Disclaimer- The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me.

BPOV

I was squealing and jumping up and down when I shut the door to my apartment.

"Did Edward call?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "We're going to the movies!"

"Yes!" Alice hissed. "What are you going to wear?"

"Jeans," I answered. "It's always cold in the theatres, anyways."

"You have to have a good top on!" she cried. "You can't just wear a t-shirt."

"Oh no," I groaned.

Alice dragged me into her bedroom and started pulling out three-quarters sleeve tops and telling me about how flattering these were.

By the time Edward came to pick me up for the movie, I was in a royal blue three-quarters sleeve top (Alice made me wear it) and I had on black pointed-toe heeled boots. I didn't let Edward stick around for too long because Alice was jumping up and down too much. "That's a great color on you," Edward said. "Too bad we're going to be in the dark the whole night."

"I didn't think of that," I said, putting on my brown pea coat and lavender scarf. "Can I buy the pop corn?"

"No, I'm the man, I should pay for the date."

"We've been out before," I said. "I think I should be allowed to pay for something."

"You can pay me a compliment."

"Ha ha, you're funny," I said before realizing how bad that sounded.

He chuckled.

"Okay. In all seriousness, you look very nice tonight."

"Thank you," he said. He opened the car door for me.

As always, Kevin Spacey was amazing in this movie. The independent movie theatre didn't have stadium seats and the arm rests didn't come up- not that I minded. I found my hand grazing Edward's a few times. My heart skipped a beat when it did. I felt like maybe how a teenager should. After the movie was over, the weather had cleared up and it was early.

"Do you want to go out to the marina?" Edward asked.

"Sure," I said. I didn't know what was so great about the marina, but I found out once we got out there.

It was lit up with Christmas lights and there were people out, walking up and down the pier between the moored boats. It was still early enough that children were out with their families.

"So, Bella, I got the glossed over version of why you came to Washington," Edward said. "What's the real story?"

"We've only been out on two dates," I said. "Well, one and a half, technically."

"Doesn't my driving you home from the engagement party count?" he asked.

"Okay," I said. I shivered. I had forgotten my coat in the car. "My mother died, so after a year of living with some family friends, I went to live with my dad."

"I didn't know she died," Edward said. "I'm sorry about that." He slipped his jacket off and put it on my shoulders. "What happened?"

"She had breast cancer. Really young," I said. "She went to several doctors before anybody would do a biopsy. By then, it was really too late. They did all they could."

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said. "Man, what a way to ruin a date."

"You didn't ruin it," I said. "It's just what happened."

"It's terrible to lose a parent at a young age. How old were you?" he asked, holding me close for the warmth. He smelled good.

"Twelve," I admitted. "It's just me and my Dad, now. He was the police chief in Forks."

"Oh man, I'm dating a police chief's daughter," he muttered, shaking his head.

"Don't worry, he never discharged his gun on the job," I said. "At least, that's what he told me all the time."

"But he carried a gun on the job?"

"Yes, he did," I admitted. "He retired last year."

"Does he still have the gun?" Edward asked nervously.

"I don't know," I said. "I don't go through his stuff. I just do his laundry when I come home, cook and clean for him. He's a man's man. He mostly just goes out to fish with his best friend in La Push and watches ESPN all the time. I keep trying to get him to date, but I don't have much success. Don't be afraid of him, he's pretty easy-going. Because of Alice's big mouth, he already knows that I went out with you."

"That little pixie," he grumbled.

"Well, she's best friends with her mom," I said. "Her mom is like a second mother to me, too. She told Charlie about you when she ran into him."

"I guess all this talk about parents is difficult," he said.

"It's… okat," I said. "You want to know me, this is part of me."

"Bella," he said softly. I felt his hand in my hair. It was oddly comforting, despite the fact that I hardly let people touch me if I could help it. A boat in the distance honked its horn three times. I held onto the railing. I could hear gulls cawing and him breathing. I liked having him near me. He moved my hair aside, and the area where my shoulder and my neck joined was visible to him. I could feel his breath on that open patch of skin and I felt weak in the knees. His fingers grazed it. I closed my eyes and sighed. I just wanted to kiss him, but I didn't want to be that idiotic, that forward, that brash. I felt goosebumps shoot down my shoulders, my arms and my spine. "Bella, it's getting really late for me," he offered. "I've had a long three days. Can I take you home?"

"Oh, of course," I said softly, feeling a little let down.

He took me back to my apartment, and we had short conversations about our families, work, school. He helped me out of the car and walked me up to my apartment this time. As usual, Alice and Jasper were waiting up for me. Edward said a quiet hello to them, and had a quick beer with us before going home. Once Edward was out the door, Alice got on the phone. "Yes, Charlie, she's home in one piece, before midnight."

"Alice, damnit!" I cried, swiping for the cell phone.

"Charlie's just not here to make sure he's treating you alright," Jasper said. "We have to pick up the slack!"

"I'm going to take a shower and go to bed!" I snapped. "You nosy, gossiping bastards!"

The cat watched me get into the shower out of some morbid curiosity with water. I washed my hair twice and blow-dried it straight before going to bed.

I laid down to sleep until I woke up in the middle of the night with a panic attack.

I had ruined the date, telling Edward about my mother. He was never going to call again. Of course, I had done it. He had been debating kissing me, and then I went and ruined it- the more he thought about it, the more I freaked him out. I was the idiot, here. I had no prior dating experience. I was a loser to the ninth degree. I had contemplated purging in a public restroom on a date and now I was crying over my dead mother. So much for Normal. How much an idiot was I?

I got out of bed to locate my vial of Xanax. It was in my purse. I took one and waited for it to kick in. I had actually eaten pop corn on the date tonight in the movie theatre and hadn't even tried to control myself. That contributed to it. I looked like a fat pig.

Stripping down to my underwear, I stood on the scale that I hid under my bed and weighed myself. I was a pound heavier than yesterday. Alice didn't know that I hid a scale in my room. I would be so ashamed if she found out. She had thrown away her bathroom scale in college in an attempt to help me with my eating problems, and now, here I was, hiding a scale. There were packages of crackers and cookies and pudding cups and all sorts of candies and chips hidden all among my laundry and things. Because I was a pig and liked to gorge all by myself. Why couldn't I control my eating? If I could just be quiet and control my food, I wouldn't be alone. People would actually like me and I wouldn't be a loser. I wouldn't ruin dates and I might actually had a decent boyfriend.

Dizzy came out of Alice's room and jumped up on my bed as if trying to comfort me. She rubbed against my leg. I picked her up and cried as quietly as I could, blinking with her giant eyes. Well, atleast I had my cat. Damnit. I was going to turn into the old scary cat lady.

I put my pajamas back on and sat down with her. She meowed a few times at me and curled up in the bend of my knees. I turned out the lights once the Xanax started to take effect. I was back to being scary, crazy, lonely Bella Swan. Now, new and improved with a cat.