The Adventures of Kamui and Subaru
Chapter 2 – Subaru's Screw-up
Author's Note: Please note that I forgot to add Yuuko giving the twins the power to cross dimensions, so let's just say Yuuko gave them that power a long time ago for whatever reason. Also some events that happen in this story will not appear in the original version. This is a purely fan-made story with a Tokyo Revalations-ish baseline. So please don't tell me about what I did wrong, because it will NOT be the same as the original story. Just go with it.
After running for 13 and a half minutes, Subaru finally made it to his house. He almost passed out from running so much, and it didn't help that he was bleeding either. When Subaru opened the door to his house, he could barely make out Kamui sitting in a corner on his goth-looking throne/chair, whatever you wanna call it. The whole house was menacingly dark, the only lighting being several torches lit up throughout the house. The light outlined Kamui's face, which was covered with a dark shadow. Subaru closed the door as Kamui opened his eyes. They turned to slits and glowed yellow when his gaze turned to Subaru. His voice was monotone as he spoke:
You're home.
Subaru: Wow, scary entrance Kamui! And how'd it get so dark in here?
Kamui: Ugh, for the 15th time Subaru, we live in a haunted mansion! That's why everyone's afraid of us! But screw that. Where have you been?
Subaru: Oh, I just took a walk.
Kamui: That's it? You didn't do anything stupid this time? Nothing that might reveal our secret?
Subaru: Oh no, nothing like that. I just wanted to find someone who sold blood-flavored ketchup for my hotdog.
Kamui: For the last time Subaru, there is no blood-flavored ketchup!
Subaru: Well there's no blood-flavored ice cream either!
Kamui: Ugh, don't remind me.
Then Kamui noticed Subaru's wrist was bleeding.
Kamui: Hey! What happened to your wrist?
Subaru: Oh, that. I just met another vampire that needed blood.
Kamui: What!?!? Are you sure he was a vampire?
Subaru: Yeah! He said he needed my blood!
Kamui: But did he say he was a vampire?
Subaru: Well, no, but I could read his mind!
Kamui: Subaru, vampires CAN'T read minds!
Subaru: Really? I thought we could!
Kamui: No, we can't! Who was this guy?
Subaru: He said his name was Seishirou or something.
Kamui suddenly became possessed and grabbed Subaru's neck and started choking him.
Kamui: YOU GAVE YOUR BLOOD TO SEISHIROU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Subaru: *choke*-You-*choke*-know-*choke*-him?
Kamui: Yes you idiot! He's the famous vampire hunter!!! He stalks vampires for their blood so he can travel through dimensions! He's never gotten any vampire's blood before until now! Haven't you ever heard of him?
Subaru: *choke* No!
Kamui lets go of Subaru's neck and slaps him across the face.
Kamui: I should seriously kill you for this Subaru! Thanks to you out secret's revealed and Seishirou has your blood! This has got to be your biggest screw up ever! I should kick you in the nuts for this!
Subaru: No please! Not my nuts!
Kamui: Oh, so you care more about your nuts than your blood?
Subaru: Yes.
Kamui kicks Subaru in the nuts.
Subaru: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Long pause.
Kamui: Well now that that's over, we need to escape!
Subaru: What do you mean?
Kamui: Let me make this clear for you. YOU gave out blood to a vampire killer. HE becomes a vampire. HE needs more of your blood to survive. So WE have to run away so he doesn't kill us. Get it?
Subaru: Yeah, but why do you have to run away too?
Kamui: One, because if he has vampire blood, he'll need my blood after he kills you, and two, well, let's face it – you can't survive on your own!
Subaru: Ok, let's go tell mom and dad we're leaving.
Kamui: Subaru, we don't have parents anymore. Remember they forgot to feed us so we killed them and drank their blood?
Subaru: Oh yeah, I forgot. But can't we at least say goodbye to our friends?
Kamui: What friends?
Subaru: You know, my stuffed bear Twinkles!
Kamui: Subaru, that THING doesn't count.
Subaru: Whatever, he's coming with us.
Kamui: Wonderful.
Subaru: So what else should we take with us?
Kamui: Well-
Subaru: Oh! I know! My are you smarter than a fifth grader Wii game!
Kamui: Subaru, I doubt there will even be a Wii in the other worlds!
Subaru: Too bad! I'm taking it!
Kamui: But we should only take stuff we need!
Subaru: We DO need this! It's the best game in the world! What if we go somewhere where I'll have to prove that I'm smarter than a fifth grader?
Kamui: But you're NOT smarter than a fifth grader! You're barely smarter than a kindergartener!
Subaru: Aw, is Kamui jealous?
Kamui: Of who, an idiot?
Subaru: Ugh, what is an idiot, and why does everyone keep calling me that? If it means sexy, then they're right!
Subaru striked a creepy pose while Kamui puked.
Subaru: I'm not cleanin that up!
Kamui: Never mind that. An idiot is someone who is stupid. Lame. A moron. Doesn't understand anything anyone tells them.
Subaru: ???
Kamui: Whatever, we're leaving!
Subaru: Yay! We're going on vacation!
Kamui was too mad at Subaru to reply to that; obviously he didn't understand anything that just happened. Kamui held out his hand and a portal opened up.
Subaru: Ooooooooo, pretty colors!
Kamui Shut up and get in the portal!
Subaru: Subaru Sumeragi ready to go! Haaaaaapuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!
Kamui: What was that?
Subaru: I don't know, I just suddenly got the strange urge to say that.
Kamui rolled his eyes and pushed Subaru into the portal, then Kamui himself jumped in. And so begins the long and perilous journey of the vampire twins.