As always: Everything and anything related to the Twilight saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is a work of fiction based on her writings. No harm is meant by it.

Special thanks and much adoration to my beta Kelly.

Chapter Twenty: Ten Down, Only Sixteen to Go

Four hours.

That's how long it took for Bella to fall asleep that night.

She and Edward had left the park twenty minutes after their little teenager-esque rendezvous. They had laid there silently on the jungle gym, catching their breath and just starting up at the night sky before leaving. Edward had commented on the moisture in the air and Bella was the one who opted to leave before it began to rain. If it were up to her, she probably would have stayed there all night but she was glad she didn't.

The walk home was something that Bella would never forget. She couldn't remember a time where she had laughed so hard. She laughed hysterically at Edward the entire walk home as he tried to adjust the mess in his pants. He complained the whole time about how the top of his boxers were sticking to the trail of hair that led down to his dick, as he so vehemently put it in his frustration. It was sight to see as people walked by and stared as his hand kept traveling down to the top of his jeans. He practically flew into the apartment and shoved his pants off.

The best part of the whole scene was watching him trip face first into the seat of the couch as he got his leg stuck in the leg of his jeans. Bella took the time to remind him that perhaps it would have been better if he had taken off his shoes first after she finally stopped laughing at him. Watching him trip was a rarity, but when it happened, it was always something of a scene. It was never a small fall, but a loud drop.

After he finally got himself up, properly giving her the finger, he ran into the bathroom to shower and no later than five minutes in, he called Bella to join him, but she had told him she was busy. She heard him shout 'suit yourself' before he closed the bathroom door again.

She had lied.

For the fifteen minutes Edward was in the shower, she couldn't stop hearing his voice and thinking back to what had happened at the playground. Had she heard him right? She'd thought that he had said 'I love you', but when she asked him, all he replied with was 'wow'.

Those three little words had made her heart flutter, but to have only imagined them was like a blow to the stomach. It stung, terribly, but the worst part of it was not knowing why it had hurt so much for him to have not said it.

Even as she showered that night, all she could think about were those three little words, 'I love you'. She swore she heard them spoken right into the hollow of her neck.

'I love you', he had said, she was almost sure of it.

Her heart had heard them; it had started to beat so much faster than she had ever felt it before. It had pounded in her chest so fiercely that she couldn't fathom how her imagination had played such a cruel trick on her.

But it had.

Her heart ached in the worst possible way. She hadn't felt like this even after breaking up with her first boyfriend, even though they had only dated for four months, she wondered why her friends all thought that it was customary for a girl to mourn for days after that. That night she ended up calling Edward and he had made her feel better and the next day she had been fine, but three little words that she had imagined coming from Edward, from her best friend, caused her more pain than she could have ever imagined.

And she couldn't grasp why.

For four hours, she laid there on her bed, looking up at the flat white ceiling wondering about what had happened, replaying everything. Whenever she tried to sleep, she would close her eyes and see everything that happened. She would feel everything, and worst of all she could still hear everything.

In her head, she could hear the chains of the swings rattling with the breeze, and the small bridge beside them swaying. She could still feel the heat of Edward's body on top of hers as he moved in harmony with her. She could feel the muscles of his back pulse through his shirt as she grabbed onto him as he brought her to her peak. She could see his face as he came, the way it contorted almost as if he were in pain as he found his moment of rapture. She could still feel his breath against her neck as he tried to come back down from the ecstasy. She could feel his lips moving on her neck as he said 'I love you' or so she had thought.

They had broken the rules again, and more importantly, they had almost broken the most important one of all. A few questions plagued her thoughts that night. Even in her sleep, all she dreamt of was that moment.

Why had it hurt so badly when she asked him to repeat himself and all he had said was 'wow'? Why had it pierced her heart so furiously when he told he would miss her?

Why the fuck had she said no?

That was the one thought that really bothered her. She had wanted to kiss him. She had wanted to kiss him with everything in her being. She had had to physically stop herself from leaning forward and stealing the kiss.

Her friendship was on the line and that was why she had stopped herself.

She was not willing to risk twenty years of what they had created. What Rosalie had said had stuck with her for days. It literally consumed all of her thoughts afterwards. Edward was her rock, he was her everything, and if she were ever to lose that it would kill her, especially if she were the one responsible for it.

Bella's relationships never worked out. It was just her luck, she assumed. She had never had a long relationship. The longest one she had ever had had only lasted a little bit over a year and a half, and she was always the one who ended it.

Call it a self-esteem issue, call it a not 'feeling it' issue, but she never felt comfortable with the person she was with. Yes, they were usually compatible physically, and sometimes the sex with good. Other times the sex was downright abysmal, but something was always missing and she could never pin point it…until now.

For years, she had tried to stop thinking about it, but it was futile. There was a yearning in heart and soul.

Bella Swan had been in love with her best friend since she was sixteen years old.

=x=

Bella woke up the next morning to the sounds of coffee brewing in the kitchen. She'd had a terrible night's sleep after she had finally dozed off.

"Morning, Bella," Edward cheerfully greeted her, and Bella smiled sadly at him.

"Morning," she replied quietly as she took a seat at the kitchen table. Her mood was somber and it didn't go unnoticed.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as he poured her a cup of coffee and sat down next to her.

"I didn't sleep very well last night," she murmured and Edward threw an arm around her shoulder.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Bella nodded and Edward brought her closer to him. She took pleasure in the smell of his aftershave assaulting her senses.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" he asked, all the concern in the world evident in his tone.

"You have a long day today and I didn't want to mess that up. You need your rest. You have to fly out to New York tonight."

"Who cares Bells? You know you can always come to me. You should know that by now."

Bella sniffled as the nightmare played in her head.

"What was it about?" he inquired and Bella shook her head in a way of saying she didn't want to talk about it. Edward held her tighter, laying his forehead sideways onto hers. From the corner of her eyes, she could blurrily make out Edward beside her.

"Please?" he pleaded and Bella conceded. She knew the nightmare was ridiculous, but it had scared her terribly.

"I…I just had a dream about your plane crashing somewhere in like Kansas or some other Podunk place," she stuttered out and Edward ended up failing to stifle a laugh.

"It's not funny, Edward," she argued. "It scared the shit out of me. I don't know what I'd do if that were to happen."

"Nothing's going to happen," he assured as he kissed her forehead and stood up. It was the first time that morning that she realized that he was already dressed, and that only managed to sour her mood even more.

She didn't want him away for so long. Three days was a long time. After living with and seeing him every day, three days felt like an eternity, which made Bella laugh. They had spent weeks apart when they were in college, and it hadn't fazed her.

"Please call me when you get there," Bella pleaded as Edward hauled his luggage around the living room furniture to place it beside the front door.

"I'll call when it's morning here."

"No!" she shouted. "Call me when you get there –the minute you step into the terminal at LaGuardia."

"Bells, you'll probably be asleep by then," he argued, but she wasn't having it. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and pouted.

"Please?" she asked again as she looked up at him.

"God, with the eyes, why?" he groaned and she smiled wistfully at him. "I can't compete with that. I'll call, okay? Just don't pick up; let it go to voicemail. It'll be late here, alright?"

"Thank you," Bella grinned.

"Why are you so adamant about me calling anyway?" he asked, curious to hear her answer.

"I just want to make sure you get there safely."

"It was just a nightmare, Bella. Nothing's going to happen," he reassured her as he lugged his presentation board from his room over to the door.

"Now, I'm going to make breakfast, and you're going to get your lazy ass back to your room to get ready for work, unless you plan on showing up in a Darkwing Duck tee shirt and a pair of my old basketball shorts," he teased as she looked down at herself.

"Yeah, you're right. Can you please make something greasy? I'm in the mood for bacon," she told him as she started to walk away. Before she reached her door, he shouted out that he would 'do anything for you'. She smiled, feeling the heat rising in her face as she walked into her bedroom.

He never ceased to make her heart skip a beat.

Twenty minutes later, Bella waltzed back into the kitchen, ready for work, and found eggs, bacon, and even some fruit on the table.

"Looks good," she informed him as she took a seat across from him. He smiled grandly at her as she took a handful of bacon onto her plate.

"You look better now," he told her and she scoffed.

"Thanks. Are you trying to tell me I looked like a mess before?"

"No," he backtracked. "I meant you look like you feel better."

"Not really," she murmured, taking a piece of bacon into her hand and biting at the tough meat roughly.

"Bella, everything will be fine, okay? I'll leave you a message when I get there. So please stop worrying, okay?" he tried to comfort, but nothing was really working.

"If you say so," she whispered, suddenly losing her appetite. She was no longer in the mood to do anything.

The two ate silently for a few minutes before Edward declared that he was stuffed and that he should be leaving, reminding Bella that this would be the last time she saw him in three days. The thought caused a painful pang in her chest.

He cleared the table and made to wash the dishes, but Bella stopped him.

"I'll clean those when I get home," she told him, pushing his hand away from the sink. He smiled at her and nodded in agreement, and started heading for the door.

They walked together toward the garage, finding their cars where they always were, side by side, her Audi, and his Mercedes.

"You remember the Volvo?" she asked as they stood in the space between their respective vehicles.

"That car was my first love," he joked, getting a look of nostalgia in his eyes. "I had some good times in that car," he winked, and Bella chuckled.

"I'm sure you did."

"I'm not the only one, if I'm mistaken. I believe a certain someone here borrowed my car to have some fun in it with a boyfriend of hers," he snidely remarked.

"Nothing happened! All we did was make out," Bella screeched, and Edward laughed as he looked down at his phone. The alarm on it was going off.

"I have to go," he said quietly and Bella nodded. "Don't miss me too much," he playfully jested, as he pulled Bella in for a hug. Her hands quickly found purchase around his waist.

"That's going to be hard," she murmured into his chest, and he chuckled, placing a longing kiss on her forehead.

"You think that's hard. You should try missing you," he said as he pulled away.

Bella felt her heart skip again, after what he had just said. She watched as Edward got into his car, waving goodbye to her as he backed out of the spot.

He rolled down the window as he turned the car to exit.

"I'm gonna miss you, Swan," he said, smiling.

"Gonna miss you too, Cullen," she replied as he took off.

After a few moments, Bella finally got into her car and set off to work. As she drove off, she wondered why it was that the radio always knew to play the saddest songs when she felt crying.