Be still my beating heart
It would be better to be cool
Its not time to be open just yet
A lesson once learned is so hard to forget
Be still my beating heart
Or Ill be taken for a fool
Its not healthy to run at this pace
The blood runs so red to my face
Ive been to every single book I know
To soothe the thoughts that plague me so
I sink like a stone thats been thrown in the ocean
My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion
Stop before you start
Be still my beating heart. -Sting
The ceremony itself was blessedly simple, and somewhat anti-climatic in comparison with the frenetic preparations that had been involved. Amanda hardly had time to notice it was begun before it was over:
Months later, when trying to write the events in her journal, she would realize with curiosity, that she could not clearly recall all of those small details that other married women could describe so readily.
Eloise, true to her word and despite her instincts, had kept it as small as possible, without offending anyone too important. There were faces she did not recognize, and faces that she did recognize...but could not for the life of her put a name to.
All of those faces belonged to Witches and Wizards who, unlike Muggle wedding guests, were attired in the most outrageous of costumes and robes, in bright colors and wild patterns.
She had sought out Edward's face, and kept her eyes riveted to him, using his solid presence to help ground herself. To all outward appearance she was beautiful and serene, just enough of a smile on her painted lips, eyes tilted coquettishly, every step a smooth graceful work of art.
Inside, she was praying to whichever god, goddess or saint might be listening to help her please not be sick, and to ensure that she glided to the bottom of the stairs, instead of tumbling head over heels.
At last she was relatively safe, standing beside her husband-to-be, who suddenly seemed very nervous, and trembled noticeably as he took her hands in hers. A man with a sandpapery voice had begun to speak, and by sheer luck, they both managed to muddle satisfactorily through their responses.
After the kiss, the audience converged upon them, and Amanda found herself hugged, congratulated and introduced to more people. Ladies gathered around to compliment the dress, and didn't seem to noticed that when Stella had embraced her, she had left a few tears stains on the shoulder.
Everything that followed was a mish-mash of Muggle and Wizarding traditions, old and new, and Amanda was ushered from one task to the next, signing the papers the Ministry official thrust at her,, smiling for cameras, saying hello, and thank you; accepting gifts, declining champagne and avoiding anything on which her hem might become snagged.
The entire group, seemed to know when to move en masse to the next room, where the tables and dance floor loomed menacingly. Amanda was trying to remember what she was supposed to do next, and Edward was trying to read her expression. Was she actually happy? Or was that the insane workings of his dusty imagination?
They found themselves seated at the longest table. In the center of the table, Eloise's most clever idea rose abruptly. They had never quite managed a cake. Amanda had chosen the one cake, but after discovering it was to be a fruit cake for the sake of tradition, she had rebelled, and had asked that, since this was a magical world, wasn't there something unusual that might be done instead of the traditional, and in her opinion unpalatable, wedding cake?
The result was the peanut butter fountain.
A lavish, three tiered fountain, it resembled in shape and color the most elaborate of cakes. However, what it really served was a hot peanut butter and fudge sauce that was charmed to be just as white as the fountain, without losing any of it's flavor.
The guests used silver spoon so to dip the sauce into dainty white bowls, with or without ice cream. Not a few of them moaned in ecstasy over the rich goodness of the unique confection.
All of the Rookwood women were possessed of an insatiable fancy for sweets, and had decided that a dessert reception would be much more elegant than a true luncheon. The tables were laden with everything from simple bowls of cherries, to elaborate cream-filled pastries.
The toasts were offered, after everyone had gorged themselves on sugar. Then the married couple had to lead the first dance. At first this was awkward, being the sole dancers and the center of attention in what seemed a vast empty expanse of polished wood.
After a suitable interval, or perhaps the music changed, Amanda couldn't be sure, other couples joined them. Both she and Edward relaxed considerably. Humans were fickle in their interests, and once they began dancing with each other, they quickly lost interest in the bride and groom.
" It seems I haven't spoken to you in ages." he said in a low voice. The lights were low, and he had her pulled very close indeed, so that they could at last talk in relative privacy.
" Thirty six days, if I'm not mistaken. " she said coyly. " It seems like all I've done for the last three months is try on clothes, and be poked and pinned."
" You look lovely though." had he pulled her a little closer? " So very elegant."
" Thank you. You look nice too." she whispered. They twirled past Eloise, who was in the arms of a broad shouldered man sporting a set of glossy brown mutton chops. " But, you always do." Amanda added bravely.
He was flattered, but unconvinced. The girl was polite, was all, and very generous.
" Thank you, Amanda, but you never have to lie for my sake." he led them out of Eloise's earshot.
Amanda tilted her head, and gazed up at him with her agate-grey eyes.
" I'm not lying. If I lie, I get a distinctive twitch beneath my left eye. I've learned to never depend on lies." her southern accent washed over him like warm honey, and he felt he could easily melt in her hands.
" I don't see a twitch." he said, pulling back to peer closely at her face.
" That is because I am not lying." she informed him.
" You are a peculiar girl."
" Thank you. I hope you won't find me too tedious."
" I don't believe that I will. We do have a few things we need to discuss, though."
" Such as?" they executed another escape from Eloise, who insisted on circling close.
" I think perhaps it would best to wait until we are not in such close proximity to your Aunt. I cannot concentrate with her bustle behaving in that fashion." without taking his eyes from Amanda's he had managed to keep watch on Eloise's escapades.
Amanda risked a brief look to the side, and noted that Eloise dress did have a bustle, a rather large bustle, and it was bouncing in a ridiculous fashion as her partner danced her around the floor, at a rate much faster than the tempo of the music.
The sight was so amusing, and Amanda was so relieved to be through the ceremony, that she began to laugh, and once she began she could not control it, and had to hide her face against his shoulder. He rested his chin lightly on her hair, and glared at Eloise, who was staring triumphantly at them.
" Well, I've embarrassed myself." Amanda stated softly, after her laughter had subsided.
" No one should be ashamed of laughter." he said.
They continued to dance. The music changed to an even slower waltz, and since he didn't seem inclined to stop, she didn't suggest it. Here, they were safe from the 'people'.
" Why are you smiling?" .
" I'm happy. " she stated simply, with a petite shrug.
" You like the locket?" he asked suddenly.
Her smile grew even broader.
" I love the locket!" she exclaimed, and surprising him, she bounced up on her toes and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. " I'm very sorry I couldn't thank you until now."
Her birthday fell on the 29th of May, which was eighteen days before the wedding. When asked by her family what she wanted, she had requested only to be able to sleep in an extra hour or so, and to have an entire day free of any talk or shopping that had to do with the wedding.
Coming down to breakfast at the late hour of eleven o'clock, she had a discovered a long thin box wrapped in purple foil, waiting on the table.
" Edward left it for you this morning," Winter had said.
Amanda had taken up the package and shaken it gently.
" Oh, just open it." Eloise had said in exasperation.
" Should I?"
" He assured me it was nothing embarrassing." Eloise replied drily.
Peeling back the foil had revealed a creamy wooden box with gold leaf accents
Inside of the box, she had discovered a locket. A stylized oval locket, consisting of polished coral encompassed by gold filigree. Over the coral lay a delicately carved, lace-like cameo bust of mother-of-pearl.
Except for having Roman clothing and hairstyle, the woman resembled Amanda very closely.
Amanda had fallen in love with it immediately, and after a short debate, they had all agreed it would be appropriate for her to wear it with her wedding dress, provided that Amele change the color of the rosette from lavender to coral.
Now, as they danced, it hung around her slender neck, on it's elaborate chain of delicate, inter-locked flowers, the pendant resting just above the swell of her bosom.
" Corallium secundum, in a rather rare shade. I couldn't help but be reminded of your hair, when I saw it." he confessed. " You seem just as fiery and delicate."
With a shy smile, she returned her face to his shoulder. Behind him, she espied Amele, dancing with a man that could only be Jean-Paul, her husband. The top of his head only came to Amele's nose, and was as bald as an egg on top. When Amele glanced up and caught Amanda's eye, she gavea dramatic wink, and grinned, showing her lovely gapped teeth.
This time when the music changed, Amanda found herself handed off to the man Eloise had earlier danced with. This was Edward's friend and chess partner, Colonel Giles Barkwater.
Barkwater had become colonel by running away from the Wizarding world in his youth and joining the Muggle army. Retired now, his only battles were fought after dinner and brandy, over the chess board. Amanda learned this much during his extremely fast dance. He was a jovial fellow, but she was relieved when another person cut in to the dance, at a much more normal pace. A glance across the room showed Edward dancing with Stella, who was lecturing him about something, while he looked indignant.
Returning her face to her partner's, Amanda was suddenly frozen by the man's face. He was a youngish man, with nondescript brown hair, a square face and close set blue eyes. He seemed vaguely familiar, and might have seemed kind, or even intelligent, had it not been for the rather sullen expression with which he regarded her. His grip on her arm was uncomfortably tight, yet he kept her a safe distance from his immaculate suit.
" Well, you've done well for yourself, haven't you?" he asked.
" I'm sorry? I don't believe we've been introduced."
" Hmmm...I don't believe so either. Now why do you think that is?" he asked in a thoughtful tone.
" You're hurting my arm, sir."
" I suppose you'll get accustomed to that, unfortunately."
" I don't understand. "
" You will understand. Do you know who I am?" he asked, easing his grip, slightly.
" No."
" Elias Ollivander Blackmoor." his tone was slightly contemptuous, of herself or his own name, she couldn't be certain.
" Oh. " she came to a halt. " I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to meet you before. Have-"
" You needn't play with me. I have no interest in your little games. " he jerked her slightly back into the dance, smiling without humor.. " I just wanted to come and see the little Muggle girl that not only captured my father's attention, but has my good friend Martin in such a state of distress. I'm rather disappointed actually. You know my mother, she was a beautiful woman."
" Well, I'm very glad for her." Amanda replied coolly.
He shrugged.
" Well she survived him. He really can be a-"
His face broke suddenly into such a winning smile, that she was disoriented. Had he been teasing? A step-son's joke on a new mother? Then she saw the reason for his false amiability. Edward was striding toward them.
" Good afternoon Father. And congratulations. She really is charming." Elias passed her to his father.
" Thank you." Edward replied, taking her arm. " I'm honored you could be here. And how are the Blackmoor's?"
" Oh...you know. As well as can be expected, what with this law. Fancy that, Father. People like us...forced into such unions." he shook his head sadly.
Edward and Elias exchanged a few more clipped pleasantries, before Edward led Amanda back to the table. After he had seated her and called for her another glass of champagne, he rubbed his forehead and sighed.
" I'm sorry if he said anything rude to you."
" He wasn't really being rude." she assured him, only to have her nervous eye begin to flicker a slightly He noticed, and gave the slightest smile. " He was merely testing me."
Edward kissed her hand and they turned to watch the dancers.
The party went on all afternoon. There were some Wizarding games, and then a feast which consisted of samplings of foods from around the world, including, Amanda noticed, her own American South. She gratefully enjoyed a plate of the first white hominy she had seen in over eleven months.
The whole time the festivities were going on, Polly, and two temporary servants hired for the day, were moving Amanda's things to her new house, which had been opened and aired. She had asked that as little was to be uncovered and cleaned as possible. She wanted to do that much herself, and he had agreed. It seemed foolish to take the time, even with magic, to clean the entire house, when she would only see it for two days before they left for Paris. Courtesy of Eloise.
Elias had disappeared shortly after their meeting, and Amanda wisely did not inquire further about him. She wasn't sure that she wanted to know the details of Edward's first marriage, at any rate.
At last the time had come to leave. The send-off was enthusiastic, not because the guests particularly wished them well, but because the alcohol had flowed freely, and the desserts had been expensive. It had startled Amanda a bit when everyone began to shoot sparks, confetti and colored rice from their wands, complete with loud noises, pops, whistles and music.
Edward and Amanda stepped out beneath the canopy of magic sparks, and as soon as they passed Eloise's ward, he Disapparated them, before someone could catch her dress on fire. Safe on their own doorstep at last, they both took a well earned breath, and sighed in relief. She needed a moment to collect her whirling mind, as Apparation, and Disapparation were a means of travel she had only experienced once or twice.
The sky overhead was clear, and starry, and instinctively they both gazed upwards for a few moments. The air was still cool however, much cooler than she was used to, and she tried to suppress a hard shiver.
" Well...I suppose we should go inside." he murmured at last, reaching to unlatch the door.
As soon as he entered, he gave a wave of his wand and several antique gasoliers ignited. He then took her cloak, which Stella had hastily thrown about her shoulders as she left the house, and hung it neatly on the hall tree.
" The grand tour?" he asked, guiding her into the main house. He then led her through the rooms, one by one, waving lights on and off for her. Downstairs there was a long, old fashioned kitchen, with a rough wooden work table; a dining room, a study, a library, a parlor and a maid's room behind the kitchen. There were two staircases. The main one that led upstairs from the foyer, and then a steeper, narrower back stair in the kitchen.
Upstairs there was a set of double rooms, joined by a bath. Two smaller bedrooms, a hall bath, and a large laundry cupboard. An empty room at one end was filled with stored items, and he mentioned that there was more furniture in the attic.
At the far end of the upstairs hall, a door opened out onto a small balcony.
In all of the rooms, the furnishings were covered with white dustcloths, the rugs were rolled up and propped in the corners. Even the desks, tables, and shelves were covered, obviously with whatever objects they had held still in place.
She was overcome with a desire to strip away the coverings and explore all of the nooks and crannies. She resisted the temptation to peek under even one corner, as he gestured for her to proceed into the kitchen once more.
" Sit down, Amanda." he said. It was the first time she had heard him call her anything except
" Miss Garrett" But then, she was no longer Miss Garrett, was she?
A bottle of cold champagne sat on the table, and he insisted she have another glass. She was grateful enough for it, even if she didn't enjoy drinking it, it gave her something to fiddle with, and occasionally hide behind. She felt a little light-headed.
" Amanda, we need to discuss our arrangements." he said bluntly.
He went on to offer the chance to ' take the second chamber', a term she quickly understood to indicate the marriage would be in name only, and therefore illegal.
Of course the Ministry would find out, they had a binding charm on the contract they had signed, and it was only viable through midnight.
After that, his rights would be completely stripped, his wand broken,and they would most likely be banished from the Wizarding world.
When Amanda declined his selfless offer, he gave his secondary offer, which was that she could have the same freedoms , after the Ministry's requirements were met and a healthy, magical child was born to her.
He wouldn't allow her to decline that offer, but told her to answer him when the time came. She finished her drink.
They talked. The table wavered pleasantly under her hand, and when she wriggled her fingers, her ring shone dully.
The hall clock struck nine, and she froze. Three hours to midnight. Three hours. It would take at least five to walk to the stairs, she was sure. Especially the way the room was tilting.
When he reached across the table, and took her hand, she started, nearly upsetting her glass. She gave a nervous laugh.
" Shall we go upstairs?" he asked.
Amanda only nodded, her eyes wide, her bottom lip captured in her teeth.
He helped her to her feet, and she instantly stumbled against him. As easily as though they had known each other for years, he slipped a supporting arm around her waist, and led her to the staircase.
A wave of his hand extinguished the kitchen candles, and re-lit the gasoliers that led the way to the rooms above. This time he did not lead her into any of them. Instead, he released her waist, slowly, once they came to the master chamber.
" I'm stepping out for a cigarette." he informed her, nodding toward the balcony door at the end of the hall.
When she fumbled at the door handle he opened it for her, and held the door until she could enter. He lit the candles, then turned to leave.
As soon as the door closed, Amanda began attempting to remove her wedding dress.
He was nearly to the end of the hall, when she suddenly realized, with the greatest mortification, that Amele had charmed the knots on the dress, so that it was impossible for her to unlace herself!