Disclaimer: Apparently I don't own Greek Mythology. Shocking right?
No Pain No Calypso:
Artemis was crawling slowly away from the tree after her fall. "Why didn't I volunteer to be goddess of healing? Why did I let Apollo take the job? Stupid!" She muttered. Now she just looked pathetic and weak. "Goddess of the hunt and wild things my…"
Just than Demeter burst through the trees. She saw Artemis and was babbling to her before she could limp away, "Oh my gosh, did you fall out of that tree? How clumsy of you!"
Artemis gritted her teeth, "It was a fifty foot tree." Just because she was an immortal goddess didn't mean she was impervious from falls from that height.
Demeter waved her hand like she was beating away a flock of insects, "Oh that's nothing! Have you every fallen from one of those redwoods in California? Now that was gnarly. Then there was this one time when some loggers wanted to cut down my favorite pine tree in Canada so I tied myself to its trunk and didn't move for three days! Those termites can bite hard but it was still fun you know! Like, I love helping the environment!"
Artemis grunted, "Umm that's great but do you mind like, getting help so that I can go get those stupid car keys?" Listening to Demeter ramble about her hippie activities was giving her a headache.
Demeter didn't seem to have heard, "Isn't it odd that you're the goddess of the wilderness and I'm the goddess of agriculture and here we are talking to each other? That is so groovy! You know we should hang out sometime. How about Saturday we could go to like, the craft tent or something!"
Artemis laid her head on the ground, "At times like this is when I honestly wish I could die."
Zeus's and Hephaestus's fight scene:
"I think I'm dead." Zeus muttered. The air was still crackling with electricity and a rather large circle of the forest had been smashed.
"We can't die. Idiot!" Hephaestus muttered. This was all Zeus's fault. If he hadn't forced him into this barbaric fight they wouldn't be lying on the ground mortally wounded and now he was more deformed than before. How was Aphrodite gonna like him now?
"Well I didn't know that baseball bats hurt so much!" Zeus gasped. He was no Athena but he had a feeling his foot shouldn't be touching his earlobe.
"Next time we solve fights the manly way," Hephaestus grumbled, "Rock paper scissors!"
Back to Long Lost Athena and Hermes:
"Two hours and no car keys." Athena grumbled. This was possibly the stupidest thing she'd ever done. Wandering in a thick muddy forest was the easy part she was a tomboy after all, but with Hermes? She had underestimated his stupidity. She had thought that him trading Zeus's lightning bolt for Kronos's supposed 'super cookie' had been a fluke but it now seemed that he was just an idiot.
"I want to impress Calypso so she'll like me. So I was thinking that maybe I could take my boxers and put them in the shape of a big heart in front of her little cabin." Hermes grinned. Athena shuddered at the thought. Poor poor Calypso.
Athena rubbed her temple, "Hermes. Why are you asking me this?"
Hermes looked surprised by the question. Then he scratched his head, "You're a girl and Calypso's a girl. Girls think alike right?"
Athena's look was murderous. Ten thousand marshmallows would've roasted in the heat of her glare, "Do you want to repeat that?" Anyone who said that Aphrodite and her had the same thoughts was going down!
Hermes gulped, "No." Maybe he was smarter than she thought.
A voice came over a hidden loud speaker, "It's time to relinquish the car keys. And limp to the infirmary if you can." Prometheus's voice blasted.
Zeus, Hephaestus and Artemis had to be hauled out of the woods on stretchers, for once in her life no one wanted to be near Aphrodite, and Dionysus had been found in the fetal position muttering, "Wine…" And no one had the car keys.
Hermes pouted and complained, "How come everyone else got injured? That is so not fair! I wanted to marry er…be treated by Calypso!"
Prometheus looked disappointed, "So nobody was able to find the keys? You're all burdens on society."
Poseidon rolled his eyes, "Bite me."
"Since the X-Losers have the least number of team members critically injured I guess they win." Prometheus finished. This was greeted by whoops from the X-Losers but on the Fantastic Freak's team Athena brandished her baseball bat menacingly.
"If you're going to hospitalize anyone make it Hermes, he wants it." Demeter said, backing up. Just then an eagle swooped down out of the sky. It had realized that the metal instruments were no good to eat and dropped them. The car keys landed by Athena's feet. She gasped and picked them up and held them like a trophy.
"Never mind. The Fantastic Freaks win." Prometheus corrected. "I hoped you packed some thermal underwear X-Losers. I hear the temperature in the woods gets down to -20 degrees at night. Who am I kidding, I engineered it like that."
AN: Did you catch how the gods lost the war? All Hermes's fault. Now I have an announcement to make. I need challenge ideas! I have one more but I need that for later. I need challenge ideas and possible odd hook ups. Like ApolloXDemeter (not that I'd ever use that) so I can make the next chapter.