Disclaimer- The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me.

BPOV

The night Edward got off from work, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I did another night of dinner and a massage, although we had to get him packed for the weekend, too. He was too tired to stand for another shower, so I ran a bath, despite his complaints that he hadn't taken a bath since he was little kid. He got in, still complaining. He had a huge bathtub- one that came up to his shoulders when he sat down in it.

"Quit your whining," I called. "Mine at my apartment doesn't hold that much before the emergency drain begins to suck the water out."

"Aw, poor baby," he replied. "Get in with me, if you're so deprived."

"That sounds like a good idea," I said. I went into the bathroom, taking off my clothes, and climbed in behind him.

"Okay, this is tolerable," he said as I wrapped my legs around him. I felt so grown-up, having a relationship with someone where I was doing something so mundane, but so private, with another person. Nudity with Edward didn't bother me anymore. He neither looked at me like a doctor nor like I was a piece of meat, but with love and fascination and desire. He treated me like I was a special and beautiful and precious. I hoped he'd never know how disgusting I truly was- the way I was so horribly scarred by what the Davises did to me. I picked up the washcloth to scrub off the lavender oil his shoulders, and he laid back on me.

"Don't fall asleep," I said.

"I'm not falling asleep!"

"Sit up, I need to get this oil off your back."

He complied. I scrubbed away, happily. "Sometimes, between Jasper and Alice and us, I think there are no secrets."

"Why do you say that?"

"Jasper alerted me that the books that Alice swore not to move were actually moved in your apartment."

No. Oh GOD no, he knew about me masturbating? NO! I splashed him, hoping confidence would shut him up. "Hey, that's none of-"

"Oh no, it's so my business, Isabella," he said. "I'm finding out tonight." He picked up my foot and began to rub the sole. I stopped scrubbing away on his back and pressed the heel of my palms to my eyes. He laid back on me.

"I'm so embarrassed," I murmured, my whole body burning.

"Why?" he asked, turning to face me over his shoulder. "Weren't you thinking about me?"

"No, I was," I said, trying to look away, laughing out of embarrassment.

"Good."

"I think it's disgusting."

"I think it's really hot."

"You think masturbation is hot?"

"No, just you doing it is hot," he said. "I'd love to watch you."

"What?" I was shocked. I realized he was slyly grinning at me.

"Will you do it for me tonight?" he asked. I wouldn't be able to do that. No, I couldn't bring myself to climax with him watching me.

"No!"

That half-smirk creeped across his face. "Maybe we're not advanced enough for that. But hey, everybody does it."

"They do not."

"They do too, trust me."

"Are you saying you do it?"

"I was a teenage boy once, Bella," he said, turning back around. "I've taken a lot of cold showers since I met you." I had always thought that he had no reason to touch himself- he always had over-eager nurses and woman throwing themselves at him, they'd have satisfied all his sexual needs, wouldn't they? "What's the matter?"

"I just... I just thought that whenever you needed it, there was a woman there for you."

"Bella's that's ridiculous. If I had willing woman every time I wanted to have sex, I'd probably have a serious STD by now. I'd have never gone to class. Do you even understand how much a teenage boy thinks about sex? It's embarrassing."

"I've heard the statistics, but..."

"You think I'm so different?"

"Well... Maybe," I said. "After you lost your virginity at age 14."

"My mother wouldn't give me an allowance unless I cleaned my own bathroom and washed my own sheets," he chuckled. "There just came a point in time when she just couldn't take the mess and couldn't subject the cleaning lady to it. Besides, I didn't have sex again until I was in college."

I couldn't believe I was talking about such a taboo subject with Edward- maybe he was telling me these things to calm me down because he could tell I was embarrassed. And he was fine with me doing this- he was laughing. He liked that I did it. It was normal? Amazing. And he wanted to watch me... my body. As it was, not the toned, perfect thing I had imagined in my mind. I felt so secure and calm. With him.

"I'm so nervous about meeting your parents," I said, trying to change the subject.

"They're going to love you."

"Isn't that what all couples tell each other?"

"Charlie likes me," he said. "That was a huge hurdle."

"He likes your car," I said as he switched feet. I moaned softly. I wondered what Edward had told his mother and father about me… that I was a huge mess and had been almost killed when I was 11 by abusive guardians after my mother died. And that I was possibly molested, but I couldn't remember. I was the fucked-up masturbating technical virgin from the backwoods of Washington state's Olympic Peninsula. How horribly pathetic. I'd never live that down. I felt my muscles seizing up.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, no longer kidding around with me.

"What do your parents know about me?"

"That you're a wonderful person with a good heart that loves taking pictures and reading and taking care of her bachelor father, even though he's three hours away," he said. "That's what they know for sure."

"What else?" I asked, feeling the air choking in my chest.

"Are you asking if they know about Victoria and Jim? Yes, Bella, I've told them, but not in detail."

That didn't calm me down at all. What if Elizabeth Masen thought I was poor anorexic nutcase before she even met me? What if she thought I wasn't good enough for her son, being a small-town police chief's daughter? I grew up relatively poor. I had no special talents like Edward did. Edward was a doctor. He had gone to undergrad at Dartmouth and medical school at Vanderbilt University, following in his father's footsteps. I had stuck close to home, going to a state school. His father had a multi-million dollar pediatrics practice in Chicago before he retired. There was a reason Edward drove an Aston-Martin and not a shitty little 1992 Honda Accord with rust on the hood and torn seats like me. My clothes that I had packed were from Stein Mart, Target and Old Navy, not nice stores, like Anne Klein Loft or Alice's favorite, BCBG: Max Azaria. I'd look so ridiculous at Thanksgiving dinner. My dress for the wedding was from Marshalls, it had been half-price. Elizabeth Masen was probably going to be in real diamonds and in a real designer dress from a Chicago department store. I had never had a boyfriend before. I wondered if that had come up in conversation between Edward and his parents. Everybody knew everything about me just by looking at me- they'd know I was anorexic, they'd know I was anxiety-riddled, they'd know I was still a virgin at the age of twenty-five. What made me think I could venture outside my personal safety circle? My own idiocy. I was an idiot. A big, fat, blubbery, insecure, demented idiot with huge, thick lips and bug-like eyes and a spare tire of fat circling her middle and hips- ugh- what was I thinking-

"Calm down," Edward said. "Really, Bella, it's not as bad as you think it is. My mother is so excited to meet you."

"Edward, I'm not going," I said, pushing him away, getting out of the tub.

"Bella, that's just a panic attack talking."

"No, Edward, really," I said, toweling off. The dinner we had just eaten gurgled in my stomach. I wanted to vomit, but Edward was there, watching me, and he'd know what I was doing. "I can't go, now."

Edward got out of the tub. "Look, I'll get a Xanax, and we'll sit down and we'll call my parents even though it's late- really, they want to meet you!" he said, an edge of franticness on his voice. I couldn't believe my own insecurities were doing this to Edward. I wrapped the towel around myself and walked into the bedroom to get dressed. Edward followed me. The room seemed to close in on me.

"Bella, really, just calm down, listen to me," he continued. "You're not going to do yourself any good backing out at the last minute. Just tell me what the real problem is."

"I never thought about how insignificant my upbringing was before," I said, tears flushing to my eyes. "And now, I'm going to meet your mother. She's a doctor's wife! Edward, you don't know how women can act with each other!"

"Are you saying my mother's going to be cruel towards you with no real reason?" he asked. He sounded cold when he said it. "You don't know her."

I gasped. I hadn't realized I had just insulted his mother. I had just said she'd be a bitch. "No, not at all!" I cried. "It's just never been so glaringly apparent that I'm not good enough for you! I'm sure she's got a girl that you grew up with in mind… and the entire wedding planned out… And here I am, some poor girl from a small town in rural Washington State, stealing her son away-"

"Bella, that's already happened," he said darkly. "We went through that when I was in high school, and that girl broke my heart. My parents let it go, and let me go my own way after that."

I began to root through the clothes I was planning on wearing on the plane tomorrow so I could tug them on. "I just insulted your parents," I muttered.

"Is that why you're putting on street clothes?" he asked. "Come on, my parents both grew up poor- poor enough to know what it's like to go without. My mother's not a narcissistic, judgmental person, Bella. They'll like you."

"I doubt they were that poor," I said, buttoning up my jeans. I didn't want to be naked in front of him any more.

"My dad had to get a job at a factory at the age of sixteen after school to support his mother after his father died," Edward said. "And my great-grandmother used to have to make my mother's dresses when everybody else was buying them at department stores because my Ukrainian grandfather was so busy drinking all the time."

"Oh God!" I said, feeling guilty. Edward had never told me how poor his parents were. And I went around feeling so sorry for myself all the time... I must have looked psycho.

"Bella, you're not low-class- that's what would set them off, if I brought home a girl without any manners. Now, can you take off your clothes and get ready for bed with me?" I sighed, feeling heavy sobs wrack my body. I only got a job when I was in high school so I didn't have to ask Charlie for money to go out shopping with Alice and Angela on the weekends in Port Angeles or for books or camera equipment. I didn't know poor. I didn't know need verses want. Edward wrapped his arms around me. "Let's just re-evaluate this in the morning. I love you and I don't want to be at this wedding with out you. I don't want Rosalie's trashy bridesmaid friends throwing themselves at me." I sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'd rather have you throwing yourself at me."

I found myself laughing through tears at his comment about the bridesmaids. I wriggled out of my jeans in frustration- I was gaining weight again, damnit. They weren't fitting like they used to- and I climbed into bed with Edward. He turned out the lights and stroked my hair. After a few minutes, Edward got up and got a Xanax for me out of my things so I could calm down. I finally stopped crying and sniffling.

"I'll call my parents, even though it's almost eleven there," Edward said, returning with his cell phone. He dialed and put the phone on speaker. I was glad we didn't have video calling standard in America, yet, because we were both naked in the dark. "I'll show you they're good people that will give you a fair chance."

"Hello?" a mature female voice answered.

"Hey Mom, it's me," Edward replied.

"I have caller ID, Edward," she said, chuckling. "Are you all packed up and ready to come back to Lake Forrest?"

"Yes," he said. "Bella's here with me."

"Hi."

"I was wondering what that sniffling was," she said. "Are you sick, darling? I hope not, I can't wait to meet you!"

Edward elbowed me, gently. "She's just got the sniffles. What are you doing up this late, Mom?"

"I've been finishing up some of the prep work for tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner," she said. "We did a lot of work at the domestic violence shelter today, since we're not going to be spending Thanksgiving there, this year. I hope you're excited, I'm making your favorite- green bean casserole."

"I love to make that," I said, without thinking.

"She usually makes it for Thanksgiving at her father's," Edward said.

"I've got all the ingredients, if you want to do it," Elizabeth said. "I don't want you feeling left out, dear."

"I'm sure I won't," I said. I wanted to kick myself- how rude of me to say that! What did she think of me, now? "It's your kitchen."

"Have you gotten to meet Emmett and Rosalie, yet?" she asked.

"Yes, that's where we met, the Seattle engagement party," Edward said. "Bella was there- she's a friend of a friend's."

"Emmett's really funny," I said. "He's a good guy."

"I beg to differ," Elizabeth said. She chuckled.

"He got me into a lot of trouble," Edward explained.

"Oh, I see," I said. Edward went into a whole story about the time that he and Emmett got busted on the beach for fireworks by the Lake Forrest PD when he was 15 and was brought home. The cops found a porno from Emmett's older brother's collection in Emmett's backpack. It was a funny story because Emmett kept trying to talk the cops out of taking them home to their parents and ratting on them with some really funny explanations. In the end, the cops confiscated the fireworks and the porn, and dropped them off with the parents, explaining what had happened. Edward had been grounded for few weeks, but Emmett had been grounded for a month.

"We thought Emmett would go into law after that," Elizabeth said. "Imagine our surprise when he applied for Architect School at UT."

I realized my panic attack was gone, but I was extremely tired, now. "Mom, I think we need to get to bed. Sorry to keep you up so late," Edward said.

"Oh, any time!" she said. "We'll be there at noon to pick you up from O'Hare, sweetheart. I can't wait to meet you in person, Bella!"

"You too," I lied, although I was feeling better. I was only spending two days with her, and then we were going to the hotel in downtown Chicago for the wedding.

"I love you, Mom," Edward said.

"I love you, too," she said. "'Bye."

He ended the phone call. "See? Mom already likes you. What were you so worried about?"

"The Xanax is taking over," I said.

"Good, you're doped up and don't have any clothes on, so I can have my way with you," he said. He was back in a good mood. I smiled, relieved.

EPOV

"Good, you're doped up and don't have any clothes on, so I can have my way with you," I said. A shy smile passed her lips and I saw her teeth catch her lower lip as I positioned myself over her. I smiled back. She had had a panic attack earlier and I had to talk her down. I could see straight into Bella's soul. She was afraid of people seeing her and realizing how different she was and not understanding. She had been misunderstood her whole life- she was lucky to have Alice, Jasper, Angela and Jacob. Yet, I loved her individuality. It was part of loving a person- loving their pasts, feeling pain at the ways they had been wronged.

I had five days with Bella, and the next three, I was going to be very, very busy. I needed personal time with her. She needed my comfort.

She looked up at me- she was no longer the anorexic girl with bones sticking out of her paper-thin flesh, but my Bella, the woman that I knew she was on the inside. She was beautiful, irresistible. I kneeled between her legs and bent them, kissing her knee. I could tell she was putting on weight. I began to kiss my way up her leg.

"Edward," she sighed when my hand grazed her breast. She took my hands by the wrists, and held them to her chest for a moment. I half-heartedly fought her for control of my hands again so I could cup her breasts and stroke them with my thumbs. She wasn't relenting, although I didn't want to overpower her. Oh, how I wanted to take her, but she wasn't ready. "Forgive me?"

"For what?" I asked. I slowly ran my fingertips up the insides of her thighs- she moaned. Her hips began to grind into a better position to me. I slid down her torso and kissed her stomach. For a moment, my lips grazed a line in the ribcage that was poking out. I looked up at her breasts were almost flat against her ribs. Accidentally grazing her bones woke me up to reality. No, I couldn't treat her like a sickly, frail entity. She craved normalcy. Or at least, was looking for it.

I kissed her sunken belly button, dunking my tongue inside it. She smiled, contentedly. Lifting her hips, she flipped me over. I held onto her hips to keep her face near mine.

"I love you," she sighed.

"I love you more," I said. I cupped her butt, but let go- I could literally feel the bones of her hips. When I was with her, in my mind's eye, her butt was cute and round, not bony and cold. "Are you cold?"

"Just a little," she admitted. I grabbed my shirt that I had been wearing, (on and off, trading for my scrubs every few hours) for the past three days and put it on her. She sat up on my hips, tugging the shirt around herself.

"Sorry it's dirty," I said.

"Don't be," she said, sniffing the collar. She smiled. She had forgiven me for this argument tonight. "It smells like you."

"You look so incredibly sexy right now," I said, taking her head and lowering it to kiss her. She did look completely hot in my shirt, nothing else. I left it open so I could still see and touch her body, slipping my hands between the open shirt flaps and holding her hips. She sighed as I slipped my hands up her body, towards her breasts, ignoring the protrusion of her ribs. I tried to cup them, but they were too small. She leaned forward, slightly and they fell into my hands. It was odd fooling around with an anorexic- certain small things had to be paid attention to in order to make up for the differences in her body. She wasn't like other women. If I let myself think about it, I felt like a pedophile, like I was screwing around with a twelve-year-old boy- her lack of breasts and her nonexistant hips, but it was all offset by her ropey muscles on her stomach. I couldn't keep her covered up if I ever wanted to sleep with her- she wasn't stupid, she'd figure it out. I had to slip back into seeing her as the woman I loved.

She moved so she was directly on top of my dick and began grinding. I guess all that masturbation was paying off- she was learning something- and it was driving me insane. I groaned- her wet sex was on top of mine.

"How's this?" she asked, rubbing.

"That's fantastic," I moaned. I rubbed her nipples, which were hard enough to cut diamonds. I felt myself getting harder and harder as she continued to breathe faster and faster. I was going to come if she continued. If she came, I was just going to blow my load, right there.

Biting her lip, closing her eyes, I watched in the dim darkness as she slipped a hand between those dark curls between her legs. If she brought herself off, I was going to fucking lose it. This was as close as she was going to get to masturbating for me tonight, it was better than I expected. It was a peace offering of sorts- an apology for the direction things had gone tonight. I was just kidding when I told her to do it for me. She was so beautiful when she climaxed, normally. "Edward," she mumbled, sighing. A high-pitched sigh came out of her mouth. She was getting off. Her lashes opened, and she looked at me, stopping for a moment.

"Don't stop," I uttered. "Please, don't stop what you're doing…"

She nodded and continued, biting her lip in concentration. I groaned, trying to sustain myself. She gasped, suddenly, and I realized she had just come- quickly. She didn't know how to hold out a long orgasm, yet. She sat on top of me, breathless, still surprised. I smiled and took the hand that had been between her cleft and stuck her fingers in my mouth. I closed my eyes when I tasted her sweet tang- she tasted heavenly. "I don't know what I was doing, there," she said softly, getting up off me.

"Love, don't get off me just yet," I said, softly, trying to hold her on top of me. She bent down to kiss me. She paused, tasting herself on her own lips. She smiled.

"Ew," she muttered in response to her own taste, giggling.

"Hey, you kiss me all the time after blow jobs," I said.

"Let me try to get you off," she said, climbing off my hips. She kneeled between my knees and took my cock between both hands- and began pumping. Her shallow breasts jiggled, hypnotically, like before. I was transfixed. "How's this?"

I could only grunt in response. My vision was blurring because all the blood in my body was going to my dick. I almost jumped up off the bed when her mouth found the tip. Her tongue swirled around it and over the slit. I cried out. Her mouth came off and cupped my scrotum. She had been studying. She had her ass in the air, the hem of my shirt skimming the top of her buttocks, and I noticed that her neck was arching.

"Oh shit," I mouthed as she took my dick back into her mouth and shoved it all the way back into her throat. I laughed and groaned as she held it down, seeing her lips around my cock. It felt amazing as she rubbed her tongue around the base. I realized that a normal girl isn't able to hold it down that long- she could control her gag reflexes a little too well- bulimia- oh god- I grabbed her hair and gently tugged her up. "Bella- love," I said softly. Deep-throating became a complete turn off, suddenly. She pulled it out, her teeth painfully grazing the end. I cried out in pain.

"Edward, you don't like that?" she asked.

"Not for that long, love," I said. "Don't keep it down that long. And watch your teeth."

"Okay," she said, going back to pleasure the head with her mouth and tongue. "Mmm?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, her mouth full.

"Good," I groaned, stroking her hair. She began to suck, a little too hard, bobbing her head, her cheeks becoming hollows. "Bella, not so hard," I groaned from the pressure. The pressure became gentle, just enough to be pleasurable. She alternated, teasing my slit with the tip of her tongue and running her tongue around the base of the head, pumping the shaft with her hand. I was losing coherency, fast, so quickly, I came in her mouth. "God, Bella, I'm sorry," I said, softly, reaching for the box of tissues I kept by the bed. I handed her one. She took it and spit out my come and wiped her tongue off.

"Am I getting better?" she asked, like an eager schoolgirl working on a class project.

"Yes," I said. "You just have to watch the teeth… and don't suck so hard."

"Sorry, I just got over eager," she said, moving back up my hips.

"Don't be sorry," I said, running my hands over her waist, gripping her hips so that her torso was exposed from under the white dress shirt. I had to do something nice but not overboard for Angela and Alice. But right now, Bella was my focus. "Why don't you let me try that on you?"

"Oh no, that's gross!" she cried.

"It's really not," I promised as she laid down beside me. She had kissed me after I had licked her fingers she had just pleasured herself with. "Let me try… just this once?"

"No."

"You'll like it."

She thought about it for a moment. "Okay, just this once, let's try it. And if I don't like it, you can't do it, again."

"No pressure," I muttered, moving down the bed between her legs.

"Yeah, no pressure," she said, rolling her eyes.

BPOV

I laid down on the bed, my back completely flat, my legs bent. I covered myself with Edward's shirt, but he pulled it open at my stomach. Ugh, my stomach. "Calm down," he said, playing with the area between my belly button and my pelvis. He pressed his lips lightly down them but skipped my pubic area and kissed my knee. I was so glad I had a wax job. "You're too tense. Close your eyes. Just feel."

Closing my eyes, I inhaled, and felt his breath on my inner thigh, hoping he wouldn't see my cellulite in the dark. He loved me, but I doubted his love for me. I was just waiting for him to run screaming. I shivered as I felt his kisses going up my inner thigh.

"Oh Bella," he murmured, his words muffled as he reached my core. His mouth was so hot. Ungh! "Bellaaaa," he groaned, I could feel his words... what as odd sensation! I groaned back. He began licking vigorously, his tongue slightly rougher than his lips against my lips.

"Oh!" I cried out. It felt like electrical shock currents. "God, god, god!"

"You like it?" he asked, kissing against my thigh.

"Yeah," I said. His tongue pressed into my core and my hips involuntarily bucked into his face. He wrapped my legs around his head.

"Were you wrong?" he asked, retracting his tongue.

"Yes," I moaned, grabbing at his scalp. He flecked his tongue over my clit, nibbled a little, and then his lips encased it and he started sucking. I didn't know I could moan so much. "Don't ever stop." He held my hips down and then started circling my nub with his tongue. He did strange patterns I couldn't predict with his tongue- long, luxurious swipes, quick flicks, long sucks. A finger slipped into me and I felt my walls clench around it involuntarily, causing me to cry out. "Edward!" I cried out, clenching my fingers into his hair as I went over the edge, sitting up in the bed.

He didn't stop, but continued as I began to come, making me come again. I screamed out in a mixture of pain and pleasure that he relieved. He slipped a second finger into me and stretched them out as my walls clenched in response. He began to pump them in and out and lick my bead with tiny swipes as my orgasm slowly ended with trembling and shaking. I finally let go of his hair with my hands and unlocked my shaking legs from around his head, and then, it happened...

He kissed his way up my body, gently, holding me when he got to eye level. His lips found mine- I could taste myself on him- they melded into mine. "God, I love you," I sighed, tucking my head into the hollow beneath his chin. He squeezed me to him.

"I love you too, Bella."

EPOV

Sometime in the night, I woke up to her shouting, "No! Stop, please!" sounding like a scared, crying child.

This wasn't uncommon. The nights that we spent together, practicing foreplay, I noticed a pattern; Bella woke, usually crying and screaming from a nightmare. I had started to test out my theory. Her nightmares usually happened the nights I brought her to climax, after she went to sleep. The nights she didn't orgasm, no nightmares.

As always, I clamped my arms around her, uttering soothing words, "Bella, Bella, shh," I said, holding her still, which wasn't so hard to do, given her diminished size. I pressed kisses to her temple and ears and forehead. She eyes darted around until she focused on me.

"Oh, Edward," she sobbed.

"It's okay," I said. "Come here. Tell me about what was going on." It was a technique my mother used on me when I was a child to get me over my nightmares.

I listened to her raspy breaths. "I don't remember," she said. I wasn't sure if she was lying to protect me or if she really couldn't remember.

"I love you, Bella," I said. "You don't have to be scared of anything with me. I'll never harm you."

I wish that were true.