Rogue Element10
"I...I want to help you, colonel, I do...but I, I can't leave John...I won't," Moira stammered, trying to free her hands but his grip was firm. Gentle. Calloused fingers stroking, stroking.
"He doesn't need you the way I do, Moira," Sheppard argued. "Be honest with yourself. And who knows him better than me? How he thinks, how he feels. Even you don't know what's going on beneath the surface half of the time."
"No, I don't," she admitted. "But I know he, he loves me."
"Yes, he does," Sheppard was forced to admit, much as he disliked saying it. "But he's keeping you from your work, isn't he? From your research. Even took you off Lorne's team for awhile? I know, because I did the same," he acknowledged to her surprise. "With me you can do real work, unimpeded by any overzealous concerns. Or jealousy."
"I do real work here, colonel!"
"Do you, Moira? Or are you just considered an adjunct to the biology department, to the so-called real scientists? Do they even bother to read your reports, even now? I know how it was. Hell, I was guilty of it too, before I realized how valuable you were. Are. As a scientist. As a zoologist. Not just as a lover. As a wife."
She blushed. "I...I..."
"It is the same, isn't it? Worse now you are married to him, isn't it? All the secrecy, all the pressure. So much to shoulder, isn't it, Moira? It was easier being his lover than being his wife. When was the last time you conducted research? Real research? Or were on a genuine mission? I know exactly what he's doing, what he will do because I am the same–"
"No!" she refuted, feeling tears. Yet unable to look away from him. "You're not the same! He's not like that! The others, yes, but not John! Not my John!"
"Then he will be, Moira. Trust me on this. He'll hold you so tight, so close you won't be able to breathe. You'll become subsumed by him, by your passion for him. Forgetting all else, all that makes you who you are now. A scientist, Moira!"
"No, no, no, he won't!" she argued, but his words hit home. Many observations uncannily accurate.
Sheppard scooted closer to her. His gaze boring into hers. Hands a gentle pressure on hers. "He already has, Moira. I won't be like that. Not anymore. Come with me now and you will see the difference. You and I...we share so much, more than you could ever share with him. And you will be free to do the research you wish, to do whatever you wish. As far as you need to go, Moira, and I'll be by your side. But I won't suffocate you. I won't crush you to me."
John stepped into the clearing, stared at the bizarre tableau of his darker self with Moira. Sitting close, hands clasped. His face earnest, determined. Hers sorrowful, uncertain. She appeared exhausted, miserable. Her dirty, battered appearance alarming him, but to John she was beautiful, so beautiful. He strode towards them, raised his gun. "If you're going to propose you're too damn late, colonel."
Moira gasped, whirled. Sprang to her feet, ripping her hands from Sheppard's as he almost lazily turned towards the interruption. Face unreadable. Gun at his feet. "John? John!" She ran to him, flew to him like a bird to roost. Flung herself into his arms as he swiftly lowered his gun, caught her in a one-armed embrace. Moira clung tightly, hiding her face against him. Just needing a moment, only a moment to collect herself.
John's eyes never left the colonel. "Moira," he said into her ear. "You okay?" Although he knew she was far from it. Holding onto him so tightly, for dear life. Afraid to let go. Her answer was muffled against his chest. "Nothing could stop me coming for you. Nothing," he assured, suppressing his wince of pain at her grip, her grasp. The press of her body real, solid. All that he needed. At that moment not caring whether or not she had slept with the colonel. She had run to him, had chosen him. "Time to go, colonel."
"I trust you killed Ford?" Sheppard asked, stood. Casually grabbed the gun.
"Yes." John felt Moira stiffen slightly. "Lose the gun. You don't need it."
"I won't shoot you, Johnny," Sheppard taunted.
"Sure. Just like the last time. Lose the gun. I've got the keycard so you can be on your way. Lose the gun!" he repeated, voice harsher now. Startling Moira who stepped back from him, freeing him. Staring at his cut, bruised face. "Kick it over here now!"
"John?"
"Fine." Sheppard set the gun onto the ground. Kicked it towards his other self.
John moved, Moira in tow. He grabbed the gun but winced as he bent his leg.
"John?" Moira stared, seeing his pain. Saw the stains of blood on his leg, on his arm. His awkward stance. His weariness. He appeared pale.
John glanced at her, gave her the P90. "Stay behind me, Moira. You! Move!" He gestured with his own gun.
Sheppard seemed to smirk. But he began to descend the ridge. John followed, gun trained on his darker self's back. Trying not to limp but his leg betrayed him. He grimaced, ignoring the pain. Felt Moira at his side, her arm sliding around his waist.
"John! You shouldn't have come–"
"Nothing. Nothing would have stopped me, Moira," he repeated tersely. Leaning on her a little, just a little.
"You see, Moira?" Sheppard taunted. "We're not that unlike at all, are we?"
"Shut up! Move! You've overstayed your welcome, colonel!" John stated bitterly.
"That's for Moira to decide, Johnny-boy, isn't it? What do you think, Moira?"
"Leave her alone, colonel! God, I hate arguing with myself," John muttered.
Sheppard snorted. "Me too."
Moira would have smiled if not for the direness of the situation. If not for the odd position of being caught between two men who were the same man. If not for Sheppard's seemingly genuine need of her, respect for her. If not for John's need of her, his stubborn devotion making him come after her even though he was clearly injured and only getting worse. "It's not much farther now," she soothed.
"It's your decision, Moira. Yours. Remember what I said," Sheppard noted.
"She's made her decision, colonel, so shut the hell up!" John snapped.
"Sir? The 'Gate is secure and oh...oh..." Evan stared as not one but two John Sheppards entered the area. One a prisoner of the other. "Moira! Thank God! Are you all right?"
"Evan," Sheppard smiled. "It's good to see you. Really. Good to see you alive."
"I...uh...okay, colonel. Colonel, orders?"
"Stand down, major, but keep sharp. Is the ship flyable?" John asked, stopping to rest. Gun aimed on his alternate self.
Sheppard moved to it. Touched the panel. Entered the code. The ramp lowered. He entered. Powered up the systems.
John moved, guiding Moira to Evan. He freed her. "Moira, stay close to Lorne." He glanced at her. "Are you okay?" His gaze raked over her. Assessing.
"I'm fine, John, but you..." She left the rest unsaid as Sheppard emerged from the ship. He stepped down the hatch, hands raised. Empty. "It appears fine. Just enough power to trigger the anomaly. The drive pod should hold."
"Don't care. I'll give you the keycard and you can get the hell out of here."
"Give me the keycard." Moira held out her hand.
John stared at her. "What?"
"Give me the key card, John. Please."
"No. No! Moira, you can't be serious!" John objected.
"Trust me, John. He's got a flash drive we'll need. It contains vital–"
"I don't care what it contains! There's no way in hell you are getting anywhere near him!"
"John!" she said sharply, her tone matching his. "Give me the keycard. Trust me." Their gazes held, held.
John slowly handed her the crystal sheaf. "Don't leave me, Moira," he said quietly. Emotion rising to the surface of his voice. To the intensity of his brilliant green eyes. His fingers brushing hers as she took the card.
"I won't, John. Trust me," she whispered. She walked slowly towards the colonel. Stopped.
Sheppard was eying her. "Does this mean you are coming with me, Moira?"
"No. Flash drive. Please."
He considered. Glanced past her to John and Evan. Ducked into the ship. Returned. Held it out towards her, forcing her to take a few steps closer to him. She took it, pocketed it. "It's encrypted. You'll figure out the passwords. Or he will. Moira, it's for your eyes only. And his. There are things on there, well, let's just say it could be a glimpse into your future. To avoid or bring about through chance or design I don't know."
"I understand." She held out the keycard.
He took it. Fingers sliding over hers. "Moira, you can come with me. It won't be like last time. I won't do anything unless you want me to. That way."
She shook her head. "No. I'm sorry, colonel, I truly am sorry, but I can't. My place is here. I'm sorry. I can't leave John." She stepped closer. Touched his scruffy beard, his cheek. "John. Take care of yourself, colonel. Don't give up the fight." She kissed him.
Sheppard slid the key card into his pocket. Caught her before she could leave. Kissed her deeply, passionately. Pulling her body against his. Thrusting his tongue into her mouth, prolonging the kiss.
John stared, gun raised. Had to look away for a moment as the awkwardness went on and on. And on. The sight of Moira kissing another man. Not even another man but himself. He gritted his teeth, tensing, ready to intervene in case the colonel pulled her into the ship.
Moira struggled, felt she was choking. His mouth devouring hers, his tongue all but shoving into her throat. Something else that forced her to swallow, to gasp for air, to push as he at last freed her mouth. She blushed, knowing John was watching her. She stumbled down the ramp. "Goodbye, colonel," she said, flustered. Coughing, swallowing.
"Sorry, Moira. I'll be seeing you soon. Promise." He smiled at her, glared at John. "Oh, Johnny...nice choice of rings, by the way. And say hi to Susan for me, will ya?"
Moira blushed, aghast. She froze, but turned, hastened to John. Took his arm, stared at the ship as the hatch closed. John's gun lowered as he slipped his arm around Moira, drawing her close. Realizing the taunt about the rings could mean one thing, or another. Wondered what the quip about Susan Williams was. The ship rose silently. Gracefully flew a few feet and then plunged into an emerald pool of water. A flash of light and it was gone. John licked his lips, suddenly thirsty. Raw. "Dial the 'Gate," he said hoarsely.
"Yes, sir." Evan began to head out of the clearing, relaying the orders through his radio.
"Moira." John wanted to say more but he staggered.
"John! John! Evan, help me!" she cried, trying to catch him as he fell.
"I'm fine, just...my leg's been..." Dizziness assailed him. He hit the ground hard.
"Moira! Oh shit!" Evan ran back to her. Together they helped John to his feet.
"Damn it, John! What were you thinking? You should have just sent Evan! You shouldn't have come at all!" Moira flared, angered, worried.
"I told you, Moira. Nothing," he rasped. "I'll be fine. Just a few...few...does anyone else feel the ground spinning?"
"We're almost there, sir! Ronon! A little help here!" Evan called. "I'll send my IDC."
"Moira! Are you okay?" Ronon asked, replacing Evan on John's right side.
"I'm fine. Unlike the hero here," she snapped.
"Ah, Moira, I've missed your sweet, sweet–"
"Save it, flyboy! You stupid man!"
Ronon smiled. "Serves you right, Sheppard. Josephes, take over for Moira! You don't look too good either."
"I haven't slept in three days, so no," she agreed. Reluctantly she freed John as Aaron replaced her. She touched her sore side, wincing. "I'm filthy, dirty, exhausted so yeah, not so good."
"Beautiful, Moira," John muttered. He struggled but his pounding head took him to blackness. He slumped in their arms.
"Stubborn, isn't he? Here we go. You two!" Ronon called. Two marines ran to them. The four hoisted John up off the ground and carried him to the shimmering wormhole.
Moira moved to Evan. "Will he be all right?"
"Yes, once he lets himself recover. You need to see Carson. Let's go, Moira."
She nodded. Glanced back at the now still pool. Felt a pang of regret, remorse for the colonel. The temptation to go with him still lingered. Made her feel guilty. Uncertain. But she thought of John. Coming after her, wounded. Reckless. Coming to save her. To keep her where she belonged. With him. A pang of guilt hit her, over his obstinate behavior. Putting his life in jeopardy for her. She turned, followed Evan through the Stargate.