A/N: There's a lot of swearing again. You have been warned. I'm not going to up the rating of the entire story because of Kanji's arc, but the language is pretty M rated. Naoto's isn't and I'm not planning to make Rise and Yukiko's like this. Anyway, enjoy.

Borderline of Madness, Part 2: Sauna

Chapter Six: A Corner of Memories

Kanji had given up on blocking out what his double was saying. It was frickin' pointless. He could still hear the dude even with his ears plugged. It was like the guy was in his head or something.

He stood with his back against a wooden pillar, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. His head still hurt. Bad. Like the time one of those biker bastards hit him on the head with a crowbar. He tried to ignore it, but the intense heat of the room wasn't doing shit to help. And that fruity look-alike really wasn't helping.

Kanji directed his gaze over toward his double who was currently reclining on some pillows in the far corner of the room, filing his fingernails.

"What the hell ya doin'?!" Kanji groaned. "You're actin' like a fuckin' fag with my goddamn face!"

The double glanced up at him and gave a small chuckle. Does this bother you? Is it upsetting to see your true self?

Kanji shook his head. "Uh-uh. No way. I ain't like that. I never do any of the shit you're doin'. I'm a man, dammit!"

And I'm not a man, hmm? Is that what you're trying to say? Just because I like things that girls like? Does that mean I'm not manly?

Kanji scowled at him. "I ain't sayin' nothin'."

The double stood and sauntered over to Kanji. Sewing isn't something real men do. Men like sports and women. Do you like sports? Do you like women?

Kanji edged away from his double, pressing his back hard against the pillar. "'s okay for guys to sew."

Kanji, darling, your voice holds no conviction. I know you don't believe that.

The double reached out and lightly stroked Kanji's cheek. I know what you want. And it isn't a woman.

"Shut up!" Kanji pushed his double away violently and half sprinted, half tripped across the room to where the door should have been. He discovered soon that there was no door.

"Wh-where the hell's the door at?" Kanji no longer cared about concealing the pure terror in his voice. He was scared shitless. He was going to die here with that…thing. What would his Ma do without him?

Yes, Kanji. You're leaving her behind. Just like your father did. What a horrible son. The double shrugged. But it's probably better than telling her that you're gay.

"I ain't gay!" Kanji screamed and punched the wall where the door should have been.

His double made a tsk noise. Me thinks my lady doth protest too much. You know, you've never been like the other boys. You've always been interested in "girly" things. Like sewing and cooking. Your newly awakened feelings for Naoto Shirogane prove that you are not and will never be like the other boys.

The shadow grabbed Kanji's shoulders with surprising strength. I know everything about you. There's no hiding anything from me. I know you want him. I know you're just parading around like some badass punk because you are insecure. I know you, Kanji, because I AM YOU!

Kanji shook with rage. Or was that fear? Sometimes it was hard for him to tell the difference. What this thing was saying was true. He knew it. And he hated that stupid reflection for seeing right through him. Kanji didn't doubt that this thing was him. Not for a second. He'd always known that something like this fruit was hiding somewhere in his mind. He hadn't ever expected these hidden thoughts and feelings to come to life and start tormenting him in some sort of weird ass sauna, but Kanji had always been bad at expecting things.

You didn't expect your dad to die, did you?

Kanji shook his head. "He shouldn't 'a died. He was invincible. He was so tough. But…" Kanji's voice choked with emotion.

His lungs gave out. Too many cigarettes. By the time they found the cancer, it was too far-gone. Six months. And then he was gone.

"It ain't fair, dammit! Why'd he haveta leave? Now I gotta take care of Ma all by myself."

You remember his last words, right?

Kanji blinked rapidly, attempting not to cry. Men didn't cry, dammit. "He told me to be a man."

You've failed him, haven't you? How can you be a man when you sew and fantasize about short, blue hat-wearing boys? How can you ever live up to your father's last wish?

Kanji couldn't help it. The goddamn tears just started pouring out of his eyes. He fell to his knees and began sobbing.

"I'm tryin' to be a man!"

But you just can't be one.

"Shut the fuck up!" Kanji sobbed as he pounded his fists against the floor. "DAMMIT!"

He felt a hand rest on his shoulder and looked up to see his double gazing at him with a mix of pity and smug satisfaction.

Reject their world. Accept mine. Why deny what you know is true?

"Because I don't…I don't wanna!" Kanji attempted to shrug his double off.

The double chuckled and began glowing darkly. Its eyes yellowed. That's right. You aren't man enough to accept your true self, are you? You're a disappointment to everyone. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO PROVE YOUR MASCULINITY, YOU WILL NEVER BE A REAL MAN!

Kanji was about to protest when he suddenly heard voices. They were muffled, as if far away. It reminded him of listening to his parents talking through the heat vent in his room when they had "grown-up" conversations downstairs.

"We've got to find Kanji-kun soon. It's supposed to rain in a few days." A soft female voice said.

"Don't worry Yukiko, we'll save him!" A louder female voice encouraged the first speaker.

"Just like we did with you." A calm male voice agreed.

"G-guys? Is anyone else getting really creeped out by this place?" A second male voice, less confident and slightly whiney.

Kanji looked up to see his double punch the pillar in the center of the room. Goddamn those punks! They won't find a fucking thing! Not here. They can't save you. You don't even want to be saved!

Kanji glared at the reflection. "You don't know shit, asshole! I want to get out of here right now. If somebody's comin' to get me, then I'm goin' with 'em. You don't know shit about what I want."

Kanji turned his back to his double and shut his eyes. He strained his ears in an attempt to catch more conversation from his unknown rescuers.

They won't have an easy time finding you. I'll make sure of that.

"Yeah, whatever." Kanji snorted. "They'll find me…whoever they are."

He trained his eyes on where the door should have been and prayed that they'd get him out of there soon.