COMING TO TEAMS
Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
She sat in the locker room alone the tears stopped about an hour ago but she still couldn't believe that he was gone and in just a few short hours she would be standing in her dress uniform at his funeral paying her respects and no one would know that if it was not for her he would be alive and all of this wouldn't be happening. With that though the tears started again.
"Sam you in here" Came Janet voice
"Yep, be out in a minute" she called back as she franticly tries to dry her tears as Janet enters the locker room.
"Oh Sam how long have you been in here crying?"
"I don't know Janet, I just can't stop" At that moment Janet pulled her in a friendly hug.
"It going to be ok Sam" she whispered in her ear. At that Sam pulled away "NO! Janet it not going to be ok he's gone" tears where streaming down her face but she made no attempt to stop them "nothing ever going to be ok ever" and on that note she ran from the room.
She ran it her offices "I can't do this" she reach in to her desk drew and found here salvation.
Speaking in to the atmosphere
No one here and I fall in to myself
This truth drives me in to madness
I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away
Gate Room 5 minutes later
Gen. Hammond waited at the base of the ramp as Jacob step thought the event heron and slowly walk towards him.
"George" he address his old friend as he look around "Where Sam" he asked in a very concerned voice. "I'm not sure she was made aware of your arrival"
As the gen. spoke these words Janet enter though the large metal door.
"Dr have you seen Major Carter?"
"I was hoping she was here, sir"
"Well maybe she in the briefing room" the Gen. said quickly as he begin to walk towards the large metal door. Jacob and Janet followed.
They enter the briefing room to find Daniel Jackson and Teal'c but no Sam. The Gen. Janet and exchange a glance and made the way to the table Jacob reluctantly followed them. The Gen took his set "I'm sure major carter will join us soon, lets begin sell we"
Everyone took there seats and they begin to tell Jacob of there last mission.
Don't turn away
Don't give in to the pain
Don't try to hide
Top side (SGC)
In the shade of a large tree sat the lone person and in her hand a 9mm block pistol. In the chamber I hollow point billet all she would need to end her life to stop the guilt that followed her that ghost of thing not said not done.
my fault I should have stayed Why didn't I tell him, why did we not try to be…She closed her eyes so tired. She never slept any more.
Though they're screaming your name
Don't close you eyes
God know what lies behind them
Don't turn out the lights
Never sleep never die
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Flashback
"Carter go" she keeps coming firing as she goes at the group of jaffa coming directly at Jack
"That an order major" he stressed the last word. As she turns he slammed a new clip in to his P90 and begins firing again.
End flashback
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"Sam are you up here?" came her father voice breaking her from that moment.
I should do it now"Sam… there you are"
She could here him come up behind her his feet crashing the dry levers. She looked and her gun then looks around
"Sam are you o.k.?" he said as he was almost close enough to see her gun. Sam move quickly placed the gun under the log she was sitting on.
"I'm fine dad" she turns to face him. Forcing a smile
"You miss my arrival and the briefing"
"I forgot I'm sorry I should go to gen. Hammond" she went to stand
"No you just had us worried" he sat down on the other end of the log.
Please don't look down Don't see my gun oh god please Please god"Sam I'm sorry about Jack he was a good man" as he spoke her eyes closed tight as if willing the words away.
let me die"I have to go we'll talk later" she strode quickly walk away without anther word.
Jacob strode up and paced around the log lost in his thoughts
When he kicked at the log it rolled over revelling its secret… a 9mm. He bent down and picked it up.
This hasn't been here long"He opens the clip
Empty that strange he sniff it Hasn't been fired he check the chamber he pulled out the billet and examined it. Hollow point at that all the pieces fell in to place."Oh god Sam" he begin to walk back to the base wheal he tried to work out what to do about his daughter.
The Cafeteria
"I've been trying to work out what to say but…" Daniel trailed off as he looked at Teal'c "Speak what is in your heart Daniel"
"It so hard, I can't believe he gone it only been four weeks" Teal'c gave his well known eyebrow rise
"Perhaps if you accept that O'Neill is gone then you will find it easier to write" Teal'c concluded.
"Maybe you should write… maybe you should just stand up and speak off the top of you head and from you heart" Janet weighed in to the conversation.
"What have you got so far?" she continued
"Jack was my friend…And a great officer whom without I would not be here to day… That it. I don't know" Daniel pulled his glasses off and cleaned them.
"That sound good" Janet commented.
"Perhaps you could tell of the crustiness that allow you to become friends"
"Yeah"
"I'm going to get Cassy and I see you there" came Janet voice as got up and left them
"I ganna go to you know… Get ready too" Daniel strode and left behind Janet.
Teal'c was left again ponder the strange ritual of funeral on earth.
A Church in Colorado springs.
She enter the car park of the church to see a crowed of people most in military uniforms. Milling around the entrance
Why did I come?A little voice answers because he was your friend because he loves you and you love him too.
She gets out and makes her way to the entrance she enters to see a picture of Jack in dress blues and a stand at the front and a closed red wood casket next to it.
I'm frightened by what I see
But some how I know there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be blinded by tears
I can stop the pain if I will it all away
She slid into a seat in the last row she looked down at her uniform it feet so empty and useless the metals all of it was useless it made her so angry
I shouldn't be here I don't desire to be here"Sam" yells cassy as she came in and ran to her. And for the second time in as many hours she forced a smile for her.
"Hi Cass" Cassy is warring black like the rest of the civilians attending the service.
"Where your mum?" Sam asked as she search the steadily increasing crowed entering the church.
"She talking with Jacob"
"Oh, let go sit down" they both went to the third row and sat. A few moments later Janet and Jacob came up and sat beside Cassy Jacob leaned forward and spoke
"Sam I need to talk to you after, OK" Just then the mister appeared behind the podium signalling everyone to take there seats Daniel and teal's came and sat next to Jacob.
As the servers continued people who had know Jack got up and toll of when they know him and how they will remember him. Soon it was Daniel's turn.
"Jack O'Neill what Can I Say he was one of the best and finest men I ever had the privilege of knowing, He was my friend" Daniel stop as he tried to keep his voice steady.
"He saved so many lives and I know I wonted be here if not for him he saved my life. He may not have understood all the things I said when we talked but I feel he loved us like a family and we love him. But he died doing what he loved defending his friend and his county. I know I will miss him and no one will fill the space he has left in our lives and our hearts" Daniel conclude and then he let the tears go he let the roll down his checks and made no attempt to stop them. Janet step out of he seat and went to him to comfort him and she help him down. For Sam most of the Severs was a blank she steered at the cross on the wall behind the coffin.
Cemetery
The funeral had just ended Sam was standing looking down at the coffin as the dirt was place over it. Her father came up behind her.
"Sam we need to talk"
"Not now Dad" her voice was strained with emotion
"Sam please talk to me, tell me how you feel?"
"I'm feel fine Dad," she did not meet his eyes as she turned around
"I Have to get back to work" she went to walk past him then her father grabbed her arm
"Sam I found your gun" he said in a low voice. He hopes that confounding her would help.
Oh godHer eyes went wide
"Sam please" he begged
"I know you and Jack were close"
"Dad I don't need this"
"Sam you do. What would have happen if if I hadn't found you up there" he asked almost a fade of here answer
"I don't know… And I don't care and stop pretending you do" she pulled her arm from his grip he tried to grab her and but she pulled way more.
"GO AWAY I'M FINE AND EVEN IF I'M NOT YOU DON'T CARE SO WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO THE TOK'RA WERE YOU BELONG AND LEVER ME ALONE"
And at that she almost ran away.
Don't turn away
Don't give in to the pain
Don't try to hide
Though they're screaming your name
"Jacob what was that about?" George Hammond asked as he approached him.
"I'm worried about her George she… just doesn't seemed to be taking it very well"
"I'm sure she'll get thought it she a strong women"
should I tell him about the gun"I think she should talk to someone"
"She has had her appointment with Dr McKenzie and although he did not delver a glowing report he believe her to be grieving but ok to continue working"
"Well I don't George I think she need time off and time to learn to cope with this" They begin to walk towards the car park
"I know you concerned but if she was not coping I will give her time off if she asks for it. You know I would"
I have to tell him so he can help her so he can keep an eye on her I just hope it wont destroy her career"George this has to stay between you and me" he waited for George to nod
"I think Sam might be suicidal" he saw George open his mouth to protest but Jacob stop him "wait George here me out I found Sam out side after the briefing she was sitting on a log we had a talk and after she left I found a gun under the log it had one built in it a hollow point in the camber" Hammond look to shock to talk.
How could I have missed the signs in the past four weeks he thought"Are you sure it wasn't an old gun that was left up there"
"It was very well taken care of and it did not look like it had been there long"
"God Jacob are you sure I mean…" he could not continue the thought it is to dorting.
"I know that why we need to keep this on a need to know bases I've had a word to Janet without naming name I think she got my drift… I hope she can help us make Sam see séance"
Sam's House (later that night)
Knock Knock
Go Away If I ignore it they go awayKnock Knock
She could hare the hushed voices on the other side of the door. Then a key enter the lock and the door swung open and in walk Jacob, Janet, Daniel, Teal'c and Gen. Hammond. The sight that greeted them was not what they had expected the house was littered with clothes and empty bottles and next to the door two small black bags. Then Sam enter the hall from the Kitchen with a bottle of Jim bean in her hand.
"Sam what going on?" her father asked
"I'm leaving isn't obverse" she said as she took anther swig of jimmy.
"Sam maybe we should sit down and talk about it?" came Janet voice from the back of the group.
"Talk! What is there to talk about?"
"Well first of all. You leaving" Came Daniel voice as he step forward the talk.
"Samantha your drunk you overly aren't thinking straight" he father said in a very commanding tone as he step in to the hallway. The rest of the group follow as Jacob grab Sam's arm and started to lead her to the living room.
"Let go I…I don't need you to…"She stable over her word as they enter the living room and her father lowered her in to an armchair.
"Sam you're going to listen to me and listen good. We are here because were worried about you and we care about you …"
"You Care well I don't so go away"
"Sam I Know your upset about Col. O'Neill we all are but that no resin to throw you life away" Came Janet cram voice
"You don't understand you could never understand"
"Sam I Know you and Jack were close it was no secret but please he wouldn't what you to do this to your self" Daniel added
Sam Closed her eyes and massage her temples
"You don't understand"
"Make us understand Sam" her Father pleaded
A Memory flashes in her mind
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Flashback
Jack ejects the clip from his P90 just as a jaffa came at him he grab at his side arm and fire it at the jaffa. The jaffa fell on top of him as he pushed him off,
Oh God JackShe move towards him
"Carter go" she keeps coming firing as she goes at the group of jaffa coming directly at Jack
"That an order major" he stressed the last word. As he slammed a new clip in to his P90 and begin firing again. she look over her shoulder This time Jack has decided to stand and run. She is almost at the gate. Then she disappeared thought it.
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"I LEFT HIM BEHIND I COULD SEE HE WAS IN TROUBLE AND I LEFT HIM THEIR…I KILLED HIM"
"My God Sam you didn't kill him the Gould did" Janet Said as she moved over to comfort and now crying Sam
"Don't touch me lever me alone" Sam Pulled away
"Major I don't know what to say but I sure you did what was right" the gen. added
"I'm going to bed" Sam said as she got up and walk from the room
She fell in to bed to sleep knowing she would see him their and they would be together there
Don't Close your Eyes
God knows what lies behind them
Don't turn out the light
Never sleep never die
Sam Living Room
The group sat and talk about everything but what they wanted to for a time then Janet spoke.
"No wonder Sam upset she think she left him behind" Janet Stated
"But she would never do that" answered Daniel
Jacob Got up and left the room.
As the group continue to Talk
Sam Room
Jacob
Jacob Strode at the foot of the bed and watched his daughter sleep
She look like an angel when she sleep Just like her mother"I love you Sam" he spoke in to the room
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Sam
I Coming JackShe can see him bathed in light
Wait Jack I'm hereShe can feel the life draining out of her. At that she brakes into a run.
He turns around
He similes
Death Before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
Jacob
He sits on the end of the bed the he see it a small white bottle laying next to the bed. He looks at Sam
Oh god no! Please god"JANET JANET Sam NO Sam"
She beckons me shell I give in
Janet
Janet runs into the room to see Jacob Shaking Sam
"Come back Sam Please Sam" tears rolling down his face
Sam
JackHe reaches out to her and he embraces her with a hug and they kiss.
How I've waited for this moment "I love You Jack"Jack
"I love you Sam"
Upon my end shell I begin
Forsaken all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end
TBC in Places Beyond Ours.
Lyrics From
Evanescence – Whisper
From Fallen