm scowl on her face. "You're acting like a fucking child Roxas! Grow up! This is the real world and it fucking hurts but we do what we can with what we've got! In case you forgot, you could die just as easily as Axel, so instead of being Captain of the S.S. Pissy Pants why don't you just try and make the best of what you've got!" She huffed loudly and crossed her arms. "Personally I like the idea of everyone being here for each other. We can't change what is happening now so let's just deal with it as it comes. We all made a promise just a few minutes ago, damn it let's fucking keep it!"

Axel smiled at the blonde girl. "Thank you Nam." He turned his eyes back to Roxas and shook his head. "Rox, I know you have so much potential. So just giving up and acting like the world won't go on without me is ridiculous. Even suggesting that you might get sick and die too, just because you don't want to have to fight to live…" Axel growled and kicked the sand. "That's just fucking stupidity Roxas! Shit like that is for quitters. Are you a fucking quitter?"

Roxas crossed his arms. "You know I'm not."

"Then knock of this dumb ass attitude of yours! I'm sorry I hurt you, alright? That was the opposite of my intentions. But acting like this now is getting us nowhere." Axel forced a smile and leaned forward to rest his arms on his knees. "Don't you agree?"

"Y-yeah." Roxas bit his bottom lip as it started to quiver. He could feel tears building up in his eyes yet again. "It's just… I hate the thought of spending the rest of this time so distant from you! When I said I didn't care if I got sick and died, I meant it Axel! As long as I can be with you, nothing else matters." Roxas lurched forward across the sand and wrapped his arms around Axel's waist. He didn't even bother trying to fight it back and he didn't care if the others saw him in this moment of weakness. None of his stupid pride mattered right now. But instead of the snickers or scoffs that he would normally expect to receive from his friends any time he displayed emotion, he felt bodies against him. He peeked up to see Naminé at first clinging to both him and Axel, and then he saw Saïx hugging onto his brother tightly. Demyx was quick to follow and even Zexion, a man Roxas had not seen a sliver of emotion from even once, was now pulling himself into this strange form of hug that they had. Lexaeus only placed his massive hands where he could, but Roxas was certain that the giant would scoop them all up in his arms if their positioning wasn't so awkward. He let himself cry into Axel's lap, unsure of how long they would stay like that. Minutes passed by like hours and finally Roxas let himself fall asleep that way. He hoped that when he next awoke, this would all be just a bad dream.