AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Your feedback keeps me going, so thank you so much!

This chapter has important conversations, so pay attention!

WARNINGS: Language, Controversial Topics, Dark Themes, Sex, Violence, Blood

ENJOY!

****

While Grace was off taking her walk, Sam headed into the kitchen to talk to Dean and smiled at Bobby as Bobby wheeled out of the room. Bobby had said everything to Dean that he could think of right then, and he decided that it was time to go ahead and get Grace some closure—some answers. It couldn't be that her mother and her aunt kept everything from her and Jeremy…Jeremy had to know something, and if he did, then Bobby wanted Jeremy to take to Grace about it.

Sam simply wanted to talk to Dean about what was going on with him because he was tired of keeping things all bottled up inside of him. He thought that the healthiest thing to do was talk to Dean about how he was feeling, even if Dean didn't want to—and Grace and Miranda agreed with that. Dean looked at his brother and had a pretty good idea of what was coming and he just sighed and drank his coffee because Dean didn't want to deal with all of this, but he knew he'd have to talk about it eventually.

"What's on your mind, Sammy?" Dean asked him, setting his cup of coffee on the table and looking at him. "You have that look on your face."

Sam nodded and smiled a little. "I figure I should just lay all of it out there and then we're having this out, Dean."

"I guess that's fair." Dean said nodding wanting to know what exactly was going on with Sam.

They both knew that they needed to talk about everything that had happened—especially recently—and though it was going to be hard, it had to be done. Sam knew he'd have to start them off, so he ran his fingers through his hair momentarily, and took a deep breath, trying to figure out where to start. He decided that it was best to lay it all out there and to just make sure that Dean was even going to be one hundred percent receptive to it all...Sam had to try because he wanted his brother back.

"All the loss and the pain that you're going through over Ellen and Jo and everyone else we've lost, Dean—I feel it too." Sam explained, shaking his head. "Honestly though? I don't think that's our main problem…I don't think that's my main problem."

Dean nodded slowly. "I don't think it's our main problem either."

"Dean, I was so hungry…you saw how bad it was for me, Dean—I mean you had to handcuff me." Sam said softly, and Dean knew he was ashamed of all it. "You heard Cas: he said that everyone was starving for something, and I knew that I needed to be restrained and you knew that I was trying to stay away from it."

"Yeah, and I've been proud of you, Sammy." Dean replied, looking up to make eye contact with his brother.

Sam nodded sadly. "Yeah…but you know something, Dean? Part of me wanted the demon blood even without the hunger, and it's that part of me that scares me sometimes, you know? I had so much power when I was on the stuff, and I know it's just a drug, but Dean…Dean I felt like I was strong again—I felt like I was your equal."

Dean nodded and he looked at the countertop as Sam paused and took a breath. It felt good to get it all off of his chest and explain things, but he wasn't sure exactly how Dean was taking all of it—what Dean thought about what he was laying out there. Sam didn't want Dean to be disappointed in him, but Sam was disappointed in himself and he needed to explain himself—he needed to have more communication with him than he'd had in the past, and this was the way to do it.

"You don't feel like you're my equal?" Dean asked Sam, and Sam knew he was hurt. "How can you think that, Sammy?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders. "I told you before that I went off with Ruby because it was a way to get away from you—part of that was true. I always feel like I'm walking around in your shadow—like you don't think I can take care of myself."

"You're my little brother, Sam!" Dean exclaimed, looking at him, pain in his eyes. "I have to protect you!"

"But can't you do that and treat me like I'm strong, Dean?" Sam asked him honestly. "Dean, you're constantly asking me if I'm all right, or if I'm feeling okay—you're constantly watching me like a hawk, wondering—waiting—to see if I'm going to snap again, and though I can't blame you based on my past mistakes, I just…"

Sam trailed off and he shook his head, both of them feeling the pain in their hearts constrict a little. They were sad, but the conversation was important and Dean nodded because it was true—everything that Sam was telling him about himself was true and it just made Dean feel more and more responsible. He'd left Sam to go to Hell—he'd done monstrous things in Hell—and when he came back, all he'd succeeded in doing was push Sam farther and farther away because he was afraid.

"I was scared, Sammy." Dean said softly, Sam looking up at him and looking at him questioningly. "After what Dad said about me having to save you or kill you…in the back of my mind I've always felt like I had to protect—protect you from demons, protect you from yourself. I'm sorry if that's been making you feel inferior. You're not inferior, Sam—you're not even weak. You've been doing so well staying away from demon blood, and even though you snapped, that was Famine—Famine wanted you to eat."

Sam nodded and then ran his fingers through his hair again. "I'm afraid I'm going to snap again, Dean…and what if I do?"

"You won't." Dean said, shaking his head. "You won't because you're stronger than you think you are. Hell, Sammy, you've said my ass plenty a time and you watch out for me even when I don't watch out for myself—this thing we have is more than just a partnership…it's family, and I trust you with my life."

"I needed to hear that, Dean." Sam admitted, smiling a little.

Dean nodded too, a small smile on his as well. "I think for once this caring and sharing actually did us some good."

Sam couldn't help but agree with him as Bobby pulled out his phone and took a deep breath. He had a feeling that Jeremy didn't want anything to do with him after everything Grace had been through—after all of the pieces of her life that Jeremy had had to help to pick up, and even though Grace was forgiving him, Jeremy had no reason to. Still, this was about Grace, and Jeremy couldn't just ignore that, could he? There was something else going on with her, and Bobby needed help—help he couldn't ask for from Sam or Dean…help that could only come from Grace's family.

"Hello?" Jeremy answered, wanting to know this unknown number.

Bobby took a deep breath. "Hi, Jeremy, it's me—your Uncle Bobby."

**

Grace ran her fingers through her hair and looked at Thea, wishing she knew exactly what to say to this angel sitting next to her. Instead she looked over at the kids playing on the monkey bars and the swings, and Thea watched her, smiling at her kindly. Thea didn't want Grace to come to any harm, she just wanted Grace to understand and it was really about time that she talked to her. It had been far too long, and Thea knew that Grace needed to understand what was happening, and she wanted to answer all of her questions.

"You know…my best friend's name is Emma—just like your vessel." Grace said, watching as a mother went to the aid of her little boy who had fallen and scraped his knee. "You seem…I dunno…different from the other angels."

Thea smiled a little. "Well I'm not here to demand things out of you."

"I can see that." Grace told her, looking at her and taking a shaky breath. "So, uh…you hear to tell me about my mother?"

"Yes…if you want me to." Thea replied, looking Grace in the eye. "It pains you to talk about her."

Grace nodded at that. "Of course it does…I only got to know her for a really short period of time and then I watched my father kill her…it's a painful subject for me but it's all that I can think about."

Grace felt the tears pooling in her eyes and she bit her lip and looked away from the kind and loving angel to regain her composure. She took deep breaths and she used her sleeves to blot her eyes, not wanting to cry while the children were playing not too far off and then she looked back at Thea, who had scooted closer to her. The angel was so kind, and Grace didn't understand it, but she trusted this one more than the others—and she wanted to know why Thea was here…why now.

"So…what did you come to tell me?" Grace asked her. "I want…I want to know about my mother."

Thea nodded slowly. "Would you like to have this conversation some place more private? I want you to be comfortable."

"I'm all right her, Thea…I just want some answers." Grace replied, smiling even though Thea could tell she felt like crying a little more.

"Your mother was beautiful and she was strong and independent—and she loved you very much." Thea told Grace, smiling at her. "She was supposed to be my vessel, but she didn't want to leave you, Grace. She wanted to have a family and a life, and she wanted so desperately to just raise you and have a life with you and your father. So I was her friend, but since I wasn't getting my job done, I had to leave and seek out another vessel and the demons caught on. They caught on and one of them possessed your mother…your father didn't understand, and he didn't know what to do, but he did what he had to do to protect you. I went to your aunt, the next one in my line of choices but she blamed me for not protecting your mother—for following orders and not being there to help. Emma accepted me…Emma wanted to help me to reach out to you…to explain to you why Lucifer wants to use you as a vessel."

Grace nodded and scooted closer to Thea, wanting the close comforting contact. "I'd like to know the answer to that as well."

"It's simple, Grace—you're strong and you get things done. You're a hunter and yet you have a habit of facing things. Dealing with problems, helping people through their pain—you make bonds with people and they trust you. What other face would Lucifer want but yours?" Thea asked her. "Yes, he wants Sam, and someday he will get Sam to say 'yes' to him, but for now…for now he wants you. He wants someone that others will trust…he wants someone that has felt the betrayal of their father as closely as you have—he wants someone that understands him."

Grace nodded, her bottom lip trembling and she leaned her head on Thea's shoulder. Almost with a motherly comfort, Thea held her and stroked her hair, whispering to Grace that things would be all right if she just believed that…if she just didn't lose sight of what was the most important. There was just one more question that Grace had and she hated asking it, but she knew that she had to or she'd never truly be at peace.

"In this apocalyptic war…Dean has to say 'yes'…doesn't he?" Grace asked Thea.

Thea nodded slowly. "Without him we're defeated. They can kill the Horsemen if they want, but the Horsemen usher in the Apocalypse. Even dead, what they've started can just be reinforced by Lucifer. Yeah, they stopped War and Famine before they could scourge the world with their plagues, but Pestilence and Death will not be as easy, and you still have Lucifer to think about. This planet is at war, Grace…and it will continue to be at war until Lucifer is defeated."

"So where is Michael in all of this?" Grace asked, pulling back and looking at Thea. "When is he going to show himself and talk it out with Dean?"

"Patience, Grace…patience." Thea told her, smiling a little. "I will be in touch…I just needed to make contact."

Grace nodded and thanked her softly, nodding when Thea was gone and turning back to watch the kids for a little while longer. Then she took a deep breath and headed back home, opening up the door to see Sam and Dean watching TV and sharing beers together, which made her feel a lot better. She wished so whole-heartedly that the two of them would talk and be happy and he just wanted to be close to someone and forget all of the emotional baggage she was carrying.

"What are you watching?" Grace asked them, sitting on the couch and snuggling into Dean when he wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

Sam chuckled and smiled at the two. "Not a soap—though Dean tried."

"You're into soaps?" Grace asked Dean, who was shooting Sam a look.

"He loves them…a little too much, I think." Sam replied, sipping his beer.

Grace laughed and Bobby smiled as he watched the three interact, paying close attention to their body language. Dean cared so much for his brother, and Sam cared so much for Dean in return, but mostly, Bobby was noticing how easily the two had accepted Grace into their lives. They genuinely cared about her, and wanted to be near her, and it made Bobby feel happy inside to know that the four of them could be a family—even if it was a little broken still. Mainly, though…Bobby noticed the look of pure, unadulterated fondness that Dean held in his eyes when he looked at Grace.

**

Jeremy really wasn't sure about what he was being asked to do—he wasn't sure if he really wanted to do as Bobby asked him. At the same time, Jeremy understood that this was for Grace, and Grace had been there for him when no one else had been and he knew he couldn't let her down…he knew that in figuring out her past—in deciding her future—she needed information that his mother had locked away. His mother and Grace's had been involved in something bigger than him or Grace, and if he was going to unlock the answers, then he might as well do them with his cousin.

Grace and Jeremy might as well have been brother and sister. They had done everything together—played, studied, teased, annoyed, loved platonically and unconditionally—if Bobby hadn't have killed Grace's mother, Jeremy was certain that he and Grace never would have been as close as they had become. There were certainly days back in the beginning where he had wished his cousin's long vacation with him and his mother would end, but as he grew older and he appreciated her more, he knew he never would have traded those days for anything.

"In all honesty it's not even Bobby's fault." Jeremy said slowly as he packed his things.

Jeremy knew that he couldn't blame Bobby for killing Grace's mother—Bobby didn't know what to do back then. Hunting wasn't part of his life, and Grace's mother wanted Grace to grow up normally…even though she knew that someday Grace would need to understand what kind of things were being set into motion. She had journals, and her sister, Carrie, had journals, and now it was Jeremy's turn to be involved. He was just as much a potential vessel as Grace was, and it was about time he and Grace did one more thing together—figured out what it was that their mothers had been hiding from them all of their lives.

Sure the two knew most things, but there were still questions that needed answers and he knew that together he and Grace could figure out anything—that was how they'd lived their whole lives together. They'd seen each other through everything: sickness, significant others, hard tests, death of pets, death of family and friends, bad zits…it was time for him to rejoin her once again and help her to sort out her future. Besides—Jeremy had already been visited by Thea and he knew it was only a matter of time before Bobby got himself involved.

Actually, Jeremy found it pleasing to know that Bobby cared so much for his daughter—that he and Grace had formed a bond. He knew how hard it had been for Grace to adjust to life without her parents, and he knew how hard it was for Grace to love her father so much and yet despise everything about him. There had been nights where Grace would cry herself to sleep in her room and though as a whole it got better, Grace always carried that around inside of her. Everything just manifested after Jeremy lost his mother, and then Grace felt like she had to find her father—had to find answers because Lucifer has presented her with so many questions.

"I just hope Grace is okay." Mary told Jeremy, smiling at him softly. "How long are you going to be gone this time?"

Jeremy looked at his fiancée as she leaned on the doorframe of their room, watching him shove things into a duffle. He smiled softly at her and then walked over to her and kissed her softly, running his fingers along her stomach and nuzzling her nose with his. He'd found it lucky that he'd found someone who could know all his secrets and still accept him, and yet it broke him every time he left her. Still, she understood that Grace was his family, and she got that she needed to do this and she was going to support him through thick and thin.

"I'm going to make this trip as quick as possible, Mary." Jeremy said, kissing her softly again. "You sure you don't want to come?"

Mary smiled at him. "I'm going to stay here, Jer—I still have planning to do for the wedding, and my Dad's flying in so…be careful, all right?"

"Promise." Jeremy told her, grabbing his duffle and kissing her one last time before heading out—he just hoped that Grace was doing all right.

Grace took a deep breath as she thought over her conversation with Thea, looking up as Dean rapped his knuckles on her door and opened it up slowly. She smiled at him and then the smile faded, Dean shutting the door behind him and swallowing. There were things for them to discuss, but at the same time Dean wasn't sure if he could do any more of this 'caring and sharing' today…he was pretty 'care and shared' out.

"You and Sam looked pretty patched up." Grace told him smiling.

Dean nodded and smiled a little too. "Yeah…he and I talked and it was a good thing, surprisingly."

"I think you still have some talking in you." Grace said, getting off of her bed and crossing over to him. "I saw Thea today."

"And you're just now telling me?!" Dean asked her suddenly. "What about Bobby and Sam? Have you told them?"

Grace shook her head and opened her mouth to say something but then she shut it and she bit her lip. There was so much to tell him and just not enough time and besides—Grace wanted to know what was up with him. Dean was troubled and he was sad, and yet he never talked to her about any of it and Grace knew they hadn't known each other very long, but she didn't like feeling like he didn't trust her. She wanted him to be able to open up to her…she wanted him to be able to feel like he could come to her.

"She and I had a pleasant conversation, actually." Grace admitted slowly. "She'll be in contact, and I'm sure some more of my past will be drudged up."

Dean nodded knowingly. "The past has a way of coming back."

"Dean?" Grace asked him.

"Yeah, Grace?" Dean answered automatically.

Grace took a deep breath. "I know you haven't know me long enough to entirely trust me, but I'd like to think that we're close enough that you can tell me things. Remember when we first met and I told you I thought you looked like you needed some time to think? I'm good at reading people, Dean…and you look lost and sad and I want you to know that you can always come to me. I'm always going to be here to listen to what you have to say—I genuinely want to help you in any way that I can, all right?"

Dean could feel a tightness in his chest building and he just nodded, feeling something he hadn't felt in years. He hated having such deep and meaningful conversations, but she was looking up at him so strongly and yet so fondly, and Dean found that he just couldn't keep anything in, any more. Grace wanted to be a part of his life, even if it was just to be his friend and to help him through his problems, and though he didn't want her to have to share his burdens, he found the words just spilling out to her.

"The first time I knew hunting existed I was five—I walked in on my father shooting one of his friends in the head." Dean explained and Grace's eyes showed shock—shock that he was so young like her, and also shock that he was opening up to her at all. "He got pretty cold after Mom was taken from him and he raised Sammy and I to hunt. He was so angry with the demon and so was I, honestly. Sam and I grew up fighting and hunting and then Sam went his own way and Dad was so focused and driven and I had to do my own thing. In the beginning it was fine, don't get me wrong, but soon we were losing everyone close to us and hunting became this insane way of life and I started to turn. Then I went to Hell and I tortured souls and I enjoyed it and then I was brought back and I've never really felt like I belonged here. I had to watch my brother turn into a monster and I couldn't stop him—couldn't stop him from becoming like the monster I was in Hell…only I was worse. Then there was just more and more loss and I already felt like I was dead—like I was a shell—but then Famine showed and he told me I was dead inside…he just…he just confirmed it all, Grace."

There was so much pain in his voice and tears clouding his vision but he didn't want to cry—she did. She couldn't stop the tears from sliding down her cheeks because she felt for him and she wanted to make him feel better. He hadn't showed her that he was dead inside and she wanted him not to think about it like that because it wasn't true—she didn't believe that it was true. Dean Winchester had a soul, he was just hurt and in a lot of pain and he had things to work through. That didn't mean he was dead inside—he just had to find his way again and live life…not immerse himself in hunting. She opened her mouth to say something, but Dean wasn't done and he just kept going after his pause—he had glanced at her and his heart was warmed to see how much she cared for him.

"It's why I was so upset about you killing the demon." Dean told her shrugging, looking her in the eye even though he knew it would be the end of his composure. "I wasn't mad at you, I was just freaking out because I saw that look in your eyes—I heard the pain in your voice. It was revenge, and it was easy for you and I don't want it to be easy for you, Grace. I don't want this to ruin you like it's ruined me. I don't want you to become dead inside—I don't want you to become like me. You're perfect, Grace—you live your life, you keep a level head, you're optimistic, you're good at reading people, you're helpful, you're kind, you're—"

Dean was cut off by her lips pressing to his, and he found himself starting to cry a little bit, but kissing her back. After spilling his soul to her practically and not expecting anything in return even though he had questions for her, he hadn't actually expected her to want to be close to him anymore. Everything he'd said to her, and she was kissing him, pulling him close to her and wiping his fallen tears away with her thumbs and Dean? Dean didn't want it to end.

"The fact that you're trying contradicts everything that Famine said." Grace told him softly, smiling fondly as Dean opened up his eyes to look at her. "What do you feel right now?"

Dean stroked her hair and kissed her softly. "For the first time in a long time, Grace, I feel calm. I also feel kind of spent."

"I can understand that." Grace replied softly, kissing him and then pulling him gently towards the bed with her. "You can stay in here if you like…"

"I'm taking you up on that offer." Dean said with a smile, kissing her again. "Honestly, right now…I don't know what I'd do without you."

Note: Almost everyone talked that needed to talk…with that said, expect the next couple of chapters to be centered around Grace and Dean, but have other characters in it too. There's also going to be a new character that's also old—but that's all I'll say about that. Feedback is always appreciated!