Hey all. sorry its been so long since the last chapter.
so here is a chapter thats a little hard for me to write. the second part of the chapter is very close to my heart. i really hope you all like it. its really amazing how words from a loved one can make you think that love doesn't matter anymore. so enough with the confusing thoughts. enjoy and PLEASE COMMENT!! ill write soon :P
BPOV:
Alice and Esme sat on either side of me while we waited for Carlisle's results. "Oh Alice, congratulations on your engagement! Edward told me the night Jasper was going to ask." Alice smiled angelically at me.
"Oh thank you Bella! Jasper has made me the happiest girl alive!" She rubbed her hand on Jasper's thigh. Her tiny face brightened as a thought came to her mind. "Oh!" She closed her eyes and put her fingers to her temple. "I see-"Emmett hit her in the ribs.
"Ouch! Fine!!" I cocked an eyebrow at her, begging for explanation. "I was going to say; I see you at the wedding this fall, but-"She took in a deep breath "now I see you in it! Oh Bella, would you be a bridesmaid with Rosalie!?"
I panicked. I looked to Rosalie, she smiled timidly at me, and I couldn't return the smile. I sucked in breath after breath, searching for an answer. "Oh Alice –"She stood up and grabbed my hand. "I can see it all Bella, you and Rose can-" I put my hand over her mouth.
"Alice, shouldn't you have someone you've known longer than 3 hours, be a bridesmaid? Not that I wouldn't do it, I think you and I will be great friends, but –" I lost words. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but look at the reality. Edward was going home in a few days; maybe a week now, would I see him again? Too complicated to think about, and to heartbreaking to consider. She felt like a sister I never had, but I didn't feel right doing this.
"Oh don't be silly!" She grabbed my hand again, at dragged me towards the bathroom. "After an hour with me, you will be just like another sister! Coming Rose?" Rosalie perked up, smiled, and came and took my other hand as we went into the closest bathroom.
EPOV:
"Uh, Dad .. Thank you for coming. This really means a lot to Bella and myself." My Dad walked over and shook my hand. "Edward, it's not a problem. I'm happy to help." He gave me a smile. "You really care about this girl don't you?" We both looked over at our family, and Bella fit in like it was meant to be. She smiled easily, sitting with my mother and sister. Laughing and talking. She looked at peace, like she hadn't in a long time.
I looked back at him and answered swiftly "Yes, I do" I took a breath, and my eyes wondered. "Dad, she is like ... like no one I've ever known. She's special, and I can't even describe this feeling Dad. I'm writing again, did you know that? I wrote and started playing again! Bella inspires me ..."
My dad's eyes widened, and he looked away. A small smile over took his lips. "Well, Edward, she sounds ... like everything you're looking for is already bonding with your family." He started laughing and I looked over to see Alice and Rosalie dragging Bella into the bathroom. Surprisingly, Bella was smiling. Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. "Son, she has your playing music, and writing again. It's been almost 3 years.. This is more than just a little fling here. Don't let this one go easily ok?" He was right. It had been so long since the accident that I even touched my piano.
The memories of that night flooded back into my mind so fast, and stung my body like I was being tazered. I quickly locked those thoughts away, and tried to answer my dad. He tapped my shoulder again, then grabbed his binder off the desk and went to check on Charlie. I had meant to ask him something, but once again, Bella caught me off guard.
"Oh Dad." Carlisle turned to me, and tiled his head slightly at my tone, questions deep into his knowledgeable eyes. "Uh, so before you go and see Charlie again, you should probably know that he won't accept treatment. Bella tried to tell him to get help, but he is worried that he won't be able to pay for it, that that getting a loan would leave Bella burdened when he ...-" I was rambling by the end of it. I didn't know what to do. Charlie needed help.
"Edward, it's ok. I already knew, and I'll take care of that matter. Why don't you go see where Alice and Rose dragged poor Bella off to?" With a slight smile, he proceeded into Charlie's room and closed the door.
I walked slowly back over into the waiting room, but the girls were still not back yet. "Oh Edward, there in the bathroom sweet heart. Could be a while. Alice got to Bella." She smiled sweetly and patted my hand. She turned to look back at her magazine, and i fidgeted in my seat, wanting to ask her something. She noticed my antagonized expression, and made the first move.
"Sweetie ... is there something you want to talk about?" My mother knew me to well. I knew she knew what I wanted to ask her, but the words couldn't force their way up my throat.
"Edward, i think she is a lovely girl. Full of spunk." Esme laughed lightly. "Alice and even Rosalie have taken a shine to her as well." She took my hand in hers and spoke softly this time. "Edward, she's really incredible, and I can tell she really does care for you. She brightens up at the sound of your name and you seem so much happier these days. It's time to let go of the past, and be happy. Being happy isn't a crime sweetie." She soothed me, and i really did feel better, she was right.
She went back to reading her magazine while I pondered over what she said. Alice suddenly appeared around the women's bathroom door, a huge smile on her face. She cleared her throat a few times until everyone looked over at her. "Everyone let me introduce you to the new and improved, Bella Sawn" she stuck her arms out like Vana White, and waited for Bella to come. Alice poked her head in the door and said something fast to Rosalie. Bella came stumbling out. My breath was stuck in my throat.
Bella stood in the hallway, blush over taking her cheeks, and her eyes met mine. Her hair was a curly ocean that swept over her shoulders and down her back. It framed her tiny, porcelain face. Her makeup was soft and suddle, but made her bright eyes, brighter and even more beautiful. She wore a form fitting wine coloured red tube top and a black leather jacket over it. Her dark fitted jeans and black heals made her look so sexy. And to finish her off, Alice placed a few bulky necklaces over Bella's head. Bella blushed again, but I was speechless.
She stumbled over to me and I caught her hand. "Thanks" she mumbled. "Bella "*gulp* "you look ..." Alice piped in "PERFECT". Bella just stared at the ground, but a small smiled pulled at her lips.
I put my hand under her chin and brought her eyes up to mine. She smelled of vanilla and butter cream. It swam in my head and made my knees weak. We walked slowly, never leaving our locked eyes, and sat in the waiting room chairs. Alice took my family away, excuse about getting some "lunch", probably giving us some suddle 'alone time'.
Bella sat quietly just staring off down the hall at them walking away. I leaned over and kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear "you look beautiful. You always do." She smiled under the touch of my lips and leaned back so her head was resting on my chest. I wound my arms around her and we just sat there, totally content to be together.
A while late, my family came back to the waiting room, asking if Carlisle was done yet. "No news yet." We both answered at the same time. Emmett hit Jasper in the side and Esme shot Alice a look. Everyone smiled at us. Alice came over and handed us both a coffee and sat down.
I sat there watching my family and Bella. She flowed into the mix of us like she had always been here. She had only known them for maybe 4 hours, but she seemed content. She joked with Emmett, sat quietly with Jasper, already bonded with Alice and Rosalie, and now sat talking with my mother. My father's voice brought me back to earth.
"Bella, can I speak with you for a moment?" She glanced at me quickly, fear stricken in her eyes. I nodded once, and smiled slightly. She took a deep breath and got up. "Uh sure." She said hesitantly. She walked over to him and he put his hand lightly on her shoulder. He looked over his shoulder into Charlie's room a few times, and Bella looked worried. I wish I knew what they were talking about. Suddenly her hand flew to her face and she was .... crying? Oh no! I stood up quickly and was about to run over, when she threw her arms around Carlisle and she was laughing.
Everyone was looking at them now. A range of emotions n their faces as well. Carlisle hugged her back. This was a sight I wouldn't have wanted to miss in a thousand years.
Bella turned to look at me, tears of joy in here beautiful eyes, and a heartbreaking smile on her lips. She half ran over to me and threw her arms around me now and just kept repeating "thank you!" over and over. I pulled away and looked at her, my eyebrows rose and confusion crossed my face. "You lost me.." she laughed at my bewildered expression and quickly said. "Edward, your father is paying for private health care for Charlie. Thank you!" She hugged me again "Bella, my father is paying for it not me." I still hadn't clued in to why she was thanking me. "Edward, he said that it was your idea, so thank you." She let me go, and ran to thank Esme. I still had a blank look on my face. I looked to my father for clarification and he just winked at me and walked back into Charlie's room.
THREE DAYS LATER
BPOV:
It had been three days since Carlisle had informed me that he would take care of Charlie, and pay for all the care. Immediately, I was thrilled Charlie might get better, but it also tugged on the Edward string in my heart. Would this mean he was staying longer? School was starting in just a month now. Obviously his "one week" stay was extended for a few extra, but what happens now?
Edward drove me home from the hospital while Carlisle drove my dad. He was able to go home today, and I couldn't be happier. The house felt so empty without him there. Edward had such a big heart, that he went to the house one night and really cleaned the kitchen for me. I hadn't remembered to go and clean up, but when Edward had brought me home last night, it was clean.
Today as we drove, my heart was heavy with the thoughts of" what happens now?" Edward drove slowly, his hand in mine. He too was just too quiet. I looked over at him, and he too looked tense. His eyes met mine, and I smiled and looked away. How was I going to bring this up? "Uh Edward ..." What do I say?
"Bella, before you say anything, I need to tell you something..." Oh no, here we go. Break up. Tears threatened to come crashing over my rims, but I sucked in a breath to keep them from coming. "Bella ... we need to talk about some things. Carlisle is going to be here almost every day and , I uh." He didn't have the words to say it.
"You want to break up?" I asked quietly. Edward suddenly stopped the car. I jerked forward then looked at him. His eyes were full and wide staring at me. "You ... you want to breakup? I was going to say, what happens now. Oh ... if that's what you want then –" I stared at him then blurt out "NO NO I don't want to break up, I thought you were going to break up with me." We both sat back and took a breath. Edward started driving again and spoke slowly. "Ok well that's good to know." Was he angry? "Edward, what's wrong?"
"What makes you think I wanted to end this?" He wouldn't meet my eyes, and his hands tightened on the stirring wheel. "I didn't assume you were, I just thought that you maybe .. Forget it. I didn't mean to say that. " I looked to the window. Oh why did I blurt that out! Edward was angry now. Good going Bella. "Bella, what kind of person do you think I am!? Someone who just shows up and stays with you through everything, and then just leave? That makes hardly any sense Bella."
"Edward, I don't think you're any of those things. I just have a record of people leaving me when things get hard ok!" I was screaming at him now, and I instantly felt guilty. "Stop the car" I growled at him. He didn't slow. "EDWARD STOP THE CAR NOW!" he looked angry now. He hit the break instantly.
"Don't you dare blame me for the people that leave you Bella." He tried to keep his voice level, but anger was brewing below his cold voice. I shot him a glance and opened the car door. I slammed it and started walking. The house wasn't far now.
Edward was such a jerk. How could he think I was blaming him for the people that hurt me? I was trying to protect my heart from being broken, and him from trying to not hurt me. I never wanted to see him again. I took off my heals and started running. I stumbled a lot as I ran to the house. My truck was parked at the side of the road, I didn't think, I just got in and drove. Edward hadn't moved the car. I didn't care I just drove past him into the night. How could I be so stupid and trusting? Of course he was to perfect.
Carlisle and my father drove past me, confusion reading in their eyes. My eyes finally let the ocean of tears flow down my cheeks. My chest was heaving heavily over and over. I couldn't breathe and I felt like my whole frame was shaking violently. I pulled over to the side of the road, unable to see anything now. The truck idled there for a few minutes until the sobs stopped.
I looked around and found myself parked at the beach. Oh .. this is perfect. Just the memories I didn't want to remember now. I got out of the truck and slammed it's door too. There was a large blanket in the back from a few days ago. I grabbed it, and started walking down the sand. I didn't care that the truck was still running. The sun was gone and the black was inviting. I sat near the edge of the water and wrapped the blanket around me. I wrapped my arms around my core and held on. This pain had to end soon.
I don't know how long I sat there. Fuming over how much I hated Edward at this moment. He didn't know anything. He was just like every guy that had ever come into my life. Whether it was my father not fighting for me when my mother wanted to leave, or Jacob leaving me those few years back. Everyone leaves. It was a simple fact. Edward could just go home. Summer flings end sometime right. Then it would be as if he never existed. Ouch. That struck a chord. Tears were slowly falling down my cheeks again, but i wiped them away. I needed to forget him. He was probably half way home by now. The numb feeling in my heart grew stronger at the feeling of his absence. What had I done?
The sun looked like it was only a few minutes away from rising. My self wallowing had to end sometime. I had been here all night. I needed to go home. Charlie would be worried. He was important now. My silly heart would just have to wait. I stretched from my positing and got up. I kept the blanket around my arms and turned to walk back to my truck.
Edward was sitting in the sand a few metres away. He had his knees up and his elbows resting on them. His hands folding into fists and his chin on them. He looked at me and his face was drawn. He didn't move as I kept walking. I was debating walking past him, but my anger was gone. I just felt numb now. I walked up the beach towards him, and stopped right beside him.
Slowly I sat down and just looked to the water. The sun was just rimming the horizon of water. I felt his eyes on me, but I didn't return the gaze. We sat there for a few more minutes this way before I finally spoke.
"How did you find me?" It wasn't meant to be a hard question, but he was slow to answer. I had to finally turn my gaze to him, and his eyes nearly broke my heart. His eyes were blood shot and rimmed in tears. My cold shield broke and my face softened. He sniffed and wiped his nose before answering.
"Well, I went to the house to tell my dad I was leaving, and he told me I needed to just go somewhere and think things over before I just leave. He told Charlie that you would probably be gone for a while, so don't worry. He knows. Well, I don't know town very well, and I didn't know where you had gone, so I came here to think about what I had said to you, and what I would say the next time I saw you. Well I got here, and saw that your truck was still running. I was going to keep driving, but i saw that you weren't in there. So i turned off your truck and just came and sat down." I kept my eyes on him while he finished.
"So, I saw that you were crying over there, and I wanted to come and tell you goodbye, but I just couldn't do it. I just sat here and watched you crying and I didn't know how to tell you goodbye, because I don't want to." He finally met my eyes and he was crying again. Well that sent me a whole new wave of tears. "Bella, I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said.
I scrambled over into his arms and just hugged him tight. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything. It's not your fault. I'm so sorry." I moved my lips to his and kissed him fiercely. His arms pulled me into his lap and held me tight. Our breath became erratic as we made out in the sand. My fingers wound tightly into his hair and I pulled him closer. I wound my legs around him and moulded to him. His hand held my neck firmly and his other hand pulled at the small of my back.
All of my anger towards him was gone. I pulled away from the kiss and said to him. "Edward I love you." And he spoke back to me "I love you." He picked us both up as I kept my legs wound around him. He pulled my lips back to his as we walked us back up the beach to the cars. The thought of "what happens now?" came back into my mind, and I instantly knew the answer. We would stay together. It didn't matter how far. I would stay with him, and he with me.
I broke the kiss when he set me down at the truck and grabbed a hold of his neck. "to answer your question from last night, what happens now is you and I stay together. Edward I do love you, as crazy as it is, I love you. I don't want this to end. We can make it work. "
He leaned his forehead in and whispered"I couldn't agree more" and he pulled his lips back to mine one more time.
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