Disclaimer: Ooh! I'm not putting a disclaimer up! I'm bad and I know it.

Friday the Thirteenth:

It all started when Aphrodite was taking a shower. The other gods and goddesses were sitting around the fire circle playing checkers. Artemis was trying hard to save her reputation, "I swear I don't actually like him! At first it was all a joke and then…"

"You discovered your true feelings for him as you watched a chick flick and realized that your whole life was a lie?" Demeter suggested as she was beating Hermes once again, "King me sucker! Muhahaha!" Hermes looked like he would rather be anyplace other than here. Except possibly the latrines.

Artemis blinked, "No I was shot by Eros's arrow."

Demeter shrugged, "That would have been my second guess."

Artemis appealed to Athena. Athena hadn't been talking to her since the incident had occurred. But Poseidon had to Artemis's anger and disgust. He was in the infirmary at the moment for reasons better left unknown.

"Come on Athena! You don't actually think that I would fall in love willingly! Look at what I have to work with!" She pleaded pointing at Zeus, Hephaestus, Ares, and Dionysus sitting across from them. They were having a burping competition. It quickly became an armpit farting competition. Then just a plain old fart competition.

Athena nodded, "I believe you. You just happened to pick one of my worst enemies to act with." She said coldly.

"How could Poseidon be your worst enemy?" Artemis asked incredulously.

"I hate stupid people." She replied simply. Artemis nodded. That made sense. A lot of sense actually.

Athena surprised Artemis by changing the subject completely, "What do you think of the 'curse' Prometheus was talking about?"

"I don't know. I wasn't myself when I heard it. But I'm betting that he's just trying to scare us. Gods can't die." Artemis said rationally.

Suddenly a piercing scream pierced through the sound of farts. Aphrodite ran out of the communal showers screaming hysterically with only a towel wrapped around her. Athena shot Artemis a look that said 'there goes your theory. Now I must apply my enormous brain power to save us all. Again'.

Aphrodite ran up to them her hair still wet and dripping. She started to babble, "…"

Athena interrupted, "Could you slow down please?! Oh, never say OMG in front of me. I despise chat speak."

Aphrodite stared at her blankly then began her rant again, "OMG I was taking a shower and then some weirdo came in and started stabbing a knife through the shower curtains! I was lucky to escape alive!" She ran off screaming in the opposite direction looking for someone who would actually care.

The others just stared in stunned silence. "Um…maybe she was trying to get attention?" Artemis suggested weakly.

Zeus stared after her, "That's a great way to get attention!" He exclaimed.

Ares cracked his knuckles threateningly, "You better never look at my girlfriend again or I will rip your face off!"

Zeus's eyes flitted back to Aphrodite's running form. "I saw that!" Ares bellowed. He body slammed Zeus.

"Dog pile!" Hermes yelled throwing himself into the fray. Athena and Artemis watched from a safe distance so they wouldn't get covered in blood. After a while Athena shot Artemis another look. It said, 'If you're sane come with me'. They walked unnoticed to the communal showers, the scene of the crime. Athena examined the curtains.

"Slashed to bits," She declared, "Aphrodite was obviously telling the truth. To make things worse the precision of the cuts suggest that the weapon of choice was an adamanteum knife. Which is… "

"…The only thing that can kill immortals." Artemis finished. Now she remembered why she had made her plan. Athena could be such a wind bag sometimes.

"Exactly." Athena said looking a little annoyed at being interrupted.

Artemis looked around, "So we've been cursed and now there's a crazy potential murder on the loose in the camp with a weapon that could actually kill us?"

"Yes. Also, note the fact that it is Friday thirteenth. Put it all together and…" Athena started.

"We're screwed." Artemis gulped.

****

"Wow that's a horrifying story Aphrodite!" Apollo exclaimed. After the others had done absolutely nothing to help her plight Aphrodite had run to the only god left who was not in the infirmary, Apollo. He had been in the woods expressing his feelings in song. He had been in the woods because his singing was even worse than his poetry.

"I just came to you because you've been abandoned too." Aphrodite sniffled. The fact that he was hot and available was just an added bonus.

"Yes. First Daphne and now my own sister." He said sadly. No need to mention a certain other incidents *cough* Cassandra *cough*

"I can't imagine a girl who'd rather be a tree than be with you." Aphrodite murmured batting her eyelashes flirtatiously. They then proceeded to make out much longer than humanly possible, which made sense because they weren't human.

Suddenly they heard a shuffle in the bushes. "I think we're being watched." Aphrodite said.

Apollo looked nervous, "If it is Ares…I was never here." He whispered.

Aphrodite looked confused, "But you're here right now!"

A short muscular man burst out of the bushes. He was wearing a hockey mask and carrying a large chainsaw with blades made of adamanteum. He also had goat hooves. Apollo and Aphrodite screamed. Loudly.

****

Athena and Artemis had called a meeting. Everyone had turned up with the exception of Apollo and Aphrodite. Even Poseidon, Ares and Zeus were there. In wheelchairs of course but they were still there.

Athena grasped a stick tightly in her hands. The others didn't know if it was for emphasis or to beat up anybody who didn't raise their hands. They didn't want to know. Athena cleared her throat and began to speak, "As most of you know Aphrodite was attacked in the shower this morning." Snickers could be heard from the crowd. Athena glared at them, "Artemis and I investigated the scene where the incidents took place and discovered that the attacker wielded an adamanteum knife."

Everyone gasped except Hermes who just stared blankly ahead eyes uncomprehending.

Athena swung her stick impatiently, "Adamanteum?" She hissed.

"No spreken the smarticle." Hermes replied a fly buzzed around his head.

"Adamanteum is bad Hermes." Artemis said before Athena could lose it. Artemis was rather annoyed. It seemed like Athena had completely forgotten that Artemis had made that big stunt a few chapters ago so she would get attention. Not so she could be so brutally ignored again.

For the second time that day screams rang out from near the communal showers. Athena sighed, "Aphrodite again. She sure wants to make the most of her 'traumatic experience'."

Zeus wheeled his wheelchair a little closer, "No this scream sounds higher pitched and girl like."

Artemis strained to hear, "I think that's Apollo." Right on queue Apollo and Aphrodite burst out of the forest. Aphrodite was still in her towel and Apollo's shirt had become torn and ragged sometime ago.

They screamed all the way to the gathering around the fire circle. They screamed even when they were at the fire circle. Demeter slapped them back into reality.

"What happened? What did you see?" Athena asked. It sounded more like a demand.

"Why is there lipstick all over your face Apollo? Come closer so I can punch you!" Ares roared.

Apollo fell to the ground gasping for breath, "Making out. Terror. Screaming. Running. More screaming." He managed to wheeze.

"You were making out with my girlfriend!?" Ares cried.

Aphrodite clutched her face with her hands giving her a striking resemblance to that kid from the Home Alone movie. Her towel somehow managed to still cover her body as she screamed, "The psycho murderer is right behind you!" The whir of a chainsaw and multiple screams (and some insane laughter by Demeter) could be heard.

To Be Continued…

AN: Can anybody guess who the psycho murderer is? I sort of gave it away. Notice how there was more detail in this chapter? I'm tweaking a few chapters to add more details. A revised addition of Chapter one will be up soon.