Chapter 27 – Everything Old is New Again

Later upstairs, Corday and Romano were performing a complicated procedure, but they had both eased into the typical OR small talk as if she'd never left. "Not much has changed around here while I've been away." She commented.

"Same old, same old."

"There are a few new faces, but all in all, it's nice to see so many staff still around from the old days. That new ER nurse seems nice, Grace."

"Mmm hmm."

"Seeing her reminds me of when Carol was pregnant with the twins. I wonder if she and Doug are still in Seattle?"

"Forceps. Lizzie clamp off that bleeder."

"Got it. I understand Grace isn't married. I'm so out of the loop these days, but I can't help wondering if the father is someone on staff. She seemed a bit guarded about the subject, although I suppose it's really none of my business."

"No it's not, Lizzie." He said bluntly while he glared at her, and she sensed she'd hit a nerve, but pressed on a bit.

"I must say, given the circumstances surrounding her departure from County, I'm rather surprised she would come back and risk subjecting herself to..." she stopped herself just short of continuing and looked up at Romano.

"To yours truly? Come on, Corday. Don't start something you don't intend to finish."

"You can't deny you have a reputation for having a rather peremptory manner, Robert. Especially when dealing with subordinates."

"You think I'm an evil, vindictive prick, incapable of admitting I'm wrong. Luckily I'm also completely devoid of human emotion or I'd be deeply wounded, Lizzie."

"You needn't be so dramatic, Robert."

"And yet I somehow managed to put my ego aside, and let you back into the fold. Granted, without the fancy title or the salary, but hey, I guess beggars can't be choosers."

"I'd hardly call it begging." Corday said firmly.

"Oh, that's right, you just strongly suggested it would be in our best interest to bring you back on staff, in light of your overwhelming accomplishments achieved while employed by the British Empire." He added, mocking her accent at the end.

Corday giggled a little under her mask.

"It's comforting to know I still amuse you."

"There's a fine line between humor and hostility, Robert." She grinned.

"Yeah, and life and death…careful you don't nick the vena cava."

"You have to admit, it does seem a bit strange."

"What?"

"The fact that she'd come back here, to County, when clearly she'll just be leaving again on maternity leave soon."

"And what's even more curious is why the hell you're so interested?"

"I'm not, it's just…I don't know, call it women's intuition."

"Oh, please. Spare me the two dollar psychoanalysis, Lizzie."

"I'm just concerned for her, that's all. I thought I might be able to offer her some support, as one single mother to another."

"So the Hippocratic Oath wasn't enough for you? You feel the need to follow in the footsteps of your namesake, the patron saint of hospitals and nurses?"

"Why do you insist on making this about me, when we're talking about Grace?"

"Because, Lizzie," he said in a very low, firm tone, "we're not talking about Grace. Whatever you heard about her quitting is strictly confidential information. You of all people should know that." He said, chastising her. "

"Oh, don't be so righteous, Robert. You and I both know you interpret the rules to best suit you. It wasn't so long ago in this very room you had me operating on your dog!"

"Well you won't have to worry about history repeating itself. Gretel's gone off to the big fire hydrant in the sky."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She said sincerely. "I know how much you cared for her."

"Are you being facetious, Lizzie? Bit of a low blow to make fun of man's best friend." He said abruptly.

"Not at all. Seeing you care so much for your pet let us see another side to you, Robert. It proves you are capable of being human…at least every now and then." She smirked and looked over at Shirley who hid her own grin by looking up at the clock.

"Careful Lizzie, that almost sounded like a compliment."

"You shouldn't be so afraid to show that side more often. It's not a sign of weakness to be caring and compassionate, Robert."

"I'm sorry, I thought the only bleeding heart in the room would belong to the patient."

"Deny it all you like, but a late night delivery of pizza and Cherry Garcia ice cream will forever be etched in my memory. I still don't know how I made it through that procedure." She said, shaking her head as the memory suddenly seemed quite vivid.

"All things considered, the occasion did warrant some sort of recognition for your unwavering fortitude. You know I've always been your biggest fan, Lizzie."

"The gesture was very impressive, even to Mark." She lamented and suddenly became reminiscently thoughtful. "Seems like a lifetime ago in some respects, but somehow being back here…it's as though I never left."

"We're all glad to have you back, Dr. Corday." Shirley chimed in. "The OR hasn't been the same without you." She added, raising her eyebrows.

"Thank you, Shirley. It's nice to know someone missed me around here." Corday winked back.

"Should I leave you two alone? Although come to think of it, it may be more fun if I stay and watch."

"No offense Shirley, but I've always thought that Weaver was more my type." She shot back, not missing a beat.

"Well, that would explain a lot." He nodded to himself. "You know you may have to get in line, though. I hear Kerry's keeping house with a hot firefighter these days."

"Just proving that there's someone for everyone…well, almost everyone." She said, glaring at Romano.

"Are we almost done here or do you plan to spend the entire day inside this guy's chest?"

Corday sighed, exasperated. "I'm just completing the final exploration of the thoracic cavity. There, I'm ready to close, " she added confidently. "I was hoping we could grab a coffee or something after we're finished here. I need to get up to speed on a few things when you have a minute."

"As long as it's not more idle gossip about ER staff. I'll meet you in the surgical lounge."

"I was thinking of that little coffee shop around the corner? I can actually hear myself think in there."

"Fine, whatever." As they walked out of the OR he held the door open for Corday. "Another perfect surgery, Lizzie. It's good to have you back."

When they first arrived at the coffee shop, Elizabeth seemed a bit nervous. They got down to business and reviewed some of the policy and procedural changes since Corday had been away. Once the work issues were out of the way, she finally said what she'd brought him there to say.

"Robert?"

"Hmm. What? If this is about Edson stealing your patients, I've already ripped him a new one. I doubt he has the stones to try it again anytime soon."

"No, it's not that."

"Then what? You can't just waltz back in here and expect me to give you all the sexy procedures right off the bat. You'll have to take your turn on the rotation just like everyone else."

"Robert, uh, it's just that I…"

"Look, whatever it is, Lizzie, just spit it out. I have a lot to do today."

"Right. Well, I just wanted to say…I wanted you to know that my decision to come back to Chicago wasn't just because of this job."

"Uh huh. Do tell." He said, sounding intrigued.

"I missed you, Robert." She said, smiling warmly. He stared intently at her as she continued on. "After Mark died, I went running home to the safety and security of London, but as time passed, I had to admit that I really missed Chicago. But it wasn't just the city and the hospital…I missed you too." She took a deep breath and continued, "I've finally realized I'm ready to move on with my life…and I feel I'm ready to explore a personal relationship with you, Robert."

Never expecting her to drop this bomb, he immediately reacted by going on the attack, as he tried to come to grips with her shocking confession. "And what exactly do you expect in return, for your little day late and a dollar short epiphany?"

"Well, I…"

"You think you can just walk back in here and assume I'd be waiting with open arms?"

"Well, yes, I guess I did." She replied, taken aback at his reaction.

His sly grin almost became a bit of a sneer. "You always knew you were 'it' for me, Lizzie. I backed off when you lied about not dating colleagues, only to find out you were already doing the nasty with Peter…and then you moved onto Greene. It was always there for me, smoldering just below the surface but I tried to show you your due respect. One word from you, one look was all it would've taken." He added in a low, sultry voice, as he leaned in across the table, his eyes nearly boring a hole right through her.

As he continued, he took on a more chastising tone. "I helped you regain your confidence to perform surgery after you turned poor old Mr. Patterson into a gimp, and I was instrumental in getting the CDC to call off the witch hunt when they thought you were killing all your patients with post-op infections. I was there for you when Ella nearly OD'd on sisterly love and again when Mark died. Hell, I was the one who urged you to go to back to him in the end when you weren't sure if you could handle it. But I finally moved on, Lizzie. I had to, for self preservation. You can't expect after all this time that I'd just be sitting here, pining for you, waiting on the off chance you might finally change your mind and throw me a bone?"

Corday sat silent, hit with a harsh dose of reality. The way he spoke so bluntly about his take on their history, made it seem as though she'd never been anything but a selfish tease, using him for friendship and support, but never giving back anything in return.

"I have a life, here, Lizzie. Not to mention that I'm not even available, contrary to your little shot at sarcasm in the OR. As a matter of fact, I'm in love with someone else."

"I'm so sorry, Robert. I didn't think…"

"I know you didn't. It's always been about you, Lizzie."

She shot him a look of disbelief.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is the truth a bit too hard to handle? Look, I've always been brutally honest. Bruised some egos, hurt some feelings, provoked more than a few tears. But I put my heart on a sleeve with you so many times, and I vowed I'd never do it again. I may be inherently stubborn, but I'm not a masochist."

"I guess I was just so wrapped up in my own life, dealing with my own problems. It hasn't been easy for me…moving to London, raising Ella on my own..." She hoped for a small glimpse of understanding, but was having a hard time reading him. "Look, I'm sorry for putting all this on you, Robert. I won't bring up the subject again." She said sheepishly.

"Excellent. So are we done here?"

"Yes, I guess we are."

Romano was quiet when he got home that night, but not overly noticeable to Grace who was exhausted after her shift and didn't last long before heading off to bed. As he lay there beside her in the dark, his mind replayed years of fighting, laughing, testing and challenging Corday. For years he lived for the slightest encounter that would result in a heated debate. The energy exchanged during these moments was as close as he would ever come to a sexual encounter with her, although for years he'd naively hoped it could progress into something much more satisfying. It was true, he'd put up a good front with Corday earlier, but he wasn't altogether sure there wasn't still a piece of him that longed to explore the forbidden unknown that had for years been his obsession. After all these years, she was finally willing to grant him his eternal wish, but fate it seemed had a cruel sense of timing.

As he turned over to watch Grace sleep, he felt immediate guilt. She seemed so peaceful and content, lying there in the dark and he reached out his hand to stroke her gently. His reality was staring him straight in the face as the baby gave a firm kick, nearly knocking his hand away and his mind continued to contemplate past and present. As he struggled to fall asleep, he was reminded of his first encounter with Grace and how he had become smitten with her that first night in the parkade as she cursed out her car. She had sparked something within him, that he had kept buried for so long, afraid to let it rise back up to the surface. Over the coming weeks, he had teased her, provoked her, punished her and pushed her to the breaking point, and yet here she was, firmly by his side in every sense and about to give birth to his child.

Knowing what he should do was easy, reality was an entirely more complicated matter. Having Corday back at County was one thing, as long as feelings were kept firmly entombed in the past where they belonged. But her revelation had thrown him into a frenzy of rekindled unresolved, unfulfilled fantasies, which began to tease and tantalize him as sleeplessness turned from mere annoyance to full blown insomnia.