Disclaimer – Guess what? These characters aren't mine. Neither is the storyline… original, eh?

Angels on the Moon

ISLE ESME

"Houston?" Bella questioned, raising her eyebrows as we reached the gate.

"Just a stop along the way," I grinned, enjoying my secret.

The plane had barely even taken off, and Bella was asleep. The ride seemed short with her head on my shoulder; her soft hair cascading onto my chest. She blinked groggily as I woke her up, pulling her onto the next plane.

"Rio de Janeiro?" she asked again, curious.

"Another stop," I muttered.

The flight again passed quickly, and before long, we were out of the plane and into a taxi, slowly driving towards the docks. I slipped my hand around hers, smiling as we drove along and her head slowly drooped again. I half-carried her out of the taxi, gently placing her on the ground so I could pay the driver and grab our luggage.

We reached the boat, and the speed was luxurious. It was nothing like running, of course, but the adrenaline rush was undeniable. I steered the boat with certainty, knowing exactly where to go without having to think twice.

"Are we going much farther?" Bella questioned uncomfortably, interrupting my carefree thoughts.

I turned to look at her, her eyes staring into mine with curiosity and her fists clenched tightly against the seat. "About another half hour," I laughed.

I turned my head back to the water, and before long, I could see the island coming into view.

"Bella, look there." I focused my eyes on her and studied her reactions as I pointed towards the island. First, confusion… her eyes couldn't see that far. And then some curiosity that had been haunting her eyes all night as she saw the shape, but then couldn't figure it out. And then, they held realization and shock.

"Where are we?" she murmured.

"This is Isle Esme," I smiled.

"Isle Esme?" she questioned, in shock.

I laughed. "A gift from Carlisle – Esme offered to let us borrow it."

I stopped the boat, grabbing the bags and tossing them into the dock. Then I pulled Bella into my arms.

"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" she muttered, rolling her eyes.

I grinned again, kissing the top of her nose. "I'm nothing if not thorough." I grabbed her bag in one hand, leaving the rest, and cradled her in my other arm.

I studied every expression on her pale face as she once again took in everything. Her cheeks glowed in the moonlight. As we continued up the path, the gentle rays reflecting of the moon combined with the soft lights shining from the house, casting purple-orange shadows on her skin. I inhaled softly in exasperation.

Her sudden increase in heartbeat drew my attention back to her eyes, which looked stubbornly in the other direction. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, when a sudden fear started creeping through my body. I almost froze where I was standing.

She was nervous. I was nervous. This could end so, so badly. But… that was the same fear that had been on my mind since the compromise. This… this felt different, entirely strange and new to me. The fact that Bella could get hurt was pushed to the side of my mind – not forgotten, of course, it was never forgotten – I was about to lose my virginity. But that didn't scare me as much as the fact that I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Of course, I knew the medical and basic concepts… but I couldn't help but think… what if I wasn't good enough? Human enough?

I stepped onto the porch, setting the bags down and looking towards her, waiting for her to shift her eyes and meet my gaze.

The sudden warmth of her brown eyes looking deep into my frozen ones made me almost forget – never completely – my worries and take her across the threshold, filling my duties as her husband. I then took her through the house, the pale colors making me feel at home. I stopped at the last bedroom – our bedroom – turned on the light, and carried her in. I put her down as softly as I could.

"I'll… go get the luggage," I whispered.

I sprinted to the door, taking one quick, calming breath of the natural, tropical air before grabbing the bags and racing back to the room. As soon as I returned, I noticed a small bead of sweat dripping down Bella's neck. I brushed my hand across it slowly, not wanting her in any discomfort.

"It's a little hot her," I said apologetically, almost regretting my decision. "I thought… that would be best."

"Thorough," she murmered.

I chuckled, then swallowed slowly, not knowing what to do with these emotions I wasn't used to feeling.

"I tried to think of everything that would make this… easier," I admitted softly.

She swallowed loudly, which almost calmed me down as I realized that my reactions were, indeed, human. But I was still far too nervous, and I could tell that she was, too.

"I was wondering," I said slowly, "if… first… maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?" I took a deep breath. Water… cool, relaxing water… that should do the trick. "The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you'd approve of."

"Sounds nice," she breathed, her voice breaking.

I ignored it. "I'm sure you'd like a human minute or two…. It was a long journey."

She nodded, but the action was stiff, robot-like. I leaned in, urging to comfort her, and brushed my lips against her throat. She needed humor… I chuckled once, almost sounding fake. "Don't take too long Mrs. Cullen."

She jumped a little, and I almost felt true humor.

"I'll wait for you in the water," I whispered, brushing my lips down to the tip of her shoulder. I then turned and walked through the French doors, out onto the sand, dropping my shirt as I left. As I reached the beach it only took one swift movement and the rest of my clothes were lying on the sand, beneath the crooked palm tree. I took each into the water slowly, feeling the liquid shape itself against my stone-cold limbs and analyzing how each drop of water splashed and settled against my skin before taking another step. When the water was up to my waist, I released all the air in my lungs and fell backwards into the water, sinking to the bottom like a rock.

Because that's what I am. A rock. A rock and – even though my feeble consciousness had warned me over and over again – I was still about to take this innocent girl's life into my hands. Not only into my hands, but on the tip of my little finger, balancing her precious soul and every dream on almost nothing. Just one wrong movement, even a simple twitch, and she would fall. Break. Two lives, one innocent and pure, one demonic and cold, shattered.

Even if I managed to keep my strength under control, what if I bit her? I could not, absolutely NOT take away these last few weeks of her life. Anything can happen in a day. Anything…

And then there were my more selfish worries, which had surfaced earlier. I was a monster… unhuman. What if I wasn't as in touch with my human instincts as my siblings? Although Carlisle had assured me not to worry, how could I be sure? What if I was all wrong… not enough?

And then, as much as I was trying to suppress it, there was a tingling excitement that I had never felt before. I assumed it was some form of male hormones, and I shivered in disgust. Although, it was the most pleasant feeling…

I pushed myself up and out of the water, taking a gulp of fresh air as any human would have done. I felt more at ease with all of my senses back. I placed my hands against the water, feeling the rippling waves and then looking up to the moon. The soft grey crevices highlighted its imperfections, but also its uniqueness. Its loneliness… it did look pretty lonely.

Bella's soft footsteps padded across the sand. I closed my eyes, imagining what she'd look like as she took each one. She paused – I heard a light fabric fall to the ground… her towel? – and then she continued. She passed through the water, walking slowly and hesitantly, until she was at my side. She placed her hand on top of mine, and I opened my eyes.

"Beautiful," she said, her voice soft, hanging in the air.

"It's all right," I responded. It had nothing on her beauty. I turned slowly to face her, her delicate face, and my eyes met hers, the chocolate-brown looking almost black. I twisted my hand to twine our fingers together, pulling her hand beneath the surface. "But I wouldn't use the word beautiful," I continued. "Not with you standing here in comparison."

She half-smiled, raising her free hand. My eyes followed it, curious, until she rested it just about my dead heart. I shuddered – not only at the image of her pale-white skin matching mine, but also at the heat I felt when she touched, the electricity zinging through my body.

"I promised we would try," I whispered, barely able to force my voice loud enough for her to hear. "If… if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once.

She nodded solemnly, her eyes on mine. She took a step closer to me and leaned her head against my chest.

"Don't be afraid," she murmured, "We belong together."

And suddenly my world clicked together. Every worry was gone. All my family's and Bella's assurance meant something. I could do this. It won't go wrong. Even when I'm lacking all focus, I could never really hurt her. She'll always be mine.

"Forever," I agreed.

The change in her breathing let me know when she was awake. I slowly ran my fingers up and down her spine, my arms around her.

How could I have been such a fool? I should've known that I would hurt her. It was all selfishness…

I didn't notice at first; I was so giddy afterwards, it was the strangest feeling. It was like… popping bubbles. As she slept, I replayed each and every moment in my mind, how perfect it was. And then I listened to her speak; her voice saying my name made my night even better. But then, they started to appear.

Bruises.

Handprints.

My handprints.

I hurt her.

And now, as she awoke, I could only think of her pain, pain that I had caused.

Then she laughed. What could she possibly laugh at?

"What's funny?"

Her stomach growled, and she laughed again. "You just can't escape being human for very long."

This was what she was thinking about? No, it couldn't be. This was just another distraction…

"Edward? What's wrong?"

"You have to ask?" I hissed, my voice harder than I intended. I stared into her eyes, waiting for her to drop the false happiness and reveal her pain. She didn't however. Her eyes were swimming with joy and so many other mixed emotions. "What are you thinking?" I whispered.

"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I…?" She slowly cut off her own sentence. This infuriated me even more.

"How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it."

"Hurt?" she squeaked, obviously surprised.

I raised my eyebrow, questioning her denial, watching as she flexed her muscles.

"Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never been better than I am now," she protested. I closed my eyes, getting upset.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this!"

"Edward!" she whispered, her voice finally sounding upset. I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to see what I had done. "Don't say that!" she continued.

"Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster." I still couldn't bear to look at the pain I'd caused…

I heard her gasp. I ground my teeth in anger… trying to hold back all the emotions I had felt. I promised. I promised her, I promised myself, and everyone else. Yet I still hurt her.

"Why am I covered in feathers?" she questioned.

I exhaled impatiently. "I bit a pillow. Or two." (AN – personal fav. quote :D) "That's not what I'm talking about."

"You bit a pillow?" she questioned, "Why?"

"Look, Bella!" I almost growled, trying to keep my temper. I opened my eyes and grabbed her hand – as gently as possible – and stretched her arm out. "Look at that."

Realization dawned on her face. Her eyes swept up and down her arms, down her ribs. She pulled her arm away and poked at the harsh discolorations, watching it fade and reappear. I then placed my hand, barely touching, onto the dark patches, my fingers lining up with the purple lines.

"Oh," she whispered.

"I'm… so sorry, Bella," I whispered. I couldn't believe I put her in pain. I wanted to throw myself off of a cliff, anything that would cause pain… "I knew better than this. I should not have–" I cut myself off with a slight growl. "I am more sorry than I could tell you." I couldn't allow myself to look at her any longer, so I threw my arm over my face and froze in my spot.

The silence in that moment lasted longer than I could imagine. Then her hand grazed against my arm. I refused to move. She pulled, and tugged, but nothing.

"Edward."

I didn't move.

"Edward?"

Nothing.

"I'm not sorry, Edward. I'm… I can't even tell you. I'm so happy. That doesn't even cover it. Don't be angry. Don't. I'm really f–"

"Do not say the word fine," I growled, my voice cold. "If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine."

"But I am," she whispered.

"Bella," I groaned. "Don't."

"No. You don't, Edward."

I turned my head to her.

"Don't ruin this," she protested. "I. Am. Happy."

"I've already ruined this," I whispered. I had. I had ruined everything the second that I decided that this was okay.

"Cut it out," she snapped. I ground my teeth together to let her speak, trying my hardest to be gentlemanly. I didn't want to hear her protests.

"Ugh!" she groaned. "Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so inconvenient to be a mental mute!" My eyes widened a bit. That wasn't what I had been expecting.

"That's a new one. You love that I can't read your mind."

"Not today."

I stared into her eyes, trying to understand. "Why?"

She threw her hands up in frustration, smacking my chest as she brought them back down. I flinched, scared that she'd hurt herself. "Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now! Or five minutes ago, anyway. I was perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now – well, I'm sort of pissed, actually."

"You should be mad at me," I retorted.

"Well, I am. Does that make you feel better?"

I sighed. "No. I don't think anything could make me feel better now."

"That," she snapped. "That right there is why I'm angry. You are killing my buzz, Edward."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. She was being ridiculous. Why isn't she seeing the problem here? I'm the problem! I watched as she took a deep breath and flexed her limbs once more.

"We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then – well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing," she brushed her fingers along my arm. "I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice…"

Practice? Practice?! My expression turned livid, I was so angry. Did she actually think that I could ever aloud myself to hurt her anymore? Haven't I done enough damage so far? "Assumed? Did you expect this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones – that equals a victory?"

She waited patiently as I let off my steam. I finally stopped, allowing myself to take deep breaths. I didn't want to make her upset, but I didn't want to hurt her anymore, either. I forced my breathing to return to normal, and to make my expression less livid.

She looked into my eyes. "I didn't know what to expect – but I definitely did not expect how… how… just wonderful and perfect it was." She gazed down, cheeks blushing, and her voice dropped to a whisper. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me."

I was shocked. I can't believe she would think like that! How could anyone so perfect, so wonderful and amazing like Bella… how could she think that she wasn't good enough? She would always be the greatest, the best I ever had. I placed a finger under her chin and lifted it up so I could gaze into her eyes once more.

"Is that what you're worried about?" I said through my teeth. "That I didn't enjoy myself?"

She looked away again. "I know it's not the same. You're not human. I was just trying to explain that, for a human, well, I can't imagine that life gets any better than that."

I looked away. I could not believe she would think like that. How could she think, that after everything she had done, and had just did, that I wouldn't appreciate her. That it wasn't the same for me. She made it perfect, my entire life was perfect because of her.

"It seems that I have more to apologize for," I muttered, frowning. "I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't… well, the best night of my existence. But I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were…"

She smiled slightly. "Really? The best ever?" she asked in a small voice.

I took her face in my hands, still upset. "I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you." My eyes darkened. "He had faith in me, though – faith I didn't deserve." I put my finger to her lips before she could interrupt me. "I also asked him what I should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me… what with my being a vampire. Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me physical love was something I should not treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I did not need to worry about that part – you had already altered me so completely." I smiled.

"I spoke to my brothers, too. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood. But I've tasted your blood, and there could be no blood more potent than that… I don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

"It was more. It was everything."

"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way."

"What does that mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?"

I sighed, frustrated. "To ease my guilt. I can't ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes."

She slipped her finger under my chin, and I looked towards her. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. I've never been so happy in all my life – I wasn't this happy when youdecided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill me, or the first morning I woke up and you were there wainting for me… Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio" –– I flinched. –– "or when you said 'I do' and I realized that, somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better than any of them. So just deal with it."

I looked into her eyes, which were sincerely happy. But the frown line above her eyebrows just wouldn't fade… "I'm making you unhappy now. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't you be unhappy. That's the only thing that's wrong here."

Oh, but she was so wrong. But I put my thoughts aside, took a deep breath, and nodded. "You're right. The past is past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now."

She examined my face, suspicious. But then a cunning, mischievous grin flashed across her face. "Whatever makes me happy?"

Her stomach growled.

"You're hungry!" I said quickly, trying to grab the first excuse I could find. I leapt out of the bed, which stirred up a cloud of feathers.

"So, why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" she asked, with honest curiosity as she sat up and shook some feathers from her hair. I had already pulled on some loose khaki pants for roaming around the house.

"I don't know if I decided to do anything last night," I muttered. "We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you." I took a deep breath, trying to push away the dark thoughts seeping into my mind. I succeeded, and gave Bella a half-genuine smile. She slipped off the bed, stretching. I turned away from her, not able to look at the bruises. I could almost feel the pain she was in, doubled and striking my heart of ice.

"Do I look that hideous?" she said lightly. I didn't have an answer, I just stood, frozen, trying to clear my thoughts so Bella could be happy. She brushed past me, into the bathroom.

I had almost succeeded when I heard a groan from the bathroom. I was at Bella's side in an instant, worried she was hurt.

"Bella?!"

"I'll never get this all out of my hair!"

"You would be worried about your hair," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. I quickly picked out feather after feather, wishing that Esme had cotton pillows.

"How do you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous," she said innocently. She didn't look ridiculous, though. She looked like she had been beaten up by a crazy mob.

"This isn't going to work," she continued when I did not answer. "It's all dried in. I'm going to have to try to wash it out." She turned to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Do you want to help me?"

As much as I wished I could, I simply couldn't. "I'd better find some food for you," I whispered, flying into the kitchen. While she was taking her shower, I cooked some scrambled eggs with bacon and cheese, using the difficult task to clear my mind. I was quite proud of it; it looked exactly as it had on the television. I smiled when I heard Bella entering the room.

"Here," I said, passing her the plate. She sat down and began shoveling the eggs into her mouth.

"I'm not feeding you enough," I muttered.

"I was asleep," she retorted. "This is really good, by the way. Impressive for someone who doesn't eat."

"Food Network," I said cheekily, smiling.

"Where did the eggs come from?"

"I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first, for this place. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers…" I looked away again, the horrid thoughts creeping back into my mind. Bella was hurt. It was my fault.

"Thank you," Bella told me as she finished, leaning across to kiss me. I kissed her back automatically. She was so, so sweet…

But then I had to pull away. What if I hurt her again?

She realized my plan just as I had made it in my head. "You're not going to touch me again while we're here, are you?"

I hesitated, unsure what to say. Then I smiled and raised my hand to stroke her cheek.

"You know that's not what I meant," she frowned.

I sighed, wishing this conversation was over. It was as hard for me as it was for her. "I know. And you're right. I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again."

AN – Taadaaaa! Sorry again. Not many people reviewed, so I wasn't very inspired. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help but forget about you :( I think the moral of the story is… please review, because I really need it! And in return, I'll update! Also, let me know if Edward's getting OOC. It may be a little boring for now, because I'm mainly writing scenes that are already quote by quote from the book… I simply cannot change Stephenie Meyer's amazing writing. However, for the scenes where Edward's moves aren't already dictated, it will get less boring.

Please continue to review! Once again, I really need it and I'm sorry :( SPREAD THE WORD. You know you want your friends to read this ;)