AN – I'm glad I wasn't the only one who cried at the last chapter. That was horrible to write. Enjoy this one.
EPOV
Fuck.
Fuck.
And fuck some fucking more.
I honestly didn't know what to say and I was normally so good with words. I knew at the hospital all Bella would need is to be held. I knew her too well, we were too alike for me not to know what she needed. I wanted to cry. Fuck, Charlie and I didn't get on but had I never dated his daughter I'm positive things would have been different. He and Carlisle were the best of friends before we left Forks. At the time I never thought anything of the fact he was always away on business on the same weekends Charlie was out fishing. It may seem bigheaded of me but I honestly don't believe Charlie ever wanted to hate me but I hurt his baby girl, it's part of fatherhood. I know if anyone hurt Renesmee I'd be kicking ass and taking names and I'd only known of her existance a few short months.
I spent half an hour pacing Bella's kitchen. Dreading the moment her and Renesmee woke. I didn't know how to fix this. It couldn't be fixed. There was nothing that I could say to take her pain away. Though I wouldn't think twice if I was offered the oppurtunity. I'd taking it and fucking run. I'd keep running even when my legs felt like they'd snap in half if I didn't stop. I slammed my fist against the cabinet in frustration. I fucking hated not being able to fix this. I was being an idiot. I needed to get myself together for their sake. I needed to be strong. I climbed back up the stairs, something inside telling me I was needed.
The second my foot made contact with the top step I heard shuffling coming from the direction of Bellas bedroom. I walked as slowly as possible towards the doorway, pausing once I got there, not wanting to freak her out. She'd been pretty much unconscious by the time we'd made it here. It hadn't felt wrong to undress her and dress her again in pyjamas. It wasn't at all sexual or perverted. It was a loving gesture. I knew she wouldn't sleep comfortably in her clothes. Bella was a creature of comfort. Sweats and mens shirts being her favourite comfort clothes. I'd been surprised when I pulled open her drawer of pyjamas. There was a stack of shirts I recognised. Pulling the first out a small smile had graced my lips. It was one of my old shirts. In fact it used to be her favourite. She'd refuse to wash it for weeks at a time, claiming it got comfier the dirtier it was. My heart swelled at the thought she had kept my stuff after everything I'd put her through. Perhaps it was selfish of me to dress her in it. A little sick maybe. It didn't phase me though, I knew Bella would appreciate the gesture. I decided that was more than enough procrastination for one day as I gently pushed on the door and walked into the room. Bella was wrapped around a sleeping Renesmee. The sight warmed my heart. No matter how much Bella was hurting. She understood her role as a mother. She didn't look up when I entered, nor when I removed my shoes and climbed in behind her, wrapping my arms tightly around her stomach. I nuzzled my head into her shoulder and she finally responded. One hand reached behind her and tickled the hair above my ear.
"Thankyou." She whispered. Her voice gritty and almost inaudible against the incredibly loud silence. I knew she didn't require a response. In fact it would more than likely make her uncomfortable so I opted to plant a light kiss on her shoulder instead. I felt her stiffen beneath me and began to panic. I hadn't considered whether or not she would be okay with that. Was it too much. She knew how I felt, but had made it more than clear she didn't feel the same way. I went to pull away from her. I'd messed up again. What she said next almost made my jaw drop wide open like in cartoons.
"I still love you." Again another barely audible whisper but I heard it. Her body stiffened against me. She was worried I'd changed my mind. Scared I didn't want her anymore.
I chuckled against her neck, placing another light kiss there. "I love you too Bella."
"Is it wrong to be so happy with everything that's happened?" She was still holding our daughter with one arm but used the other to thread her fingers through mine. Linking us together.
"I think he'd be happy." I didn't want to upset her by saying his name but she knew what I meant.
Bella twisted her body in my arms to face me, bringing her lips close to mine. Ghosting them with her own as she spoke. "I know he would." A single tear slipped down her cheek as our lips met. As she brought her hands to my face the bed shifted. I opened one eye to find a sleepy eyed Renesmee staring at us, a bright expression mismatching her dishevelled appearance.
"Sick. My parents are making out in the bed I'm sleeping in." She rubbed her eyes before nudging me playfully. "Get off my Mom you pervert."
Bella turned around shooting Nessie an evil look before kissing me again. This time throwing a hundred times more passion in. Her hands fisted in my hair and she pulled her body flush against mine. I couldn't stifle a laugh as I heard Rensmee jump out of bed and run down the hall to her room.
"Fucking aren't allowed to do shit like that!" Bella pulled away and winked at me before throwing her legs out the side of the bed.
"I hope you're making breakfast Cullen I'm starving." In that moment Bella was Bella again. She wasn't healed but she sure wasn't going to show her pain anymore in true Bella style.
Alice arrived several hours later with 6 tubs of Cookie Dough ice cream. She handed one to Nessie, giving her a sad smile and a comforting rub on the back. Put 3 in the freezer and grabbed 2 spoons and turned for the stairs. I raised an eyebrow at her questioningly and she pointed her spoon at me.
"Don't question my methods Cullen. I don't question yours."
I opened my mouth to inform her that yes in fact she does question my methods but she was gone. I shook my head.
"You'd understand if you had a vagina." Renesmee said her statement as casually as Jenna Jameson would take off her clothes. Somehow she'd managed to devour a quarter of a tub already and was plunging her spoon in for another mouthful.
I sighed "Tell me did you spend a lot of your childhood with Emmett and Rosalie or does your mother have a secret crude side."
Nessie shrugged her shoulders before nodding, presumably at the first option. I laughed through my nose and put a pot of coffee on.
"So do I have to call you Daddy now or what?"
I paused. Slightly shocked by her outwardness. Really I should expect it by now, what with the bastard granddaughter comment to my parents.
"Umm.. I... Err.. You know ... I... I'm easy." I was at a loss for words again.
"I know that. It's why I'm here." I rolled my eyes and shook my head disapprovingly. Despite her strange sense of social acceptability in conversation she had a way of just relieving tension with a sentence. I suddenly felt as if I didn't need to answer her question. It was irrelevant, she'd call me what she wanted to. The doorbell rang and we looked at each other confused. No one else had made arrangements to drop by this afternoon. Everyone else was coming for pizza and trashy films tonight, while my parents babysat.
I opened the door to be met by an unusually large copper skinned manboy. He looked a little confused by my presense at first and I could practically hear the cogs turning in his head before the little lightbulb went off in his head.
"Yo. You must be the sperm provider. I'm Jacob Black." He held a hand out to me which I did not take. I wasn't sure I liked this kid.
"And you Jacob Black must be...."
"He's my bitch." I heard Nessie shout from the kitchen and the oddly muscular child ducked under my arm and walked straight in.
I mumbled under my breath something about coming in and making himself at home. My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets when I walked into the kitchen to find him sucking face with my daughter. I cleared my throat and sat back in the stool opposite Renesmee. His eyes opened and I could see the lust in them quite obviously. I wanted to rearrange the overgrown steroid freaks face. I had to remind myself I was in fact nearing 40 and I should probably grow up a little bit but when his hand slid around to grope her ass I nearly lost it.
"So Jacob what do you ... do?" My tone wasn't exactly friendly. I should have been embarressed of myself. I was behaving like a child.
"I'm inbetween jobs at the moment. College wasn't my thing you know. I'm actually looking at being a mechanic at the moment." He seemed so proud of himself. The moment he said mechanic his eyes lit up and his face became animated.
In what I wouldn't call one of my finest moments I snorted. I Edward Cullen actually snorted at a teenage boy. Renesmees face was rife with disappointment and I didn't blame her.
She raised her eyebrows and ran her hands through her hair. Before taking Jacobs face between her hands and kissing him passionately. It was revolting, I could actually hear their tongues slapping together. I slammed my hands against the cabinet for the second time today and stormed out of the room. Why was I such a child today.
"Bella!" I called out as I stomped up each step towards her bedroom. "Bella!"
I heard giggling and burst into her bedroom to be met by her and Alice, empty ice cream tubs and Bella with her index fingers held about 9 inches apart.
"Bella!" They turned to me, Alice trying to hold back her giggles and Bella turning a deep shade of crimson. I really didn't want to know what they were talking about. I was flustered with my own anger.
"Do you realise your daughter is downstairs sucking face with a long haired hooligan. I mean he's gotta be on steroids or something! He's bigger than Emmett." I could feel myself getting angrier as I tried to explain myself. I paced on the spot. "Seriously though, his dream is to be a mechanic. A fucking mechanic! Not a doctor or a lawyer or anything sensible!"
Alice shot me a disappointed look before leaving the room and heading downstairs. Bella sighed and got off the bed to stand in front of me.
"Firstly. You write jingles, you have no right to judge. Secondly, Renesmee can date who she wants, social status and annual income don't really affect her choices." I began to feel very very embarressed of myself. "You should also know that Jacob doesn't have the resources to go to college and be a doctor or a lawyer even if he wanted to. Don't get me wrong he's got the brains to go with all that brawn but his Mom died before he really knew her and his Dad is disabled. He's a good kid Edward. Leave him alone." Bella hadn't raised her voice, she didn't even sound angry. So why did I feel like I'd just had a telling off.
"I.. I .. oh fuck." I ran my hands through my hair and pinched the bridge of my nose. A small pair of hands wrapped around my waist and I felt Bellas head rest on my chest.
"They'll forgive you. Forget it. You didn't know." I sighed and dropped my chin gently onto the top of her head. "Besides, you're cute when you're being angry Daddy." She kissed my chest and stroked my back lovingly. This wasn't right. I was supposed to be comforting her not the other way around.
"Bella. Are you going to be okay?" Bella paused for a moment, considering her answer. Either that or I'd upset her again.
"I think so. Charlie would want me to be happy. He'd want me to be happy with you."
I felt her smile against me as she said the last part. She'd been consumed by her grief for a while but it seemed it had spat her out and told her to pull herself together. She was healing. Well.
Bella was truly a remarkable woman.
AN I hope you liked that one. I promise you'll get some lemons soon. Please let me know what you think. It makes my day to have a full inbox.