Carlos POV
I am a little worried at the moment. Tatyana has been hanging out more with James. She laughs at things he says and smiles at him all the time. Well there goes her for one. I looked down at me helmet in my hands while sitting on my bed. To be honest….I never cared so much about one person in my life. Sure that whole James thing might stop with her but what if it doesn't? What if she asks him to be her boyfriend.
Thinking of that made my chest hurt like my heart was tearing slowly apart. I frowned and started to play with my helmet strap. Did I ever feel this much hurt before? Its been a day since Justin barged in and Tati is all gooey over James. From my prospective I say James is a woman magnet. He is a lot like one for sure. Picks up all the hot, cute girls.
Just face it Carlos. Tatyana Perkins loves James. Not you. And there is a lot to prove. A voice told me. I gripped the strap and stared down at it with a emotion that never happened before to me. I felt a tear run down my face thinking of it.
Tati will never love you. You don't deserve her. James loves her and she loves James. Look at yourself Carlos. Your not good enough for her. She deserves a tall smart man. NOT A CHILDISH KID!
More tears ran down my face. That voice wouldn't stop shouting at me. Maybe I am just a stupid childish kid. I put my helmet down on my bed and cover my eyes with my caramel hands and begin sobbing softly.
Tati doesn't love you. You can never love her. James is hers. Carlos you have no one. You're all alone with no one who cares about you. You're a nobody.
Those words replayed in my head giving me a head ache. I uncover my face and wipe my tears away. I looked up at the ceiling. I could hear James vomiting in the other room. He's gotten sick again but it was worse than before. He wont stop vomiting, he is getting really really skinny, he has a high fever burning to the touch, and he is so weak. As weak as a new born kitty cat. I really shouldn't be crying at the moment that Tati, the girl I love so much, is spending more time with him. I should worry more about James. He has all the signs of the virus….and it seems to be goin down the wrong trail…..the one that leads to death.
I chocked on air as I thought about that. I don't want my best friend to die. Who damn cares if he is to get Tati at this rate! I have to care about my friend. The one who was the first to be nice to me. The first kid who showed me Minnesota and the guys. The one guy who taught me to enjoy life when I was going through tuff times with my parents.
Tears swelled my eyes again. Someone did care for me. James Diamond did. He was everything to me. And now look at me. Crying over the fact that he is winning the girl I like. Stupid. Childish. Kid!
I punched my pillow as hard as I could to try to get the anger out. I saw my little rabbit BTBW I call Pookie fall from her hide under my pillow. I look at the stuff rabbit for a second and reach for it. I smiled at the little stuffed brown and white bunny rabbit wit the words "luv meh to deph Carlos" on it. I still remember I got the little rabbit from Ms Knight when I was a little kid just about 6 years old.
I'm not that good at writing songs but I have one playing in my head right now. I put Pookie back in her hiding spot and walked over to my, well me and Logan's, and take out a paper and pencil and begin writing.
Everythings going wrong
I thought I had a grip
But I only managed to fail
My hearts poundn'
Thinkn' bout you
I cant get yah off my mind
Are you really gone?
Have you really been take toll of?
I wish you were here
Just by my side
Chorus:
If I'm lost out there
Far away I can tell
Will you come find me?
Would you call out my name?
would you help me
find a way
Do you really have to choose
That side?: End of chorus
Wishing you'd come save me
From this drowning point
You're the only one that'll be here
So why must the angels cry?
Love is what you'll get from me
I'll be sure of that
I love you soo much
So much I'd die for you
Chorus:
Now I'm lost out there
Far away I can tell
Will you find me?
Will you call out my name?
Will you help me
Find a way
So what did you choose?
That side?
You gotta choose between us
Who will it be?
A lazy man or a funny guy?
I can see
Someone who'll pick you up on those days
And hug you all night
That's me
Come with me
And I'll show you the world
I'll bring you to places you can only imagine
I'll bring you up when you fall
I'd sing to you to cheer you
I'd love you forever
All life.
That's me.
Ohhhhh
That's me
Yaaahhhh
That's me
Ohhh yaaahh
That's me
I looked at my lyrics and smiled. This song is defiantly what I felt at the moment. It'll only take a smart person 34 hours to figure out the meaning. Or sooner?
Logan walked into the room and saw me writing. He walked up to me with and interested expression on.
"You actually wrote a song?!" Logan gasped in shock. I smiled blankly at him. I manage to smile as he read the lyrics in his hands. His eyes widened.
"Wow." Logan smiled at me.
"I just…..well…..i don't know why I did that…..it isn't good anyw-." Logan interrupts me.
"Carlos this song is amazing. I never knew you'd write that good in my life. I….Tatyana would love to hear this." Logan gives me a heart warming smiled and I blush a light pink.
"You really think so?" I asked shyly.
"Yah. Buddy…i know she will. All girls love, love songs about them." Logan grinned.
"It's not much of a love song…I think." I shrug and get up from sitting in the small chair.
"Well it's a love song slash competition. And I no who the other contestant is." Logan grinned at me, put the paper down, and then walked out of the room.
How was that? If your gonna look for the song…..i randomly took it out of my head. Please R&R