FCL64: I'm bored.
Kasumi: And that results in what you call a 'bonus chapter' how?
FCL64: I don't feel like writing the real chapter. I want to kill Mizuko again.
Kasumi: So there will be death and destruction in this chapter?
FCL64: Yes.
Kasumi: Isn't there death and destruction in the normal story?
FCL64: Yes.
Kiyoshi: Then why is this a bonus chapter and not part of the actual story?
FCL64: Because for the storyline the real next chapter has no death or destruction. Well, at least not at the beginning, which is what I need to write next.
Takeshi: I see.
Kasumi: Kiyoshi, Takeshi, Akiko, I think it might be safest for us to run away right about now.
Akiko: Why?
Kasumi: The author is getting a little violent.
FCL64: It's okay. My friend and I discussed the possibility of a bonus chapter last night. None of you are involved. The only people involved are Mizuko, Mindy, and Shikamaru.
Other Four: Who?
FCL64:(holding up her right index finger) Mizuko, who you all have already met; Mindy, my friend's incredibly annoying character from a short story for English (to be quite honest, I was never sure if she was the antagonist or the protagonist); and Shikamaru, because my best friend has a strange obsession with him.
Kasumi: So by Shikamaru, you mean the Shikamaru from Naruto?
FCL64: Pretty much.
Kasumi: Oh, God. This cannot be safe.
FCL64: Glad you think that. Sounds kind of like when I hang out with my best friends.
Shikamaru: It's such a pain to be here.
FCL64: OMP! You actually came! I didn't think you would bother!
Everyone else:OMP?
FCL64: What the legs! You guys have never heard of OMP before?! What is wrong with you people! You live inside my head and you don't know what OMP means!
Kiyoshi: What the… legs? What does it mean? And what are you even talking about?
FCL64: Oh my patio!
Kiyoshi: Oh my… patio?
FCL64: Yep! :) It's the first derivative of heck!
Kiyoshi: Okay… moving along…
FCL64: Where are Mizuko and Mindy? They are late!
Mizuko: I'm here. Not like I had a choicssse.
FCL64: Then where's Mindy?
Mindy: I'm, like, right here.
FCL64: Yay! Now we can get on with the death and destruction!
Mindy: Why are you, like, so happy about something, like, like death and, like, destruction?
FCL64: People who annoy me are involved. And Shikamaru.
Shikamaru: Do I have to? This is just stupid.
FCL64: Well, I guess you don't have to. But after a few minutes you'll probably want to.
Shikamaru: Right.
FCL64: Drumroll please!
(silence)
FCL64: I said DRUMROLL!
(drum music fills the background)
Kasumi: Where did that come from?
FCL64: (pointing to herself) Author, remember?
(drumroll continues, filling the awkward silence)
FCL64: Da moose, da moose
Kasumi: What?
FCL64: This is a repeat after me song!
Everyone: This is a repeat after me song!
FCL64: YAY!
Everyone: YAY!
FCL64: Da moose, da moose
Everyone:Da moose, da moose
FCL64: Swimming in ze water
Everyone: Swimming in ze water
FCL64: Eating up his supper
Everyone: Eating up his supper
Akiko: This is stupid.
Shikamaru: I agree.
FCL64: You guys aren't nice.
(drumroll starts up again)
FCL64: Okay, here is a giant glass box.
(giant glass box appears. FCL64 shoves Mizuko and Mindy into it, and slams the door shut.)
Everyone else:?
FCL64: Death and destruction?
Everyone: OML.
(Inside the box)
Mindy: You're, like, really pretty. But you could, like, do so much more with your, like, hair. I think that cliques are, like, important. You need to, like, maintain the status quo or else the world will, like, implode, or something. Like, what group do you, like, belong to?
(Outside the box, as Mindy keeps talking)
FCL64: My thoughts on this were that Mindy might talk Mizuko to death.
Shikamaru: That is entirely possible.
(Inside the box)
(As Mindy keeps talking, Mizuko transforms into a giant snake and bites her)
Mindy: Hey! That, like, hurt. Like, a lot. That was so, like, not nice! You really need some, like, counseling or, like, something. You can't just, like, go around, like, biting people all the time. People, like, won't like you.
Mizuko: How are you not dead?
Mindy: You are so, like, mean! I don't, like, like you anymore!
Mizuko: Doesss that mean you'll ssstop talking to me?
(Outside the box)
Kasumi: What happened to death and destruction? And where did Shikamaru go?
FCL64: I think Shikamaru went to get the death and destruction.
Everyone: What are you even talking about?
(Shikamaru reappears and walks into the glass box. He places something on the ground between Mindy and Mizuko. He walks back out and shuts the door. Mizuko tries to open the door but it is locked.)
(Inside the box)
(Mindy continues, like, talking.)
KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!
animegrlsteph:If that was Mizuko, what was it I killed yesterday? And if that was Mizuko, why did Shikamaru get to kill her? Why, why, why, why, why?
Pirate: It's cause Shikamaru is way cooler than you.
animegrlsteph:What?!
(animegrlsteph runs at Pirate. Pirate easily dodges and employs her powers of flight to fly away from animegrlsteph and out of her reach)
FCL64: (ignoring animegrlsteph and Pirate) Good thing that was explosion-proof glass.
Kasumi: Explosion-proof? As you would say, what the legs?
(glass box then implodes)
Kiyoshi: What is it with you and implosions?
FCL64: Well… you always see things explode. Nothing ever implodes. Kind of like how everyone knows what a platypus is, but almost no one has ever heard of an echidna.
Kiyoshi: What?
Takeshi: Nice. Kiyoshi is the smartest of us all and you managed to confuse him.
FCL64: How is it that you live in my head but don't understand a word I say? It's kind of like when my best friend starts talking about computers.
Kiyoshi: It's because your comparisons make no sense!
Kasumi: How do you intend to clean this room up before your parents get home?
FCL64: Hmmm…
(FCL64 snaps her fingers and all the death and destruction disappears)
FCL64: Like that.
Kiyoshi: I see.
Takeshi: I tripped over air this morning…
FCL64: (smacks her own forehead, hard) Owww… I lose more brain cells that way…
Takeshi: By tripping over air?
FCL64: Well, I did do that the other day. I tripped over air and almost landed in a rosebush. But I meant by smacking myself on the forehead.
(the sound of crickets fills the background)
FCL64: (singing) Secret tunnel, secret tunnel, secret tunnel, secret tunnel! Don't let the cave-in get you down! Don't let the falling rocks turn your smile into a frown! Don't let the cave-in get you down! Sokka! Even if you're lost you can't lose your love because it's in your heart! And DIIIIEEEEE!
Everyone else:WHAT THE LEGS???!!!
FCL64: My friend and I watched Avatar.
Kasumi: I DON'T want to know.
FCL64: Why not? Don't you love me?
Kasumi: Uhhh…
FCL64:(pouting) I really need to get a life…
Kasumi: But you have us for friends! It's not like your life could get any more exciting!
FCL64: Okay, maybe I should clarify. I need to get a life that exists outside of my mind. And I need to hang out with people who exist in a place OTHER than my imagination. As in, people who can be seen by people other than myself.
Kasumi: But don't you love us?
FCL64: (tackling Kasumi and hugging her) Of course I love you guys! But I tried to give Zuko a hug the other day, because he was sad.
Kiyoshi: Your point? You just gave Kasumi a hug.
FCL64: But that was the Kasumi in my head. If I had tried to give the Zuko in my head a hug, it wouldn't have been a problem. But I tried to give the Zuko on the tv a hug.
Kiyoshi: Oh. I can see how that would be a problem. What happened?
FCL64: The tv shocked my face.
(Everyone else snorts, trying not to laugh)
Kasumi: Next thing we know, you'll be walking into windows like those windex commercials.
FCL64:(pouting) I've done that before too.
(The others almost die laughing)
FCL64: Okay, you can stop now. Hiei, could you help me with this?
Hiei: No.
FCL64: Fine. Kurama?
Kurama:(trying not to laugh at the idea of FCL64 walking into a window) Sure. Everyone! Your attention, please.
(Everyone gets quiet)
FCL64: Thank you. Although, I do like how you listen to Kurama and not me, even though I'M the author. Now it's time for you all to go back into the story.
Kiyoshi: I don't know if you remember or not, but this was the story.
FCL64: Oh, yeah. Well, it's time for you all to go back into the story that has a storyline.
Akiko: Thank goodness.
Shikamaru: Do I have to?
FCL64: You're not even in the real story!
Shikamaru: Good.
Everyone else:Thank goodness this is over!
(FCL64 snaps her fingers and they all disappear, with the exceptions of animegrlsteph and Pirate. animegrlsteph is still attempting to catch Pirate, who is still flying)
FCL64: I think you guys should probably go home now.
Pirate: Okay!
(she flies out the window, leaving animegrlsteph to walk home)