RPOV (because it seems like forever)

I decided I needed to get out.

My Mom was going to throw an uber shit fit unless somebody got her to chill first. That somebody was going to be Emmett.

Fucking overgrown idiot. Him and his stupid fucking crater dimple face could twat off. He told my Mom that I wasn't planning on going to college. What's his problem, does he go out of his way to upset people or is he just plain ignorant. Actually I already knew the answer to that. Emmett was a dumbass. He couldn't help it, Rose always said that he lost a brain cell every time he whacked off into her expensive towels. Emmett must have spoiled a lot of towels.

There was only one place I knew I could go to runaway from this. I couldn't go to Jasper and Alice's, they would rather jump off a cliff than take sides between me and my Mom. Especially when there wasn't a simple right and wrong side. This shit was technically my decision, though I guess my Mom should have some say in it, seeing as how she popped me out her vag and provided the cash. I wouldn't get a word in with Rosalie, she'd only shout and swear about the fact that millions of people dreamed of going to college but couldn't and tell me how I'm throwing away the best oppurtunity that ever happened to me. Oh and she'd remind me it was my fault Mom didn't graduate from college. I thought telling Emmett was the best option. I thought he'd understand. After all he told me his parents pressured him into playing college soccer when he wanted to do art. Hence all the weird splodges of paint on canvas all over Rose and Emmett's house. He ratted me out though. My own fault for telling someone who once asked me if the drummer from Nirvana and the lead singer of the Foo Fighters were related or if they just really looked like each other. On the subject of stupid things Emmett has said, he once argued with himself for an hour as to why Pop Tart's weren't called Rock Tarts or even Hip Hop Tarts. I always understood Rosalie's temper once I'd spent any great length of time with him.

I was going to La Push. To see Jacob. He wouldn't try and persuade me either way. Hell I wouldn't even need to explain my reasons to him. I hadn't even considered Edward, purely because my Mom was pissed enough as it was, I didn't need to add fuel to the fire. That was probably burning everything I owned right now.

Pulling up outside Jacob's house, I suddenly felt very nervous. I hadn't told him I was coming to La Push, I felt like I was about to invite myself into his house. I had my key in the ignition and was about to start up my engine again when I saw the curtains moving in the front room of Jacob's tiny little house. Suddenly the front door burst open and all anxiety I had been feeling flew out the window. Along with my rationality and sense of morals. Jacob wasn't wearing a shirt. I thought I was going to come in my brand knew Victorias Secret panties. Judging by some of the stuff in that store, Victoria didn't have very many fucking secrets! And at that moment I wanted Jacob to know all my secrets. I couldn't even count whatever pack he had.

"Ness are you gonna come inside or sit there staring at me all day?" He shouted from the porch.

I turned horrendously red as I realised my eyes had glazed over with lust and my lip was between my teeth. Jacob had noticed. I closed my eyes and once again considered turning the key and driving home. I needed to man up and face the music. Come on Ness you have the wittiest combination of genes in the entire world. You are fricken superwitgirl. I opened the door slowly, worried about the fact my legs were barely able to support me. Then I remembered I'd chosen to wear a skirt. Who needed wit when your Grandma Swan donated a cracking ass to the genepool. Eww not literally. I swung my legs out the side of the car and stretched them onto the side walk in front of me. I knew what a boner generator this move could be, I had used it a million and one times. It was all in the execution.

I coyly looked at the floor before half smiling and looking up to Jacob briefly. The few seconds I saw of his expression told me my little plan was working. He was mesmerised already, normally guys weren't hooked this early into the recital. I reached my arms out behind me and used the seat to push myself into the air, my back arched, like I was stretching it. I rolled my head around slowly on my neck, exposing about an inch more cleavage and a tiny bit of the red material. I straightened my back and tousled my hair with my left hand, pushing the car door shut with my right foot.

Taking a few steps toward where Jake was standing, still not looking directly at him. I chucked my keys softly behind me. I shook my head in fake annoyance and spun around quickly, crossing my legs behind each other. I hoped to God my panties weren't crammed into the crack of my 'perfect' ass as I slowly bent at the waist, my ass pointing straight at Jacob and revealing the soft curves of my buttcheeks. I spun around quickly and smiled at him before bounding up the porch steps. I reached his face, his eyes still wide and his mouth hung loose. I closed his mouth gently with my index finger before tapping his cheek twice with my palm.

"Now who's staring?" I smiled seductively and cocked an eyebrow at him before sashaying into the house. Silently grateful for my beautiful buns. It was several moments before Jacob followed into his sitting room. He was scratching his head and looking everywhere but at me.

"Oi fleaboy stop scratching, you'll make your head bleed." I patted the sofa next to me, a smug smile forming on my face. I had really affected him that much. I noticed his shirt lying across the arm of the chair, I thought about passing it to him but decided I much preferred the half naked look.

He looked at me nervously before beginning to pace across the room. I sighed heavily and waited for him to finish creating a worn patch in his fathers carpet. I didn't have to wait long.

"Ness .. I" I looked at him and his eyes turned dark.

"Fuck it.. I'm just going to say it. Urm.. How long have we known each other? I mean properly like, since we actually started speaking to one another?" His words came out faster than he imagined I think because the sentence structure sounded strange to my ears.

"Erm just over a month but I really don't see where you're going with.." He held a hand out to silence me. I fucking hated that. I was just about to reprimand him when I felt his lips against mine. Hard and needy. I was stunned for just a second before I began to gently kiss him back. I wasn't going to lie to myself I wanted him. He pulled away and placed his hands on either side of my face and spoke straight into my eyes.

"Renesmee. You are the most beautiful, smartest, funniest, sexiest girl I have ever met. The second I met you I knew I would fall for you. When you said that hot hunk of yellow metal outside was yours I wanted you. I needed you in my life. I can't stop thinking about you Ness. I know we barely know each other but its like we always have."

Oh shit. So that's what this was. The reason I seemed to run to Jacob the second I needed to speak to someone. The reason I hadn't seen Angela for almost a whole 2 weeks. Why my heart went into overdrive when anyone mentioned La Push. I was wearing a skirt for fucks sake. Swans don't do skirts unless they're trying. As reality dawned on me I didn't notice Jacob watching me intently. His face slowly recognising what he thought was rejection until it was too late. He walked away from me into the kitchen. It took me a few seconds to get out of my seat and notice he was gone. I walked into the kitchen as fast as I could without breaking into a run and looked at Jacobs thick body slumped against the worktop. He was staring out the window. Only I recognised that look, My Mom did it all the time. Jacob wasn't looking out the window, he was trying to push down his pain. I felt my heart pump faster as I realised I was hurting him with my ridiculously slow behaviour. I felt like Emmett, 4 fucking steps behind everyone else. I liked Jacob. A lot. It had just taken his words to make me realise that. I quietly walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Resting my head against the giant muscles under the skin of his back I felt him inhale, his breath catching slightly. I attempted to snuggle into his side. Wanting to feel his big arms around me. I wanted him to crush my body against his until I couldn't breathe. I needed to be that fucking close that I could taste his aftershave. I placed a light kiss on his back.

"You don't have to.. I mean. Don't try and make me feel better." His voice was flat. Emotionless. I guess that took some effort. I kissed him again.

"Jake. Look at me." He didn't turn. "Fucking look at me damnit!" I used his muscles like a spring boars and pushed myself off him. He turned slowly towards me. His eyes blank though I could sense the pain in them.

"Honestly Jacob. I didn't know until 5 minutes ago that I felt anything for you." He snorted. "No hear me out. It answers all my questions though Jacob. Why over the last month I have become this new person you've made me. This better person. I'm balanced when I'm around you Jake. You accept the crazy inappropriate comments and you don't force me to speak when I want to be quiet. You Jacob Black are perfect for me. You're amazing and gorgeous and you don't give a flying fuck. You make me forget just how fucked up my parents are simply with your smile. Not to mention you have awesome taste in cars..... I'm yours Jake. I'm yours."

I took a step towards him. My eyes now welling up with tears. I put myself out there. I didn't do that. I didn't admit my feelings. I just went with whatever people assumed.

"Take me." I whispered, the tears finally breaking through. I felt a strong pair of arms squeeze me tightly. My face was full of nipple. His giant body was crushing me to his. This is what I wanted. I just hadn't known it. My heart was about to swell and burst with how fucking happy I was right now.

He kissed my head and pulled my body back so he could look at me. I tried to swing my arms around his shoulders but I couldn't reach. He chuckled lightly and lifted me onto the kitchen table, bringing me that much closer to his face. He lifted each one of my arms and slung them around his neck, his hands then moving to my ribs. I kissed him. It wasn't a gentle, heart warming kiss. Neither was it a kiss that showed how we felt about each other. This was a hormone driven kiss. We were exploring each others mouths without shame. My hands moved down his back and I raked my nails across his shoulder blades. His hands had slipped up my shirt and he was pinching my nipples. Fucking good choice of day to run out of bras. I felt his fingers move towards the button of my skirt when my phone started to ring.

"Ignore it." I moaned against his mouth, my hands tugging his hair. It stopped ringing for literally a second before it starting again and blaring out that ridiculous song Emmett had provided me with.

"Ness I think.. I think it must be important." I ground my knee against his crotch as I reached for my cell. I didn't even look at the caller display.

"Hello?"

"Renesmee where are you?" His tone was urgent.

"Edward this is a really bad time can you call back later?" Jacobs tongue had found my navel.

"No. You need to get to Forks General now." I thought of all the reasons I might need to be at the hospital. All the people I loved. Anyone of them could be hurt. It didn't matter who it was, they all meant the same to me. In fact I didn't want to know. It wasn't real until I knew what happened. I fucking hope it's not something serious.

"5" I hung up the phone and grabbed all my stuff. I didn't need to explain to Jacob. He saw my expression and followed me right out the door, grabbing his shirt on the way.

By the time we got to the car I was crying too much to drive. Jacob kissed my forehead and took the keys from my hand. I curled up in the passenger seat. The faces of my family flashing before me. This was going to be the longest fucking five minutes of my life.