Chapter 6
-----------First Girl He Has Loved------------------
They walked side by side, hand and hand, towards Lulu's apartment. Lulu is stunned at how natural it is. They don't say a word. Which is odd for them, because banter is one of the things that make them, them. Are they, a them, Lulu wonders?
Dante sees her quick glances that aren't as subtle as she thinks they are. He is torn between utter bliss and complete despair. He had chased her for months. The looks she is giving him now, the kisses they had shared, and now holding hands, it appears as if he may have caught her.
Too bad he will have to let her go. He knows it will tear him apart, but what he fears most is what it will do to her. But he believes she will be better off without him. This way she won't be ripped into a millions directions when Sonny is arrested and the truth is revealed.
They are silent in the elevator on the way up to Lulu and Maxie's apartment, hands still intertwined. When they arrive by the apartment Lulu is forced to remove her hand from Dante's so she can unlock the door. Dante feels the lost immediately. He cannot bare to think what it will be to like to lose her completely.
When Lulu opens the door to her apartment, Dante is almost paralyzed. Lulu is getting scared. She has never seen him like this. Dante is afraid to move because he doesn't want to do what he feels he has to. It is the right thing he keeps chanting in his head, trying to make himself believe it, to accept it.
"Hey, come on in and have a seat. I will get us some beers from the kitchen, and then you can tell me what is going on." Lulu heads to the kitchen as Dante forces himself to move.
Dante takes off his jacket and crumples onto the couch. He can smell her in this room, it's intoxicating. Lulu shares the apartment with Maxie, but all he smells is her. He tries to record it in his brain so he can pull it out whenever he needs to be close to her in the future.
Lulu returns with two beers in hand and sits down next to him. She sits so close that when she puts her hand down by her side it touches his. It is electric, and his natural animal instincts urge him to take her and kiss her. To take her and make her feel what he feels for her. But he knows that would make it worse. Make what he has to do harder. Although he is pretty confident that it can't be any more difficult than it already is. Saying good-bye to the first girl he has loved is going to crush him, but if that is what he has to do to protect, he can do. He has to do it.