Disclaimer: We own Doctor Who. However, in this Universe, OV's birthday is traditionally celebrated by performances of that "My Life Would Suck Without You" song over every form and method of media. She refuses to endure it, and Jessa won't stay some place that doesn't know how to celebrate OV properly (Alcohol, people! You toast with it!!), so we're gone.

Happy Birthday OV!

Chapter 4:

Rose was understandably surprised to learn that so unsociable a creature as Joshua still had a table that could be extended to fit practically any number of people. Leaves could be added to transform it from the perfectly concentric circle the couple usually used to a long oval. Long enough, she thought, that if they moved it to the living room, they could have Christmas dinner with the whole gang here, were they so inclined. She didn't expect this to happen, but the fact that it was possible gave her a slight insight into Joshua's desire to please, however far he had tamped it down.

With the addition of one leaf, the table became the perfect size to fit four people comfortably, and she couldn't help but think a dinner party was in order. After all, he still had to tell Harry and John that he was going back into the work force, and things had been a bit tense between them since Paris. She thought the inclusion of his oldest friends might loosen him up a bit, let her back in all the way.

Joshua couldn't think of a reason to refuse to have a dinner party other than he hated the phrase "dinner party". At that point, Rose cheekily renamed it the "Let's-see-if-Harry-and-John-have-a-joint-heart-attack-at-the-thought-of-you-as-a-teacher party." Joshua pouted for ten minutes, before Rose nudged him with a grin.

"Your face will freeze that way, and imagine what the kids will call you," she teased. She wanted to kiss the pout from his lips, but something told her not to. He'd made a point of being affectionate and loving since running away that night, but somehow he managed to still be distant. So, she did what she could. She stayed close to him and waited for this new wall to reveal its hidden door.

Rose made the calls and set the table and Joshua handled all the cooking more intensive than boiling water. A few times, he snagged her arm as she passed and pulled her close to show her the right way to slice an onion, or whisper what herbs were known for going together, or even to feed her a spoonful of sauce. Each time, Rose would lean into him, craving this intimacy, and each time, Joshua would realize how close they were and send her along with a grin that only hurt if you'd seen the gentle smile he usually reserved for her.

Dinner was going swimmingly, John keeping them entertained throughout the meal with a story Rose silently called, "Adventures in Working in Shopping Malls". His business was particularly brisk during the summer months, but his clients were, apparently, particularly insane.

"I swear Harry here would have had less trouble with the locker room than this man."

Harry waved a hand in mild protest.

"No, really, you'd change in a men's locker room, wouldn't you?" John added, eyeing his companion speculatively.

The story finished with the meal, with John giving up and walking out of his own business before he even got through the lunch hour. "I went home," he insisted to the hilarity of the others. "I'd've needed drugs if I'd stayed."

"I can prescribe you something," Harry offered. "Might have voice loss as a side effect, though."

"I wonder why?" Joshua asked dryly and he snickered at both of the men watching him warily.

Rose served tea and dessert and watched Joshua as his blue eyes sparkled mischief and mirth. Rose knew then that he was up to something. He waited, watching his friends carefully, until exactly the right moment before he announced, brightly, "I'm goin' to work as a teacher."

Harry very nearly did an actual spit take, while John went satisfyingly pale. "Why?" Benton asked after Harry stopped coughing.

Joshua's teasing grin disappeared, replaced by a serious, intent expression. "Too many clever kids're slipping through these schools and no one's even tryin' to do anything about it," Joshua told them emphatically. "They need someone who won't assume they're destined for a life of menial labor or crime just because they're from the Estate."

After a thoughtful silence, Harry was the first to congratulate Joshua with John very hard on his heels. "What're you planning to teach exactly?" John wondered aloud. Harry nodded around a forkful of his dessert, a little blush at his cheeks, probably because he'd managed to miss an important question.

"Figure I'll put that PhD in Literature to use. Teach them the greats, old and new. If they can learn to appreciate books, and learn to read them, really read them the right way, they can learn to do anything. Books can teach practically everything." He shrugged. "Can serve as an example, too, I s'pose. Prove to 'em that class'll not be any kind of limit. Sound dead common, me, with this accent."

After this, the conversation drifted around to which pieces he would teach, lesson plans, and secondary schools in general. "What about your book?" Harry asked when he'd finished his dessert. "Think you'll ever finish it?"

"What do you think tests are for? They're busy, so I've got time."

Rose laughed next to him. "If it were anyone else, I'd say I don't think it works like that, but I don't doubt that's exactly what he'll do."

"You do realize," John said with a serious frown and merrily twinkling eyes, "that you haven't got the job yet." Looking quite serious, as if he were explaining some sort of fundamental rule of the universe, he explained, "You will have to go on at least one interview. You will have someone who will never be half as clever as you and who probably doesn't deserve your respect, but is the head teacher, deciding whether or not you get the job."

"Whatever you do, don't call him a stupid ape," Rose added with a smirk. Joshua opened his mouth, but Rose preempted him. "No. Not even if he deserves it."

"You might even need to call him 'sir'," Harry said with as close as he got to a malicious smirk.

"They'll expect you to wear a tie," John dead-panned, adjusting an imaginary tie - and then pretending to hang himself with it.

"Even if your CV's impeccable," Harry added, "which I'm sure the Brigadier will see to that, you'll still have to play local politics. That usually means being absolutely delighted with your future supervisor."

"D'you even know how to suck up?" John asked.

"Done it before, I think," Joshua mused, sounding vaguely uncertain. "Or maybe that was someone sucking up to me, can't remember." He shrugged. "Wouldn't the man rather hear what I think or what I know?"

"You know everything," John said with an airy wave of the hand. "And all he'll really want to know what you think about is how delighted you think you are to be there."

"You'll definitely need to tell him what a fine job he's been doing with the school so far," Rose agreed. Joshua's small pout caused Rose to take pity on him. She held his hand in both of hers. "Don't worry, once you get the job you can come up with a terrible nickname for him and teach it to all the kids. They'll love you for it."

Joshua linked his fingers with hers and smiled down at her. For the first time since he'd run, it was the small, sweet smile that stole her breath and heart in an instant. She squeezed his hand happily and let the warmth wash over her. She must be getting close to that door.

Rose shivered lightly at the feel of Joshua's fingers grazing the hairs on the nape of her neck. Not ignoring it, but determinedly putting off thinking about it, she smiled down and waved as Harry got in his car.

Once they were finally alone, she closed the door and turned to face her lover. Only, he hadn't been that over the last few days. He'd been trying hard, she could see, to seem natural, even jovial around her. In some ways everything was the same, but since he'd had that nightmare, he'd been reluctant to touch her.

What haunted her was that Rose was fairly sure he was being reluctant out of fear rather than distaste, but couldn't fathom his reasons. She didn't know why he'd be afraid of her now, but at times he seemed it. It was all too easy for her to imagine that something in that dream had made him realize that he was dating a girl who would never be able to live up to what he deserved. She hated the very idea, really. It made her feel petty and small, but then Joshua had put this wall up between them and now she just didn't know what was sure and what was uncertain.

More than anything, Rose wanted to reach up and trace the gentle smile that had hidden from her for the past week that now softened Joshua's face. She didn't know what had brought it back, and she didn't care. She had missed it too much to wonder at the moment why it returned.

But, instead of letting her fingers map the lines of his face that were softened by this singular expression, Rose just smiled up at him. She didn't know why he had shut her out. She didn't know why he was holding her at arm's length. She didn't know why he was giving her this look, now. But he had hurt her, and he would explain himself. As much as she wanted to just melt into his arms and take whatever he was willing to give, Rose knew she had to stand her ground now, or have no ground later.

"I miss you," she told him. It was time for this to end. When he just stood there looking confused, for too long, Rose continued. "I miss the you who tries to distract me from what I'm doing to tickle me, or kiss me, or teach me something random and wonderful. I miss the you who snags my arm when I walk past just to hold me for a moment." Giving into her own need, Rose finally let her finger trace his lips. "I miss the you who gives me this smile and doesn't shut me out."

"I don't..." Joshua started and then snapped his mouth shut. Rose waited while he tried to arrange his thoughts, failed miserably, and then tried to remember how to talk. "I left you," he told her, nearly wailing. He seemed to believe this explained everything. "I ran."

"I know," Rose told him, waiting for him to decide to make sense.

"You din't yell. You din't throw things at me. You forgave me. You should've left, then. You should've run back home and left me alone. Gone back to your normal life."

"Sod that!" Rose declared.

"Don't you get it?" Joshua's expression was intent, as determined and stubborn as Rose had ever seen him look. "You should find your handsome prince. You shouldn't be stuck with a broken old man who leaves you behind."

"Then don't leave me," Rose insisted urgently. "Keep me with you." She shook her head, clutched his arm while he refused to meet her eyes, while she couldn't really meet his, either. Softly, intently, she insisted, "You're more noble than any twelve princes, but you refuse to see it. I'm allowed to forgive you. That's my choice. But you don't get to lock me out 'cuz I do, 'cuz I didn't make you swim the English Channel to prove you still love me or some such." She was getting a little angry, now, and very frustrated, and it was clear in her voice as it became angry and insistent in her own ears. "You wanna apologize, go ahead, but don't you ever try to freeze me out because you feel guilty."

Rose stepped in, as close as she could get to him with the closed way he was standing, and cupped his cheek. "Joshua, you've made mistakes before. I've forgiven you before. Why now?"

"I never abandoned you before," Joshua muttered, eyes downcast.

"You didn't abandon me, this time, either," Rose insisted. "You came back. You didn't have to do that."

Joshua's eyes snapped up to lock with hers, filled with a hungry intensity. "Yes. I did." And then he swooped down to devour her mouth with desperation, with remorse, and with a driving need for her to always be his.