Summary: Lois has an obsessed meteor freak stalking her and putting her life at risk. In order to protect her, Clark reveals to her his secret and proposes. Proposes to pose as a married couple that is! Do new identities also come with new feelings? Or are these fake too?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Forged I.D.'s and I Do's
by Chinita92
Chapter Six:
CLARIFY
clarify - klar-uh-fahy
–verb (used with object)
1. to make (an idea, statement, etc.) clear or intelligible; to free from ambiguity.
Lois hopped off him and turn to her cousin. "This is NOT what it seems."
Jimmy turned to Clark, waiting for his explanation.
"I, uh..." he said and power walked to the couch, grabbing his jacket. "... need to do some maintenance work on that Central Air Conditioning System." he said covering himself with his jacket. And with that, he stormed out of the room.
Clark turned the corner of the Talon's narrow hallway. He eyed his left, making sure he wasn't within spotting distance from the coffee shop that was established just after the staircase.
He sighed and breathed in and out, his sweaty chest heaving up and down. And then it hit him like a slap in the face... Lois Lane had just turned him on.
Chloe covered Jimmy's eyes as Lois pranced about in the room, trying to find her clothes.
"So excited you couldn't throw it all in one place?" Chloe let out and snickered.
Lois looked at her, an incredulous look forming on her flushed face. " 'Cous, I already endured the uncomfortable explanation that hot stuff out there dumped me with. I swear- IT WAS JUST A GAME!!" Lois yelled out, her eyes pleading for Chloe to believe her, once and for all. Of course, her wise cousin knew there had to be a reasonable explanation as to why she had jumped on Clark (she hoped to god, at least), but she was really just busting her older cousin's chops.
"Riiiight... and that explains why Clark's jeans fit him a lot more snug now than they did before."
She flung her hand to her mouth, practically gagging.. "Oh god, don't go there again. It was enough witnessing it, no need to make me re-live it." Truth is, she had jumped on him, but he didn't have to react... This was Clark they were talking about!
"Well you didn't look that sick to your stomach when I walked in." Chloe said smartly. "In fact, all I saw was your stomach. Wait, make that 2 stomachs!" she said, holding out her index and middle finger proudly. Lois glared daggers at her while squeezing into her low rise denim jeans.
"Can I look now?" bravely protested a blinded Jimmy.
"NO!!" the cousins replied in unison at the curious photographer. Lois swore he mumbled another complain under his breath. He was lucky she was preoccupied at the moment, for really all she wanted was to choke him with that musty camera strap.
Lois then turned her attention to Chloe. She stormed over to her and pulled her shirt out from under her heel. She viciously threw it over her head, her arms wiggling their way out of the tangle that had formed inside. She pulled her hair out from her shirt collar while walking over to her nightstand..
"You can now give the gift of eyesight to your perverted boyfriend." Lois said over her shoulder and shortly after began snaking on her socks while sitting at the edge of the cursed bed.
"Hey! Look who's talking!" Jimmy squawked in his defense.
"You know what, you're right. I AM talking. Now it's both of your turns. First question is directed to my baby cousin," she said, raising a curious eyebrow. "Where did you run off to?" Lois asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She was dying to know why she had deserted Clark an herself at the apartment. Now that she thought about, if Chloe had stayed, none of the recent events would've happened.
"I went to find Jimmy.."
She lifted her eyebrows questionably higher than usual. "Oh really? How interesting... You run off to fool around and leave me with a hormone-raging farm boy!" Lois said, heatedly.
"Hey! I had good intentions!" Chloe said and dug in her pant pocket. She walked over to Lois and roughly placed a pair of black, thick-rimmed glasses on the bridge of her nose.
Lois blinked, perplexed. "First off, Ow! Second: Glasses? Isn't my hair and lack of exuberant make-up enough?"
Chloe opened her mouth to speak when Clark walked back in, his red jacket on. It looked very weird... the infamous red jacket with no vibrant blue under. Then again, Clark never wore a simple jacket over a bare chest.
Lois was still looking around, trying out the glasses, when he stormed in. Her peripheral vision detected movement, causing her vision to shift onto what could've been a model on the cover of a romance novel about a passionate farmer and a lonely Tabloid reporter.
Just when Clark thought Lois couldn't have gotten any sexier (mental slap) he had walked in on her, mind you, fully clothed, wearing a pair of black glasses. Of course, he could not let her in on that tiny piece of information...
"Glasses?" he said to her and began to fake a fit of chuckles.
Lois glared at him behind the black frame, this only making her look cuter- err, that wasn't right.. Sexier! No that wasn't it either. Prettier? Gah. He gave up.
"Actually, Clark..." Chloe said, strolling to her big cousin, removing the eye wear from Lois' face, this time in a gingerly manner. "They're for you."
Clark and Lois looked at each other, a grin playing on the females lips; a smile vanishing off his. "Ha! Now you're officially the nerd I knew you to be!" Lois teased Clark while pointing a finger his way. She grabbed the glasses out of Chloe's grasp and skipped towards Clark, and when reaching him, slid them over his ears. She gave him an evil grin and backed away. Her smile faltered. Damn. He looked hot. Definitely not what she was expecting. He arched a thick dark eyebrow, peeking above the rim of his lenses, his sapphire eyes catching the light against the darkened frame. A gorgeous contrast. She gulped.
"That bad?" he asked, feeling a tad, okay.. a good amount of insecurity. He paced over to the mirror that hung on the entryway. He ran his fingertips over the surface of his hair, smoothing out the dishevelment Lois had inflicted upon him from before. He turned around, and pushed his glasses further up, facing the threesome before him.
"I look like an idiot." he stated dryly.
'No you don't...' Lois thought and began to violently cough. She regained her composure after thinking such horrid things. "...At least you don't look like a familiar idiot.." she said trying to lift, no scratch that.. she very well had every intention of crushing his spirits. Why? She had no friggin' clue.
"Gee, thanks Lois. I knew I could count on you to make me feel better." he said in a humdrum tone.
"Anytime Smallville, well.. except weekends- too busy to care." she said shrugging her shoulders exaggeratedly. She realized that came out a bit harsh. Oh well.
"Well CK, I think you look nothing like yourself, which is the point, right? Seriously! You could pop those on and go on with your life, pretending to be someone else and no one would put two and two together!" Jimmy expressed lightheartedly.
"You really think a simple pair of glasses can do something like that?" Clark asked incredulous.
"I do." Lois said, catching everyone off guard. "If you keep up your little quiet insecure act, I'd buy it." she said honestly.
"Then it's settled." Chloe said happily. "Your physical identities are officially established." she chirped while walking to her bag and when reaching it, took out Jimmy's camera.
"So that's where it went..." Jimmy said, referring as to why he had to take his older camera to work that morning. She laughed nervously and stood in front of Clark and Lois, her back facing her boyfriend.
"Speaking of cameras..." Lois said, her voice trailing off. "I want that picture you took in my hands by the end of the day so I can burn it. Clark here will help assist me with the process." She said, speaking of the priceless snapshot Jimmy took when walking in the apartment, after finding Clark and Lois in a compromising position. Clark's eyes bulged out so much, they threatened to crash into his lens. How could she insinuate his heat vision in front of Jimmy?
"...you know, with holding the fire-resistant garbage can part." Lois said, reading his emotions. At his doubt, she nudged his ribs, but instead of conflicting him pain, the act only caused her some. She glared at him. Damned ribcage of steel.
"Okay. No prob." Jimmy said nervously, and gave them a thumbs up. He made a mental note to give it to Clark instead of Lois, because she would surely bite his head off. He shuddered.
'Scary Woman.'
Lois rubbed her eyes viciously. "I do not remember that flash being this annoying in the alley that night."
"What night?" Chloe asked, prying her heart out.
"Babe, the night she macked on Green Arrow!" he said while inspecting the pair's mug shots on his MacBook. He had bought that Chloe forgot that night and sincerely wanted to help her remember. Silly Jimmy.
Clark stiffened. He hated when this topic came up.
"Oh yes. I remember that night so well. How can I possibly forget?" Lois said dryly. "I dream about that damned Jolly Green Giant in my sleep!" she said, not too pleased that an enigma could toy with her subconscious with just one- freaking heavenly -kiss.
"Clark, how do you feel about your wife dreaming with another man?" Chloe asked mischievously. Seriously- At that moment, Chloe's name should've officially changed to Cheshire. A random thought of Chloe covered in pink and purple stripes smiling inhumanly large popped in his head. Creepy.
He coughed, abruptly changing the topic, this not going unnoticed by a certain Lane. "How are those pictures coming, Jimmy?" he said, standing over James' shoulder.
"Great! ..But they've got nothing on Arrois." he said, rather geeky.
"Arouse?" Clark asked, confused.
"Clark. You did not just go there." Lois stated while holding up a hand, rather mortified.
"Not arouse, but Arrois... its the shipper name for Green Arrow and Lois." Jimmy said easily. Would that night as the Green Arrow haunt him forever? He sighed. It certainly felt like it.
He shook those thoughts away. "Shipper?" Clark asked. He wasn't getting with the program.
"Couple, Ship, Pair. Same thing." he said, tearing his vision from the LCD Screen in front of him to shoot a reassuring look at Clark. He in turn, answered with a lost one.
He sighed. "For example. You and Lois would be..." he stopped to ponder. "..Clois!"
Lois snorted. "Jimmy, first off Clark and I are not a couple, pair, item- whatever! Secondly, even if hell froze over and we were a boat- "
"-Ship." Jimmy corrected, a lonesome finger in the air.
"-whatever... that name sounds so cheesy no one would follow and repeat it." she said dryly. He rolled his eyes at her for bursting his bubble- he was quite proud of his name-giving Shipper skillz. 'Rolls off the tongue...'
"And you and I would be..?" Chloe asked her man whilst fingering through his short curly hair.
"Um.." he said, swallowing hard. "Heh.. um, Chimmy, I guess."
"Not bad." she said and winked at him.
He laughed giddily. He was dying to ''help'' Chloe. He turned to Lois and Clark... 'here goes nothing.'
"YOU GUYS ARE MOVING IN MY APARTMENT TOMORROW MORNING!!" he yelled out excitedly out of nowhere.
"SAY WHAT?!"
To be continued...
Author's Note: Sorry this is like SUPER (not that good kind) short. But I wanted to get this out of the way. Next chapter we'll see Clois (WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT LOIS!?) moving in the apartment and such. I have great things planned. -rubs hands together evily-. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! cough. DUDES! I love you guys so much! -wipes away tear- thank you again for all the feedback you guys have given. YOU ARE THEE BEST!