Thanks for the sweet reviews. Ain't nothing better….

The morning after. The traffic is fierce at Villa Miles and company. Some unexpected guests invites themselves in. - The plot thickens.

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Common sense

Common sense. If he'd have any - he wouldn't have been here in the first place. Stuck in the 70's with a bunch of yapping crackpots and hardliner hippies.

It's the morning after the whole monumental dating fiasco. He awakens, looking like a bludgeoned filet mignon and feels like one too. He reluctantly drags his feet. Not looking forward to the questions he is certain he will be bombarded with. Much rather stay in bed, where the vision of Kate's freckled little boobs might appear at least in the apparition of a wet dream. Oh, fat chance. All he can think of is Hugo bonking his mom. May he be damned to hell and eternal damnation and all that crap.

When he comes out for breakfast his under-stimulated housemates are lined up like two eager circus seals and they literally pounce on him when he edges his door open. The urge to slam it shut is overwhelming.

" How did it go!?". In unison from the sofa where both men are precariously balancing cereal bowls on their knees. Asses at the edge of their seats. Bright shiny eyes. Like living with the damn Thompson twins.

Dan's mouth falls open as he sees the awful rainbow coloured manifestation that is Miles this fine morning. The flaky whiz kid is effectively shocked out of words. Jin is as expressionless as always. Or –wait a moment - is that a barely detectable little malevolent smile forming at the edge of his mouth?

"You have - boo-boos." Jin declares with his gratingly toneless voice.

" For the fecking king's English sake. The English Jin, it is atrocious! You gotta' stop letting Jules tutor you!"

Ha – excellent deflection. Shut him up – didn't it?

" But what happened to your face?"

Oh fuck it. He has a soft spot for Daniel and all but really, how much should he be expected to take?

"Buzz off Dan, or I'll make it happen to yours!" Barbed voice like a gruff old warthog.

They watch him quietly like two little intelligent and curious animals trying to decide whether he is palatable enough to chase down. He really can't deal with their jarring, itchy interference right now.

He's got more important things on his mind than the botched date or daydreaming about Kate's little pale mangoes. Um-mm. Fleetingly distracted by the brief ephemeral image. Miles shows them his back and makes his surly way towards the kitchen counter. He is just about to open the dry storage when a head peeps out from behind one of the kitchen cupboards.

Alrightey then. Just what was missing! Crap, crap, crap. As useful as a third nipple - the crack-head doctor in his janitor drabs. Jack's slack-jawed mug for breakfast. Not exactly a sight for sore eyes. That damned demented destiny's child.

And what the heck is he doing here?

" Oh, wow Miles, you might want me to have a look at that. Doesn't look good."

" You lay one soft metrosexual hand on me you quack - you'll regret it."

Miles reaches for a clean spoon from the kitchen drawer, which he subsequently slams shut in order to put weight behind his words. Shoo, shoo daisy-boy. Definitely don't need him here now.

" I am a doctor you know! People travel from all over the world to have me treat them." Jack huffs, managing to pull off looking both pompous and coquettish at the same time. Well, perhaps not a big feat considering the size of that man's delusional ego.

" Oh shut it. Don't you have a loo or something that needs fixing?"

Jack mumbles, voice is barely audible over the crickly-sparkle sound of his own cereals as he pours some milk on top of them:

" World renowned spinal surgeon, I'll have you know…"

Miles slumps down on the lazy chair opposite his expectant ogling roomies. Practically drooling. Daniel, round-eyed and his forehead perfunctory draped in his usual show of concern. His loafer clad toes pointing inwards in anxiety like a peahen. His skin super-glued in symmetrical folds to his forehead.

Hmm, lucid or cookoo today?

" Violent woman - yes? This Kate? " Dan's highbrowed head leans to the left as he studies Miles face.

" Yes, yes!" Jin confirms flatly, nodding eagerly. Yes, I remember she also used to hit her other boyfriends."

" Not me!" Jack negates visibly perking up from his seat by the kitchen counter. Keeping a safe distance from the proletariat. Miles doesn't even look up. More important things to do today than puncturing the doc's balloon, fun as it is.

" It wasn't Kate ok!" Miles shovels in his Coco Crunch sloppily, not even bothering to close his mouth in between scoops in the name of efficiency. He better get out of here. It is far too early for the freakin' Spanish inquisition.

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There is a brief funky knock on the door as it swings open revealing a puffy eyed and gratifyingly pasty-faced LaFleure. Why the heck bother knocking at all?

" So what are the riff-raff up too this early in the morning?" he asks with pretended jolliness. Swallowing up the whole room with his large annoying persona. Suddenly making everyone else seem insignificant. Miles hasn't forgiven him for beating him blue and yellow. Not likely to either.

Head of Security has a toothbrush and a thick leather bound novel in his hands, a pillow squashed under his arm and a pair of security overalls thrown over his shoulder. He doesn't look like he has slept much. His mop of dirty blond hair ruffled and uncharacteristically dirty. He drops his loot on the floor by the door without further delay.

" You moving in?" Miles ignores his question.

LaFleure shuffles his feet slightly and his eyes waver, effectively and studiously avoiding any eye contact.

" Thought I'd bunk with you guys. Juliet, eh, Juliet is having some alone time."

Miles drops his empty bowl. Alone time my ass! Those two are like fucking Siamese twins – aggravatingly attached to the hip. And the big obnoxious La F. here in his house? Don't think so.

" No offence but: u-uh. Nope. Not gonna' happen!"

LaFleure completely ignores him and makes himself comfortable between Jin and Daniel on the sofa. They look disgustingly happy, star crossed like two little groupies in the vicinity of him. Oh, for fucks sake! Miles is just about to take up arms when LaFleure darn quivering eyebrows distracts him flightily.

" Miles, I think I have a little solution to our little 'p-r-o-b-l-e-m'" LaFleure fixes on him pointedly. Yep. It is useless to fight it. Let the goon move in, for all that it matters, it is impossible to make things any worse in the freakin' circus ring that currently is his life.

He hasn't time for a single additional thought before the next, more timid knock is audible at their door.

" Come in for fucks sake!" LaFleure hollers, already appearing chillingly at home in their house. Miles shudder at the thought of him making his presence permanent here. Must get him back with Juliet. This is not on.

" The more the merrier!" he grumbles as a meek and distraught face peeks through the slight opening in the door.

" May I come in?"

Miles sink his face into the palms of his hands. It is like fucking Piccadilly Circus here. The whole flipping Dharma Initiative in its entity has decided to show up for breakfast. It's the goddam' Dharma edition of the Breakfast Club. So yes, why not have his prickhead of a dad join the ranks.

A polite and perfectly composed Dr. Chang, in his customary perfectly ironed white coat and a paper folder in hand steps in. The only visible giveaway to his mental state, the bright white knuckles on his hands as he clamps the folder to his chest.

"Mr. LaFleure. I need a word with you. In private." He nods his head towards the door dryly and LaFleure gets up with a heavy uncooperative sigh. They disappear out on the porch. The remaining breakfast guests are still able to observe them through the front window. First row performance. Without the sound of course but the scene is still painfully apparent. An obviously distressed Dr. Chang's wildly gesticulating and LaFleure trying to calm him down.

The whole house collectively lets out a loud gasp in touching unity as LaFleure embraces Dr. Changs' visibly agitated body with both arms. He tucks him in closely in a snug bear-hug. Dr. Chang's shoulder shiver in LaFleure's comforting grasp and they can't draw any other conclusion than that the scientist is bawling his eyes out.

Suddenly they enter the room. Dr. Chang 's eyes red-rimmed and LaFleure's arm in a steady fatherly grip around his shoulders. Patting his lab-coat in a feeble "there, there" attempt. Jin and Dan scramble to make space on the shoddy sofa in between them and both LaFleure and Dr. Chang squeezes down forming a tight unlikely quartet. An absolute aberration.

What a fucking farce.

Probably misplaced some important research file. Ha. LaFleure looks like the evil twin brother of Dr. Phil. Dan and Jin, both likely under the delusion that they are the guest of the Jerry Springer show, lean forward in a perfectly synchronized effort at patting the anguished scientist on his impeccably white clad shoulders.

" It isn't the first time", sniffles the distraught professor. Even Jack draws closer at this happily unexpected opportunity at some well needed diversion. He sits himself down on the arm of Miles' chair. Miles glares at him in an effort to repel him the hell off it but Jack doesn't even notice. He is seemingly mesmerized by the highly unusual sight of the snivelling, snot-faced scientist. Perhaps it's not that bad being a janitor after all. Less responsibility, less stress and all that.

" Lara," Dr. Chang begins on as he searches the faces around him for some sympathy. He is encouraged to continue as he finds it in abundance. " I suspect she is up to her old tricks. Remember Barbara, Jim?"

He turns to face LaFleure, and ends up nose to nose with him due to their extreme proximity. LaFleure nods dumbly. Nose almost caressing nose with the movement. Dr. Chang turns back to his captive audience. The air literally vibrates in trembling expectancy.

" Barbara used to work here att the canteen." He drops the bomb coolly, almost collected again." They had an affair."

Bull!

Miles' nails mauls their way into the stuffing of armchair. How dares he! About his own wife! He feels the fillings crunching in the teeth as his jaws grinds down in red-hot blinding anger. A heroic attempt at controlling his temper.

The doochbag!

All eyes still on Dr. Chang. No one notices Miles clawing the stuffing out of the chair with his incensed fingers while dreaming of doing the same to that creep's intestines.

" Well, she always was a wild one Lara. I knew that when we got married. But I honestly thought it was behind us. After the baby and all. And, now… I have understood that there is someone new."

They all oh and ah in sympathy. Except Miles. He picks on, slowly mutilating the sofa-chair's innards. Disembowelling the poor inanimate object. Trying to keep himself from ripping the fricking guts from the bastard's laboratory coat covered belly.

" Who is it? Do you know?" Jack leans forward, all ears and spiteful little smug fake compassionate smile. He is having a swell old time. This has considerably better entertainment value than scrubbing out the communal toilets.

" I don't know exactly. But I know that it started after the new recruits arrived. My guess is on…."

Absolute silence in apprehension – all breathing activity stops momentarily. It is unbearable. You can hear the termites crawling in the walls. Who, who, who? Oh, crap. He knows about Hugo. LaFleure's eyes meet his own in alarm. He lips are drawn back in sheer tension showing off his teeth in a panicky grin as they wait for the inevitable. Spit it out for god's sake! Get on with it.

" Well based on Lara's previous indiscretions, my money is on that skinny new brunette girl at the carpool. A bit of a tomboy…..Katey or Kitty or whatever her name is."

Phew.

Exhale.

Breathe.

....…Oh shit.

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