A/N: There is a good deal of swearing in this chapter (actually, in this entire arc…it is Kanji after all). Kanji does drop the f-bomb a few times, but not often enough that I felt I should rate the entire story M. There are also a few uses of the word "queer" (and similar words) in a negative manner. This does not reflect my own opinions at all, and I am using the word only to reflect Kanji's emotions. I do not mean to offend anyone of any sexual orientation through this story. If you feel that either of these things may offend you, please do not read on.

Borderline of Madness

Part 2: Sauna

Chapter Five: The True Self

"Nuugh…my head." Kanji sat up, rubbing his head.

What the hell had happened? One minute he'd been minding his own business at the store and the next…lights out. That's probably why his head hurt. Felt like he'd been frickin' curb-stomped or something.

"Bet it was those damn punks who've been followin' me. They prolly clocked me when I wasn't lookin'. That's what I get for turnin' my back on a bunch a losers."

Kanji rolled his neck around in a circle to make his head feel better. It didn't really help. But it sure was frickin' hot. Had his ma turned on the heat or somethin'?

"Crazy old bat. She does shit like that. She prolly found me knocked out and thought some heat'd be good for me." He was about to yell at his ma and tell her to turn the damn heat off, when he realized that he wasn't in the textile shop. He wasn't upstairs in his room either.

He looked around the room and found it to be big. Spacious even. The ceiling was pretty high and there was some sort of red curtain draped along the walls. Even from a distance, Kanji could tell that it was a nice fabric. Probably silk or maybe very fine cotton. The floor was made of smooth wood panels, and there was a slightly elevated area in the very back of the room. Kanji was on that elevated area.

"The hell?" This wasn't his ma's shop, that was for sure. There was a cheap-looking paneled screen divider (like the ones they had in the store for people to change behind) with flowers painted on it directly behind him, and red lantern lights hung from the ceiling. The lights cast an odd and almost seductive glow throughout the entire room. A thick steam hung in the humid air, softening these already dim lights.

Kanji suddenly felt claustrophobic. The air was too thick...too hot. He couldn't breathe. He began pulling at the collar of his skull t-shirt.

Oh, don't worry. There isn't a thing to be nervous about here. Just relaaaax.

A deep but effeminate sounding voice drifted lazily through the steam.

"W-Who's there?" Kanji scrambled to his feet and spun around looking for the owner of the voice.

Aww, I'm so disappointed. You don't recognize me? The voice crooned almost mockingly.

Kanji clenched his fists and his teeth as he scanned the room for the whoever that voice belonged to. "I might. I just can't see ya," he mumbled.

Of course, you can't. You're so good at hiding me.

What the hell was this prick talking about?

"You're the one hidin' from me, punk." Kanji cracked his knuckles. "So why don't you come on out so I can beat the shit outa you?"

A sultry laughter rang out. It seemed to be all around him. But there was nobody there. Although he would never admit it to himself, Kanji was beginning to get seriously freaked out. Something about this whole room just felt…bad.

Mmm, oh yes. You're in the Bad, Bad Bathhouse all right. Again the sultry laugh. And you know you like it here. More of a challenging tone, as if the disembodied voice was daring him to disagree.

"I don't even know where the fuck I am!" Kanji tried to sound terrifying rather than terrified. He wasn't sure if he succeeded. Then the voice laughed again and banished all doubt. Kanji knew that, somehow, there was no fooling this voice.

Don't know where you are? But Honey, you created it.

Kanji took a step backwards. "H-Honey? Who the hell you callin' Honey, eh?" There was something very odd about that voice. It seemed so…

Familiar?

"Wh-What the…get outa my head!"

Get out of your head? My dear, that won't be happening.

The steam began to flow towards the center of the room. Kanji's mouth fell open as he watched the mist swirl like water going down the drain after you pulled the plug. The steam began to take on a human form.

"Holy sh-shit." Kanji felt a cold chill run down his spine despite the temperature of the room.

The steam took an even more definite shape. Slowly chunks of mist began to peel off the figure like dry skin. As the figure stepped out into the now fog-clear room, Kanji felt his stomach drop. He was starring at himself. It was a mirror image, right down to the skull tattoo on his left shoulder and the stud in his nose. The only difference was clothing. Kanji was wearing his skull t-shirt and some old scuffed up jeans. The doppelganger wore only a short white towel around his waste.

Kanji Tatsumi! The double squealed in delight. It ran forward and embraced a very stunned Kanji. Mmhmm, oh it is so good to finally meet you, you delicious slice of man. The double squeezed Kanji's butt.

Kanji gave a surprised (and unfortunately rather high-pitched) scream and pushed the double away violently. "Don't fucking touch me, you…queer!"

Me? A queer? Perhaps. But you should know. After all, I am you.

Kanji just stood there staring at his double, stuttering. How could this other guy be him? The dude looked like him...but he didn't act like him. No way in hell would Kanji ever run around in a bath towel. And he certainly wouldn't flounce like this dude was. Kanji didn't flounce. Ever.

Are you sure? You know what everyone says about you. You know those punks saw you with that boy at the riverbed the other day. The double gave an amorous sigh. Ah…such a sweet, boyish face. And that dark hair…you know you just want to run your fingers through it. Knock the hat loose and just muss that mop. The double made a sort of purring noise deep in its throat.

Kanji swallowed hard. His tongue stuck to the roof of his dry mouth. "H-How the hell you know about all that?"

I already told you, Honey. I am you. And you are me.

Kanji shook his head violently. "I ain't like you."

You sure? Don't you like to sew? And you like men. Just like me. The double poked Kanji in the chest and giggled.

Kanji made an odd sort of choking noise. How the hell did this fag know anything about him? It couldn't actually be him…could it? It felt like the room was closing in on him again. The air was hot and thick. His head was on fire and all he could think about was his sewing machine…and that boy with the blue hat. He sank to the ground and rested his head on his knees.

"Just get the hell outa here. Leave me alone!"

What's so bad about being like me?

"Shut the fuck up!" Kanji plugged his ears and squeezed his eyes shut. But even through his plugged ears, he could hear the goddamn double crooning and laughing and flouncing about.

This had to be some sort of crazy ass dream. He'd wake up soon and all of this would be just a fucked up nightmare.

Are you afraid of your true self? Get used to it, Honey. There's no chance at escaping me now. Not here.

Oh he hoped to god he woke up soon.