Disclaimer- I do not now nor have I ever owned The Outsiders. Or at least not the copyright. I own 2 copies of both book and movie. MY first copy of the book is so worn down the plastic is coming off the cover. I didn't even know paperbacks were covered in plastic.

'I'm sorry Darrel but there is nothing I can do. My hands are tied."

I clinched my hands on the arms of the chair. That wasn't good enough. There had to be something, anything. How could they just let Pony stay like he is now when he had a chance for… maybe not a normal life, not the one he would have led if I hadn't… I gulped; "If I hadn't hit him. But he could be happy, maybe somewhat independent. He'd be able to live, really live.

"There has to be something else you can do."

Miss McMullan smoothed at her skirt and shook her head. "The state of Oklahoma just doesn't have any sort of program for assisting with payment for your brother's occupational therapy. The state has nursing homes but has yet to build a rehabilitation facility to accommodate wards of the state or those in your current situation. It is regrettable but….

I tensed. "Regrettable... Regrettable... Regrettable?" "Don't lose your temper. Don't lose your temper. That's what got you into this in the first place."

Miss McMullan sighed. "I really want to help you Darrel. I do but right now I just can't. It is tragic what happened; it really is."

I grunted. "Then do something about it. My brother isn't just some other case file. He's a kid. "

"I'm aware of that Darrel. I have met your brother before. I know he's a kid. I want to help….. I really do but right now there is nothing I can do."

I bit my lip and clinched tighter. Miss McMullan leaned back, slightly frightened. I guess I can come off kind of frightening sometimes.

"Then do something, anything."

She sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

"That's all I ask of you."

"Come in next week, okay. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you."

* * * * * * *

"Soda, Soda I'm home." I looked around. The lights were off and the radio and TV were silent. I sighed.

"Soda, Sodapop…" I walked toward the hall. Call it brother's intuition. I heard soft crying. I tilted my head and opened the door to the room Pony and Soda used to share. Soda was lying on the bed looking at something. His shoulders were shaking.

"Pepsi, Pepsi are you okay?"

Soda sniffed and sat up. He gave a weak smile but it didn't reach his eyes. He has our dad's eyes. Warm chocolate brown usually livelily and sparkling with life. Right now they were dull and red rimmed.

"I was… I was just reading one of his journals. Didn't know he wrote like this Darry. He was…"

I gulped and sat on the bed. "Let me take a look."

Soda nodded and handed me the book. There were doodles all over the page, horses and trees and vines. His writing was a neat almost artful cursive. I gulped tracing the lettering.

Walk upon a windy day

Along the path from which I stray

Dark clouds rising overhead

Tears of rain pouring down

Ever he walks from the crowd

Into shadow into death

He goes boldly

And with the wind goes his last breath

------

The wild stallion races

Free his sprit flies

Up unto the heavens and far above the sky

The rhythm of hooves

Beating drum of heart

And onward he chases

Wherever the will shall arise

I gulped. He was so creative, so smart and I never bothered to take the time to notice. And now… thanks to the uselessness of the state he may never be again.

I don't know where I'm going

And I've lost sight of where I've been

The fog has settled in

Somewhere I am lost

A soul left unfound

Of whom I am and who I've been

I'll find myself eventually

Until the darkness settles in

"He'd have been a writer. I read some of his stories too. I never read them before you know, they're really good. He'd have been famous Darry. He'd have been somebody."

I closed the book. "He's still somebody Soda."

Soda ran his hand threw his hair. I noticed there was no grease in it. "Yeha, maybe."

I fingered the leather bond cover. I think it used to be one of mom's journals. She had some from when she was a girl lying around, "I never could get around to writing more than a page or two." She would laugh."Never had the patience for it. I'd get bored too quick."

"What did Miss McMullen say?" Soda asked halfheartedly.

I didn't even want to think about it. "There's nothing she can do right now but she'll look into it."

He nodded and cursed a little. I held back the temptation to scold him. "Should have known."

I put a hand on Soda's shoulder. "Hey little buddy, we'll figure a way to help him."

"Maybe it'd been better if Anderson had left him for dead."

My eyes widened. "Soda, what are you saying?"

He looked down at his lap and played with the quilt he was sitting on. I couldn't believe he said that, how could he? This was Ponyboy we were talking about. How could he be better off dead? What would we do without him?

Soda was crying. "I....I" He sighed. "It was like at the home l…. He doesn't know us Darry; He can't even go to the bathroom himself. He can't talk. How can he live like that? What would mom and dad say?"

My eyes widened because I could almost see it; mom sobbing into dad's shoulders. I could picture clearly Dad's face stony and grim, his hands rubbing her shoulder. I pursed my lips together. But Pony was here again, at least a part of him. Surely that meant something. Albeit the state wasn't looking to promising in helping him, he had a chance at life. Mom and dad would have wanted that for him.

"Things are going to get better Soda, they are. Pony has come so far. Nothing happens without a reason Soda."

"Mom said that all the time. "He sighed. "But why Pony Darry, why him? He had a future, a real future. He was going to get out of here, be somebody."

I rubbed circles around Soda's back like he usually does for me. "He's still got a future Pepsi Cola. It's just a different one. All we can do is be there for him like we always have, try and make it as pleasant as possible for him. Can you do that buddy?"

Soda sniffed but nodded. He looked at the alarm clock. "You got to get to the warehouse." I stared and gulped. We couldn't afford me tasking off work.

"Thanks buddy."

He nodded and pulled away wiping his face on his sleeve. "I think I'm going to call the boss and see if I can pick up another shift tonight."

I shuddered. "I don't think I like you working at night Soda. It could be dangerous."

He flashed a halfhearted grin. 'I'll be fine Darry. We need the money. Besides working takes my mind off of things."

"You sure about this little buddy?"

He nodded. "Yup."

I shook my head. "I don't like this Soda."

"It'll be fine."

What would I do without him?

AN- Sorry for not updating for awhile. Between college and work, well I've been busy. I'll try to update more. Please review. And if you want enter the challenge on my page. I've always liked that plot idea but am not sure if I could right it.