Author Note: Insecurities and building trust – a fluffy little chapter
Chapter 30 – Dream Interpretation
"Eric, we have to talk. It's been months and I'm so unhappy I could scream."
Eric reached out to touch her arm but she recoiled from his touch. "Don't." she said. "Just. Don't." She got up from the couch and went to stand in front of the window, her arms crossed over her chest.
"I love you." He said weakly.
"No you don't - you only think you do, because that's all you ever wanted. We thought this was our dream but it's my own personal hell. It's become a nightmare." She turned back around, her red hair swinging. "I wanted to got to college and be something. My dad wanted me to be something - but what am I now? Some part time housewife and quasi-editor for a rinky-dink paper here in Point Place?" She fisted her hands, "And we live NEXT DOOR to your parents. God, I hate this!"
"Donna, we always wanted to be married and have a family – we've talked about this. I'm looking for a better job and we can reapply for student loans…"
"It's too late Eric; I've already filed the paperwork already. I want a divorce."
Eric woke up with a start. It was only two in the morning but he was having the divorce dream again. He wiped his face with the palms of his shaky hands – why did he have this recurring dream every week? His life was good – he was finally happy – he had a future – why was he being haunted by Donna?
*
"Honey, you know you can always come home. That's what mom's are for. Now have a brownie and tell me what's bothering you."
Eric looked at his mom in the kitchen lights. Kitty Forman was a few years older, but despite the extra wrinkles around her eyes, she never looked happier. She bounced around the kitchen and her energy was contagious. There were new pictures on the counter of her and Red at some of the places they had visited – most likely the reason for the added happiness.
Eric smiled then told his mom about the bloody bunny dreams and the nightmare when Donna had the catalogs and razor knife. He finished the story with his recurring dream of the day Donna didn't love him anymore.
He brushed a hand through his sandy brown hair. "Mom, they don't make a lot of sense but I keep having them over and over."
Kitty smiled tenderly. "Son, I'm a nurse, not a psychiatrist but I can tell you that some of the things you are dreaming about are really symbols of something else. But first let me ask, are you and Jackie having any problems?"
"What? No – this is the best relationship I've ever been in."
"Honey, it's only the second relationship you've ever been in. You aren't experienced in relationships. Let's start with the bunny dream. What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see bunnies?"
"They are cute and cuddly and friendly creatures."
Kitty nodded her head, "Now when was the first time you thought about bunnies or rabbits."
Eric thought back to way earlier in the year when Jackie was there in Point Place with his mom. She had smiled at his Dad and said. "We got Mrs. Forman some tulips and ground cover plants that will help get rid of the bunnies." Then Red said, "So I can't shoot rabbits anymore?"
Kitty got excited, "I know what that dream was about! The bunnies are symbolic for me or Jackie; you were infatuated with her then so if you dreamt about Donna digging up my garden and we're protecting the bunnies, you are worried that Donna is going to hurt something important – like my carrots."
"Or like the feelings I was having for Jackie back then." He said, a dawning realization coming to his mind.
Kitty clapped her hands. "Very good Eric – now that catalog dream where she's cutting her face out of family pictures… tell me what that means to you."
"I think that she never really wanted to get married and the sacrifice was our elopement. The pigs were symbolic because that was around the same time as Jackie's cowboy party. Kelso was going to be a clown and we were talking about piglets. I'm worried that I could never be happy."
"Now I'm sorry that Donna didn't like living next door to us and that you had to dream about that, but honey, she never wanted to stay here. It's true you wanted to marry her since you were eight years old, but the neighbor girl is not necessarily the girl that makes you happy. Just think of how much more painful this would be if you had children."
"You're right mom. My marriage ended and I need to quit dwelling on what I did wrong – the divorce was the right thing to do. I guess Kelso getting married in November brought back some anxieties I hadn't dealt with yet."
Kitty pushed another brownie across the table. "If you still have these dreams, I know a nice therapist that you can talk with. I'm sure you don't want to tell your old mom everything!"
Eric grinned – Kitty Forman was a lot smarter than many people gave her credit for. "Hey mom, what do you think about Jackie?" Kitty sat down in her chair, she knew this question was a long time in coming. "Honey, you know that your dad and I love Jackie right?"
"Yeah, I started thinking she was becoming your favorite."
Kitty teased. "Well, she is. I'm joking. Out of all your friends, she is the one we are closer to. Jackie is… like a beautiful kite flying through the air on a breezy day. What Jackie needs is someone to keep her tethered to the earth so she can fly and be pretty for everyone. Honey, you need someone like Jackie in your life, someone that can make you smile…just like that."
Kitty tousled her son's hair. "She needs someone to hold the strings of her kite so she doesn't fly away. Do you know what I mean?"
Eric nodded. "Yeah, Donna wasn't much into being carefree and fun as she was with being successful."
"Yet, Jackie is successful and fun and carefree. She's learned to balance her personal life with her business life. I think you are good for her. And she's been good for this family." Kitty kissed the top of Eric's head and put her cup and saucer in the sink. "Why don't you bring her around for dinner one of these nights?"
Eric smile. "I think she'd like that."
*
Jackie stood at the edge of the pool. This had to be the hottest July day in history. She tightened the straps of the lifejacket and hung her toes over the empty space between safety and the water. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. It's only three feet Jackie. You can stand near the edge. Be brave. She put one foot out ready to step in only to take three steps back.
Without warning, Eric scooped her up off her feet and she screamed. "Don't scare me like that!" She swatted his arms. "I almost had a heart attack!" she scolded.
Eric grinned. "I've been watching you for the last 10 minutes. You could always sit on the edge to get your feet wet." He dropped a kiss on her lips and she wrapped her arms around his neck despite the bulky life jacket. "I'm trying to conquer my fear plus Fez is at Rhonda's all day."
Eric dropped her to her feet. He had quickly changed into swim trunks when he saw her by the pool. "Tell you what, I'm going to help you. " He jumped in and fortunately for him, the water only came up to his waist. He looked up and she still looked scared. Cute but scared and it endeared her to him even more.
"Okay, this water is only three feet deep. You are wearing a life guard approved jacket so you won't sink. I want you to take five steps back then run and jump so I can catch you."
"You promise you'll catch me?" She asked with some trepidation.
"I promise. Five steps back and if I miss, I'll do the chicken dance okay?"
Jackie giggled but walked backwards from the edge of the pool. She closed her eyes and ran and the second both her feet left the edge of the pool she screamed and a half second later she landed in Eric's arms. She sighed, "I did it."
"Missy, you actually have to jump in the water to say you did it. Okay, I'm lowering your feet in the water, it's a bit cold." Jackie held on to his neck as he let go of her legs and she was semi-standing and sort of floating in the water. "It's not that cold." She said as her teeth chattered. Eric laughed, "If you say so – now climb out and this time run to me but I'm not catching you. I'm just going to stop you from going in head first."
She didn't know if that was the best idea. Hanging on to his neck was just fine. Eric disentangled her death grip. "Come on, you can do this." She hoisted her self out and glared at him. "Fine, I can run but you better do what you said you're gonna do!"
When Jackie wasn't looking, Eric actually backed up a few feet so her jump would be longer. She started the run and sailed through the air, without screaming this time and landed in the water on her feet, Eric was holding her arms. "I did it!"
"Jackie, you actually did it! Now comes the scary part. I'm letting go but the jacket will keep your head above water."
"No, not yet – give me a minute." She didn't want to tell him that the jump through the air was exhilarating! She let her self float with the life jacket and was still able to touch the bottom of the pool. Okay this was not too bad. "Let go."
Eric pushed her away and let her float in the water. "Pull up your knees!" She did as he requested and now she was actually moving through the water. She paddled with her hands and managed to get to the side of the pool with some funny little kicking movements. Eric glided over to the edge. "Now you can be proud. You just did the dog paddle. Not very gracefully, but you did it."
She squealed and kissed him on the cheek. "I thought I was going to sink but I didn't!"
Eric pushed her hair out of her face and smiled. "Have you ever been kissed in a swimming pool before?"
"No. What's it like?"
"I can't tell you, I just have to show you." Eric wrapped one hand around her waist and grabbed the back of her head with his other. He pressed his mouth to hers and she kissed him hungrily. She was hardly aware when he pushed off the bottom of the pool and they floated together in the deep end only connected arms and lips. Jackie could feel his legs swirling around hers and she knew she wasn't in the shallow anymore, she was in deep.
He kissed her back just as hungrily and she loved the feeling of weightlessness and the dizzying effects of Eric's lips. He broke the kiss and smiled at her, "Don't freak out but the bottom of the pool is way down there."
Jackie looked down but secure in the life jacket and having Eric next to her diminished her fears. "This is kind of cool." She waved her arms through the water and the movement carried her slowly around the pool. "I know I'm not swimming, but this feels awesome." Eric dove under the water, tugging gently on her foot and came up behind her. "Hey, not fair!" He dragged the jacket around and kissed her again.
"You're just going to have to trust me aren't you?" he smirked before kissing her again.
She sighed, "I think I already do." She smiled. "Take me back to the shallow. I have to try this myself!"
Eric was reminded of Jackie being the beautiful kite and he was the string that held her from flying away. It was a beautiful Kitty Forman sentiment.
*