I Know Chapter 2, a zoey 101 fanfic

Voices

They whisper in your ear

Telling you things you don't want to hear

For your feelings they do not care

Telling you to do what you do not dare

Screaming things

That echo in your dreams

Crying in pain

They take over your brain

And all you want is for it to end.

Months, weeks, days had passed since you had shown up on my door step, my life fractured even more so by your abrupt departure. Broken promises of phone calls and emails, I don't understand why I'm disappointed after all I did expect it, why would this time around be any different? Still as yet another semester begins I feel even more alone. Despite the hundreds of students that surround me, none of them could ever possibly understand me like you do. Walking through campus I hear the whispered conversations, rumours, gossip mostly about me and my latest endeavour, or the scars lining my body. I thought you were going to be my saviour, obviously I was wrong. After you left again I decided to stop caring about life itself, it hurts too much to care but even more so not to. I slowly started drowning in the darkness again with no escape this time, the pain I endured throughout my life slowly tearing through me shattering my soul, I'm nothing but an empty shell and yet each time I think I see you even if only for a second the despair stops because I finally feel as though you have come to rescue me, like I'm a princess and your my knight in shining armour, butt of course it's not you and I sink even father. I've been torn apart completely destroyed my only saving grace is a single blade covered in crimson stains, another scar appears on my arm the next day. Each time I think of you another scar appears its sick I know but it's the only way to forget you. Even more months past and you're hardly a blip on my radar any more I've opened up ever so slightly and even have myself a boyfriend, yet I receive news about everyone from chase, the only one of you all who bothered to stay in contact, he came to visits whilst he was in England telling me how you weren't the giant flirt you were before and you even have long term relationships so my question and reason for this email becomes why couldn't you have that with me? Why did you have to tear me down at every chance and yet at the same time make me believe you actually cared for me? The voices in my head have come back to haunt me, my doubts and insecurities, past pains and loves yet you're the strongest, loudest voice and I surmise that you always will be, I just don't think I will be able to deal with them long enough to confirm that and so I ask you to let me go and let me move on from you even though I distrust I ever will.