The next few days passed by in a bit of a haze. I slept, I shuffled back and forth to the bathroom, I sat up and slurped down hot soup whenever Edward or one of the women in his family brought it to me. The first morning, Edward helped me into the clean clothes on the dresser, winking at me as he left and leaving me thoroughly embarrassed and flattered. It was nice to have a man looking at me like that again – a bit predatory with the underlying affection. Also known as lust. I hadn't seen it in a way that didn't turn my stomach in ages.

About a week after we arrived on the island, I woke up one evening and felt better. Starving, even. I carefully made my way downstairs, gripping the banister on the steep stairs as I went. I was shaky and lightheaded. I could hear a low rumble of voices as I got to the bottom and I paused, looking through the low light to the group of people gathered in front of the fireplace.

"We can make it, you're just being pessimistic Edward," someone was saying hotly. "You haven't been here for more than a week and you think you can just waltz in and take charge? Fuck you!"

"Emmett," Esme said sharply "there are children…"

"Enough, Mom, you don't think they hear shit like that every day? I won't sit back and let you all fawn over him and put him in fucking charge in some attempt to make him happy and keep him from leaving."

"Where the fuck do you think I would go?" demanded Edward angrily. "In case you missed it, there's nowhere to go. I've been out there, I've driven across the whole damn country and there's nothing there but zeds and death. Death either from zeds or starvation or other fucking survivors who'd kill you for the goddamn shoes on your feet. I'm not interested in taking over anything; I just want to be somewhere safe where I don't have to carry a rifle whenever I want to take a leak. Fuck you Emmett, if there was anywhere else for me to go, believe me, I'd be there."

"What about B?"

"What about her?" His voice was tense.

"You haven't told us much about her other than the fact that you picked her up in Phoenix and you've been traveling together. Is her family dead? How old is she? What do you know about her, really?"

"About as much as I know about him."

Everyone turned, surprised, as I entered the room then. I walked over and sat next to Edward boldly. "We didn't share much about our pasts because it's easier to lose someone if you don't care about them. I have no secrets, though. Ask me anything you want."

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"So you never finished school."

"Kind of hard when you're on the run from zeds. Some of whom used to be your teachers."

"How far did you get?"

"The infection hit in the middle of my sophomore year."

Lips pursed around the room and I stiffened. Edward's arms around me tightened. He and I didn't have a problem with the age difference and it frankly irritated me that it bothered them.

"If you don't approve, we'll move out, move into one of the bunkhouses."

"They're all occupied."

"So we'll figure something out."

"Enough!" shouted Esme then. She'd been silent for a while but was now standing, shaking with anger. "Enough. Just…enough. Edward, you and B are fine. Stay here with us. Eventually everything will get back to normal and we can work on being a family again."

"I'm not sure that'll happen, Mom." Edward's voice was so soft and sad and with such a note of finality in it my chest ached. Whatever had happened between them seemed to have caused irreparable damage.

Esme's eyes filled with tears but she nodded and looked away. Carlisle put his arm around her shoulders and looked at Edward sadly.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," I said finally. "I woke up and was actually starving so I thought I might come see what there is in the way of food."

"We don't have much," apologized Rosalie, jumping up then. "I could make you some toast and eggs if you'd like."

I stared at her. "You have bread and eggs?"

She nodded. "Part of the island is a working farm. Didn't Edward tell you? We've got pigs, cows and chickens."

"Oh my god I've died and gone to heaven."

There was a low rumble of laughter. Edward shifted me forward gently and stood up. "I'll fix her something to eat if you want to go to bed. It's late, I know."

That seemed to be the signal. Everyone stood up and mumbled their good nights before disappearing off to their rooms. Edward pulled me into the kitchen and set me at the large scrubbed oak table.

"Two eggs enough?"

"I could eat more."

He grinned and pulled a bowl of eggs down from a shelf, grabbing two before setting the bowl back on the shelf. "Two is all you should eat. You've been sick for a while."

"Spoilsport."

He grinned and motioned to a loaf of bread nearby. "Slice yourself some bread. There's some butter in the cold storage over there." He motioned to a small hatch in the floor.

I nodded and stood up, pulling open the hatch and pulling out a small bottle of milk that I passed to him and then a small crock of butter. He handed me a knife and I stood beside him companionably, cutting thick slices of the bread.

"This shit could have mold on it and I'd eat it," I commented. "Salmonella and all that."

He laughed softly. "Yeah, anything is good after canned food for two years."

I nodded, slathering butter on the bread and holding it up. He took a bite and smiled as I took one, too. He was whisking the eggs in a bowl with a fork, waiting for a skillet over the low burning embers to heat up.

We were quiet while he cooked the eggs and I ate the bread greedily. He finally scraped the cooked eggs onto a plate and set it down in front of me. I dug in hungrily and he smiled, moving around the kitchen while I ate, cleaning up and putting things away.

"So what's been going on while I've been out?"

"Sorting the shit we brought with us, distributing some of the things."

I nodded. "That took what, one day?"

He grinned and settled across from me, watching me eat. Normally that would piss me off but I was too excited about real food to care. "Yeah, then they showed me around the island, what they've done."

"Which is?"

"The farm is running well. Lots of animals, which is needed to feed everyone here. They've essentially stripped out the flower gardens and expanded the vegetable gardens. They've expanded the water collection systems and built a few more buildings for shit. Once in a while, they make a run to the mainland to get whatever supplies they can find."

"How many people are here?"

"Besides my family, there's the caretaker and his family, another family with teenage children, an elderly couple, and the soldiers. They were in Portland trying to control the zeds before anyone figured out what the fuck was going on and ended up out here."

"How many bunkhouses are there?"

"Four. One for the men soldiers, one for the women, one for the family with teenagers and one is being used for storage for now. The caretaker and his family have a house and the elderly couple is living with the family."

I nodded and looked down at my empty plate. I could still eat, but knew I shouldn't. It had been way too long since I'd had real food and I didn't want to get sick. Edward took my plate and washed it then turned and held out his hand.

"Ready for bed?"

I nodded and let him lead me up the dark steps and down the hallway. As we passed rooms, I could hear the quiet murmur of voices and the unmistakable squeak of bed springs. Edward grimaced and pulled me more quickly down the hallway. I laughed softly as he pulled me into our room and shut the door.

"I picked this room because it's the farthest away from all the others. I couldn't hear my parents having sex or my brothers jacking off in this room."

"Sounds like great childhood memories."

He shook his head, a hint of a smile on his face visible from the faint moonlight coming in through the window. "They weren't all bad."

"What happened?"

"Not tonight, B."

"Alright." I turned away from him, crawling back into the bed on my side. I was still exhausted. I hadn't really slept in two years. I didn't feel that bad about sleeping a lot right now.

"Are you upset?"

"A little."

He sighed and pulled me over to him, rolling me onto my back. "I'm sorry. I'm just riled up about what happened today and I just want to sleep and forget about it."

"Riled up?" I teased.

He grinned. "Sue me, I'm old."

"No more lawyers, can't sue."

"Then you're just shit out of luck."

"Poor me." I reached one hand up and threaded my fingers through his hair, rubbing his scalp in a way I knew he liked. He moaned softly, shifting closer to me. "You know something great about living in the AZ?"

"What's that?"

"No more of that shit they told us wasn't there anymore."

"What are you talking about?" he shifted down on the bed and nestled his face against my neck.

"Pluto, indigo, the fucking food pyramid, all that."

"You're insane, you know that?"

I laughed and kissed his forehead. "So you liked the new stupid ass pyramid they came out with a few years before the infection?"

"No, but…why are we even having this discussion?"

"It calms you down to talk about trivial stuff."

He lifted his head and looked at me, surprised. "Really."

"Yes. You think I enjoyed rehashing movies and books and all the shit we missed every night for six months? I figured out pretty quickly that normal boring shit calms you when everything else is fucked. So, I'm helping."

"Wow."

"Yup."

"Don't freak out, but I may love you for that."

I grinned, a warmth spreading through me at that. "I may love you, too, for standing up for me and for the eggs. And for not freaking out when I puked on you."

"It's the little things really." He laid his head back down, kissing my neck. I held him and closed my eyes. This was my favorite thing right now.

We hadn't exactly said it, but the words we'd been dancing around for ages were out there now. The emotions were expressed and I knew he felt it and he knew I felt it. Now, in the AZ, there wasn't a need to say it. I was honestly a little scared to say it. It was dangerous to get too close to people now. There was always something that could happen. Maybe it was better if those words were left a little ambiguous…or as ambiguous as they were now.