Hey, guys :) I know, I know. Its been a while. Sorry. I really don't even have a proper excuse. But I am sorry. And I'm shit scared of posting this, in case you all hate me. BUT- keep reading! I mean, you all trusted me with the Jasper/Alice shizzle, and that all worked out fine! This is just the way the story goes. Sorry.

I'm also sorry that this chapter is kinda short. It just seems longer because of my rambling. Sorry.

Jeez, I'm apologizing alot. Anyone would think I was Mzie or something. Lol, only joking babe!

Erm, I'm supposed to say something else... oh yeah, that I co-own Twilight.

You all understand that is a lie, right?

~~~xXx~~X~~xXx~~~

"…So I hope you can understand that this really is for the best," Edward finished, resting his hands on the table.

What the hell was I supposed to say? To be blatantly honest, I was very confused. One minute I was helping my brother propose to the love of his life, the next I was listening to my boyfriend's reasons for a 'break in our relationship'.

So I just sat there, a kind of dopey look on my face, my mouth hanging open in a state if shock.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to tell him he was stupid. I wanted to explain that Jacob and me were just friends, that he has Leah now anyway. I wanted to scream at him for being such a dick the other day, and then take him upstairs and let him show me just how sorry he was.

Only he clearly wasn't sorry. He didn't give two shits. He was happy… without me.

"Bella?" he asked quietly, momentarily shocking me. Why was he still here? "Say something, please?"

Say something?! I'd freaking say something to you, pal…

Only I couldn't. I wanted to scream, yell, shout in his face… but I just couldn't.

So I nodded, and said, "Okay. If that's what you want."

And then he said, "It is," and then he got up and went upstairs. Twenty minutes later he came back down with all of his stuff.

I stood in the window and watched as he loaded his Volvo with his bags, and then drove back to Emmett's. A part of me didn't believe this was happening, that he was really leaving me. But as he jumped in the car and started the engine, I shut that side of me up. Because she was a twat. And it was her that had gotten me into this mess in the first place.

She was the part of me that had fallen for him that day. The same part of me that had fallen for Jacob, and all the rest. She was the part that made me keep coming back, even though all the other parts knew I shouldn't.

That part? Some call it your heart. But I don't really believe in that crap. My heart pumps my blood around my body. It doesn't flutter, it doesn't ache, and it most certainly doesn't break.

He didn't look back as he drove off.

Here come those noises again…

~~~xXx~~X~~xXx~~~

A COUPLE OF WEEKS LATER

"…And I thought that the bridesmaids could be in blue, I've always said that's Bella's best colour…"

"Uh huh."

"…And my parents know a lot of vegetarians, so we'll need to talk to the caterer…"

"Uh huh."

"And are you gonna want your mom and Phil there? Because we need to get the numbers confirmed."

"Well, I guess we-"

"And I want something more original than flowers, they always remind me of funerals. I was thinking feathers, and lights! Lots of lights!"

I smiled. Sort of. I hadn't smiled properly in a while.

Everything had been wedding, wedding, wedding with Jazz and Alice, non-stop, even though she was convinced she wanted a long engagement. Today, we were venue-ing, and were driving to the next place. It had been a long morning. Alice only had about twenty freaking thousand places in mind, and as official maid-of-honour and 'secondary wedding planner' (which just meant Alice shouting at me a lot because of my 'mediocre' ideas), I had to come along to anything vaguely to do with the wedding, right down to buying the stamps for the invitations.

"What happened to that 'long engagement' idea, Al?" I laughed. Then I wished I hadn't.

She turned around in the front seat and said, menacingly, "Bella. I have been engage for three hundred and sixty-seven hours. I would like to plan my wedding now. You don't like it, you can lump it."

I opened my mouth to tell her exactly where I would be lumping it, but held my tongue. Stupid juiced-up pixie…

Jasper shot me an apologetic look in the rear-view mirror, but I just smiled him off. Sort of.

Truthfully, all the wedding shit was pissing me off. Wedding. Marriage. Together forever.

All the things I wouldn't have now.

Every day, I had to sit next to him in that stupid Biology room, trying to keep my eyes on my notes, my hands to myself and my head out of the gutter. It was tough, but I was managing it. In my own way.

The first few days, I was in denial. Then I went a little crazy, and threw a brick through his car window. With the repair bill in mind, I changed tactics. I re-read Flirting For Dummies, and went shopping. My skirts became shorter; my tops lower cut, and my lips glossier. It was freaking freezing, but it was worth it for the longer-than-normal glances that came his way from across the canteen.

And the jealousy in Jessica Stanley's eyes when I looked good in an outfit she can't get over her fat ass. Hehehe…

Yeah, I know. Bitch. It's just the way it is. Anyway, a few more disapproving looks from Jasper and Alice, and the way Leah seemed slightly wary of Jacob around the new me, and then the bitchy comments scribbled on the toilet walls about me put things into perspective and I realised how silly I was being. Edward wasn't going to just fall back in love with me because I flashed him a bit of cleavage.

So, we emerged into the weird post-break-up friend stage. It was inevitable, I mean, my sister was dating his brother, who works for my brother. We were bound to run into each other from time to time. I didn't want those times to be awkward. That would just be…ya know. Awkward.

And the sexual tension would be suicidal.

"Oh wow, this place is beautiful!" Alice cried suddenly, bursting my bubble, for which I was thankful. I hated the way I was so hooked on Edward; it was unnatural. I had abandonment dreams about him, other dreams about him (if you get what I mean), and I felt…weird. I sort of ached. Almost like there was a hole that had been punched through me when Edward left. Almost. And those noises I kept making made were just an overreaction. I just couldn't stop them.

"No shit, there's a golf course!" Jazz yelled suddenly, looking between Alice and I gleefully.

Alice didn't look so thrilled. "Jasper."

"Yes, honey?"

"A golf course?! Are you serious? You are going to be too busy getting married to care about some freaking golf course!!" she screeched.

That was the moment that I decided I didn't like wedding-Alice very much. She made my ears sad.

~~~xXx~~X~~xXx~~~

So, there ya have it! I'd reallly appreciate a review, guys, just to let me know if you're all hating on me or not. You've all been kinda quiet for the last couple of chapters...

Oh, and hey to the new readers! There seems to be a couple of them... sorry if my ramblings scare you. Or if you used to think this story was really goood but now I'm kind of loosing it...

Ugh, again with the apologizing!

PLEASE REVIEW! Peace out!

Lu xXxXxXxXxXxXx