Disclaimer- I do not own The Outsiders
I couldn't sleep that night or rather morning; having not gotten in until about 5 AM. I used to hear people say that time and distance makes the heart grow fonder. I never bothered to think it would make things hurt worse than they already do, but it has.
I miss my brother more now than I ever have before. Reading his poems, seeing his doodles; it made him so much more real to me. I miss him. He made me feel like I was worth something, like each day was worth getting up to meet.
He saw the world in a way I never can and never will. I had the flashlight under the blanket, reading more poems. It hurt. it's not like I enjoy the pain, but it brought my brother; the real Pony back even for just a moment. I could feel him with me, really there.
I think these ones were before mom and dad died because they were so much happier; like he had something real and true to live for.
A dream is a shooting star
I watch it reaching and grasping
It slips to and fro
Until my fingers lay quenched around its tail
And I follow it wear it may go
The sun shines ever bright
Circling till it conquers the night
And with its will and with its might
To defeat the darkness in the warm glow of night
I dreamed I could fly
Higher then the bird
Soaring above the trees
I dreamed I swam in the deepest sea
I floated with the fishes
Seeing all there is to see
I rose into space
To catch a star falling into place
And when I woke from my slumber
All the world was waiting for me
I'll I had to do was grasp it
My mind was the key
I gulped. "Pony…" I don't think him actually dying would hurt this bad. At least I'd know he was at peace, with mom and dad. He would still be Pony, my smart funny, shy little brother. Yawning and reaching for my brother who simply was no there, I fell asleep.
The room was dark and silent. I shivered and rubbed my arms. It was freezing too. I could see white smoke from my breath. What was this place. "Hello!" I called. "Is anybody there?"
And then I heard it. It was soft, barley louder than a pin drop. Someone was crying.
"Hello. Hello. Whose there?" I walked towards the crying. It got gradually louder and louder. And then.
"Umph." I bumped into someone. The crying stopped and the darkness grew a little lighter. "Sorry I…"
The crying person turned around. His eyes were red rimmed with tears and he was wearing my old sweater. I gulped. "Pony?" I reached for him. My hand fell right through.
"Pony?"
He turned around. His face was deathly pale and bluish but he wasn't so thin looking. His eyes were wide. He reached out to touch me. His hand was so cold and it went straight through. He sighed.
"I wanna go home Soda. I wanna go home."
He was crying and my heart was breaking. "I can't get out of here. I've tried."
I wanted to hold him. "I miss you Pony."
He shivered. "Soda, I hear mama."
My face grew wide. 'What's she saying Pony?"
He sniffled and just stared at me, just stared. "She's calling Soda like when we was little and playing outside. Remember it'd get dark and she'd call?"
I nodded. "She wants me to go to her."
"Pony….."
"Pony! Pony! Pony………….."
I felt rough hands shaking me. "Soda, Soda, wake up."
"Soda."
I sprang up with a start, sweating bullets. Darry was sitting on the bed beside me. He was frowning. "You okay little buddy?"
I shivered but nodded my head. Darry had enough to worry about. He sighed. "I can't stop thinking about him either."
I looked down at the covers. It's not really like Darry to be able to read what's on my mind. But then again maybe he's thinking the same thing as I am. He must be. I don't think our brother's been very far from either of our thoughts lately. How could he be?
"I'm okay, just a nightmare."
And the sad thing is that my nightmare is nothing compared to my reality.
A.N. Sorry its crappy. I was board.