Disclaimer I do not own The Outsiders

"Court will adjourn for the jury's deliberation. "

Sodapop sighed impatiently, Dallas grunted, Steve scowled and Dallas stormed out. Johnny stayed characteristically quiet. One thing was on everybody's minds, the verdict. Would they catch a break for once in their lives? Would justice win out? And especially for the Curtis brothers would it bring closer?

Was there any way this verdict could make them feel at peace. Or would it just stand as another reminder of what they had lost?

Darry shot his brother a glance. Soda tried to smile instead of the awkward grimace adorning his face but he couldn't even manage that. Two-Bit Matthews stood up. He could not take it anymore.

There was too much emotion in the room, too much left unsaid. He hated things like this. But most of all he hated himself, for not making sure Pony got home, for offering to get the girls home. If he had just left well enough alone things would be okay. "Me and my big mouth."

The courtroom was stifling despite the cool December air outside. The mood was tense and static. If one were to drop a pen, any a feather, to the floor it would echo through the chambers. Darrel Curtis turned to look stare at his brother who was fiddling with his thumbs. Darry sighed. Soda had an evident scowl on his face. He wasn't expecting much in the way of the verdict.

Looking at all his friends Darry saw the same feeling was with all of them. Greasers do not get brakes. It was the unhappy truth and they all knew it.

Johnny looked unhappily at his lap ringing his fingers together. Steve chewed on his bottom lip shooting a nervous glance at his best friend. "He doesn't look good." Her mused sadly. "He looks sick."

Dallas Winston chewed on gum staring at the ceiling. He really did care about the outcome but he wasn't about to let on. It wasn't like anything he did would sway the jury one way or the other. So he sat in boredom or rather non- complacency waiting for the results that he was sure would drive him to do something stupid.

Two-Bit Matthews sat drearily with his shoulders hunched. He did not want to be here. He did not want to know the outcome. It wouldn't change a thing. Johnny would still be in a wheelchair and Pony would still be a wreck. Nothing would change that.

He could not find a humorous spin on things to comfort himself. He could not do anything to make himself feel less guilty and he could not convince himself that if by some miricale the socs were found guilty that he would.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Jackson."

"Will the courtroom be seated for the reading of the verdict."

Darry

I let out a sigh as Jackson spoke. I looked at Soda. This was it. This was it. My mind flash back three months back to that hospital room and I shuttered.

The ride to the hospital was uncomfortably silent. Soda bounced his leg up and down in a nervous fidget. Every few seconds he glanced out the window. I just stared straight ahead. My mouth was dry but my eyes felt wet. I squeezed them scooping back the tears. I couldn't lose my cool, not now.

I took a deep breath and turned to get a better look at Soda. His face was deathly pale. I stifled the urge to sigh. The last time I sat in a cop car was that January day I was rushed to identify my parents. The idea that I might be doing the same thing with Pony made me sick.

If he was perfectly fine then we wouldn't be in this car. A cop would have brought him home or we'd been called by the hospital. I recalled yesterday easily felt my stomach churn. Five minutes later and my brother could have been, could have been, I didn't want to think about it. I couldn't think about it.

"We're here." The cop said pulling to the curb. Soda and I got out. Soda was shivering all over. I couldn't help but shake the feeling that I had done this to him. I flinched but stopped when Soda turned to look at me. I had to be strong. I had to be stable; I had to be tough. Soda needed me.

"Just follow me. We are going to the pediatric ward. There is a waiting room there." Oh lordie, pediatrics. Pony's still a kid, a little kid.

Sodapop and I wordlessly followed the cop. Into the hospital, to the elevator and up three floors we went. The Pediatrics ward was a stark contrast to any of the other floors I had seen. The nurse's station was filled with stuffed animals and toys. The walls were lined with teddy bear wallpaper. Glory teddy bears, this whole hall was filled with little kids. My stomach did a summersault.

The cop led us into an empty waiting room. There were quite a few chairs, a bench, some vending machines and some books. It too had toys and games. This had dinosaur wallpaper; the same Soda and I had when we were kids. I couldn't stand to look at it.

I took a deep breath and looked at Soda. He looked like he could cry any moment. He's as tough as the next guy but Soda can be real emotional. I wanted to cry but I couldn't right now. I had to be strong. I had to be in control, for Soda and Pony.

"The doctor will be here soon. I have to go back on duty. I am so sorry I couldn't tell you more." I nodded my head leaned against the wall. and sat down. I kept my head low and glanced at my watch, six A.M.

It had been four hours, twelve minutes since I had hit him. My parents never ever hit us. I didn't even get smacked when I got plum wasted that night after a football game. Soda didn't even get a whipping when he wrecked mom and dad's car last summer.

But I hit Pony. I was always, always nagging at him and yelling at him. I don't think I've said anything good to him in eight months. I wouldn't blame him if he hated my guts. I hated myself for sure. Sighing a just stared at the ground.

It really is a shame I couldn't be un trial but then again it already felt like I had a life time sentence. Living with this guilt is far worse than any prison sentence.

"Will the speaker please read the verdict."

I held my breath. "On the first count of assault we the jury find the defendants guilty…"

"Huh?"

I looked at the guys all the same reaction. "On the second count of assault we again find the defendants guilty. On the account of attempted murder, defendants guilty………."

I sat stunned. We were winning. We were catching a break. Pony was getting avenged. No that wasn't right. Pony wouldn't want us to seek out for revenge. He hated, hates, he hates fights. He hates pity, but still…….

Soda

Its over. Its over, its finally over I felt like crying. Maybe, maybe part of it was over. But for us, for Pony it never would be, not until he finaly dies. And then it would still be there, still raw.

"He's going to need you now more then ever." We both turned to look. The doctor had walked back in with a bag. He walked to Ponyboy's bedside and started to connect it to an IV in Pony's wrist.

"It's that bad?" I asked. I had only gotten the basic gest of what the doctor had told us earlier. I'm the first to admit that I'm not the smartest guy around and all this medical mumbo jumbo has thrown me through a loop.

"Yes Mr. Curtis, I'm afraid it is." He'd finished connecting the antibotics and was now walking over to us.

"Ponyboy has a significant head injury. He is in critical condition. His body has been under a great deal of stress and right now he is unable to fully sustain himself. Because of the brain injury he cannot control normal functions such as breathing or bodily excretions. We are currently doing that for him. If your brother lives there is a great deal of chance that he will spend the rest of his life hooked to these machines. He won't be able to take care of himself. He won't even be fully aware of what is going on. That is what being in a vegetative state entails and that is what the best case scenario is for your brother. Do you understand now?"

I nodded my head. 'Yes." But man oh man I wished that I hadn't.

Darry had been quiet this whole time. "Is there, is there any hope. Could he bounce back from this?" I was stunned to see he was crying. I hadn't seen Darry cry in front of me since we were kids. He cried when our parents died but never in front of me or Pony. The only reason I knew about this was I had heard him in the shower. He had just sat in there and sobbed and sobbed. Now he was doing it in front of me. I felt tears sting my own eyes.

"I really am sorry. We'll do some EKGs and other tests over the next few days but doesn't look promising."

I wanted to cry but I was in public. Greaser's are tough. Greasers can take anything. So why did it still feel like the heart had been ripped out of my chest.