A/N: I use actual dialogue from the game in this chapter. It's not quite canon because I add in more movement and internalized Naoto/Shadow talk, however, other than that it's identical. Persona 4 is copyrighted, and I do not own it. So don't sue me. I am but a poor college student, and if you do sue, I may have to pull an Adachi and jump through a TV. Anyway, enjoy.

Edit: Just tightened a few things up and fixed grammar issues.

Edit 2: Added a poem that fits nicely--I Am, by John Clare.

Borderline of Madness, Part 1: Secret Lab

Chapter Three: Borderline of Madness

I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,

My friends forsake me like a memory lost;

I am the self-consumer of my woes,

They rise and vanish in oblivous host,

Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost;

And yet I am, and live with shadows toast

Naoto lay on her back in the lab, her eyes squeezed shut. It had certainly been an interesting day…two days…week? How long had she even been there? She hadn't gotten terribly hungry or thirsty so it couldn't have been that long.

"But then again, applying logic to a place like this really is pointless." She thought.

So you have finally decided to accept that you are not in a "normal" situation?

Naoto looked up to see her double leering over her. "How do you do that? How can you hear what I'm thinking?"

The Shadow rolled its eyes. Naoto-kun, how many times must I explain this simple fact to you? You and I are—

INTRUDER DETECTED ON THIS FLOOR. DEPLOYING ENHANCED SECURITY.

A loud alarm blared and the double rushed over to the computer console.

So they've managed to get this far. Very well. Let us see how you deal with these! The duplicate laughed maniacally and pressed a button.

Naoto staggered to her feet in rage. "Do you think you are some sort of super villain? Are you that much of a twisted freak?!" She spoke so violently that she spit a little. "How dare you act like this with my countenance! You are a disgrace!"

The double crumpled at Naoto's feet and began sobbing.

Once again, Naoto was taken a back. "What are you?"

The double continued to sob, rubbing the oversized sleeves of the lab coat over its eyes. I'm nothing but a waste of space. A simple child who cannot achieve anything. A weakling girl. I'll never be accepted as I really am.

Feeling a deep sense of sympathy, Naoto knelt down by the Shadow and shakily placed a hand on its shoulder. "You don't need to cry."

The doppelganger shook her off and stormed towards the operating table. Don't need to cry? Just like you didn't, Naoto-kun? That day you threw away your girls uniform forever and donned the clothes of a man? The double glanced down and tugged at the banana yellow tie around its neck. Complete with a nice silk tie. That is impressive.

Naoto walked toward the table. "Why do you know all of this? Are you also a detective?" She desperately hoped that her double would not confirm her fear that Yukiko's drunken ramblings about "personas" and "shadows" had actually been the truth.

The Shadow's eyes glistened. Someday I'm going to be the most hard-boiled detective in the whole world! They'll write books about me. And movies. I'll be much more than a Detective Prince! I'll be the KING!

Naoto's eyes widened. "This can't be happening. You simply cannot actually be me. I mean…" She struggled to find any piece of evidence to the contrary. "I've never wanted to be famous." Oh what a lie. What a horrible lie.

Haven't you though? That day that you told your grandpa, "I'm going to be a detective." And secretly started working on his cases? You did that for fame, right?

Naoto turned away. "This is ridiculous!"

Just then, the airlocks on the door released and the metal shifted open.

Seta came running in closely followed by the rest of his group. It was all Naoto could do to keep herself from turning to her double and saying, "HA! I told you!"

"Naoto!" The tall guy with the bleached blonde hair—Kanji Tatsumi—yelled.

Naoto turned to face them. "Ah. It's about time you arrived." Attempting nonchalance, she spoke as bravely as she could, "Dealing with this child has been quite a pain." She turned to walk towards the group.

Her double shrieked. "No! No, no, don't go!"

Naoto was shaken. The entire time she had been conversing with this apparition, it had never actually spoken. She realized that everything it had said before had been inside her head. What in the world was going on? No matter. It was time to go.

"It's useless speaking with you. I need to go back now…"

"Why? Why're you leaving me here!? Why am I always left alone!?" The look-alike sniffed and began crying again. "It's so lonely…I don't want to be alone!"

"Naoto-kun…"

Naoto heard the black-haired girl—Yukiko Amagi—sigh sympathetically. She couldn't honestly think that that abomination was her, could she? Attempting to control her anger, Naoto turned on her Shadow.

"You wear the same face as me…It's as if you're implying we're one and the same." Naoto gestured wildly. "But the difference between me and you is…"

The double abruptly stopped crying. "Why delude yourself? I am you." Its voice had changed from a scared child to a fearsome contralto. "These childish gestures are no mere affectation…They're the truth."

It began pacing back and forth in front of the table. "The fools all say it, don't they…? 'You're only a child, 'Keep out of our business, kid,' and so forth." The double stopped abruptly. "No matter how many cases you spend hours cogitating over, no matter how many crimes you solve, you're a child in their eyes. It's your brain they're interested in. The grey matter locked up in that skull. As long as they need it, you're an ace detective! But once you're done, it's back to the playpen with you."

The Shadow walked up to Naoto and pushed the brim of her hat down over her eyes. "You haven't the means to deal with society's two-faced nature. You're just a lonely child."

"Naoto…" The boy with the headphones—Yosuke Hanamura—spoke softly (which was a first from what Naoto had seen). Naoto however was in no mood for sympathy. She pushed the brim of her hat back up and glared at her double.

It crumpled beneath her glare and began to cry again. "I wanna be a grown-up…I wanna be a big boy right now! Then they'll see who I am…" It blew its nose on the overly large sleeve. "I…I want a reason for me to stay…"

Naoto sighed in frustration. Would these mood swings never end? "That's enough. I can find my own reason for living."

The reflection abruptly stopped crying again and laughed. "I'm telling you that's impossible. You are but a child. How can you change this essential truth?"

Naoto shook her head. "S-Stop it!"

"At your core you admire the sort of 'strong' and 'cool' men who populate detective fiction. But in trying to emulate them, you must know that in truth, you're nothing of the sort—you're a child. There's no avoiding first principles…Admit you're a child, and admit there's nothing you can do about it."

Her mirror image turned toward the operation table and fiddled with something. "Now then! Our analysis is complete. Let us begin the body alteration procedure. You have no objections, do you, 'Naoto' Shirogane?"

Naoto tensed. This thing was getting dangerously close to revealing far more than she was comfortable with in front of Seta and the others. "Stop it!"

Naoto saw a glimmer in the double's eyes. Ohho, so they don't know? Its voice rang out in her head. "Don't you dare!" Naoto urged the evil reflection to stay silent. But it was far from obedient.

The double waltzed over to Naoto, and spoke in a dramatic voice. "Naoto…such a cool, manly name! But a name doesn't change the truth. It doesn't let you cross the barrier between the sexes. How could you become an ideal man when you were never male to begin with…?"

And there it was. Naoto heard a collective gasp behind her. "Fantastic. Now they'll think I'm a freak too."

Of course they will. It's how it always goes.

"Wait, what?? Did he…did I hear that right?!?" Hanamura exclaimed loudly (back to his usual mode of speaking, Naoto noted).

"H-He's not a guy!?" Tatsumi's voice was shaky.

Naoto was seething. She wanted to beat that stupid look-alike to the ground and stomp on it until it lay still. She wanted to throw over the table and dismantle the lab. She…she needed to take a really, really deep breath and get a hold of herself.

"I won't throw a tantrum…that accomplishes nothing!" She muttered, attempting to stay in control.

The double laughed evilly. "How often I've heard those words from the adults. 'Throwing a tantrum won't solve anything, Naoto-kun,' and other such bilge. They made you cry, didn't they? Yet here you are, mimicking those same men. What exactly are you trying to justify?"

Naoto was caught off guard. She was the victim here…why was she being so brutally questioned? "What?"

The double put both of its hands on each of Naoto's shoulders. "It's all right. You needn't suffer anymore. That's why you're undergoing this body alteration procedure to begin with. You throw a tantrum, but it fails to change the situation a single bit…I can quite understand the feeling. After all…I am you."

Naoto violently pushed the double away and screamed, completely loosing control. "That's not true!!"

A girl with short sandy hair stepped forward. "No, don't say it."

Tatsumi put out an arm and held the girl back. "It's okay…let the kid spill the whole thing. If not, Naoto's gonna just keep hurtin'. We'll just do our job and kick the Shadow's ass. Yeah?"

Naoto was momentarily touched by this kind sentiment (also a little confused…what did he mean by "kick the Shadow's ass"? You couldn't actually kick a shadow…right?) The moment didn't last long though. Her double began laughing and glowing dark.

"As if you know anything about me! You'll kick my ass, huh? Fine…Go ahead and try, you lizard-brained imbecile!!" The Shadow shouted and then became engulfed in black flame.

Naoto felt her entire mind blank out. As she fell to the ground and just before her vision went completely black, she saw some sort of cyborg fly into the air.

"What is...going...on..." The world went dark.