hey everyone... sorry for the longgggg wait. here it is!! enjoy and dont hurt me!! tehe.

rach.

BPOV:

The doctor put the cool jelly on my suddle bump of a stomach. Edward held my hand while we watched the screen waiting for the image to pop up. I was nearly 2 months now. These past weeks had gone by so fast. I couldn't believe how anxious I was getting. Edward looked as if he could read my thoughts. He mouthed "I love You." And gave me a reassuring hand squeeze.

While I waited for the image to resolve, images of the past few weeks came rushing through my mind. Telling Charlie, going to the Cullen's and telling them, calling my mother. That one was the worst! Charlie was shocked, very shocked. Nearly shot Edward I think, but eventually the thought of him being a grandpa calmed him, and he started breathing again. He wasn't happy, but I think secretly, he was enjoying the idea. The Cullen's were open minded and happy for us, promising to do whatever they could to help us out. Esme gave me some of Edward's things from when he was a baby. It brought tears to my eyes. I was welcomed. I hugged and thanked Esme for this precious gift.

Well my mother handled is worse than I would have thought. She told me I was making a huge mistake, and that I betrayed her trust. First moving in with Edward and not telling her, then being reckless and irresponsible. Edward tried calming her down as well, but it did little. She was getting on a plane and coming to Washington if it weren't for Charlie. He called her after seeing how our conversation had affected me. He told her she was over reacting and if she wanted to be in this child's life, she should just respect my wishes and be supportive. It wasn't like I was 13 or anything.

Edward thanked Charlie with the sincerest meanings. "Charlie, I know that this isn't the news you were hoping for, and I take full responsibility for this. But I love your Daughter sir. So I thank you for standing up for us. I promise I will take care of Bella and this baby to the fullest of my ability and beyond. "

Charlie was won over, as everyone was, when Edward spoke to them. Everyone had the same reactions when we told them. Edward and I decided that we would only tell our closest friends. We didn't need millions of people knowing, but if Alice knew, everyone knew.

I loved Alice as my own sister, but that girl had the biggest mouth, and biggest ideas. She had broken into our apartment and created the baby's room and filled the rooms with things I may need, or things the baby would want. All of our friends knew before we could even tell them. Shock, congratulations, and party planning was becoming the reactions from everyone.

Slowly, one by one, the days grew less and less uncomfortable with stares, and was filled with acceptance and helpful hands. Jase offered to pick up lab work and work at our place and not in the college's science labs, leaving Edward home more often if I needed anything. Angela came over every week and offered to help with assignments and cleaning anytime I needed. Mostly though, we just ended up sitting on the couch talking while the boy's worked.

Charlie came around more often, and I received daily calls from my mother. She tried her best to be supportive and ask how I was feeling. She still seemed angry, but trying to listen to Charlie. I also got many calls from Esme and Alice. They came over few times a week always eager to decorate or go shopping for clothes or baby things. Edward and I agreed that they could do as they pleased. No one could stop them anyways. Not even if you tried. Might as well make them happy.

Edward grew anxious about me every day. He was very sweet asking if I needed anything, or asking how I felt. He was going to make a great dad. Day by day I grew more scared about the coming months. I was happy about this baby and I loved them, I just wasn't sure if I would be a good mom.

Edward's cool hand on my cheek brought me out of my day dream and back into the doctor's office.

"The baby looks healthy, good heart rate already. Would you like to know the sex?" The doctor looked to us, and Edward met my eyes. In silent agreement, we decided not to know the sex. The wait would be worth it. The doctor finished up and left us alone.

"How are you feeling love? Do you need something?" Always worrying. Edward helped me off the table and put my sweater back on.

"Uh, no I'm great." I said. A small nudge hit me from inside, and it set me into panic. I turned away from Edward so he wouldn't read the terror in my eyes. "Uh i need to use the rest room, i'll be right back." I ran out of the room as fast as i could. Not bothering to hear his response, i ran into the closest bathroom and locked the door.

Leaning up against it, tears began to fall down my hot cheeks. I'm not ready for this. I didn't want to be a mom at my age! How was Edward so god damn happy about this!? This isn't a miracle, its a nightmare. I don't want this baby! I didn't from the start. Yeah. I said that I was happy for Edward's sake, but I hate this baby!

I looked into the mirror at my reflection, and felt ashamed. A mother should never feel this way about her baby. What's wrong with me? I wiped the tears away and took a deep breath. Its nerves. Just nerves. This is Edward's baby, perfect as he is. I love him. Don't be a coward! I turned around and marched right out of that bathroom and right back to Edward's warm, loving smile.

"Hey Angela. It's Bella. Can i talk to you for a sec?" I closed the bathroom door and hoped to go Edward didn't come in.

"Sure Bells, What's up? You alright? Is the baby ok?"

"Angela, is it horrible of me to not feel right about this baby?"

"What do you mean?"

"Angela, is it bad that I don't want this baby?"

There was a long pause before she answered.

"Bella, why are you asking me this?"

"Well, a few weeks ago, at the doctors appointment, well I just got this rash feeling of pure hate for this baby, and I thought it was just nerves, but it's not going away, and my 9 months are almost over. Im getting bigger and I don't know if its worth this." I was almost in tears as i said those words.

"Have you talked to Edward about this?" She sounded as if i were some small child.

"Well, no. He is so excited about the baby, what if he thinks this relationship is a mistake if I cant even handle the fact that were having a baby?"

"You need to talk to him Bella. Your just afraid. Your going to be an amazing mom Bells. You're not going to be your parents."

"I guess you're right. Hey i better go, Edward might come looking for me. Thank you, and im sorry i just said that. Im just freaking out."

"It's understandable."

"See ya later."

"Bye sweetie."

I got off the floor and walked towards the bed room, in search of my baby book. Maybe there was something in there to help with the freak outs. Opening the door, Edward's mortified face and anguished filled eyes locked on mine.

"You don't want our baby?" was all he said.

I stopped dead in my tracks. He had heard me. He didn't understand. Oh god what had i done!?

"Edward its not like it sounds. I'm just freaking out. Of course I want our baby" Tears were flowing fresh and fast down my face. I tried stepping forward to touch him, but he became angry and back away.

"You never wanted to be pregnant and weren't happy when you found out. That's why you never told me." His hands went up and clenched into fists. "I'm such an idiot." Edward turned and stormed out of the room grabbing his keys.

I ran after him. "Please Edward don't leave. I was freaking out. Im scared but it doesn't mean I don't want them. Please listen to me." I was crying so hard. Edward opened the door, without another word and slammed it behind him. I fell to the floor and clutched my stomach. Sobs were shaking my whole frame. Edward's name came through my cries over and over.

I had never meant for him to know that I was doubting this pregnancy. I would doubt myself as a parent. I hated this baby because I knew I could never be the parent they deserved. I should have never told Angela this. I wasn't explaining it right. Edward was gone, and the scary thing was, I didn't know if he was going to come back.

EPOV:

I stormed out of the door and down the hall way. How could this be happening?! This was my baby, our baby, and she has the nerve to tell someone else and not me, that she isn't ready. I bet she thought I would never know.

I got to the car and didn't think, just drove out of the lot and blazed down the street. She didn't want to be honest with me and just say, 'im not ready', then fine, i didn't need to tell her what i was about to do.

Driving faster and faster towards the highway, i had my plan in motion before i could even think it. Bella wasn't the same person to me anymore. Someone who I loved so much, who i wanted to marry and have a family with, was not only ready, but was probably planning to get rid of it and just say it was a miscarriage. I was fuming when I realized that my stop was nearing.

I took a sharp right and skidded to a stop. The house looked empty, but I knew he would be home. Ripping the keys out of the ignition, I left the car. The ground was soft and green, just like after the rain, and my feet sunk into the mud. Step by step up the stairs, I knew what I would say.

Raising my hand to bang on the door, it opened, and a tired looking Jacob Black appeared. "Hello?" he said, looking very confused and red eyed.

A million things came to my head on what to say, but all that came out was , "You can have her." My voice sounded furious and full of regret. Jacob's jaw hit the floor. I turned and left for my car.

"Wait! What do you mean, 'you can have her" ? aren't you her baby daddy or something?" He was clearly hoping I would say otherwise, but I slowly turned to him and responded simply.

"She doesn't want it.. I don't want her."

Jacob didn't respond as I closed the car door and started the car, peeling out of the mud and towards my family's house.

Pulling into the driveway, Alice was waiting for me, arms crossed and tears in her eyes. I knew Bella had gotten to Alice already. Great! I waited few moments before turning off the car. Alice never moved an inch, but she wouldn't wait forever. Reluctantly, i got out of the car and went to face her.

"Are you ok?" thankfully is all she said.

"No"

She followed behind me into the house where everyone was waiting.

Esme and Carlisle just put a hand on my shoulder, but I didn't want sympathy. I shook them off and shoved past Emmett, headed to my room. Rosalie grabbed my hand and put a tiny note into my palm. I just kept walking.

Closing and locking my door, I fell to the floor and let all my emotions run. Anger, hurt, regret, betrayal, lost, heart break. I thought she was the one I would share my life with, the mother of our baby. Tears slowly fell from my eyes and down my cheeks. Rosalie's note crinkled in my fist.

I know you won't believe me on this, and I'm not a fan of Bella, but I talked to her. She wasn't telling Angela that she didn't want the baby; she was just afraid she wouldn't be a good mom and let you down. Trust me, I don't like Bella, but I don't want you losing her. She makes you happy.

Rose.

She was right. I didn't believe her, but she made a good point. Rosalie never liked Bella from the moment they met. So why would she be defending her?

Going through everything, logic came to mind. Angela ..

"ring, ring... ring, ring ... ring.. hello?"

"Angela?"

"this is."

"It's Edward. I need to talk to you."

"Sure, what's up? Everything ok?"

"Well clearly Bella hasn't talked to you yet."

"Sorry I've been out all day. What's wrong? Is it the baby?"

"No, the baby is fine. Angela, what were you and Bella talking about on the Phone earlier this morning?"

.....

"Bella was saying that she was worried she wouldn't be a good parent. Could she handle it.. just being a first time mom. She didn't say this, but she's worried about letting you down if she isn't a good parent. I'm sorry. Bella is going to murder me for telling you this."

Rosalie was right. What have I done!?

"Uh ang, she won't care. Thank you. I have to go."

"uh ok by-"

*click*

I dropped the phone on the floor and ran for the door. Rosalie was waiting by the staircase.

"I swear to god this is the only time I will ever defend her. I want you happy, and that baby to have a dad. So ... just go." Rosalie rolled her eyes and went into the kitchen. I dug for my keys and ran for the car.

I knew she would be so angry with me, and Jacob more than likely had already called her and told her what I had done. Oh god what have I done!? I floored the gas pedal. I had to apologize, make this right. How had I accused her so quickly? Why didn't I just ask!?

I looked at the clock. 4:54pm. I had been gone for 6 hours by now. Oh god.

I sped down the highway faster than I had ever driven. I was almost at the apartment. I called the house again, and still no answer. Going faster, I pulled into the parking garage.

I ran as fast as I could, pushing past people, up to the elevator, waiting anxiously as the numbers slowly reached our floor. I was losing my mind. Finally the doors opened, and I was off. The door was open about half an inch.

"Bella I'm –"

Jacob black was standing over a very unconscious and bleeding Bella.