Author's Note: I started this chapter a few days ago, and wrote about half of it, then had to deal with writer's block and the misguided notion of deciding to try and write a novel, so that's why it took so long for me to update. Brennan might be a little OOC in this, so I apologize if she is. Thank you for all the reviews and favorites!
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones, this is just for fun, Fox owns it, and I never will.
The sun beat down on her shoulders, its oppressive heat soaking through the Army fatigues that she wore. She looked around, confused. Where was she? It appeared to be in some kind of desert; there was nothing but sand and sky around her for miles. She couldn't see any evidence of civilization anywhere.
However, there seemed to be something in the distance. It was too far from her to see what it was, even as she raised a hand to block out the sun. It was barely larger than a dot to her eyes; it could take all day to get there if it was something small, much longer than that if it was a city or town.
Sighing, she began to walk, her boots sinking into the soft sand beneath her feet. Within what seemed like seconds, she was covered in sweat, and longed to take off the heavy uniform that was making the heat nearly unbearable. But she knew that it was supposed to protect her, even if she ended up with heatstroke.
The object grew larger and larger as the sun moved across the sky and she kept putting one foot in front of the other. Had it not been for whatever she was walking towards, she would have stopped long ago to rest. Even so, she quickly became thirsty, and found only a half of a bottle of water tucked into one of her many pockets. She had to have been out here a long time, and the water was precious. She only allowed herself a few sips about halfway towards her destination.
Finally, after what seemed like days, she was close enough to see that it was a man lying on the ground in front of her. Glancing around her, she could see no other dots of anything in the distance. They were in the middle of nowhere, and she had no idea if she was even going in the right direction. She didn't know if he had any water, and she herself had barely any left.
Closing the small distance between her and the man seemed to take only a few minutes, and when she finally realized who it was, she broke into a run. Reaching his side, she threw herself down next to him.
She placed her hand over his heart, relieved to find that it was still beating, however weak it was. His chest rose and fell almost imperceptibly, and his eyes were closed. Looking him over, she found a shotgun wound in his side, long since clotted and dried. He should have been dead by now, she knew, but she also knew that without emergency medical attention he would probably be dead soon. But she wasn't going to let herself give up on him that easily.
His uniform was torn near the wound, and she found herself tearing off long pieces, tying them together into something that looked like a bandage. But as she went to begin wrapping his injury, his hand shot out to grab her wrist.
His eyes were barely open as he looked at her, his fingers still wrapped around her arm. "Don't." She could barely make out the word and she leaned closer to him, hands still clasping the makeshift bandage.
"But, Booth, it could…" Her voice trailed off, and his hand loosened around her wrist as the bandage fell from between her fingers.
"What? Prolong my pain? The nearest town is a two days walk north, and I wouldn't make it anyway." His breath came in short gasps now, and the fingers of his right hand wrapped around her own.
"Booth, don't talk like that." She said, her hand gripping his as though she could never let go. "You'll be fine."
"Tell Parker I love him, all right? And the squint squad, give them my best." He paused, and she felt tears fill her eyes, one overflowing to run down the side of her cheek. Her chin quivered, and she raised a hand to her mouth, muffling a sob. "Promise me you will get up and start walking, all right? I want you to live your life."
She didn't want to promise him that. Yet, her mouth formed the words, spoken in a quavering tone. "I promise."
"There's a…water bottle in one of the…pockets on my left leg. Take it…and go. Don't worry about…leaving me here, okay?" He paused again, struggling to get enough breath to speak again. "And don't forget…Bones…I'll always…love you." He closed his eyes again, and she knew that the end was near.
"I love you." She whispered, tears traveling down her cheeks easily now. She watched as his lips turned up into a slight smile, and soon after, he drew his last breath.
She couldn't speak; she could barely breathe. How could you have just given up like that? She wanted to scream at him, but there was no one left to scream back. She knew that if she didn't get moving soon, she could end up dying from lack of food and water, but at the moment, it seemed like a pretty good idea.
But she had promised him that she would get moving, and so she did, after finding his water bottle, and folding his arms over his chest in the traditional way. She left only after she gently kissed him on the cheek one last time, whispering these words into his ear, even though she knew he would never hear them. "I'll always love you."
She opened her eyes to find herself still in his apartment, fingers hopelessly twisted into the blanket that covered her, and tears running freely down her cheeks. It had felt so real, out there in that desert.
Shaking, she stood, the blanket falling into a heap at her feet. Wiping away the tears from her face, she made her way over to his bedroom, pausing in the doorway.
He was asleep, the sheets tangled around him as he lay on his back. Taking a deep breath, she felt a deep sense of relief wash over her. It had just been a dream. He was fine, and she could stop crying.
But her body would not obey, and more tears fell from her eyes as she sank down to the floor, sobbing like she hadn't been able to do in her dream. All of the fear, and anger, and sadness had been building exponentially inside of her since he had told her, and that dream had simply been the catalyst that sent her over the edge. When she had started weeping earlier, that had only skimmed the top off of this huge stack of emotions stacked inside her, and now it was toppling over, her walls no match for the force coming at them. She was falling, but he was right there to catch her.
His arms wrapped around her, pulling her close to him. She kept her face buried in her hands, unable to look at him. But he wasn't about to let her hide anymore.
He gently pulled her fingers away from her face, and the sight of him made the anger she'd been trying to shove down bubble once again to the surface, pushing every other feeling out of the way.
She felt like hitting him as he looked down at her with concern in his eyes. So what if he was leaving for Iraq is less than thirty-six hours? She still felt like hitting him for working his way into her heart through all those walls she'd set up for protection, and then flying off halfway around the world for six months, leaving her here with a declaration of love and one stupid date. Did he really think that telling her how he felt would make a difference right now? Sitting here, it only made her angry at him again.
"Bones?" He whispered, having felt her stiffen against him. Her eyes met his, and they were burning with a rage that he'd only seen once before.
"I feel like hitting you." She spat, wrenching her hands from his grasp. "I really, really feel like hitting you." With that statement, she stood and began pacing around his bedroom.
"Then do it." He said, knowing full well that he deserved whatever the hell was coming. Telling her all this is a space of less than twenty-four hours hadn't been a good idea, and now he would simply have to pay the price for his actions.
"What?" He was giving her permission? She didn't want his permission, or for him to just lay down and take it. She wanted him to be angry with her, to fight back. She needed that.
"Do it. I know I deserve it." His words pulled the rug right out from under her, and she felt strangely off-balance as she made her way back over to him. He stood, right there in front of her, arms hanging loosely at his sides. She knew that he wouldn't try to block any shot she would make, and that made the idea of hitting him null and void. It wouldn't give her the satisfaction or release that she needed.
But she wanted him to feel her pain. It was stupid and selfish, she knew that, but why should she be the only one who was hurting around here? She wanted him to know what it felt like, to have an empty ache grow in your chest until you almost couldn't take it anymore, and know that nothing you ever did would fully be able to relieve you of it. So she lashed out with the only thing she had left.
"I won't be seeing you tonight." She watched as the words hit him, each one harder than the last. His face crumbled, his eyes reflecting the pain she felt inside. It was almost too much to take as she watched him shut down, shoving away his emotions in the same way that she did, his face becoming an expressionless mask.
"I think you should go." He wasn't looking directly at her; his eyes fell on a spot somewhere above her head.
So, she did. Walked out of his bedroom, through the living room, and out the front door, only pausing to grab her purse. The empty ache she felt in her chest had only subsided for a moment, and now it was growing again without pause. It was like some kind of parasite in her, one that made her lash out at anyone and everyone around, so that they may understand, or at least feel, what she was going through.
Her only consolation was the fact that he, too, was feeling this kind of pain. That she was no longer alone in this misery.