Disclaimer- I do not own The Outsiders

One Week later

Doctor Hansen walked into the room. He cleared his throat. "Darrel can I talk to you and Sodapop for a moment in my office?" I looked over at Darry. He gave me a nod. I nodded back.

"Yes sir, off course." Darry said standing up.

"I'll meet you in my office." Doctor Hansen walked out of the room and Darry followed him out the door.

I gave Ponyboy's hand a squeeze. "We'll be right back honey. You just get some rest." I looked at my brother. He looked like something from a fantasy film or that new show Star Trek. And glory those things made him look small. Ponyboy is such a tuff kid, its hard looking at him and seeing him so helpless.

I brushed my hand against his newly forming hair and walked out of the room.

Darry was already sitting in Doctor Hansen's office. His hands were folded. He was in deep concentration, his face set and serious. I plopped in the chair to Darry's left. He gave me that look. You know the one that usely goes with a phrase like 'act your age nit your IQ' or 'Sodapop..' followed by a grunt.

I just gave a half sort of grin. I hadn't been truly happy since the accident. It didn't help matters that Sandy left me just two days later. In a way I'm thankful for the distraction of my little brother's illness. Even though it too is killing me.

Doctor Hansen cleared his throat capturing our attention. I looked at him. He didn't seem very happy. "What did you want to talk to us about?" Darry asked.

Doctor Hansen fiddled with his tie. It was making me anxious. "I told you there is nothing we can do with Ponyboy but wait and make him comfortable."

"Yes. Has anything changed?"

Doc shook his head. "If anything his brain patterns have became weaker. There is something the hospital ethics community and I have had long discussions with my collogues in neurology."

I crossed my arms. "And……"

"We think it best if you remove Ponyboy from the ventilator."

"That'll kill him." Darry said bluntly. Kill him, kill Pony. How could they even suggest we do that? He's our brother. How could we kill our brother? We love him. That doctor had five minutes, five minutes to explain before I pounded his face in.

Doctor Hansen sighed. "Your brother has suffered a severe depletion of oxygen. He is not brain dead but very close. He has lost most of his brain function. You see him every day in that bed. He simply cannot function on his own. He cannot breath, eat or even go to the restroom on his own accord. And from what we can tell that most likely change. There is always hope, he is young and previously healthy but I would not hold out for it."

I remembered Darry's speech almost two months previous. "We can take care of him. He's our brother."

Doctor Hansen frowned. "What about five, ten years down the raod. You'll have families of your own to worry about. Will you have the time or money for him? If not that think of your brother a moment. His records state he had an IQ of 142?"

Darry nodded. I was always so proud that my brother was so smart. "Yes, he was put a head a grade when he was younger. He's in all honor classes at the high school."

Doctor Hansen frowned. "So your brother is an intellectual?"

"He reads a lot and draws." I explained. "He's so brainy."

"So tell this, would your brother be happy spending the next five, ten even forty years in a bed not moving, not seeing, unable to do the things he loves, take care of himself? Would he be happy being trapped in a body that he can not control not being able to think for himself."

I sighed. I could see Ponyboy lying next to me talking about his day. I could see him reading some big lost book. I saw him at the track meets; I don't know any kid on the squad as fast as my kid brother. I could almost hear his laughter as Darry and me tickled him until he almost peed.

Then I saw him laying in that bed not moving, There I could touch him, fell him. I could talk to him see him. As long as he was on that bed I could do that.

I closed my eyes and took a sigh. Was I being selfish? But taking him off the air, was that like putting him to sleep, like a dog, like Scamp?

When I was thirteen and Pony was just eleven we had this yellow cur dog named Scamp. He was the family dog but he belonged to Pony or maybe he that Ponyboy belonged to him. They were inseparable. That dog would do anything Ponyboy asked him. Otherwise he was a lazy stupid little thing.

We all loved him though. That summer Scamp was being lazier then usual. He was an old dog, we had had him since Darry was about three or four. Well dad took him to this friend in Grayvill that was a vet. He was awful sick. They had to put him to sleep.

I'd never tell the guys because they would rag on him, but Ponyboy balled. Dad sat him on his lap like a little kid. I can still remember what he said.

"You love Scamp don't you Ponyboy?"

"He's the world's toughest dog"

"He is a pretty neat dog. And you do love him don't you?"

Ponyboy nodded. "He's the best."

Dad gripped Ponyboy's shoulder. "You don't want him to hurt do you buddy? You would never do anything to make him suffer would you Ponyboy?"

Ponyboy sniffled. I felt so bad for him. We all loved that dog but he meant as much to Ponyboy as Mickey Mouse did to me. "I'd never hurt Scamp. He's a tough dog. He's my dog."

'Then you have to do this. You can stay with him for awhile okay?"

Ponyboy nodded. He looked at me. "Stay with me Soda?"

"Of course."

Ponyboy stayed with our dog for an hour before the gassed him. Scamp licked us both and just set quietly.

Could I do the same for Pony, could I stop him from suffering? Could I do that for him, to him?

Darry sighed. He looked at me. His eyes were red. I nodded at him. "Darry."

"Can we talk outside a minute?"

"Of course."

We walked out. "Soda?"

I was crying. "Soda we can't do this."

I shook. "Scamp."

"What little buddy?"

"Remember Scamp?"

He frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?" He was yelling now.

"He was suffering remember how he yowled. Dad said we couldn't let him be in pain. It wasn't right. Ponyboy's in pain Darry. He would hate this, he would absolutely hate this."

"I have to take care of him Soda not kill him."

I crumpled to the floor. Darry sat down beside me. I looked at him. "This is killing him Darry. I love Ponyboy so much. I want him here with us as much as you Darry. But.. But it isn't right. He would hate this. He would hate this. This is killing him. Please Darry. We got to let go."

Darry frowned. He looked like he had been hit. "Are you sure. No going back. I do not want to do this Pepsi."

"Me neither Dar, I hate it so much. But I can't do anything to hurt Ponyboy and he has to be hurting. Pony would hate all this."

Darry nodded. "At least he will get to be with mom and dad again."

I choked back a sob thinking of my parents. Glory did ever I miss them. "Mom, Mom'll not let him out of her sight."

Darry stood up and sighed. He pulled me to my feet and we walked into the office and sat back down.

"Have you made a decision yet?"

"I have a question first?"

"Yes?"

"He won't suffer, he won't be in pain?" Darry asked.

Doctor Hansen shook his head. "I doubt it will. Your brother only reacts to high pain levels. He is weak as it is. He will die shortly after we unplug him. He is suffering more by being here then by departing."

Darry nodded and I tried to smile at him reassuringly but I just didn't have it in me. "You have my permission but please wait a day. We want to say goodbye."

Doctor Hansen shook Darry's hand. "I'll arrange it." He stood up to leave. 'And Darrel…"

"Yes sir?"

"You're doing the right thing. Your parents would be very proud."

"Thank you sir."

In the 1960s it was not common practice to remove someone off life support. Even today in some states like Oklahoma it is illegal. However going into this story I did not know this. I tried to deviate from my original plan using this new information but it didn't work for me. Just so you know.

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