A/N: sorry I didn't update earlier today, I was sleeping. This chapter gets a little rant-ish at one point, If it gets confusing I was trying to add to the aspect of his childhood being a maze of uncertian hells.

Life in the von Karma manner was a boot camp of sorts. Up until I began high school, the only time I left the mansion was to go to court, or to the prison, where I would witness the proper way to prosecute or break a witness. Franziska was always with me on these excursions, but while at the house (I dare not call it a home), she was often in another room being tutored in something or other. I had my own set of teachers as well: at least one for every subject, and three for legal matters. But von Karma was the only teacher who mattered. The punishment for not knowing his lessons was worse than physical violence. It was fear, a deep-rooted fear that crammed into your heart and made your pulse race at any moving shadow, it was the knowing that you had disappointed him.

My life was full of hate and studies until the fall I began high school. I don't think I will ever know what made von Karma give up on me, but God, I was grateful. Franziska was devouring law books like a wood chipper, and I was soon thrown on the backburner. I kept up in my studies, I passed all my tests, I astounded anyone who even dared doubt my skills, but I was still put on the backburner. One day I was given possibly the best news of my life. I was to be sent to a boarding school to finish my education. A private English all-boys boarding school. Emotions wrapped around my brain. I remember walking the halls of that manor the last time before being sent off, and those thoughts will always be prominent in my mind, those clear-cuts emotions, like scars in my memories.

Jealousy: Why did SHE get to stay, what had I done that was causing me to be tossed away (even though I was still a dog on a leash)? She was young, and a GIRL, but she was still better than me! Being a perfect prosecutor was all I had left. I had no real family, I had no other dreams. I wanted to be the best, and to be the best you must be taught by the best. But my mentor, the one who took me in after my father's murder, threw me out with the trash, all because he was focusing on his precious daughter!

Anger: I wasn't good enough for him! Who did he think I was, my father? My dumb father who got killed in a COURT HOUSE. I wasn't weak. I could prove myself. I am better than they think I am and I know it. I will go to that shitty boarding school and become a better lawyer than anyone, then they will see who Miles Edgeworth really is…

Guilt: Oh God, I'm leaving her all alone in that house. I know we weren't supposed to be close, but I still love her as a sister. And she's alone with that man she calls 'Papa.' Why should I get to escape and not her? She may have the potential for being the best, but at what price? What will I not be able to save her from? I can never save anyone, not my father, not my sister, not myself. And here I am, running off to a boarding school, to a sanctuary and leaving her.

Joy: I was leaving. I was going to be free. I could have friends, I could have FUN! Those two forbidden words would soon be mine. Finally, I could become my own person. I didn't have to breathe, sleep, and eat law anymore. This stale manor would be gone by morning and I could talk. I wouldn't have to wait to be addressed, I wouldn't have to read only law texts, I would be able to delve into aspects of life I've only dreamed about. Things I've only seen when sneaking a look at a magazine or newspaper. This pressure is finally off of my chest and I can breathe. The air tastes ripe with freedom.

And finally the most overwhelming feeling that racked my brain.

FEAR: What if I'm not good enough? What if he changes his mind? What if they all HATE me? What if I fail? Can I learn in an actual classroom? What happens after I graduate? What if they make fun of me? Why and I being such a baby over it, oh God they're going to hate me and call me names. I will never fit in. Even I know I'm not normal. What if the uniform makes me look scrawny and weak? Will they beat me up? What happens if they beat me up? I don't know anyone, I never will, I'll always be afraid. Afraid of losing more people. I don't know what will happen…

All of those feelings ravaged my poor teenage mind. I was so confused and dazed at the aspect of my escape and I couldn't cope. I don't remember what my first feelings on the subject were, but they were the most I had felt in that house besides pain. I could tell my mind was slipping. All these feelings silently played on my features.

I gazed at the clock; confusing flashbacks had officially eaten an hour of my time. And he still wasn't home…

I sat there, in silence with my head propped up in my hands. It was at least five in the morning, and I could feel sleep slowly creeping up on me. All of the same stereotypical worries plagued my thoughts. He cheated. He isn't coming back. Something happened. He's dead. I was pathetic, a deprived little boy turned into a clingy, black-hearted bastard.

I pushed out my chair and stood, disgusted. I knew I had spent hours worrying about a guy who couldn't care less, a guy who I really didn't like all that much. But the truth took shelter in the back of my mind. I could hear the real fears whispering. You don't want to be alone, you're just filling the hole in your heart, it's because you don't think you can have the person you want. But I couldn't let something like that plague me. I had to be strong, even if it meant being weak a different way.

I had been pacing, unconsciously walking the room with my hands in my pockets and a grimace on my face. I look at the desk clock once more, 6am. Finally, I give up.

I go through the routine of changing, brushing my teeth, and getting into bed. In the dark, the stucco on my ceiling makes patterns. The shadows overlap and form pictures. I see a dog, an oni, a face. I squint at the face and make it the one I want to see. My lips twitch into a smile, and I think about ruining my ceiling and using a marker to outline that face. I will never admit it out loud, but above me was the face I want to see every night before I go to sleep. Finally I fall asleep, with that stupid smile on my face

A/N: Hmm I wonder who's face it is.... I BET ITS PESS. DERP DERP (not realy)