Author Note: thank you so much to all my readers who appreciated the light smut – enjoy the rest of the party
Chapter 14 – Where's the Beef?
Jackie went back to the picnic table with the Forman's and the Steele's. They were chatting happily like they had been friends forever. Olivia touched Jackie's hand, "Darling, can you tell me again what time the pig games are starting? I need to get the children rounded up and dressed."
Jackie smiled and opened her book. "The clown will be here at 9:30 to set up the corral and the games will start at ten with the lunch at noon. The whole party should wind down around six o'clock so my cleaning crew can get ready."
Olivia looked at her husband. "Darling, will the beef be done by noon?"
Spenser and Red exchanged grins, "Hell dear, the cow's done cooked already. We'll just baste it with some more beer and serve it up. Why don't you find your sisters and have them get the kiddies ready."
Jackie finished her breakfast and excused herself. "I'll see all of you back here at 9:30."
*
"Nope -I ain't wearing it." Kelso crossed his arms over his chest and didn't budge. Jackie looked at Brooke who wouldn't stop laughing. Jackie sighed. "Michael, it's only a wig. It won't ruin your man-pretty hair."
Brooke started howling and had to leave the room. Michael Kelso put the wig on his head. "Look at me. I have a rainbow 'fro – I look like Hyde, if someone had dumped sprinkles on his head!" Michael got up and stomped around in the size 20 clown shoes which actually looked like flippers.
Jackie bit her cheek, "But Michael, all the kids are going to love you!" Brooke was still laughing from the bedroom.
Michael stood in front of the mirror. The wig was springy and danced lightly around his head. He looked like an idiot and knew it. Jackie said in a loud voice, "Brooke, look at Michael now, Betsy would find him adorable."
Brooke stumbled out of the bedroom, tears of laughter falling from her eyes. "I'm sorry honey. But you are being paid to be a rodeo clown. You have to dress up. Wait one minute." Brooke came back and put his cowboy hat on his head. "Now you look like John Travolta."
Kelso turned sideways in the mirror. 'Yeah, I can see the resemblance. But these freaking shoes are going to trip me!"
Brooke pulled Jackie into the bedroom and both women burst out in gales of giggles and laughter.
*
Eric had just finished brushing his teeth and combing his hair when there was a rapid knocking at his door. He opened it to find an angry Fez.
"And where have you been all night you…you American bastard?" Fez's eyes were narrowed and he looked around the room for evidence of any misdoings.
Eric smiled. "Hey man I had to work late." He pulled on his shoes and tied the laces.
"Oh, so your car was gone all night long? Who was she and why didn't you tell Fez you were getting lucky?"
Eric froze. "How did you know I got – wait! I did not get lucky."
Fez put his hand in the air. "You just admitted it. You had sex and did not tell Fez. What kind of friend are you?"
Eric thought about Jackie's note. "Well, I didn't really have sex. I had – I spent the whole night with a girl and that's all I'm going to say about it."
Fez wagged a finger. "Eric has a girlfriend! " Fez sing-songed. "Jackie's going to be happy for you! Maybe you'll bring her to Karaoke next Saturday! I can't wait to see what she looks like! Well, I have to pick up Rhonda. You have a good day you lucky bastard!
Crap – Fez suspected and Eric hadn't really said anything. Jackie was going to kill him!
*
Farmer Tate held up the piglet by the feet and instructed Kelso on the proper way to oil the pig. "You take this here cooking oil, and make sure you got some rubber gloves on – get those on that bench." Michael grabbed the gloves and liked the squishy noise they made. "Now, start rubbing the oil all over his little body. Careful now cuz he's gonna get real slippery!"
Tate watched Kelso grease up the piglet and set the oily creature in the sty only to grab another. "Kelso, I reckon you are a natural at this! Now I'm going to get the cow patty bingo game ready and in about 10 minutes you'll start the show."
Kelso grinned. This was fun even if he did look like Steven Hyde on a bad hair day!
*
Eric stopped by the weekend manager's office just to check in and see how well the hotel did for a Friday night. Ashley was working the front desk, "Mr. Forman, you are so romantic! All of us girls watched the video and dang – if I didn't work for you…."
Eric frowned. "What video?"
Ashley pulled a VCR tape out from under the counter. "Mr. Waters, our head of security, thought that if we were going to install a mechanical bull in the Hall, then there was a potential for accidents and hence ensuing lawsuits. He put in a camera and recorded the whole show."
Ashley looked around to make sure the lobby was clear before sliding the tape in the machine. "There's no audio but maybe you can tell me what the music was?"
Eric was extremely uncomfortable – he had no idea that there was a camera in the Diamond Hall although it was a good security measure.
The tape started playing and the first of the cowboys jumped on. "The music was The Yellow Rose of Texas. If they made it to the chorus, they got a second ride." Ashley was silent until Eric saw Jackie saunter over to the bull in those hot chaps that made her ass look like a heart.
"Miss Burkhart looks very pretty. Well, this entire ride is very…." She cleared her throat, "Um, it's very hot. What song is she riding to? It's a lot slower than the guys ride."
Eric's stomach was clenching as he watched that sexy ride for a second time. As Jackie laid back on the saddle, he could see the image of himself jumping over the barricade to kiss her. Though there was no sound, it was extremely explicit and his heart started pounding in his chest as he remembered every second of it.
"Mr. Forman, what was the song?" she asked again.
"Er, it was that Boz Skaggs song, Look What You've Done to Me or something like that." He heard Ashley sigh as he watched himself picking Jackie up in his arms to carry her away.
"I want to be an Event Coordinator." Ashley sighed.
Eric ejected the tape. "Ashley, how many copies are there of this tape?"
"Just the one – Mr. Waters gave it to me to lock in the safe. I swear only us girls have seen it."
Eric held the tape in his hands. "Okay, since no one got hurt and we didn't warn anyone that we were taping the ride, I'm keeping this. But from now on, if we have to install a camera, make sure Waters informs the guests that we are recording them. We don't want anyone suing us for harassment."
Ashley winked – she knew he wanted to the tape for himself but he was a good boss so she wouldn't make an issue of it. "I see you have an Event Staff badge. If you want me to secure the tape, you'll just make it for the pig games."
Eric grinned. "Thanks Ash, I'll remember this during your Performance Review next month!"
*
Jackie and Brooke were sitting on a couple of stools that surrounded the perimeter of the pig corral. Michael Kelso stood in the center balancing on a barrel with his big floppy clown shoes hanging over the sides. Farmer Tate had foolishly given him a microphone and Kelso at this moment, loved the attention.
Eric scanned the back lawn and grinned when he found his best friend dressed in oversized pants and suspenders, his face painted in clown colors and his perfect hair covered in a rainbow Afro. Jackie was too funny with this costume.
He saw his folks sitting at a picnic table with the oil baron and his wife. "Hey mom – dad, are you enjoying yourself?"
Red smiled at the sight of his successful son. "Sit with us Eric - Kelso's about to make a dumbass of himself."
"Red, be nice. He's a clown." Kitty admonished her husband
"Oh, he's a clown all right!" Red exclaimed. Eric laughed and sat on the bench next to his mother.
*
"Little ladies and little boys…." Kelso greeted the children. "I am Kelso the Klown and in the pen behind me I have six little greasy oily piglets." A collective "yay" went up from the eager boys and girls.
"When I give the signal, ya'll get to jump in and grab you a pig. The first one that gets a pig and carries it to my barrel here and drops it in wins…." Michael pulled out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket.
"Gets to win… a giant tub of fried pork rinds? What kind of prize is that?" The children were jumping up and down in excitement.
He figured Texas kids liked that kind of prize and shrugged his shoulders. He pointed to Farmer Tate to open the chute and suddenly six squealing oinking little pigs came charging out at breakneck speed towards the barrel. Kelso's legs and huge feet flew up in the air and he landed in the synthetic mud with a big splat!
Three of the pigs ran over his chest and left little piggy footprints in their wake. The children, excited to see the action started screaming with glee and stampeded into the corral as fast as their short legs could carry them.
Eric watched as Kelso tried to get up with those huge shoes only to get knocked back down by a little girl whose pig slipped out of her hands and landed on Kelso's back. Within five minutes, every child in the corral was covered in mud and the pigs were still squealing. Eric didn't see it but heard the all too familiar, "Ow! My eye!" Red was laughing his ass off and the Steele's were thoroughly enjoying the Kelso the Klown antics.
Failing to get up off the ground, Kelso sought refuge in the interior of the barrel. "Smells woody" he said to no one but himself. That was a hilarious mistake. The children saw the clown in the barrel and began to roll Kelso in circles around the corral. After an exhausting ten minutes, one little boy managed to finally drop a muddy, greasy little piglet into the barrel while Michael lay curled up in one giant nauseous lump.
*
The piglets were herded back to the sty and Brooke was hosing the mud off of Michael's backside. He had hurled earlier and was starting to feel better. Jackie came by, careful to avoid the mud, "Michael, you were brilliant! The Steele's enjoyed you so much you may have a permanent job!"
He looked up, "Ya think?" Brooke straightened his wig. "We'll discuss the careers decisions later." Right then a very tall, svelte woman with alligator boots strode over. In a bold move, she lifted Kelso's chin and kissed his cheek slipping a $100 bill in his hand. "I want to thank ya'll for giving my baby such a good time…Sugar."
Brooke nearly hissed until she saw the tip the woman left. Behind the blonde a raven haired beauty was waiting. Her Texas accent conveyed the same words as the previous woman and Michael now had $200 bucks. Brooke saw the line and just stepped back and let Michael get his $100 kisses.
After the last woman, Brooke opened Michael's hand and exclaimed, "Damn, that's more than Jackie paid you!" Kelso looked at Jackie and smirked, "You just didn't know how talented I was!
*
The Chuck Wagon triangle sounded and all 300 family members and guests lined up for their piece of the cow. Red Forman was at the grill with Spencer doling out ribs or steaks and he was thoroughly enjoying himself.
Jackie found an empty table out of the way of the party and began making her end of party notes and reminders for some of her hired crew. She pulled her calculator out of her handbag and started totaling her numbers and exhaled loudly at what her commission would be. This could just possibly be the last party she had to plan for the rest of the year if she wanted! The amount of her fee was mind boggling!
Now it looked like she could actually attend the Wedding Consultants convention after all and stay in a nicer hotel. Hell, she could finally fly first class on her own dime! Then there was that Jeweler's auction in New York. Wow, Jackie Burkhart has accomplished her best goal and the rest of the year was gravy!
*
Olivia Spencer sought out Jackie after the meal. "Are you hiding over here darling?" Jackie looked up. "No, I'm just organizing my paperwork. I have the cleaning crews on standby and still have to contact the truck to come pick up the piglets."
Olivia sat on the bench opposite Jackie. "I must tell you that this has been the best catered affair Spencer and I have attended. If you are not against working out of Wisconsin, I have a terrible amount of girlfriends that would love to have you organize an event for them."
"Thank you Olivia. I think I might take a couple of week's vacation. This was a big party and I thank you so much for choosing me to host your event. If you are ever in the Kenosha area again and need something, please call me."
Olivia opened her leather clutch and handed an envelope to Jackie. "Darling, don't open this now, it's just a little something special from me. You've helped restore my family and I appreciate it so much." The older woman stood up and touched Jackie on the cheek. "If I had a daughter, I wish she could be just like you."
Jackie gulped and as Olivia turned to walk away Jackie could feel the threat of tears. She was truly touched by Olivia Spencer's appreciation and the compliment. She put the envelope in her day planner and headed to the front desk to check out of her room and settle the bill.
*