In the wise words of M. Poirot, "My dear friends, I beg of you a thousand pardons, but these exasperating exams, they have driven me to the edges of barbarity! Ah, please do forgive me. I am ashamed; I prostrate myself."

It so is sweetheart! "It is. If it's too late for me . . ." as I very much fear it is. "Well, I'll be damned — no pun intended — if I'll let them keep you out, too." No way. Not on my account.

I could see her jaw set. "You can't make me go somewhere you won't be. That's my definition of hell." Bang on love! "Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this: let's never die, all right?"

I had to play along with her enthusiasm or her ploy to distract me, whatever it was. "Sounds simple enough." I grinned. "Why didn't I think of that?"

She tried to stare me down, not really a possible endeavour for a human and finally gave in. "So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're married. "

Ah, if it was only that simple. "Technically, I can't ever sleep with you." The more I courted sleep, the more it was determined to elude me. Not that I was complaining. As long as I could watch Bella sleep peacefully, safe in my arms, I was more than content with life.

Bella didn't miss the pun. She just rolled her eyes in response. "Very mature, Edward."

I could see that the argument was finally almost over. I heaved a sigh of relief. And now, to get over with the technicalities. Sleep or no sleep, my conditions had been spelt out, and no matter how much Bella tried, they would remain unalterable.

"But, other than that detail, yes, you've got it right."

She frowned again and then looked up at me suspiciously, as if struck by a sudden thought. Before my curiosity could get the better of me, she stated without prompt "I think you have an ulterior motive."

Astute Bella! My eyes widened in what I hoped was a guilt free expression "Another one?"

"You know this will speed things up," she accused.

I couldn't not smirk – her charge had completely hit home. "There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever." The very thought of marrying Bella seemed too surreal… no, that word wasn't powerful enough to capture what it was. The image was too all-consuming for mere words. ". . . but for that, it's true, your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point." God, bless them.

"I can't believe I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie . . . and Renée! Can you imagine what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now."

Yes, there was the real issue. It was too embarrassing for her. Abruptly I was frustrated. It was such an inconsequential matter to even mull over. How did a person brave enough to face a vampire find it difficult to face her own species, that too at something as harmless and beautiful as a wedding ceremony? Oh, only if her mind wasn't so impervious… just one little peek never harmed anyone.

And besides, hadn't I just promised to change her soon afterwards? If nothing else, she could take at least that into consideration. How did any of it matter at all? I drew a blank on all sides.

Apparently my incredulity was writ large on my face. Bella stared gloomily ahead and then gave a delicate shudder. That was all it took. Immediately my conscience smote me. It did not matter why something, even if was completely ridiculous, was making her uncomfortable, what mattered was that it was absolutely incumbent for me to make it right. It was the very least that I owed her. And besides, her happiness was tangible with mine. I therefore voiced the very first solution my mind could conceive "It doesn't have to be a big production. I don't need any fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or make any changes. We'll go to Vegas — you can wear old jeans and we'll go to the chapel with the drive-through window." I prayed for that to assuage her. Calling off the wedding was too painful an alternative. "I just want it to be official — that you belong to me and no one else." In black and white, there for everyone to see – especially a certain mutt whose infuriating ways drove me to the edge every single time. He needed to see that more than anyone else. My vindictive side was already exulting in the triumph. Bella chose me.

"It couldn't be any more official than it already is," Bella argued.

Not for everyone, my mind disagreed. And anyway, I was enjoying this new image entirely too much. "We'll see about that." My countenance must have been smug. "I suppose you don't want your ring now?" I was in serious need of an exhilaration buffer.

Bella gulped nervously before answering. "You suppose correctly."

Her absolute terror at the prospect amused me no end. "That's fine. I'll get it on your finger soon enough." Maybe even today if I was that lucky.

Bella glowered at my impudence. "You talk like you already have one."

"I do," I replied cheerfully. "Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness."

"You're unbelievable." And you are still with me because?

"Do you want to see it?" I asked quickly. This was the single most amazing day of my very long existence. I found it impossible to rein in my insane enthusiasm and despite Bella's overall grumpiness concerning the whole issue, my chest was threatening to explode with joy.

"No!" she screeched as if on auto mode. It so jarred with what I felt a minute ago that I was completely taken aback. It wasn't her fault, I reasoned. I should have given her prior warning. I was already well aware of her horror at everything marriage related. I therefore tried to disguise my hurt.

But Bella wasn't fooled. I could see remorse fill her eyes "Unless you really want to show it to me." Great, now I was making her feel horrible about it too.

"That's all right," I tried to remain nonchalant. No matter what, she shouldn't feel bad. I would not let her. "It can wait."

Apparently, she wasn't giving up. "Show me the damn ring, Edward."

Well, I could beat her at her own game. "No."

She remained silent for a long minute calculating my resolve. And then with a tentative hand, she softly grazed my cheeks. Electricity pulsed through me and I figuratively melted. "Please?" she uttered almost inaudibly. "Please can I see it?"

There was no winning with her now and she knew it. "You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met." I accused, conceding. In an instant, I was back at her side having retrieved the required article. I carefully wrapped my arm around her and placed the box on her knee.

"Go ahead and look, then." My entire being was brimming with anxiety, my voice was coarse and my non-existent heart was going into overdrive.

Bella slowly picked it up and then wavered. "You didn't spend a lot of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did."

I could easily be honest with her this time "I didn't spend anything, It's just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gave to my mother." A very different ache had gripped me. One I couldn't quite put a name on.

"Oh." This revelation surprised her, that much was evident. I could only hope it was in a good way. She pinched the lid but didn't open it.

"I supposed it's a little outdated." I apologized. "Old fashioned, just like me." If she desired something else, I'd arrange for it. "I can get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany's?"

"I like old-fashioned things," she muttered declining my offer, and then, finally, she cautiously lifted the lid.