Disclaimer: The po-po finally caught me…I don't own Greek Mythology.
A Tale of Two Plans:
"So you want me to use my umm… 'Match making abilities' to further torment the poor campers who have no choice in being here?" Eros asked Atlas skeptically. Atlas had demanded this secret meeting in an attempt to make the god's lives miserable. They were hiding in an emergency supply closet in the infirmary. What Prometheus didn't know couldn't hurt him right?
"Exactly! And make them odd torturous relationships that would never work out in the long run!" Atlas raved eagerly. Eros looked him in the eye. This would have been hard since he was only four feet tall if not for his wings.
"This is all about getting the gods back for making you hold up the sky isn't it?" Eros asked, perching on a stack of band aids.
"Of course! Do you know how many hot & cold packs, Tylenol, and massages it takes to get all the aches and pains out of your back after holding up the sky for a couple millennia?" Atlas bellowed, his left eye twitching. Eros studied him some more. He was crazy, his whole plan was crazy. But he could use some more drachmas in his pocket and besides, face lifts and liposuctions didn't pay for themselves. Then Psyche was always out buying new dresses and stupid porcelain cats.
"Okay. I'll take the job." He said finally. They shook on it and Eros was about to poof away when the door swung open. A pretty girl in a nurse's outfit was standing there looking surprised.
"Calypso! What are you doing here?" Atlas shouted. His face was as red as a tomato and Eros was busy checking Calypso out, just because he was the god of love, she was single, and he liked to have intellectual conversations with pretty women...
"Ares stabbed Hephaestus with a pair of scissors in the arts and craft cabin. I was looking for some antiseptic but it seems like you two are busy and want to be alone." Calypso said sarcastically. She closed the door rather roughly and a box of rectal thermometers fell on Atlas's head, used ones.
He gritted his teeth, "And make sure you get her too."
*****
Team Fantastic Freaks: Zeus, Hermes, Demeter, Athena, and Hephaestus
Team X-Losers: Poseidon, Aphrodite, Dionysus, Hera, Apollo, and Artemis
"So I think I've got Hera." Zeus bragged to the other guys. It was lunch time and Ares once again had been put in a straight jacket and was being force fed by a not so happy Calypso.
"Really how!" Hermes asked in awe. If Zeus would give away the secret of his manly charm he could use it on Calypso.
"Well you know that time when I was battling Typhon? I showed her my gruesome battle scars and she fell over completely overwhelmed." Zeus claimed proudly. Aphrodite shrieked in horror and clapped her hand over her mouth. You never show your crush your scars until you're married and they can't do anything about it!
"Yeah. I think she fainted in disgust Lover boy." Dionysus said rolling his eyes. He remembered Zeus's previous relationships. The scar thing had driven every single one off.
"What you need to do is write pretty poetry on pink lacey paper and then give it to her." Aphrodite exclaimed folding her hands.
Zeus was not disheartened, "Apollo! You're my new love poetry writer!"
Apollo threw his tray of gray slop behind him, hitting Demeter in the back of the head. "Yes! If I get some benefits, like sick days, accident insurance, two weeks' vacation with pay, and maternity leave…forget that last one."
"Why would you need accident insurance? You're writing love poetry!" Athena exploded. This was too much.
Apollo crossed his arms, "I could get a paper cut." He said making a pouting face. Zeus passed him a piece of paper. Apollo started to work immediately, "To my beautiful Hera, your bright eyes are made of plasma. Your lovely locks are fabulousa, for any other woman I have no care…a."
"Okay…I'm trying to say this in the nicest way possible, that poem sucked." Dionysus exclaimed.
Artemis nodded in agreement, "William Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, and Dr. Seuss are all rolling in their graves."
Aphrodite batted her eyelashes flirtatiously, "Well I thought it was sweet!"
Apollo grabbed her hand and kissed it, "And I think you're sweet!"
Artemis rose from the table, "And I think I'm going to barf!" She was extremely annoyed that Apollo never listened to her. Now he was Zeus's 'love poetry writer'. She had a feeling that this was based mainly on the fact that Apollo was still jealous that Hermes won the coveted 'messenger of the gods' title. This could only end badly. She would have to get Athena's advice later. Her brow wrinkled. Why did she have to get Athena's advice? She was perfectly capable of creating her own plan of action. In fact cunning was just another unknown trait of hers. Everything about her was unknown. The only legend about her was the one where she turned that Peeping Tom into a deer, and if some guy was spying on you naked you would be pretty annoyed.
A lot of the goddesses had little to no acknowledgement. But not anymore…Artemis sprang to her feet to tell Hera her master plan. Maybe Demeter too. An even better plan would be to get the little known gods involved. Hello Dionysus and Hephaestus. From now on it was no more Miss. Nice Goddess. This was gonna be big.
AN: This is a shorter chapter than it was supposed to be. But it was really long before. It had to be split in two. Keep sending me plot ideas and possible weird pairings. Here are some I plan to use, Artemis & Poseidon, Hera & Dionysus, Zeus & Calypso, and Hermes & Aphrodite. Anymore for later in the story are welcome.