A/N: I know that some of you may hate me for this chapter because if I could title this chapter something else it would be called 'Angst to the Maximum Power' :) you guys know how much I love writing my angst so just bear with me in this chapter. It's also the shortest chapter that I've written for this story but I wanted to get this chapter out to you guys before I disappear to study/take finals! I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up but as a tease to get you back for the next one, all I'm going to say is that it's the chapter that you really don't want to miss ;) Alright, happy reading and don't forget to leave a comment! I really do love reading all of your comments!

Chapter 6 – Give in to Me

"So, the Sunset ballroom, I thought, would be a great place to have your reception for the amount of people that you have on your guest list…"

Carly was rambling on, trying to sell Lulu on the idea of getting married at the MetroCourt, as they walked along the long corridor that led into each ballroom. Dillon asked Carly if he could see some floor plans for each ballroom, eager to decide on a location for their nuptials. The three of them walked into the spacious Sunset ballroom, where Jax was overseeing a set up of some kind.

"So, Lulu… has Carly convinced you to have your wedding here yet?" Jax chuckled.

"She's getting very close…" Lulu said.

"Why is this called the Sunset ballroom?" Dillon asked.

"Because of the windows… at sunset, you can see almost the entire horizon…" Jax said, pointing across the room to the wall that was covered in windows.

"That's what we should do… get married at sunset, right here… wouldn't that be wonderful?" Dillon asked as he snaked his arm around Lulu's waist.

Lulu swallowed hard and put on a smile when inside, her heart was pounding furiously. Committing to a venue made this wedding more real and she was unsure if she even wanted to make this wedding more real to her. She felt as if she was being pulled in a thousand different directions and the slightest movement would tear her into pieces. Dillon put his arm around Lulu as they all exited the room. She looked over as they passed by the grand ballroom, where Nikolas and Claudia had held their reception just three weeks before, and she cleared her throat uncomfortably as her mind wandered back to that night.

The night where she had been so close to making love with Johnny.

How could she have let things get that out of control? Everything inside of her knew that being around Johnny was detrimental to the life that she had built with Dillon and perhaps her sanity but perhaps she was insane. The definition of insanity was to do the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, and that's what she kept doing. She continuously found herself going to Johnny, thinking that somehow things would be different between them and he wouldn't have that pull over her to make her want him so badly and to throw her common sense out the window. She needed to fully break from him.

"Carly… I'm ready to commit to the MetroCourt for our wedding…" Lulu said.

Both Carly and Dillon stopped walking, scrutinizing Lulu's expression but she tried hard to not show any doubt or fear on her face. Dillon put his hands on her shoulders, offering her a small but cautious smile.

"Are you sure? I'm still up to look at more venues if that's what you want. I don't want to pressure you or anything…" Dillon insisted but Lulu just shook her head.

"I'm sure… I want to marry you here…" she said.

Carly smiled as Dillon threw his arms around her, ecstatic to finally have found a venue for their wedding. He took her face in his hands and kissed her but he pulled away as his cell phone began to ring. After taking the phone out of his pocket, he grimaced as he looked at his caller ID.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this… it's Jack calling from LA, probably about that production meeting with the studio… can you iron out the details with Carly by yourself?" Dillon asked.

Lulu sighed and nodded. He gave her a chaste kiss on her lips before stepping into one of the ballrooms to take his phone call. Carly put her hand on the small of Lulu's back, guiding her towards the elevators. Carly's talk about florists, catering and decorations as they walked into the restaurant at the hotel washed over Lulu in a fog because the uneasiness in her stomach was surging.

"Hey, are you alright?" Carly asked, setting down her portfolio.

"Yeah! Of course I am… how could I not? I've just found the perfect place to get married…" Lulu said, assuring her cousin about her happiness.

"Alright… oh, Jax and the head chef just redid the menu and I have to say that the salmon is phenomenal…" Carly said, pointing to the dish on the menu.

"Ok, will you order for me then? I have to use the ladies' room and I trust your judgment…" Lulu said, grabbing her purse.

Carly agreed and went back to pouring over the materials in her portfolio. Lulu weaved through tables and waitresses until she reached the door of the bathroom. The rate at which her stomach was turning was almost making her feel nauseous but as she splashed some cool water on her face, her heart rate began to slow and she started to come down from her unnerved state.

"You're going to be ok…" she whispered to herself.

She straightened out her shirt, smoothed her blond locks with her hands, and when she looked into the mirror, she gave herself a slightly approving nod. If she were someone else looking at herself, she wouldn't be able to guess that she was on the verge of losing her mind. She picked up her purse and headed towards the door.

"Lulu…"

The voice made her freeze and she dropped her bag to the floor. She whipped her head around to find Johnny standing no more than five feet away from her. He was wearing all black, a crisp black Italian suit with a black button up shirt underneath, as if he was coming from or going to a funeral. She gritted her teeth, willing herself not to show him how much of a wreck she had become since the last time she had seen him.

"What are you stalking me now?" she spat and his eyes widened in surprise at her ire.

"Wow, what have I done to deserve such a greeting?" he asked wryly as she bent down to retrieve her fallen bag.

"Get out of my way, Johnny…" she demanded, as she slung her bag over her shoulder.

"Are you seriously mad at me for that night after Claudia and Nikolas' wedding?" he asked.

Of course she was angry at him for that night but not for the reasons that he was probably thinking of. She was actually grateful that he had the sense to stop before they made love but she was angry at him for still holding that power over her that made her go against every single instinct that she had. She was angry at him for causing her to go to a place so self-destructive. She knew that he was bad for her. People had been trying to tell her that for years and she thought that she had learned her lesson when he left her at the altar but there she was again, being sucked back into his life.

"Move." Lulu growled.

Instead of obliging her demand, he took three steps towards her so that he was close enough that she could smell his cologne and see the faint traces of stubble on his chin. He was too close for her to form a coherent sentence, let alone make anymore firm demands.

"Make me." Johnny whispered.

She closed her eyes, trying to make herself not lose control of the situation. She wouldn't and couldn't let him win. She had worked too hard to get over him and she would be damned if she would let herself fall back into his life. Being broken by him once was enough to last her a lifetime.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked.

"I haven't done anything but come to the MetroCourt for lunch…" he said, smirking, and she scoffed.

"Are you getting some sort of sick enjoyment from trying to destroy my life, Johnny? Is that what turns you on? Wrecking destruction on my life because yours is so miserable and sad?" she asked.

The smirk that was on Johnny's face suddenly disappeared and she knew that she had struck a chord. She knew that it was a low blow to say that when it was so obvious that he had not been holding up so well in the emotional sense but she had to do something to drive him away.

"Since we're getting things out in the open… mind if I share an observation?" he asked, his eyes narrowing on her.

"What?" she hissed.

"You're not angry at me… you're angry with yourself because you know that Dillon doesn't make you happy… and you know what? He probably never will…" he whispered.

"Go to hell…" she growled.

The degree to which she was angry with him was shocking to her because she didn't want him to be right. She had to believe that she could be happy with Dillon because if she couldn't, then where would that leave her? To return to his arms and to possibly get her heart stomped on again? She was not eager to enter another round of emotional rugby with him. She began to walk back in the direction of the restaurant but before she could even make it past him, Johnny grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him again.

"Trust me… I'm already there…" he whispered.

He released her arm quickly, as if recoiling from a hot surface, and she watched him as he briskly walked through the dining area of the restaurant and disappeared behind the elevator doors.

The sharp sound of the door to his father's study slamming shut didn't faze Johnny at all. His anger was driving all of his actions since that moment at the restaurant. He shrugged off his dark blazer and flung it onto the chaise lounge as he walked over to his liquor cart. He quickly poured himself a glass of scotch and downed it in just a few seconds, clenching the empty glass as the alcohol burned down his throat.

This was not how things were supposed to be.

He hated to admit it but Lulu was right. As much as he wanted her to be happy, that selfish part of him was growing every single day, wanting her for himself. The more he was around her, the more he wanted her to leave Dillon and to be with him, resenting that "noble" sacrifice that he had been forced to make. His eyes quickly flashed back over to the chaise lounge where his blazer lay, thinking about the feel of her fingers running through his hair, her hands groping his shirt, and her lips hungrily pressing against his. He could feel his hand begin to shake and as if a spasm had taken over his arm, he hurled his glass towards the small couch, shattering it into a million pieces against the wood frame. He wanted to not want her so badly. He wanted to not feel like he couldn't breathe without her. He then found himself overturning the liquor cart, sending his father's prized glassware to the floor. After years of living with Anthony Zacchara and his tantrums, the guards probably wouldn't have thought about entering a room that sounded like it was being demolished. He wanted that study to resemble how he felt inside: wrecked. He tossed books from their shelves, destroyed the lamps and even overturned his desk. With an anguish filled scream, he hurled his father's prized vase into a mirror, which jolted him out of his rage-filled stupor. His hands shook as he reached down and picked up a large fragment of the shattered mirror, looking into his dark countenance.

He knew that this rage was just covering up for the agonizing pain in his chest.

"Oh my god! What the hell happened in here?"

Johnny looked up, wiping away the tears that were falling from his eyes, to see Claudia standing in the doorway. He was slightly disarmed by her appearance, which was very uncharacteristic. She was sporting an even golden tan and was wearing a short and flowing teal summer dress with a pair of sandals, looking as if she had just walked off one of the beaches in Greece. She dropped her bag and immediately rushed to her brother's side, pulling him to his feet.

"How was the honeymoon?" Johnny asked, his voice completely blasé, and Claudia rolled her eyes.

"Don't try to change the subject… why did you decide to trash Daddy's study?" she asked.

"Don't you have a husband to worry about now?" he asked.

"Just because I got married doesn't mean that I'm going to abandon you, John… now you tell me what happened or do I have to beat it out of you?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

He could never put anything past his sister. She knew all of his defense mechanisms and the signs that he was spinning out of control. Lying to her was completely pointless and a waste of breath. He sighed heavily and walked over to the overturned desk and sat down on the edge. Claudia silently followed him and sat beside him, putting her hand on top of his.

"I need to get out of Port Charles, Claudia." Johnny exhaled.

"When?" she asked.

"As soon as possible… before I lose my mind…" he muttered.

"Because of Lulu?" she asked and he let out a small laugh.

"You don't miss a thing, do you?" he asked, looking over at his sister.

"Maybe it's because I know you so well…" she said.

"Maybe… but still, I don't think I can stand to watch her plan her future with Dillon… and I know that it'll kill me to watch her marry him…" he sighed.

"Did something else happen?" she asked.

"If by something else you mean we almost had sex right there on that couch on the night of your wedding, then yes… something else did happen…" he muttered, gesturing over towards the lounge, and Claudia's eyes widened.

"What?" she cried.

"We didn't go through with it of course… I stopped before it could get to that point…" he said.

"Why would you do that?" she asked, as if it was the dumbest thing that he could've done.

"Because I love her, Claudia! And because she doesn't know what she wants and I didn't want to take advantage of that…" he said.

"Well then fight for her! A part of her clearly still wants you, John!" she cried but he shook his head.

"I can't…" he lamented.

"Why not?" she asked.

"I just can't, Claudia…" he said.

"See, this is where you lose me, John… you say that you love her and you regret ever leaving her but you won't fight for her?" she asked.

"It's not that simple…" he explained.

"Well, explain it to me then, Johnny! And if you loved her like you say you did then why on earth did you leave?" she asked.

"It wasn't my decision! If had my way, Lulu would be my wife right now but—" he started.

"But what?" she asked.

Johnny looked down at his sister's hand and the large diamond resting on her finger and he couldn't bring himself to divulge the truth about the circumstances that made him flee from Port Charles. Of course, Claudia would go to bat for Johnny against Nikolas and to destroy him without even batting an eyelash but she would be brokenhearted after the damage was done because of how much she loved Nikolas. Suddenly, Claudia's cell phone began to ring and she groaned as she bent down to retrieve it from her purse.

"Oh! It's Nikolas… do you mind if I take it?" she asked.

"Not at all…" he muttered.

Claudia pressed a kiss to her brother's cheek and answered her phone. Johnny watched as Claudia spoke to her husband, twirling a lock of hair around her finger, with a wide smile on her face. Being in love looked good on her and what gave him the right to ruin it for her?

"I'm sorry but I have to run… Nikolas wants me to meet him at the country club for dinner tonight but I'm going to handle this situation." Claudia said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Before Johnny could even utter a word of protest, Claudia skirted from the room. Whenever Claudia said that she would "handle" something, it never turned out well. Of course she meant well but she had a habit of making things ten times worse than the original situation. Johnny sighed and looked around, surveying the damage that he had made and he couldn't help but to think about the damage that was yet to come.

"You were awfully quiet in the car…"

Lulu set down her purse on their kitchen counter and immediately went into the fridge to grab a bottle of beer. Without saying a word to her fiancé, she cracked open the bottle and took a long swig. Sensing that she was avoiding the question, Dillon plucked the bottle from her hands and lifted her chin up towards him.

"Tell me what's wrong, Lulu… if you're still not sold on the MetroCourt, we can still look at other places… I'm sure that Carly will understand…" he said.

"I think I worry you too much sometimes…" she sighed, taking his hand in hers.

"You wouldn't worry me if you would just tell me what was going on…" he insisted.

She couldn't tell him about her encounter with Johnny at the MetroCourt. She had already promised not to see him anymore after almost making love to him on the night of Claudia and Nikolas' wedding and if she told him the truth about seeing Johnny at the MetroCourt, he would've definitely been upset at her for "breaking her promise." She needed something else to tell him.

"Let's move our date up…" she said and as soon as the words came out of her mouth, she immediately regretted saying them.

"What?" he asked.

"We—we should move our date up…" she reiterated.

"Why? What's the rush?" he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"I just—I want us to start our lives together, you know? I know that I haven't shown it a lot recently but I want to be your wife, Dillon…" she said.

A smile spread across his face and he immediately pulled her in for a kiss, clearly happy about her sudden enthusiasm about their upcoming wedding. He told her that he would handle calling everyone, including Carly, to inform them about moving the date up. As she watched him pick up his phone and chat away excitedly to Carly about the new plan, that sense of uneasiness in the pit of Lulu's stomach began to flare up.

This would not end well.

She was sure of it.