I wrote this chapter a long time ago but never uploaded it, thinking the first chapter needed more Rachel Berry-ness but it turned out to be pretty awsome anyway. Please read and tell me what you think. The more reviews the more faster I try to update lol.
Of Panties, Bras, and Spanky Pants XD
Chapter 1: Restore Badass Reputation
"What the fuck?" Noah Puckerman was in a mode of pissed off shock. Just when he was about to park in his designated parking space, which was conveniently a nice make-out spot under the shade of the trees in the left corner of the parking lot by the football field, a 1974 Volkswagen Golf swerved in front of him and stole the parking space, his parking space.
What made the situation even more "fucked" was the fact that Jewfro of all people hopped out of the front seat. He was in a rush so he didn't even acknowledge the mo-hawked football player who was sitting behind the wheel of his truck looking like he was ready to kick some Jewfro ass. Puck watched him rush into the front entrance of the school. 'Must uve spotted Berry's plaid skirt or something,' he put his car in park right behind the Golf, (not in a parking space). He grabbed his bag out of the back seat and got out of his truck cracking his knuckles ready to do some damage, but then he was distracted.
"Puck!" he took a deep breath and turned to Quinn who was crossing the parking lot to get to him.
"What's wrong is the baby coming?" Puck looked down on the X-Cheerio with true concern forgetting about Jacob Ben Israel completely.
"No stupid. I just need money for prenatal vitamins." Quinn put her hand on her hip and waited for his response that took longer than she would have liked it to. Puck didn't say anything he just reached in his wallet that he grabbed from his back pocket and gave up the last of his pool cleaning money, about fifty bucks.
"Thank you," when Quinn said that Puck had almost thought she meant it. She started to walk off as she stuck the money in her hand bag. She was having a hard time doing so while trying to carry her books too.
"You want me to carry your stuff?" Puck asked walking beside her, grabbing one of her two books before it fell to the ground.
"I can't have you doing everything for me." Quinn smiled and gently took the book back after straightening herself out. "Bye Puck." That's when he noticed his surroundings he was inside the school and Quinn had gone in the opposite direction to her locker. Every time he was with Quinn he always did something he wasn't aware of. Jewfro was lucky that his baby mama passed by. If she didn't Jewfro would be eating fist right now.
Besides right now he would do anything for Quinn. After she got kicked out of her house and dumped by Finn when the whole Babygate truth came out, he realized that he was the only one his daughter and she had. He wasn't going out with her or anything because he was a badass and couldn't be chained to one girl without getting his "needs" from others, only the hot others. He noticed that he and Quinn didn't mix and the only reason he really fell for her in the first place was because of his baby in her belly. Even though she was the one who lied and cheated, everyone in Glee seemed to avoid him even more than before and a couple of them hated him: Finn, Mercedes, and Kurt. The last two still talked to Quinn though. The only person who didn't avoid him was freaking Rachel Berry but he avoided her so technically, she didn't count. She was so fucking irritating even though she seemed to calm down after they dated for a day, a week or however long it was. He carried a lighter in his pocket just in case. Mike and Matt never fucked him over but when they tried to hang out with him they got mean looks from the rest of the freaks, Gleeks.
Quinn had a pathetic expression on her face as she leaned against her locker. She was supposed to be collecting her books for Mr. Shue's first period Spanish class but, the happy cheerios passing by distracted her. They were discussing their recent received invitations to Lacy, Alice Martin's, Halloween Sixteen party.
She remembers having that life, being that girl who her parents were proud of, who the cheerios looked up to. She loved hiding behind her cheerios uniform and performing rigorous jump rope routines. The only thing she was worried about a few months ago was a bar-b-que stain ruining her cheerios uniform.
Now she was weighed down by baby mamma drama that included: Finn ignoring her, Puck practically begging to be a part of her bastard child's life, and everyone feeling sorry for her which she hated the most. Every Glee club member gave her miserable 'I'm so sorry Quinn' stares every time she walked into Glee rehearsal. The last thing she wanted was sympathy. Rachel apologized so many times that Quinn lost count even after she told her-
The slamming of the locker next to her caught her attention. Fin didn't even turn to look at her as he threw his back pack over his shoulder while keeping his recently aquireded 'I'm never speaking to you again' exterior. She watched him silently. She was about to open her mouth to call out his name but she knew better. She was the last person he wanted to talk to. As she watched Finn walk off her eyes started to water but she quickly blinked them away when she saw Rachel watching from her locker across from Quinn's with a poignant expression. Rachel couldn't stop thinking that Finn and Quinn's divergence was her fault because she told Finn the truth.
Before Quinn could tell Rachel how much her hands resembled a man's, she spotted a group of football players, each holding a slushie and she and Rachel weren't curious enough to find out the flavors. The two girls turned to each other their eyes widening. They started to escape in the opposite direction, but two more football players were spotted coming their way. Rachel dropped her backpack and kicked it out of harm's way remembering how embarrassingly difficult it was last time to explain the blue soaked homework assignment to her third period teacher. Quinn was across the hall from her and she seemed to have the same idea as she took off her favorite white laced sweater and did the same as Rachel did with her backpack. She figured she would rather have hallway filth play across her sweater than grape slushie.
Rachel and Quinn shut their eyes tight which kind of always helped the slushie from stinging their eyes out of their sockets. They both got blueberry slushie facials and before they could make their escape to bathroom and call for back up the other two football players who they spotted first got them from behind, soaking the blonde's and brunette's hair with cherry slushie. They practically ran to the school bathroom hearing the loud laughter of the student body and the high fives of the four football players as they stormed off. The two girls hid in separate bathroom stalls, sitting upon the closed toilet stools ready to burst in to tears. Rachel quickly texted Tina, while Quinn texted Santana.
"I can't believe I've sunk to the same pathetic level as you." Rachel heard Quinn's voice echo off the white tiles of the bathroom floor.
Rachel wiped the slushie off her face with her hands. "Well at least we're not in this alone. I'm sure this situation would be much more dolorous if we were." Rachel wasn't really trying to cheer Quinn up. She was just happy that she wasn't in this bathroom alone waiting for the laughter outside the bathroom to disappear like she did so many times before.
Quinn didn't want to admit that she had a point. She remembered how lonely it had been when she first got slushied with Fin. He wasn't a girl so he couldn't accompany her in the stall she sat in now. 'Well at least back then he tired to come in with me no matter how much I protested.'
Within five minutes the bathroom was filled with the six female Gleeks. Tina had gotten Rachel and Quinn's change of clothes from their lockers. Mercedes carried Kurt's huge make-up kit that contained everything from a nail file to shampoo. (Kurt would have been there if this wasn't his only period that he had in common with Finn.) Santana and Brittany stole every clean towel they could find in the Cheerio stash while sneaking past Ms. Sylvester.
"What the hell?" Mercedes asked as she saw Rachel and Quinn's new looks that neither of them could rock. They were soaked with so much slushie that the bottom of Quinn's baby doll dress was still dripping and the bathroom reeked with the smell of a mixture of artificial cherry and blueberry flavoring that stung Santana's nose.
"Let's make this snappy before the janitor comes and makes us take over his job." Santana put a towel over nose to try to stop the strong smell from doing anymore damage to the headache she just received after inhaling the odor.
After a good forty five minutes of cleaning/make-over-ing while laughing and singing their Halo/Walking on Sunshine mash-up, Rachel and Quinn were slushie free smiling in the mirror.
The bathroom looked like a red and blue flood had sunk it under and soap suds covered the floor as a result of a little bit too much shampoo. Brittany called herself cleaning when she took a hand full of water from the sink and threw it to the floor making one small spot of blue, red, and suds slip into the waffle drain in the middle of the bathroom floor.
Usually the other five girls would give her the 'What the hell Brittany?' stares but today their bond got a little closer and soon all of them were running around with cupped water filled hands. Water splashed across the white tile and laughter echoed through the bathroom. Then they started laughing even harder as they started to sprinkle each other with water causing their own water sprinkle war. By the time they realized that their running around and splashing and sprinkling water was only making the bathroom worse they stopped. Standing in silence as their giggles died down, they stared at the floor that resembled the after effect of someone peeing cherry and blueberry slushie after chugging at least ten 7/11 large size cups.
"Shit." Mercedes said loud enough for the other five to hear. Everybody had wide eyed expressions that said we need to get the hell out of her before somebody comes but all worry disappeared when Brittany burst into laughs not noticing the deep shit they could get into if the janitor walked in. Brittany grew quiet when they heard the bathroom door swing open.
"So I told her to get a life. No geeks are aloud at my party…" Lacy toned down at the end of her sentence as soon as she saw the gleeks standing around a mess they seemed guilty of. The cheerio was leading a group of five into the bathroom. Rachel exhaled a deep breath that she just realized she was holding in. She was pleased to find out that her permanent record wasn't at stake due to her sudden vivacious behavior.
"What are you freaks up to?" Alice pushed herself between Tina and Brittany shoving their shoulders as she passed. Rachel wouldn't have said anything if the other cheerios hadn't also so pushed through her and Mercedes.
"'Excuse me' is an efficient expression to use when walking past someone. " Rachel held her hands at her sides and managed to not seem intimidated by Alice Lacey Martin.
"Shut it Man-Hands. Since when did you freaks become 'someone'?" You're nobodies who are the sub-basement of this social hierocracy." Alice applied her watermelon lip gloss as she looked at Rachel from the mirror. The peanut gallery that followed her in laughed at her comment.
"Who the hell pushed you on your high horse?" Santana asked crossing her arms and squinting her eyes. She had an attitude that could make any bitchy cheerleader flinch.
"I'm sure that you freaks have heard about my Halloween Sixteen. Everyone's begging on their hands and knees for an invitation. All the cheerios are invited of course…" A smile began to form on Brittany's face but it turned into a frown as soon as she heard the rest.
"But only the straight ones," she giggled at her own little joke along with the other five cheerios at her side. Mercedes was about to pull the bitch's hair out but Tina rested a hand on her shoulder to hold her back. This made Alice notice the other girls who crowded the bathroom. "Stutter and Tacky aren't invited either." Just as Rachel was about to speak up for them Alice said, "Pippi Long Stockings and The Little Too Cheery Hoe, do I even need to say it."
Every one of the six girl's faces turned angry and depressing at the same time. "W-we don't want to g-go to your party anyway." Tina managed to say.
"I do." Brittany said as the cheerios started to break into a fit of laughter while exiting the bathroom.
"She's such a bitch. Let's get the hell out of here and pretend that this bonding unpopular thing never happened." Everyone nodded in agreement to Santana's words…except Rachel.
"But-," Rachel started.
"Save it RuPaul, the last thing we need to do is pretend that we're friends just because we're in Glee." Before Rachel could respond to that comment the bell rung and Rachel was the first one out after realizing she had missed a whole class period for the first time in her high school career.
"This tastes like shit." Puck stuck his plastic spork through Thursday's meatloaf surprise holding it up and staring at it. "What the hell is in this?"
"I don't know man but I'm not eaten it. I think it's best to skip next period and go to 7/11." Matt couldn't go to Glee this afternoon on an empty stomach or he'd fall out while pulling of some awesome dance moves. He didn't want to be remembered as going down that way at his funeral. Matt and Mike split up at lunch. Matt would sit with Puck every Tuesday and Thursday while Mike would sit with Finn. Mike would sit with Puck on Monday and Wednesday while Matt would sit with Finn. Finn didn't really recognize the pattern but he understood that Mike and Matt still considered Puck their friends. Matt and Mike usually sat together on Friday and Puck and Finn would usually rush to the cafeteria to get the third spot. The four of them still sat at the football/cheerio table but at different ends.
"Hells yeah. I got math next period anyway." Just as he was about to get up a heavy hand rested on his shoulder and he sat back down.
"What's up Puckerman? Rutherford," Matt and Puck nodded their heads in response as Karofsky took the empty spot next to Puck. "Just came over here to remind you two of how you've lost your pull."
"Thanks for the reminder Pubes." Puck got up from the table and Karofsky was a little pissed about hearing his old nickname.
"You're still a loser Puckerman," the hockey player said it loud enough for only Puck to hear. Matt shook his head and got up to follow Puck.
Puck couldn't help but think about Dave's words and considered himself a pussy for letting Pubes get to him, but Karofsky was right. In the last three months he managed to join Homo Explosion, get slushied, get his parking space stolen by Horny Jewfro, dumped by two cheerios (Quinn and Santana), and not to mention being dumped by the Queen of Freaks, Berry. His reputation had gone from Badass to Lima Loser. Even though knocking up his best friend's girl, which he wasn't really proud of, gave him a few ass hole points it wasn't enough. He hadn't had a cougar ever since the cold fall season started, no pools to clean, and Santana would only give it up on a good Friday when she wasn't with Brittany. He had to get his badass reputation back and he knew exactly how to do it. Slushies never failed him before. Except that one time but that doesn't matter.
"I want a bra this time."
Rachel rolled her eyes as Jacob followed her down the hallway a little too closely. He was very persistent and seemed to keep up no matter how fast she walked down the red lockered halls.
"Leave me alone Jacob. Do I have to remind you of my restraining order against you every time we come across one another?" Rachel sighed as she reached her locker knowing that now Jacob would be breathing down her neck because he didn't have to keep up with her walking.
"If you provide me with your under garments. I won't release this morning's slushie facial victims, so give up the pink cotton." She could feel his meatloaf surprise breath playing across her neck as she got her books from her locker and it was a sensation that she didn't enjoy. He was definitely too close. Her eyes widened as she turned around and noticed Noah coming her way with a large size slushie and she couldn't believe that she was going to be slushied twice in one day. That was a record to even her.
"I am apathetic about the blog. Please get away from me." Rachel didn't want to be slushied in this situation and Jacob was just asking for violence which Rachel usually wouldn't see as the answer. He was just so aggravating so she pushed him away from her trying to make her escape from Noah and Jacob at the same time. Her plan failed.
"You touch me. I touch you." Jacob said that in the creepiest voice and grabbed her by her rest.
"Get off me!" Rachel was about slap him across the face but instead closed her eyes tight as she saw Noah approaching. Jacob didn't notice Puck because he was in 'I'm horny over Rachel' land. Puck turned the large cup upside down over Jewfro's head. Rachel didn't feel ice upon her face so she opened her eyes as Jacob let go of her wrist. She saw a slushie soaked Jacob being pushed against her locker by Noah who had a good grip on his neck.
"Fuck off Jewfro," Puck didn't even turn to look at Rachel. He just walked past her as Jacob gasped for air as a reaction to Puck's release. Rachel glanced down at her outfit and not one drop of slushie stained it. She left Jacob crying on the floor as she ran after Noah Puckerman.
Okay so his "Slushie Berry Get Badass Reputation Back" idea didn't go as planned…shit.
"Noah! Wait please! Noah!!" Rachel's short legs were trying to catch up to Puck's long strides.
'Time to light myself on fire.' Puck didn't want to slow down. In fact he only wished he could move faster, but the sound of her beautiful voice, not that he thought she was beautiful or anything, releasing his real name made him stop in his tracks.
"Ow." The stop was so sudden that Rachel managed to bump into his back. Rachel's heart skipped a beat as she mistakenly inhaled his intoxicating manly scent from his red varsity's lettermans jacket. Puck couldn't even hold back his smile as he turned around to see her blushing and cutely rubbing her forehead as a result of the impact.
"What the hell do you want Berry?"
Thank you for making it this far!!!! :D I can't wait to see what you guys think!!! Well it is my first GLee fic so I think I'm a little over excited!!! XD PuckleBerry Forever!!!