AN- okay I know its a short one but it's important to the story. Bellas pretty messed up. Don't hate her for using Edward. Think about what he did to her!! I'll let you read now .. enjoy

BPOV

I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I needed Edward Cullen like the air that I breathed.

I had to make him leave, there was no other choice. I may have needed him but I couldn't just let things pick up where they left off. I couldn't feel that pain again, it very nearly killed me and it endangered Renesmee's life. I didn't take care of myself during my pregnancy. I'm ashamed of it now but at the time there was nothing I could do to pull myself out of the depression. It consumed me, I didn't eat for days at a time. Couldn't sleep for fear of dreaming of him and then waking to find he wasn't really there. Alice and Rosalie looked after me as best they could. Having to restrain me and forcefeed me vitamins at my lowest points. They were there at the birth. I was wheeled off almost straight away and had tubes inserted everywhere. I had to see a psychiatrist before I was allowed to see my daughter, then I was monitored for months afterwards in case I spiralled into post-natal depression. The second I saw her beautiful face I knew I needed to get my act together. Holding her in my arms made everything real for me. I started eating properly, looking after myself. I was completely and utterly in love with her the moment she grasped my little finger with her tiny wrinkled hand. I knew then that I would always protect her no matter what.

I couldn't let Edward walk out of her life as he walked out of mine. I was going to let him know if he was going to be a part of her life now, he was going to be a part of it forever, he had a choice to make.

When Alice walked into my kitchen at 12 o'clock she took one look at me and threw her arms around me. I guessed I looked worse than I thought, in truth I'd spent all night crying and only got about 2 hours sleep.

"Oh Bella!" I smelt her familiar vanilla scent and was overcome with another fit of tears. I sobbed into her chest. She didn't seem to care when I wiped my nose across her shirt.

"Oh Alice ... I.. I don't.. don't know... whatI'msupposedtodooooooooo!" She stroked my hair until my tears finally came to a halt. I felt her small hands grip my shoulders as she brought me to face her. Grabbing for a tissue I dried my eyes. Alice was looking at me with sympathetic eyes. Her face quickly changed, it was as if a light bulb went off in her head. She grabbed her car keys and made for the door.

"Alice where are you .." I stood from my stool, she couldn't just leave me. She turned and smiled.

"Bella get dressed, I'll meet you in the car." I couldn't help the little chuckle that left my mouth. She was just so .... Alice.

Before I knew it we were in a car headed for Port Angeles.I suddenly had visions of why we were going to Port Angeles and my head started spinning. I grabbed the edges of the seats to stop myself throwing up.

"Bella relax, he's not in Port Angeles now." I turned to look at her with one eyebrow raised. I'd never understood how she just seemed to know things and I'd learnt a long time ago it wasn't worth asking.

A few moments later we pulled up in front of a little pink building I couldn't recall ever seeing before. Alice reached for my hand and pulled me through the door. A bell rung as it opened and as I looked around me I realised we were in a salon.

"Alice darling how are you? It's been too long sweetie. You look fabulous by the way." Alice was wrapped into the arms of a huge copper skinned man. His short hair was jet black and spiky. His ensemble was a little 'out there' although I couldn't deny the violet paisley button down and black leather pants actually suited him.

"You too sunshine! I love that shirt, its so very you. But Sammy, we have a very real beauty crisis on our hands." Sammy put his hands on his hips and cocked an eyebrow at Alice.

"Alice Mary Whitlock are you suggesting there is a hot mess that I can't solve?" Alice threw her head back and laughed, gesturing to me. I blushed immediately as his eyes fell upon me. He looked me up and down and waved his finger in the air before placing it gently on his chin.

"Oh sweetie. Lets make you beautiful." He winked at me before moving me towards a swivel chair positioned in front of a mirror.

After two hours of poking, plucking, scrubbing and hacking I did feel pretty. Sammy had cut my hair a little shorter, it now rested on my shoulders and it felt oh so soft. He plucked my eyebrows into a thin arch, making me look a lot less like a caterpillar farm. Thankfully my make-up was minimal and didn't even look like I had any on. I'd opted to forego the artificial nails and went for a simple French manicure instead. I stood before Alice and Sammy in the outfit Alice had thrown at me when she went to pick up some coffee.

"Let me tell you Bells, when you walked in here I thought for certain you were a lost cause. Under that birds nest hair though, you're a stunner! Look at those jugs!" I chuckled embarrassed and Alice simply beamed at me. She stuffed Sammy a handful of notes and we left in a flurry.

"Mom!? Mom!? Where are you? Mom!?" I could hear Nessie calling me from downstairs as I stood in front of my mirror in my underwear. Inspecting my horrible body. When my bedroom door burst open Renesmee wolf whistled at me.

"Jeez Mom you know how hot you are?" I shot her a death glare before turning to grab my pyjamas.

"Seriously though, how many women your age do you know with a cracking rack like that. Other than those superhuman freaks of nature Alice and Rosalie." I laughed down my nose.

"Mom, you're beautiful, you just don't see it. Look properly." She pointed to the mirror.

I stared at my face first of all. I guess I was reasonably lucky, I didn't have a wrinkle in sight and my skin was pretty. My eyes were just as bright and sparkly as they'd been when I was younger. I was grateful to be blessed with good hair. The colour was a little boring but it was thick with a natural loose wave and it framed my face nicely and I suppose my body wasn't that terrible. I was only a size 10 and I had curves, real curves. I was pale, but who in Forks wasn't. My eyes welled up as I realised my daughter was teaching me to love my body. My 17 year old daughter. I pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head.

I realised then, she was so much stronger than me. She was smart, she wouldn't let her father hurt her. Hell this girl wouldn't let anyone hurt her. Emmett had taught her to throw a proper punch when she was still in diapers. The girl didn't need looking after like I thought. Perhaps it was time to take care of myself.

AN- ok let me know ....