"So what I'm thinking is we just bring our own drinks to he party so he doesn't charge us extra like everyone knows he will."
"Sounds great," I mumbled to Jason who was excited about the party Charlie Owen was holding. It was all he talked about since we got home.
"Are you sure? It's supposed to be the wickedest party of the year but we don't have to go if you aren't up for it."
"No," I lied, "It sounds awesome, we should totally go."
Jason looked at me skeptically and reached to touch my shoulder. I automatically shrunk away from contact.
"What's wrong?" he asked concern automatically covering his features.
"Nothing," I sighed guiltily "I'm just tired. I might just take a nap until dinner."
"Want me to come with you? The rents aren't home," he whispered seductively.
"I really am tired," I lied for the second time.
"Okay," Jason sighed.
I quickly and clumsily scampered up the stairs to my room where Alice was waiting. I let out a little shriek before silencing myself, "What?" I asked catching my breath.
"Edward changed his mind about leaving, he said something about you and him talking and deciding to talk about it more."
"Yeah," I whispered, "We talked."
"I'm going to take you out for a bit," Alice's glare was piercing.
"Okay," I whispered.
Alice lifted me up over her shoulder and jumped out of the window onto the lawn. It took her a few moments to get me to her car since she had to go human speed but we were driving and soon stopped in the middle of nowhere in no time.
"Are you stupid?" she shrieked, "You can't keep Edward hanging. You have to choose and you have to choose quickly before the guys get at it!"
"Alice, I think you have a little less faith in them then they deserve. They aren't human murderers."
"They still have the same instincts! Every time Edward is with you and Jason I always see different visions of him murdering Jason."
"Is that what you saw at lunch?" I asked. Alice stopped for a moment as if contemplating what she was going to say. She drew back in herself for a moment and then was silent.
"No," she mumbled, "You need to go home ad get ready for dinner tonight. Wear something nice Renee's taking you to La Vache"
"The Cow?" I asked slightly disturbed by the name.
"It's a steak house and it's fancy so dress up nice."
I rolled my eyes and turned back to the windshield. Alice stepped on the gas and took me back home; she carried me back through the window silently and left me on my bed.
I dozed off quickly, realizing I wasn't lying completely when I said I was just tired. I was awoken by Jason at 5 and had 2 hours to get ready.
I started by showering, I stood and let the water hit me and remember the times when I had stood crying, the times I had rushed through my shower in anticipation of Edward sitting in my room waiting.
I remembered the loving and careful kisses he gave me as opposed to the deep, reckless kisses I get from Jason. I wondered which kiss was better and found myself unsure. They were so different and wonderful it was impossible to pick a better choice. With Edward it was so wonderful and I loved him so much, but it was hard having to control myself when the sparks were flying. With Jason I felt that every inch of skin that he touched burned with a different longing then I had with Edward but just as intense.
I sighed as I stepped out of the shower and toweled myself dry, as I blow dried my hair I did my best to ignore the pit of guilt and uncertainty I had growing as I thought of the two gorgeous men who fought for my love.
I then started on my make up avoiding the look of life that had appeared in my eyes since meeting Jason and the guilt sitting in them since kissing Edward. When I was done I chose my outfit, and avoided the thought of all the clothes Alice had given me and the gifts she used to express her sisterly love for me and how welcome I was to join her family.
As I put on my clothes I avoided the thought of Renee and Charlie who I would have to leave to be with Jason or Edward. I sighed again as I put on my shoes and stepped over to the window to check for my mother's car and swore uncharacteristically when I saw a familiar silver Volvo.
"Bella! The mouth you have I don't think Jason is a good influence."
"Edward," I whined "Why are you here?"
"Look Bella, I love you and I need you to know that."
"You aren't going to change your mind again?" I asked sarcastically.
"I never changed my mind, do you deny that a life without vampires is better then one with the constant danger?"
"I would have rather lived a life with danger than a life without you." I countered.
"You would have?" Edward asked quietly.
"I don't know what I want anymore," I said truthfully.
"Well, I'll be here when you decide and I'll still be here after. I'm too selfish to let you go as long as I am not hurting you."
"You're hurting me now," I pointed out.
"You'd be hurting more if I was gone," he said stepping closer.
I didn't care if he was right because at that moment he came forward and kissed me again he didn't hesitate as I lifted my arms to feel his soft hair and I shivered when he did the same to me. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist as he brought his hand to my lower back to support me. I deepened the kiss, pushing my mouth as close to his without opening my lips. I tilted my head back as Edward moved from my lips to my jaw, I shuddered in anticipation as his lips reached my jugular and I begged as I had before for him to pierce my skin.
He opened his mouth and I could feel him rub the venom on my skin before closing his lips once more and moving back up to my lips. He kissed me more, his lips felt like heaven on my lips and it felt like I was waking up from a fog when he pulled his lips away from mine.
"it's a good thing you get ready fast or we wouldn't have time fro this."
I ignored his voice and tried to make contact with face again but he pulled away and chuckled. "You're mom's coming up soon and you need to brush your hair."
I smoothed it out self-consciously before he kissed me quickly again. On instinct I reached on my tippy toes to make the kiss last longer. He pulled away though and jumped out of my window.
I ran to my mirror and reapplied my lip gloss, rebrushed my hair and smoothed my dress all before I heard Jason knock on my door.
"You're mom sent me," he said from the other side, "She was wondering if you're ready to go?"
I checked myself in the mirror quickly and frowned when I saw my lips still swollen from kissing. "Yeah," I mumbled opening my door, I purposely didn't look at Jason and ran towards the stairs. "Race you!"
I bolted down the stairs and before I realized it the world jerked out from under me, Jason's strong hands quickly appeared at my waist and kept me upright.
"You shouldn't wear heels," he laughed.
"No, I shouldn't" I laughed using the topic as an excuse to look at my feet, away from Jason.
Renee quickly appeared in the hall, "You look gorgeous Bella!" she practically shrieked.
"She's right," laughed Jason as we walked to the front hall.
Phil also joined our party as we all walked to the van, spotting myself in the reflection on the mirror I realized that my lips were now up to par and smiled at Jason awkwardly. He seemed not to notice anything wrong and chatted with Phil about what seemed to be last night's game.