Author's Note: The journey has finally come to an end but I've had an absolutely great time writing this story. I hope I've done the characters justice and created a satisfying read for those of you who have stopped by to peak in. Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback - it's been a pleasure to have had the opportunity to create a world where our fearless leader didn't meet with demise. Enjoy!

Chapter 30 – And in the End

As time passes according to its own agenda, in the end, we're all just lucky enough to have been given a ticket to ride along. We jump on optimistically and expectantly, oblivious to its value, its power, and one could argue that we're all at its mercy; this cruel 'gift' – time, will ultimately bring only sorrow and pain, won't it? Time is in constant motion, usually too slow or too fast and rarely at the pace we choose, but yet for each of us, it has a beginning and an end too. And all the while, this ticking time bomb if you will, is hidden and lurking as we are indeed, busy making other plans, and in doing so, it can be easy to get caught up in all the bunk.

We worry if we don't make the next traffic light; we'll be late or at least later than we want to be, and that in of itself will cause a huge chain reaction to the start of another day. The drycleaner lost your favorite dress and your evening is forever spoiled because you had to choose a replacement, and you know that nothing else could be as perfect as the now unavailable piece de resistance. The line-up at the grocery store is moving at a glacial pace and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the customer in front of you pulls out a wad of coupons that would choke a horse, and better still, she's paying entirely with dimes and nickels.

Ever present each and every day, these insignificant frustrations are unplanned and aggravating to deal with. They try to suck us in and distract us from the heart of our existence that beats like a clock, ticking ever so softly you'll forget about it altogether if you don't pay attention. And we should. We promise to, but often we don't. These annoyances and distractions can be all-consuming and for some, those who get dragged down and aren't able to pull themselves out from under, even fatal. These poor bastards – their daily strife turns to overwhelming despondency, leaving only a hollow shell dotted with fleeting moments of happiness, which over time, ultimately become too fragile to tolerate such impending doom. They succumb to it, desperately lost and without hope. No eternal springs here. And even those who are able to navigate the land mines quite adeptly, can still get side-tracked and veer off course without even realizing it.

The old souls can do it. They find a way to steer through the bunk and keep their eyes on the prize. Their enduring experience gives way to an intuitive wisdom and this gift allows them to see it all for what it's worth, cherishing every grain of sand pouring through that hourglass, big or small. When the time comes, and so it will for all of us, the best we can hope for is that there won't be anything of value worth taking. We will have lived it fully and completely; experienced it, been enveloped and loved by it, and even angered or sorrowed by it, until there is nothing left but the fulfillment of all its enduring memories. In the end, we can choose to beat it at its own game by simply draining it of everything it could possibly offer, and all the while, making sure we've had a damn good ride along the way.

When Grace woke up several hours later, she felt weak and disoriented. Romano was at her bedside, her hand firmly in his.

As her eyes opened slowly, she whispered, "I feel like I've been run over by a truck."

As tears fell down his face, his voice was breaking as he uttered, "We almost lost you there."

"I guess I'm not that easy to get rid of." She managed, trying her best to offer a smile.

An ICU nurse was quick to check Grace's vitals and then rushed off to alert the attending physician that she had regained consciousness.

"What happened?"

"You hemorrhaged. You lost almost half your volume and when your heart stopped…" He broke off as tried to pull himself together. "I felt so helpless watching them take you up to the OR."

She squeezed his hand reassuringly and replied, "No wonder I feel like the living dead."

"The surgery went well."

"So you say. But you know how surgeons lie." She added, letting her hand fall away from his. "I guess it's lucky we came to County and I had the baby in the ER after all. Wait a minute…the baby? Where's the baby?!" She blurted as she became more alert.

"Don't worry, she's fine." He said, stroking her hair from her forehead. "She's in the nursery. They can bring her to you later, once you're feeling a bit stronger. She's so beautiful and…"

"No, I want her here with me…now."

"Grace you're in no condition to…"

"Please, Robert! I want my baby!" Grace implored, her voice approaching a nearly hysterical pitch. She had an inherent need to see her daughter for herself. Through the haze of the past few hours, Grace had experienced a myriad of sensations, where faint images had turned to nonsensical dreams, her mind drifting in and out of a semi-conscious state. She felt as though she were floating slowly at first, like a leaf blowing gently on the wind, then suddenly spiraling downwards, it had become a struggle to fight back up again and everything she'd known as reality had become a complete blur. She needed to be sure she had not been dealt with yet another devastating blow.

"Okay. I'll get her for you, Grace, just take it easy. You've been through a lot. The last thing you need is to get upset."

"Don't you think it's a bit late for that?" She said, as some adrenaline kicked in and she was experiencing a slight surge in strength. "I've been through enough to know what I want and what I need, Robert. Please bring my daughter to me. I really need to see her…I just need to know she's real." She implored.

He nodded in quiet agreement and after leaving Grace's bedside to fulfill her request, Dr. Aquino arrived to assess her condition. She was more than pleased to see the vast improvement Grace had made, but cautioned her on doing anything that might hamper her recovery. "You need your rest and you need to avoid stress right now. I mean it, Grace. Your baby needs a strong, healthy mom. You had a close call and major surgery, but I think you'll be fine as long as you follow my advice." She smiled warmly as she spoke with a hint of scolding. "Now get some sleep and I'll be back to look in on you this afternoon."

Romano returned moments later and carefully handed the baby to Grace. As she slept soundly in her mother's arms, she was innocently unaware of all the drama that ensued during her entrance into the world.

"She's a miracle…our daughter." Grace said wistfully, gently stroking her baby's tiny fingers. "I never thought I'd be able to be a mother, after…everything." The realization hit her head on, as the tears flowed freely now. There was no more holding back; there simply couldn't be. In the here and now, Grace wept honestly, allowing herself to feel everything and she simply let it all wash over her. She felt as though she'd somehow navigated a tightrope and barely made it safely across to the other side.

After a moment quiet retrospection, she finally spoke up. "Walking in on the two of you and seeing you together was what I had been dreading these past few weeks. I knew you still had feelings for Elizabeth, but I'd hoped you would try to put them aside for me and for the baby. I wanted so much to believe you loved me more, that what we had together was all you needed and that you'd finally see that for yourself, but I guess I was just kidding myself, and wishing for something that just isn't possible." She turned her gaze back towards the baby, worried what she might see reflected in his eyes.

"No, you weren't. Nothing happened, Grace. You need to believe me."

"I used to know what I could believe in."

He shook his head slightly before his eyes met hers once more. He gazed intently, his conviction unwavering, although it was tearing him apart to see her staring back at him with painful despair. "I was telling her to leave when you walked in. It's not her I want, it's you…it's always been you." He added, gently reaching out to touch her cheek.

"If you really believe that, then you're not being honest with yourself, Robert."

"Grace, when she kissed me…when she touched me, and yes, even when she told me she wanted me, it was just the way I'd always imagined. I felt completely liberated."

Grace glared back at him, feeling her anger boiling up inside but before she could speak, they were interrupted by an ambitious nurse who was trying to check Grace's vitals again.

"Hey, nurse, whatever your name is? Take a walk." Romano barked.

The somewhat naïve-looking nurse, obviously new to County had no idea who she was choosing to cross, merely glared back at him. "Doctor's orders. I need to check Miss Hanson's vitals."

"Well do it later. We're in the middle of something here. I think I hear a bedpan calling your name. "

Ignoring him, she continued to go about the business at hand.

"Hey, hey! Did you not hear me or did you have 'get fired' on your list of things to do today?"

"Look, mister. I'm just trying to do my job. You'd better calm down or I'll call security and have you removed."

"Well, I seriously doubt that seeing as it's Dr. Romano to you, as in the Chief of Staff of this hospital and soon to be your very worst nightmare if you don't get the hell out of here!"

The nurse suddenly broke into tears, while Romano blurted "Oh that's brilliant. Did they teach you that in nursing school?"

Grace looked up at him disapprovingly. "Jesus, Robert, you never know when to stop, do you?"

Taking it down a notch, he faced the nurse and added, "Look, I'm just trying to have a private moment with my family here. Believe me, if Grace needs anything I'll be the first to know."

Grace was caught off guard hearing him refer to her and the baby as his family. He may not have realized it, but its impact was palpable.

He sat down and tried to continue their conversation. "You don't understand. It was liberating to realize Elizabeth wasn't at all what I wanted. A part of me had been holding onto something from the past, something I'd clung to for so long, I just didn't know how to let it go. I guess I thought I had until she came back, but it was right in front of me all the time. She just isn't you, Grace…and you're everything."

Grace looked back at him without uttering a word. She closed her eyes as she wrestled with her conflicted emotions.

He pulled his chair right up against the bed and moved towards her, so she could feel the warmth of his skin against her own. Quiet but determined, the tone of his voice penetrated her very soul. "I love you, Grace. You have to trust me. Please say you do. Say you feel it, that you know it in your heart."

After a quiet pause, she pulled away slightly and dared to ask the question. "I need you to forget where we are, and forget we've just had this huge, life changing 'moment'. You owe it to me to put all your cards on the table, once and for all and tell me if we really have a chance to be together; just the three of us, without a cloud hanging over our heads." She said, again trying to be strong as she cradled her newborn daughter, as though her entire future was hanging on by a thread.

He smiled, "You're everything I've always wanted, Grace, and so much more than I could have ever hoped for. It kills me to think I put you in a position where you would even question that and when I thought I was going to lose you..." He broke off, unable to continue for a moment. He wiped his eyes and then reached over to kiss her desperately.

As she embraced his kiss, the baby began to stir and Grace broke into a huge smile. She marveled at her newborn child and then searched his eyes for the truth and she found it, right where it had always been, but now more discernable than ever before. With everything they'd been through, the bond between them had held up to every possible test; cruel rejection, cool deception and too many bitter tears to count. She was willing to wipe the slate clean, close the door on their stormy past and embark on a new chapter in her life; one seen through her daughter's eyes and filled with the kind of trusting innocence that allows you to really live. One of her favorite writers, William Saroyan, said, "In the time of your life, live - so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." Having had an intimate understanding of how quickly and mercilessly everything can all be torn apart in the blink of an eye, Grace was willing to ride her decision home and take a chance on her future. She was finally ready to take a leap of faith and go forward, realizing she wasn't afraid to live anymore.

Through her tears of joy, Grace finally blubbered, "What should we name her?"

"I like Hope. It seems right when I think about what she's brought to our lives already."

"Hope Romano. I like the sound of that."

"Not Hope Hanson?"

"She's your daughter, Robert. I would never take that away from you."

"I didn't want to assume. From the first day down by the river when you told me about her, you did the brave thing and let me know I was going to be a father, even though you never wanted to see me again. You've always had enough courage for both of us."

As she shifted on the bed, Grace's strength began to wane and her pain level was steadily increasing. "What's a girl have to do to get some good drugs around here?"

"We should probably keep it to ibuprofen if you think you're still up to nursing."

"Right."

When he returned with a medication cup, she nearly overlooked its contents before ingesting it.

"Robert, what's this?" She asked, looking down at an elegant engagement ring.

"Come on Gracie, you know I'm no good at this stuff."

She beamed as she looked up at him. "You're just full of surprises today."

"Most of them inherently forgettable. I hope this one can help make up for the others. Jesus, Gracie. I never meant for this day to turn out like this. I was going to give it to you when you got home from work after the baby shower."

"I guess you'd better put in on and see if it fits."

"Is that a yes?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"The moment I saw it, I knew I had to get it."

"It's incredibly beautiful, breathtaking really. When did you buy it, Robert?" She asked quietly, and he seemed hesitant to answer.

"That day…after you told me about the baby. It gave me something real to hold onto, even when I wasn't completely sure if we'd ever make it back to each other again."

Grace sparkled as he put the ring on her finger and though emotionally and physically drained, she couldn't contain a burst of happiness as she finally had everything she had ever hoped for. As they looked down at their daughter, she felt as though her world was finally complete in every way possible.

THE END