Disclaimer- The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me.

A/N- No, this title isn't meant to imply lemons- you dirty minds! Bella's going on her first date- ever- with Edward. And of course, get more of an idea of what it's like to be eating disordered and how it ruins all aspects of your life.

BPOV

Alice stressed over what was sexy but not slutty, what said I was interested in another date, but not desperate. The truth was, somebody at my age not being de-virginized yet was pretty desperate. It was a low-cut hot pink halter dress with pink espadrills.

My ankle was better, now, but I knew that I'd have to be careful on these shoes. My skin was still a little pink from the burns, but in low light, you couldn't see it. Alice helped me with my make-up.

"Do you have your Xanax with you?" Alice asked, putting my blush on me.

"Yes," I said.

"Good," she said. The doorbell rang. "I'll get it!"

She dashed off to open the door. I listened. "Hi, Edward! She's almost ready," Alice was saying.

"Thanks," Edward said.

"Do you want to wait in the living room?" she asked. "Have a seat, make yourself comfortable."

"Yes, thanks," he said.

I took a deep breath. I hadn't been able to figure out an ulterior motive why he'd ask me out. I wondered if he'd expect me to go home with him. Panic welled up in my throat.

"I'm back," Alice said, coming back into the bathroom, picking up the eyeliner. "He looks so great."

"I knew it."

"Pink is such a good color on you, Bella," Alice said, stepping back to admire her handiwork. I stood up to admire myself in the mirror.

"Thank you Alice," I said. "Um, Alice..."

"Pink isn't as great as royal blue, but… we'll save that until… you know… you play your cards right," Alice said, wiggling her eyebrows, ignoring me."

"Alice, do you think... do you think he's going to ask me to go home with him?"

"What's wrong with that?" she cried. "Besides, I really want a good relationship for you. Is that so much to ask for?"

"No, not really," I admitted. "But, I'm not sure I want to just yet..."

"Oh, I get it. I tell you what... if you're not home within three hours and you haven't given me an update, I'll call you with a hysterical sob story so you have an excuse to ditch him, okay?"

"That's genius!"

"No, it's not!" Alice laughed. "Come on."

I stepped into the living room. Edward looked up. "Wow," he muttered. "Bella…"

I smoothed my skirt on my thigh. Edward didn't look that bad, himself. He was wearing a charcoal grey suit that looked like a designer had made it with a cobalt blue shirt. He was holding a gerbera daisy. "Hi."

"You look great."

"Thanks."

"Oh," he said. "I got this for you," he said, holding out the flower.

I had never gotten a flower from a man before. I took it. "Thanks, Edward," I said. "Let me put this in water."

Alice met me between the living room and kitchen. She had been spying. "I got it," she said, plucking it from my hand. "Go. Have a good time. Update me before ten."

"Thanks," I said. "I love you." We kissed on each other on each side of our faces.

"Wear my trench coat!" she hissed. "It'll go with the outfit."

Edward helped me into the coat.

"Have a good time, Bella!" Alice called.

"I will!"

We stepped out into the hallway and down to the staircase. Oh shit, I was wearing heels. Edward politely offered me his arm.

"I made reservations at a bistro in downtown. You'll love it," he said, before an awkward pause could set in.

"A bistro?"

"Yes. Great food."

I hated it when restaurants serve huge portions of food- and it seemed they all did. I felt terrible when I ordered shrimp scampi and they brought out a plate as big as my head. "How is it?" Edward asked with my first bite. I couldn't help it; it felt slimy in my throat. But, I had ordered it.

"It's delicious," I lied.

I managed to take a few more bites between our conversation before it felt like too much. I found myself talking about photography. Edward kept on asking me about it. It was easy to talk about it, a little too distracting from the food. I tried to do the bait and switch to make it look like I was cutting up the pasta and shrimp where I spoke or asked a lot of questions to distract him, but it didn't seem to work. My stomach was churning. I excused myself to the restroom.

I didn't want to throw up. I didn't like doing it. I'd eventually confess to either Alice or Amy out of guilt. I hated admitting it.

I leaned on the counter, my arms shaking. God, Bella, you are so pathetic, I thought, sweat beads gathering on my forehead. I was being normal. I was on a date with a very attractive doctor, yet I was thinking about throwing up a very nice dinner he was buying me. I would go back to the table with an empty stomach, low blood sugar and a bloated, splotchy face, water spots on my clothes from the splashback in the toilet and my make-up smeared, my eyes watery. He'd know. He was freaking doctor.

No. I had to hold it down.

I wiped off my forehead with a paper towel and went back into the dining room. The server was taking our plates away.

"Do you want dessert?" Edward asked when I came back.

"No thanks," I said, sitting down.

"No tiramisu? This restaurant as great tiramisu," he said. "You hardly touched your food."

"No!" I cried. I touched enough of it and you'll never touch me, now- ever. "I'm completely full," I stuttered, covering for my stupid outburst.

"Okay!" Edward said. "I'm not trying to push it."

The server suddenly returned- with a foil swan and the check. "Oh god," I muttered, embarrassed.

Edward grinned. "I know," he said, putting his credit card in the leather case. "I said you were going to take your leftovers home. I didn't know they were going to do that."

"I don't usually need a doggie bag," I lied. Normally, I just had them throw it out.

"He went to the trouble, Bella," Edward said. "At least leave the restaurant with it."

I'd look stupid not taking it. He was right. "Okay, I will," I said. "But I can't promise I won't throw it out at home."

"Fair deal."

I carried the stupid foil swan filled with most of my dinner out with Edward to his Aston-Martin. He opened the car door for me and let me into the passenger seat and I sat with the foil swan in my lap. "Okay, so I walked out with this, can we toss it somewhere?" I asked.

"I suppose," Edward said. "Didn't you like dinner?"

In my haste, I hadn't realized that I was putting his taste in restuarants down by complaining about having leftovers on a date he took me on. "I did!" I explained. "It was great, I just can't take a lot of rich foods, really. I was so excited about going out with you- I forgot- no, I mean, I go out a lot, but- I've been so busy since going to graduate school, I haven't, lately-" How stupid and awkward could I be? I just admitted nobody took me out to cover up for my lack of eating. Damnit.

"Bella, it's okay. I was excited about going out with you tonight, too. My life's pretty boring outside work these days," he said. "What about a movie next time?"

"A movie?" I repeated like a stupid parrot.

"Yeah," he said. "I'll call you."

"You're already asking me out on another date?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "I know it's a bit forward, but… Let me take a look at my schedule over the next few days and get back to you."

"Oh," I said. "Sure, yeah a movie." I could be pretty calm in a movie. We didn't have to fill up the quiet moments by talking or eating. I could come up wit ha good excuse not to eat popcorn or candy or coke. A diet coke was fine. Or maybe, if I was careful and paid attention, I could eat only some of the popcorn, a controlled amount- only one-hundred calories and dump the rest at my non-Edward side-

Wait, I was sitting here planning my food out on a first date. What kind of fucking loser did that? I realized we were already at my apartment. What was I supposed to say- uh- oh yeah."Thanks for taking me out tonight."

"Of course," he said. He got out of the car and helped me out. "I can walk you up to your apartment."

"No, that's alright!" I said, feeling a moment of alarm. Would he expect me to invite him in? What if Alice wasn't there? "Call me," I said, without thinking. When I realized what I had said, I wanted to slam my head into the bricks.

"I will. Have a good night, Bella."

In my apartment, Alice and Jasper were watching TV while she was hemming a pair of pants.

"How did it go?" Alice asked, jumping up, ecstatically. "You brought home food! What'd you get?"

"He asked me on a second date- before I even got home, but I don't think he's going to call."

Alice squealed and clapped. "What's in the swan, Swan?"

"Oh, I didn't even realize I bought this home!" I cried. "Shrimp scampi."

"Sounds good. You might as well refrigerate it," Jasper said.

"Yeah, it was really rich, though," I said. They were showing interest in the food- I could get them to eat it! "You should try it." I tried to shove it into Jasper's lap.

"We will," Alice said.

"I'm going to go to bed, I've got class in the morning."

"Alright," Alice said. "Good night."

"Good night."

I wondered what other stupid mistakes I made on that first date. God, I was going to die a virgin.

I got a phone call from Charlie the next afternoon. He had gone fishing with Billy. "How many fish did you catch?" I asked.

"Three good ones," he said. "But, I threw 'em all back."

"I'm sure, Dad."

"I heard from the Cullens that you went on a date last night."

"What!?" I cried.

"News travels fast in a small town. I ran into Esme Cullen at Newton's Outfitters," he said. "She was getting a mosquito pheromone machine. They live right by the river."

"I heard those work really well," I said, trying to divert the subject.

"Don't change the subject, Bells."

"So, I take it she heard from Alice," I said, my cheeks flushing.

"Who was it?" Charlie asked.

"Somebody I met through Jasper," I said. I realized how grown-up that sounded. I smiled to myself. Even if the date had been a disaster.

"Name please."

"Da-aaad!"

"I gotta watch out for my little girl!"

"Okay, his name is Edward."

"What does he do?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"I need to know that he's not a bum."

"Okay, fine, he's a doctor," I said. "A pediatric cardiology intern."

"Oh, okay," Charlie replied. "That's not bad. Are you going out with him, again?"

"He wants to go out with me to a movie sometime soon," I said. "Despite how stupid I acted."

"Already?"

"Yes," I admitted. "He seems like a really nice guy so far. But, I don't think he's going to call."

"Bells, maybe he doesn't think you acted stupid," Charlie said. "Have you ever consider that? He probably didn't think you were weird at all. You're a bright, beautiful girl-"

I cut him off. I hated hearing that. "Well, we'll just chalk it up to a learning experience for my next date. If I ever get asked out again."

"Well, sweetheart, I'm glad you're finally meeting somebody," Charlie said. He was really saying I'm glad you're finally acting like a normal twenty-something girl.

"Me too," I said. "So, when are you going to go out on a date, Dad?" I asked, switching the subject.

"Oh, nobody could ever hold a candle to your mother, sweetheart."

"Don't give me that!"

"I know," he said. "Just enjoy your twenties-"

I got a beep on my phone. I checked it and saw Edward's number. "Dad, I gotta go."

"What? What could possibly be more important than talking to your Dad?"

"It's- it's Edward."

"Oh," he said knowingly. "Talk to you later. I love you."

I hit the flash button. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bella?"

"Hi, Edward," I said. "How's it going?" Why did I ask him that? He could be calling to rub it in that he wasn't interested in that movie. Oh shit, oh-

"I'm alright, just a little worn out. I had a few minutes so I thought I'd call you, I'm almost off work. I've got a few days off after this shift is over tomorrow- do you want to go to that movie tomorrow night?"

I was stumped. He was actually asking me for a second date? "Sure!" I cried. Oops. Overeager. "Yeah, what time?"

"Thursday at six sound good?"

"Sure," I said.

"I gotta go- they're calling me back- we'll play it by ear, okay?"

"Sounds good."

Yes. He really wanted to take my on a second date!