Chapter 3: Partying With the Pretentious
A/N: Hello my lovelies! Thank you for the favourites/reviews, you rock my stripey lil socks :) So sorry it took so long to get this chapter to you, I promise chapter 4 will be much speedier.
I want to say an absolutely massive thank you to the lovely Sapphira Majoram for beta-ing this for me. She's the world's best beta and an even more incredible writer, I urge you to go check out her fabulous one-shots. Seriously, her words are magic.
Alice barged into my room at 7 o'clock on the dot the next morning. As I blearily rubbed my eyes I stared wildly around, looking for the fire.
"What are you looking for?" She said brightly, following my eyes around the room.
"The life threatening situation that you've woke me up for." I muttered, already burrowing back under the duvet after noting the lack of axe murderer, fire or escaped rhinoceros.
Alice rolled her eyes and launched onto the bed like a hyperactive two year old. "Wake up, grumpy, we've got work to do." She said, leaning close to my face.
I raised my hands to bat her away. The only thing I wanted to do was drift back into the beautiful dream I'd been having where I was Juliet and being charmed by a sexy Romeo. "Too early Alice, whatever it is." I mumbled, shutting my eyes.
Suddenly the door flew open with a deafening crash. That woke me up. For a split second I wondered if there actually was an escaped rhinoceros. Just as I was about to leap out of bed and apologize to Alice for not listening to her, Rose burst through the door. She stood, framed in the doorway, her violet eyes flashing menacingly. Her blonde hair fell about her face in tangles. I nodded at her, understanding at once that she'd been subjected to a similar alarm clock.
"You're a dead woman, Brandon." She hissed. "It's 7 in the goddamn morning. Why were you hammering on my door like a deranged woodpecker?"
I shuffled over in the bed, making room for the zombie that, by day, was my glamorous friend. Rose fell dramatically onto the duvet, still glaring at Alice.
Alice looked at each of us, shaking her head. "Anybody would think you're a pair of old ladies, the way you carry on." I didn't think I had the energy required to slap her, so instead I rolled my eyes. For as long as I'd known Alice I wondered how she managed to always be so bright eyed and bushy tailed. I'd suspected extreme amounts of caffeine at first, but it turned out it was just Alice's nature to be so bouncy. If I didn't love her so much, I'd probably have killed her by now.
"Come on then." I said with a yawn, stretching my arms wide. "What's so important you'd wake us up? You know lack of sleep makes Rose murderous."
"Make it good." said Sleeping Beauty.
Alice turned to me. "You're going to ring this Jacob, and tell him to meet you down at the beach. We want to meet him."
I stared at her, incredulous. "Is that it?!" I was seriously considering taking back my thought about loving Alice and just killing her now. With a big stick. A big, sharp stick.
Rosalie had made a soft, approving sound at Alice's words. I turned to her. "I can't ring him now anyway, it's far too early! So there was no point whatsoever in waking us. Unless, there's more to this story." I said accusingly, whipping back round to Alice.
"Well, we want to see what he's like, as you've been spending so much time with him. Give him the once over, the seal of approval." She said eagerly.
"And?" I pressed.
"And then you could ask him where the woods are."
"Ah ha." I pointed a finger at her, triumphantly. "This is all just a big plan to get your hands on a chunk of undead."
"You have such a lovely way with words, Bella." Rose chimed in.
Alice folded her arms, unimpressed at being found out so early on. I saw the beginnings of a pout developing, so I gave in and compromised quickly, knowing I'd never win against the pout. "I'll phone him at 10. You can ask him about the woods yourself. That's the deal."
At 9:30 I picked up the hotel phone and rang Jacob's house, throwing Alice a dirty look over my shoulder as I dialed.
Jacob had seemed pleased to hear from me, and only too eager to meet up. Poor guy, he had no idea what was in store for him. We arranged to be at the beach at about 11, giving us time to get ready. By us, of course I meant Alice and Rosalie. I headed to the bathroom for a quick, refreshing shower, tugged a brush through my unruly hair and pulled on my clothes for the day. After all that, I was still hanging around for an hour waiting for my high-maintenance friends to primp and preen. I watched them selecting their most skimpy outfits. I had a sneaking feeling they'd be more suited to warm jackets than bikinis today, but Alice was ever the optimist.
We made it to the beach in time, to my surprise. I spotted Jacob at once, sitting on the low hanging branch of one of the skeleton trees by the shore. He caught sight of me and his face broke into a grin, beckoning us over to join him.
"Hi Jacob." I said, smiling. "These are my friends I was telling you about, Alice and Rosalie."
They waved at him. He laughed good-naturedly and waved back. "Hi you two, nice to meet you."
"Is it always this cold out here?" Rose shot at him as though he was La Push's very own weatherman.
"Pretty much." He said, with an apologetic shrug. "It can warm up though, and then everyone goes crazy. Stampedes of people wanting ice cream and sun tan lotion" His laugh was contagious and before long we all fell into easy conversation, chatting away like we'd all known each other for years.
After a good hour, Alice fixed him with an intent look. I spotted it right away, having been waiting for this all morning. I was shocked she'd lasted this long without blurting out the question she'd been burning to ask him.
"Jacob, where are the local woods round here?" She said, straight to the point.
He turned to her, surprised.
"The woods? You're not a secret tree-hugger are you?" He teased. "They're back in Forks..." He began giving her directions. The woods sounded pretty close to Charlie's house, I noted.
She smiled at him gratefully and thanked him, adding "Nope, no hippies here! We just heard there were some lovely woods round here but hadn't seen them. I was just curious." She swung her legs happily from the bit of the tree trunk she was perched on, her feet barely reaching the sand.
"Seems I'm a bit of a tour guide now." He joked. "First I know all the resident Swans of Forks, now I get questions about the weather and give directions."
His words reminded me of something. I might as well get in on the vampire seeking action, I thought to myself. "Hey, I bet you know Jessica Stanley don't you?"
Alice positively beamed at me.
His face creased into a frown, something I'd rarely seen before. "I do actually; my best friend Quil has this huge crush on her, the idiot. It's funny you asking about her, he's dragging me to this party tonight hoping he can talk to her there."
"What's she like? She sounds a bit..." Rosalie trailed off.
Jacob wrinkled his nose disgustedly. "She's rich, stuck and spoiled. I don't know what the hell Quil sees in her. The party's bound to be completely lame too; I'll just be standing there watching him drool over her all night." A sudden idea lit up his eyes. "Unless you girls want to come with us and save me from my fate?" He eyed us hopefully.
Of course we were going. He'd used the word 'party' in front of Alice, there was no way she'd let us back out of that.
The evening saw us holed up in the hotel room, following Alice's strict routine for getting ready. She was the only girl I knew who could turn the preparation for a party into a military operation.
First things first, the outfits. As hard as I tried to cling onto my jeans and hoodie, Rose gingerly pried them out of my clutches and forced me into the green shrub dress.
"You're not getting out of it this time Bella, so just quit trying." Alice said, watching me shake my head and stare, bewildered at the dress.
It was a green taffeta affair with black lace adorning the hem. I had to admit, if it was on anyone else I'd think it was pretty, but on me? I just felt silly. I disliked getting dressed up, I always ended up feeling like a little girl stealing from her mom's wardrobe.
I sensed I was fighting a losing battle as Rose ushered me into it, so I pulled on the dress with minimal fuss. For me, anyway.
Alice let out a squeak of delight at seeing me dressed up. "Give us a twirl!"
I swung my legs off the edge of the bed, and reluctantly spun around for her approval. I caught sight of myself in the mirror as I did it and wrinkled my nose. "I feel naked." I moaned, rubbing my exposed arms and collarbones.
"Don't be stupid." Rose berated me, while she wriggled into a very understated but beautiful black dress. It was knee length, longer than she'd usually choose, and it showed off her amazingly slim legs. She looked ultra classy.
I scurried over to my suitcase and began throwing my clothes over my shoulder, frantically searching for the item I sought. Alice looked scandalized that I could treat my clothes so heartlessly. Finally, my hands enclosed around my favorite white tunic. I pulled it over my head, straightening it over the top half of the dress. "Much better." I sighed.
Rose rolled her eyes but seemed to think better of saying anything, while Alice eyed me disapprovingly. "I suppose it's the best I can expect from you, really."
She grabbed her own outfit from its hanger and shimmied gracefully into it. It was a beautiful gray silk dress with a velvet band pinned in just under her cleavage. She looked stunning.
I allowed Rose to attack me with the curling tongs with good grace and very little complaining; I hoped Alice was proud of that. When she was finally finished and presented me with a mirror, I couldn't help but smile. Curls actually suited me. I twirled one around my finger, admiring it.
"Bella, you'll ruin the bounce!" Rose slapped my hand away. I suppose she was allowed to be frustrated, it'd taken her a good half hour to get my rebellious hair to play ball and actually curl in the first place. She'd straightened her own luscious tresses to within an inch of their life and applied some sweet smelling product until they had a mirror-like shine. Alice's beautiful hair was much more low maintenance, I watched her run mousse through it, a quick flick with the straighteners and she was good to go.
As the two of them pounced on me with makeup, I decided to put my foot down. I shielded my face from the many brushes being shoved at me and waited for them to lower their weapons. "The dress, I accept. I even had my hair done with no complaints, but I draw the line at the makeup." I argued. "You know I only wear lip balm."
"Not even a little mascara?" cooed Rose, waving the wand at me.
I folded my arms. "Absolutely not."
"Fine." said Alice, turning to the mirror to fix her own make up. "But when you wear that purple dress you got in Port Angeles you are letting us make you up, no arguments. Else..." She paused. "I'm telling Jacob you about the time you wet yourself at the theme park."
Blackmailing cow. I shook my head in disgust. That was below the fucking belt. "You wouldn't."
She turned around to look at me, smirking when she saw my shocked face. "Try me."
"Fine. Make up with the purple dress, but not a minute before." I scowled at her. "Also, I may never forgive you for employing such dirty tactics."
"You will." She said, with a little too much confidence for my liking.
I glanced back at Rose, who shrugged. "Don't look at me." She said, perching on the bed and slipping her shoes on. If you could call them shoes, they looked more like skyscrapers to me. They had to be 6 inches high.
"Those are adorable." Alice gave her an approving smile. She had chosen some gothic looking boots for her outfit, only Alice could pull off a look like that. If they thought I was wearing some neck-breakers with my dress, they were very much mistaken. I grabbed my converse and began putting them on.
"Do I even have to ask?" Rose was watching me with a grin on her face. "Only you, Bella."
"Yes Alice?" I pre-empted the outburst from the fashion police.
"Oh, I give up. It's very you, so work it darling." She grinned at me. "I'm still pleased we got you into a dress, I thought I'd die of shock."
I threw an unidentified face product at her.
"Bella, that stuff is $40 a pot!" She shrieked at me.
The whole process had taken three hours, but we were finally ready. Earlier at the beach we'd agreed to ring Jacob when we were dressed and he and Quil would drive to the hotel to meet us. We'd be going in the Sedan and following behind the boys in their car seeing as we still didn't know our way around. I cradled the hotel phone to my ear, and dialed Jacob's house.
"Hello?" I smiled to myself; even on the phone he was cheery.
"Hi, Jacob. It's Bella. We're ready whenever you are."
"Bella! I was beginning to think you'd been eaten by a bear or something. Jeez how long does it take you girls to get ready?"
"Alice held me prisoner in fashion jail; I've only just gnawed through the cell bars."
He laughed. "We'll be there in ten."
True to his word, ten minutes later there was a knock on our door. Alice was the nearest, and flung it open. "Hi guys!" She said, bouncing around in hyper party mode.
"Hi girls." It was strange seeing Jacob in a smart shirt; he seemed as uncomfortable as I was about the whole dressing up thing. He looked around and let out a low wolf whistle. "Hey, you three look great. Don't they?" He nudged the tall, burly boy next to him. This must be Quil.
"Yeah, you look great." He smiled at us shyly, running his hands through his black hair.
We all trooped outside. Jacob's red car was parked right next to the Sedan. "Is that a Volkswagen Rabbit?" asked Rose, staring at it.
Jacob turned to her in surprise. "Yeah, it is. I worked on it myself." He threw his chest out proudly.
"Impressive." She mused. "And don't look at me like that, girls can know about cars you know." She snapped, as Jacob's mouth was still hanging open slightly.
I grinned. Guys were always surprised and delighted in equal measure when they found out how much Rose loved cars. If you needed your gasket changed, she was your girl.
We bundled into the Sedan and waited for Jacob to pull away before following closely behind him.
Sometime later Jacob led us into the driveway of a terraced house. Music was thumping loudly, and squeals of laughter could be heard from inside. From the sounds of it, the party was already in full swing.
"We're fashionably late." Jacob noted, as Quil pushed the front door open and led us down the hallway.
There were people everywhere. Couples entwined on the staircase, groups huddled together swigging beer, girls swaying to the music and trying to catch a guy's eye.
"Where is she?" Quil was searching through the crowd.
"Relax, she's probably off bullying someone somewhere." Jacob said, rolling his eyes at his friend.
Quil ignored the dig at his crush. "I'll go and get us some cokes."
"I'll come with you." Said Alice brightly, and she skipped off with him into the kitchen.
"Don't say I didn't warn you." said Jacob, looking from Rosalie to me as we walked into the living room. This seemed to the main party area, it was even more crowded here. Tables had been pushed into the far corners of the room, the music blasted out from massive speakers and people were dancing, chatting and generally making a lot of noise in the center of the room.
"It's fine, we couldn't let you go through this alone." Rose teased, swaying her hips idly to the music.
"Hey baby, why don't you wiggle that ass in this direction?" Someone yelled.
The three of us whipped around, searching for the owner of the voice. A guy with blonde hair was leering at Rose.
"Ugh Jesus, Mike Newton." She flipped him her middle finger.
"You know you want me, you pretty little whore." He slurred.
"Get lost, you complete asshat." Rose turned her back on him, and Jacob and I stood around her protectively. She began recounting the tale of Mike and Tyler to Jacob. As he roared with laughter, Alice and Quil returned clutching five coke cans.
"What are we laughing at?" enquired Alice.
Rosalie wordlessly jerked her head towards Mike. Alice clapped her hands to her mouth. "Eww." was all she managed to say.
Suddenly, Quil let out a gasp. Jacob nudged me quickly and pointed towards a group of about 5 girls barely three feet from of us. They were gathered together, laughing like a pack of hyenas, tossing their hair pretentiously. "See the one with the curly brown hair?" He whispered, loud enough for us girls to hear but Quil, on his other side, couldn't. "That's her, Jessica."
I peered at her; she seemed to be the leader of the group. The other girls fawned over her, their eyes all on her.
"Right." said Quil, taking a swig out of his can. He seemed to be steeling himself for something.
"Don't do it, man." Jacob said, in a warning tone.
"I'm not going alone, you're coming over with me." Quil's eyes were pleading.
Jacob groaned but nodded, showing solidarity to his friend even in the face of a girly clique. The two of them set their drinks down and strolled nonchalantly over to the girls.
Alice giggled at Jacob's swagger as we strained our ears to listen.
"Hi Jessica, I'm Quil." said Quil, bravely.
The blonde girl next to Jessica looked at him as though he were a particularly repulsive slug.
"Are you talking to me?" Jessica asked her voice high and whiney.
"Yes." said Quil, nervously shuffling from one foot to the other. "I was wondering if I could umm... go grab you a... drink..." He floundered under her disbelieving stare.
"No thanks." She said coolly, waving her hand as if to dismiss him. "And eww, you smell like a dog."
Quil flushed scarlet, looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Jacob stepped closer to her, his hand on Quil's trembling shoulder. When he got right up to her face, he sniffed. "Well, you smell like a bitch." As she yelped furiously, he turned around without another word and pulled Quil away.
"Bad luck, hon." Said Alice, giving Quil a quick squeeze. "Come and dance with me instead."
He smiled dejectedly at her. "You don't need to give me a pity dance."
"Pity nothing, I want to. You can have either me or Rose, good luck getting Bella to dance."
I scowled at her, but Jacob laughed. "You don't dance?" He asked me, as Alice steered Quil into the middle of the room.
"Not unless I feel like a trip to the emergency room, no." I grinned at him.
"Oh don't be so melodramatic, Bella." Rose rolled her eyes.
As Jacob wandered off to get us some drink refills, the song that was blaring out ended abruptly. A nasal, whiney voice could be heard clearly from where we stood.
"... Yeah like the Cullens would be seen at a party like this." Jessica was sneering. "They're so weird. They think they're something special, especially the youngest one. But let's face it, if he can pass up the opportunity of hitting this..." She pointed to herself, while her bimbos nodded at her. "... Well, he's clearly gay." She concluded. There was a general murmur of assent as the next song kicked in and their voices were drowned out.
I turned to Rose, eager to see if she'd heard.
"Well that explains it then, I thought it'd be something juicier than that." She said. "She hit on one of them and they brushed her off. That earns them kudos with me, anyway."
I nodded. "Immortals have good taste, Alice'll be delighted."
When Alice rejoined us, we filled her in on what we'd overheard. She punched the air excitably. "Go sexy vamps, rejecting the cheap whore!"
By about 11:30 some of Quil and Jacob's friends from La Push had turned up and they all seemed to be having a good time. We, on the other hand, were bored stiff. Jacob tried his best to involve us in the flow of conversation, but most of it went above my head, at least.
"We're just getting some more drinks." He said, after a while.
"This is dull, let's get out while we're still conscious." Rose moaned.
Alice ushered us closer to her, her eyes glistening in a way that made me suspicious. I suspected a plan. "I've had a brilliant idea." She hissed. I was right then. "Let's go check out the woods."
"You want us to creep around the woods in the dead of night?" I asked her. Honestly, one day her 'brilliant ideas' would be the death of us.
She nodded, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "We'll find them, I can feel it."
"You want us to sneak around in the dark after vampires? We might get eaten." I said, pointedly.
She rolled her eyes at me; clearly she wasn't going to dignify what I'd said with a response.
"What do you think?" I appealed to Rose.
She sucked in a deep breath, eyes darting between Alice and I, clearly thinking through her response. "I think if we don't leave this party now we'll die of boredom. I also think if we go back to the hotel, Alice won't shut up about the woods and we'll never hear the end of it."
"So you're saying we should go?" I was shocked; Rose was usually on my side when it came to Alice's weird plans.
"I'm saying a pissed off Alice will probably do us more harm than a bunch of vampires."
I sighed. There was too much truth in this to ignore. Alice looked like she was ready to implode with excitement. Thinking I was likely to regret this, I nodded. "Ok, let's do it. But if we all die, I'm blaming you both."
I spotted Jacob and his friends coming back over. When he reached us, I tapped him on the shoulder. "Jacob I think we're going to bail for the night."
He looked slightly disappointed, which surprised me. "Ok girls, give me 5 minutes and we'll be with you."
"What? Oh no you don't have to do that, we can find our way back. We might even take a midnight stroll."
He frowned at me. "Are you sure? I really don't mind."
"Honestly, I remember the way. But thanks." I flashed him an appreciative smile; he really was a good friend.
The three of us gave him and Quil a big hug. "Thanks for a lovely evening." said Alice as we made our way into the hall. When they'd disappeared back into the living room, she leaned into us. "Right ladies, its vampy time." She winked, leading us outside and into heaven only knows what.
A/N: Thanks for reading darlings! Reviews = love. Pretty please? Chapter 4 coming up shortly...