PsykoReaper: I bet you think this is the season finale, but it's NOT! This is a fifteen-episode season, not a thirteen-episode season, YEAH BOOOY! I cannot believe I just did that...
P.S. This has some sexual content, a little Riddler/Query and Echo, but I know it probebly never happened, but I haven't read enough Batman comics because I am strapped for cash. Besides, this Batman story is a little different from the mainstream, ya know. So, don't flame me because of somethin' you don't like in this chapter, so here goes!
In the depressing city's morning, there was a bank far in the city, full of people wishing to cash their checks and renew their credit cards.
Near the bank was a little green car, the window opened and revealed an arm with a dark green sleeve and purple glove holding a remote, it pushed a button.
Then, there was an explosion in the bank, everyone came running out.
Out came two nineteen-year old girls with black hair with one side over their eye, green bowler hats, green tanktops with fishnet shirts over them, green skirts, green boots, brown sacks and machine guns, they entered the bank and shot down five of the security guards.
They ran into a room where the explosion happened: the vault.
It was blown way off, they entered it and grabbed a whole bunch of money into the bags. After they filled up the bags, they ran out of the bank and jumped into the car.
The car then sped away from the bank, a few minutes later; the cops finally came to the bank.
Gordon looked at the wreckage from the vault; Renee came into the vault room. "Well, five guards are dead, two guards injured, and five million dollars missing," said Renee.
"Do you know who did this?" asked Gordon.
"Well, by my guess, it was the Riddler," said Renee.
"Damn, why did he have to resurface now?" growled Gordon.
"Well, since Arkham is in need of a new director, due to Jonathan Crane turned out to be the Scarecrow, I guess he decided to cut his vacation short," said Renee.
"Well, what do you think?" asked Gordon to Batman, who was right behind them.
"How do you keep appearing out of nowhere?" asked Renee.
"I have learned a few tricks, what Renee said was a good suggestion, but I think he is testing me," said Batman.
"Why you?" asked Renee.
"I have done the impossible, capture the Scarecrow, now he wants to see if I can catch him," said Batman.
"He left a riddle," said Renee.
"He always does," said Gordon.
"What does it say?" asked Batman.
"Weird evil silly tracker, that doesn't make any sense!" exclaimed Renee.
"It's saying west," said Batman.
"What?" asked Renee.
"Weird Evil Silly Tracker, W-E-S-T, west," said Gordon.
"He's targeting the West Gotham Bank!" exclaimed Renee.
"Possibly, but the Riddler has tricked us before, it could be something else," said Batman.
"Like what?" asked Gordon.
"Let me hold on to that and I will find out," said Batman.
Robin knelt on the wall, angry of the job he has to do, wait. Finally, Batman exited from the bank.
"You know, when I took this job, I didn't expect I would have to wait outside," growled Robin as they walked to the Batcycle.
"You just do your job and everything keeps spinning," growled Batman.
They got on the cycle, Batman on the driver's side, while Robin on the passenger side. "And when do I get my own vehicle?" asked Robin.
"When you grow up," growled Batman, he then started to cycle and drove away.
After school, Barbara Gordon sat at the steps of her school, waiting for someone.
She looked to see her friend, Pamela Isley, a girl who was the same age as Barbara, had red hair, and green eyes hidden by glasses.
She was a bookworm, had her books kept close to her small chest. "Finally you came," growled Barbara.
"Sorry, I had to stay after school with Dr. Woodrue," said Pamela.
"Again, how many study sessions have you had, you are an A+ student," groaned Barbara.
"Well, I just want to make sure and all," said Pamela.
"Come on, nerd, let's go!" laughed Barbara.
They then walked down the street, with Pamela scared. "Why don't you drive?" asked Pamela.
"Cause I don't have a car, why?" asked Barbara.
"Well, aren't you afraid that you will be captured again by the Joker, or at least Black Mask or Two-Face?" asked Pamela.
"No, but...after I was saved by Batman, I wanted to stand by his side and fight the evil of Gotham," said Barbara.
"What?" asked Pamela.
"Oh, it's nothing!" laughed Barbara.
"Anyway, where's your dad?" asked Pamela.
"Oh, he's workin' again, trying to catch the Riddler for the hundredth time," said Barbara.
Batman sat at his computer with the Riddler's puzzle on the computer screen. Robin then walked in, with books in his hands.
"You know, you are probably the only guardian that condones his ward to be tardy," laughed Robin.
"Well, you had just as important things to do," said Batman.
"Did you figure it out yet?" asked Robin, talking about the riddle.
"I'm about to, I put it on the computer and it's analyzing what all these letters can make that are companies," said Batman.
The computer then said it was done analyzing. "Alright, what do we have?" asked Robin.
"Well, there's west, but then there's EWTS," said Batman.
"EWTS, you mean the electronics company?" asked Robin.
"They also make military equipment," said Batman.
"You think that the Riddler would be interested in that stuff?" asked Robin.
"He's an obsessive-compulsive thrill seeker, I think holding the city ransom would be the ultimate thrill-ride for him," said Batman.
"Did you say, Obsessive-compulsive?" asked Robin.
"Yes, he has an obsession of riddles and puzzles, and cannot resist the urge of leaving one at the scene of a crime," said Batman.
"What are we waiting for, let's go stop the Riddler!" laughed Robin.
"This is not a game, got it, Robin?" growled Batman.
"Yeah, it's just...never mind," growled Robin.
At a vault in a EWTS warehouse, a guard slept in the desk in front of it.
He then heard a noise and saw the two girls working for the Riddler, holding machine guns, they were with a shadowy figure/
"Hey, you guys are not supposed to be here!" yelled the guard.
The shadowy figure held up a gun and shot the guard in the temple, with his body dropping on the floor.
The man revealed himself, he was a tall skinny man with orange hair and a five' o'clock shadow, wearing a green coat, a green vest, a purple shirt, a green tie with a black question mark on the end, black tuxedo pants, black shoes, a green bowler hat, and black sunglasses hiding sleepy eyes, he held a gun on the right hand and a green cane with an emerald at the end on the other hand.
He grinned with his white teeth showing. "Alright, luvs, get the goodies before the bat gets here!" laughed the Riddler.
The two henchwomen, Query and Echo, opened the door into the main room with a slide key and the cut-off hand of the guard.
When they opened the door, it revealed a lot of weapons. "Stupid bastards, they actually have the stupidity to hide their toys in the world's most crime-infested hellhole," said the Riddler.
They walked across the room, where they stopped in front of a tank. "Is this what we came here for?" asked Query.
"Yes, dear, a tank, I always wanted to use this in the town, be a great laugh!" chuckled the Riddler.
"You won't be getting a chance, Riddler!" growled a voice behind him; he looked and saw Robin and Batman, near the door.
"Batman...and a young bloat, how nice to see the Batman again," laughed the Riddler.
"Your fun-loving destruction ends here, Riddler!" growled Batman.
"Query, Echo, take care of this copper-wannabe," said the Riddler.
The two women then held their machine guns at Batman and Robin and fired away.
They both ducked behind a road vehicle, thankfully, it was bullet-proof.
"What do we do now, Batman?" asked Robin.
"I'm thinking," growled Batman.
As the two women shot at the car, the Riddler got in the tank. "Come, luvs, let's get crackin'!" yelled the Riddler.
Query and Echo stopped shooting and jumped in the tank. "So, what's so special about THIS tank?" asked Robin.
"This tank is fast as a racecar," said Batman.
"How is that possible?" asked Robin.
"A powerful engine and a company's worth of money, that's what," growled Batman.
The tank then started and drove past the dynamic duo. "Hurry, we have to get the Riddler!" yelled Robin as he ran out of the room.
Batman followed Robin to the cycle, got on, with Robin on it, and drove after the Riddler.
As Batman and Robin chased the ultra-fast tank in Batman's Batcycle, two police cars appeared next to him, one driven by Jason Bard, the other by Harvey Bullock.
"How are we gonna lose em'?" asked Echo.
"We are comin' near a tunnel, luv, exactly where I want to go!" laughed the Riddler.
They finally got to the tunnels; the Riddler turned the gun of the tank and shot at the wall. That part of the tunnel then collapsed behind the Riddler's tank.
Batman and the two cops stopped their vehicles; they got off their vehicles and walked towards the wreckage.
"Damn, we'll never know where the fucker is at!" growled Harvey.
"Ummm, Batman, you should look at this," said Robin looking through the wreckage.
Batman looked and saw a note, he read what it said.
"I am a sea monster, killed by the blue, do not let my name fool you, I am not a teacher," said the note.
"What does it mean?" asked Robin.
"Blackbeard," answered Batman.
"What do you mean?" asked Robin.
"He was a pirate, hence sea monster, he was killed by the blue, and a shade of blue is called navy blue, hence navy, and his real name was Edward Teach, but as the riddle said, he is not a teacher," said Batman.
"What does a pirate have to do with anything?" asked Robin.
"I think I know where he is," said Batman.
"Where?" asked Jason. "He's in an abandoned hotel called the Pirate's Barnacle," said Batman.
"How do you know that, he could be in any pirate-based buildings, we may even not know it's based ON a pirate, just something sea-worthy," growled Harvey.
"You can check whatever place you want, but I am going after the best possible place, Robin, get in!" growled Batman.
Robin did what he said and they both drove off. "Should we trust him?" asked Jason. "He's never been wrong before," sighed Harvey.
The Riddler walked into a room with a grin on his face. He then closed the door and fell on the bed.
"Well, isn't this the life, live without rules, do whatever you want, and every time you are caught, you get sent to an easily escapable asylum, this...is the life!" sighed the Riddler.
He heard a knock on the door. "It's open!" yelled the Riddler.
The door opened to reveal Query and Echo. "So, boss, when do we get paid?" asked Query.
"Oh, yes, your money," said the Riddler.
He got up and opened a briefcase; he pulled out ten one hundred dollar bills and gave them both five each.
"Thanks, boss, is there anything else you want from us?" asked Echo.
"Well, I feel a little alone, luvs, hate to be alone after a heist," said the Riddler.
"Well, do not worry, boss, we know how to keep a man from feeling alone," said Echo with a smile.
They then both sat on the bed, with their hands on his shoulders. "So, boss, which first?" asked Query.
"Well, let me think, maybe...Query," laughed the Riddler.
"Sorry, Echo, you'll have to wait!" laughed Query.
"Stupid cunt," growled Echo under her breath.
"Don't worry, luv, I got enough energy for two!" laughed the Riddler.
"You can be really sweet, even for an obsessive-compulsive Clyde," said Echo.
"And don't you forget it, luv," said the Riddler with a smile.
Echo got off the bed and sat at a chair and started to watch TV. Query then lay on the bed, with the Riddler on top of her.
The decadence of Gotham is everywhere, from the sewers of Killer Croc, to the underground casinos of Two-Face.
But what is frequent of Gotham City is the sex, The Joker and Harley Quinn's hedonistic relationship, Victor Zsasz' attacks, Oswald Cobblepot's free prostitutes from the Joker, to right now, the Riddler's lust for his assistants.
Sex is a must if you want to be a top player in Gotham.
Batman and Robin finally got to the abandoned hotel, they both got off and looked around.
"Bruce, I found the tank," said Robin, pointing at the garage.
"Don't use my name," ordered Batman.
"Sorry, no one was around," said Robin. "What if the Riddler was listening, Dick?" asked Batman.
"Ok, ok, I get the message, don't use your name, I got it!" growled Robin.
"Good," said Batman. "Anyway, what do we do about the tank?" asked Robin.
"Let me handle it, you get the Riddler," said Batman.
Robin then walked to the door, he touched the knob, it let out an alarm. "Damn, the Riddler has the place wired!" growled Robin.
The Riddler was behind a pinned-to-the-wall Echo while Query was watching TV in her underwear when the alarm went off. "Damn, the copper-wannabe!" growled the Riddler.
"No, I'm almost there!" gasped Echo.
"Sorry, luv, blame the bat," growled the Riddler as he got off and started to put his clothes on.
"What do we do?" asked Query as she got her skirt and shirt on.
"You two go and shoot the bat from the air and also the little bloat," said the Riddler.
Echo was still tired, but did her best to hurry.
"Now, now, luv, I wasn't that good!" laughed the Riddler.
As Robin walked down the hall, Query and Echo came from the hallway behind him and shot at him, luckily, Robin hid in a nearby room.
They stopped firing and waited. "Echo, go get the little brat," said Query.
"Why me, I'm too tired!" growled Echo.
"Because you called me a cunt, now go!" growled Query.
Echo groaned and walked to the room, she opened the door and saw that the window was open. "Query, get in here!" yelled Echo.
She came in, and saw the open window, the walked near the window. "Did he commit suicide?" asked Echo.
Robin was behind the door; he silently walked towards the girls and bashed their heads to each other.
The then fell on the floor, unconscious. "Too easy!" said Robin with a smile.
The Riddler ran outside and got into the tank, he laughed as he realized that he got away from the Batman.
"It's nice this has four seats, like a deadly suburban," said a voice behind him.
The Riddler's laughter and smile was gone, Batman then got between the front seats, grabbed Riddler's head, and slammed it on the hard part of the wheel, knocking him out. Batman then talked in his in-cowl radio to Robin.
"Did you get the two women?" asked Batman.
"Yeah, but one seemed really tired," said Robin.
Batman was silent for a while. "Don't think about it too much, Robin," said Batman.
...THE NEXT DAY...
Bruce Wayne entered Lucius Fox's office with a blueprint in his hand. "Well, hello, Bruce, need anything?" asked Lucius.
"Well, actually, I need you to build something," said Bruce.
"Very well, what do you need?" asked Lucius.
Bruce then laid the blueprints on the table, Lucius looked at it, he then looked at Bruce. "Consider it done," said Lucius.
...LATER THAT NIGHT...
The Joker looked out a window of a building, wearing nothing, with Harley also naked on the bed, sleeping.
He had a red dragon tattoo on his back like a yakuza, a snake tattoo that coiled around his right arm, a black beetle tattoo on the back of his neck, and a red circle tattoo with a red J on his left breast muscle.
Harley woke up with a loud yawn. "Well, look who's awake," said the Joker.
"Sorry, puddin', you are like a raging bronco in bed," giggled Harley.
"Yeah, it was fun as hell too," laughed the Joker.
"So, are you up for round two?" asked Harley.
"Let me think, you are smokin' hot, you are also a nympho, meaning I can have you anytime, plus you know a lot of stuff that is not even in the Karma Sutra, and I am perverted as hell," said the Joker.
"So, is that a yes, Mr. J?" asked Harley.
"You bet it, sugar buns, and I will be screwin' those soon enough!" laughed the Joker.
Then, on the counter, the Joker's phone rang. "Ah, fuck!" groaned the Joker as he picked it up and looked who it was.
"Fuck the phone, puddin', come and rev up your Harley!" she giggled.
"Sorry, it's Two-Face, gotta see what he wants!" laughed the Joker.
"Alright, I'll be warmin' myself up!" laughed Harley.
"Good girl," hissed the Joker.
He then answered the phone. "Hello, Harvey!" laughed the Joker.
"Alright, clown, you wanted a gang war, you got one," growled Two-Face.
"How many times did you have to flip to get that choice?" asked the Joker.
"Just one, I never question fate, Joker," growled Two-Face.
"Well, you should really thank me because I am the one that made you the way you are," said the Joker.
He then heard Harley let out a giggle of ecstasy. "Trust me, sugar buns, you are gonna be screamin' in pleasure when this phone is done," said the Joker.
"What?" growled Two-Face.
"Oh, not you, who would sleep with you?" asked the Joker.
"When do we fight?" growled Two-Face.
"How about two weeks, 9:00 PM, in the three-way intersection in Blake Street, so that Black Mask can join in, but bring enough guys to protect the rear, as they police and, right-leaning stroke oblique dash, or Batman would try to stop us, got that, meat-face?" asked the Joker.
"Just remember, it will be your blood on the streets, Joker," said Two-Face.
"We will see, that is up to the coin, of course," said the Joker.
Two-Face turned off the phone, he then looked at his coin as he sat in his desk. He thought of the good times he had with his wife, but they are all gone now, taken by the Joker.
PsykoReaper: Joker's a pimp, Harley is a nympho, Riddler fucks Query and Echo, and Mr. Zsasz rapes women, get used to it, it's new, it's blue, and at least it's not like Frank Miller's version of Batman who is an unemotional badass who is more like the Joker which is totally off from the comics.