I Promised I Would Return Chapter 5, a twilight fanfic

Chapter 5

Embry POV

Tonight was my first real date with Bella. I am not going to lie and say I don't feel kind of guilty dating her. Jake was my best friend and I did tell him I would look after her. I still can't believe he has been gone for almost two years. Where did the time go? I would like to think that Jake is looking down on us and is glad that Bella has someone that knows her and loves her. I have been in love with Bella since we were twelve. Jake knew that, but I promised I would never cause problems when he and Bella got together because I could see Bella was happy. I couldn't just stand by and watch Bella be so depressed. I knew what it did to her when she lost Jake and I would like to think that eventually I could heal her. I know I will never mean as much to her as Jake does, but if I can give her some happiness in her life that is enough for me.

I was taking Bella out for dinner in Port Angeles. Charlie was coming over to watch Jake Jr. Billy had a long talk with Bella last week. He told her that he knows how much she loves Jake. That he wouldn't want her to be alone and that it was okay to move on. Billy knew I kissed her. I told him as soon as it happened. I was so afraid of his reaction. He told me I was a good man and that he is glad I have been there for Bella when he couldn't be. He also said that if he had to see anyone with Bella besides Jake it would be me. That made me feel a little better. Less Guilty? Not so much. I just hope Jake would understand.

I got to Bella's a half hour early. Charlie had already been there and Bella was about ready to go. I knew this conversation was coming but that didn't mean I looked forward to it. I walked into the kitchen where Charlie and Jake Jr. were sitting.

"Hey buddy. How are you?" I asked Jr. He still didn't talk. Bella wasn't too worried about it and knew that he would start to talk soon.

"Hi Charlie. How are you?"

"Good Embry. How about you?"

"Good. Good. Thanks."

"Listen Embry as Bella's father I feel I have to say this. Bella is hurting really bad right now. Jacob was everything to her. She almost died herself when he was killed. If it wasn't for this little guy here I think she would have. All I am saying is be careful with her heart. Please don't hurt her. I don't think her heart could endure anymore."

"Charlie, Bella is safe with me. I would never do anything to hurt her. I will be here for her always. No matter how she wants me in her life. I will never leave her."

"Good enough Embry. Just remember I do own a gun and I am not afraid to use it if Bella gets hurt. Police chief or not. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" Whew! That was a little nerve wracking.

I heard someone approach the stairs and looked up and there was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Bella was an absolute vision. She was wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a red sweater. She had her hair up in a pony tail and left a few curls out to fall loosely at her face. Wow!

"What's wrong Embry? Am I not dressed ok?"

"Are you kidding Bella? You are beautiful. It took me a second to catch my breath after I saw you."

"Thanks Em." She blushed as she said that it was so cute on her. My heart warmed and her father's threat was a past thought.

"Ready to go?"

"Sure."

She gave Charlie to name of the restaurant we were going to and kissed Jake Jr. goodnight.

"See you later sweetheart. I love you. Thanks Dad. Love you."

"Of course Bells have fun."

I wasn't sure how she was going to react to Charlie calling her Bells, but she seemed ok. I forgot for a minute that Jake and Charlie were the only ones that called her that so she must be ok with her dad calling her that. We got into the car and started our drive to Port Angeles.

We talked a little about current events and different celebrities in the news. Part of me felt like we were looking for conversation to fill the time it took to drive, but it was uncomfortable. I think we were just avoiding the big pink elephant in the back seat.

The restaurant was perfect. Bella had mushroom ravioli and I got a steak. I forget sometimes that Bella is a vegetarian. I am not sure how she does it. I could never live through a day without some sort of meat.

We finished dinner and I paid the bill. "Wanna go for a walk around town?"

"Sure Em."

We walked out of the restaurant and walked around for a little while. I took her hand in mine thinking she was going to pull away, but she didn't. She wrapped her fingers around mine and leaned into me a little. Gosh I loved this woman. I would wait forever if that is what she needed. We stopped at a small coffee shop and got some coffee and dessert and sat outside watching people as they walked by. Then the pink elephant decided to join us.

"Listen Embry. You know I will never be whole again. There will always be a hole in my heart. I will never be able to give you all of it. I don't know if I am even ready to give you part of it. I like you…a lot. More than I should, but I just don't knows that I am ready to dive head first into a relationship."

"Bella. First of all, I know that Jake will always be in your heart. I wouldn't want it any other way. As far as not being able to give me your whole heart….I will take any part of it you are willing to give me. You shouldn't be ashamed of your feelings for me. No one expects you to never have feelings for another man again. We can take this as slow as you want to take it. I am in no rush. I am here for forever. I will never leave you. I have been in love with you since we were kids. I will always be here."

"Since we were kids? What are you talking about?"

"Bella I have loved you since I was twelve. I knew I never had a chance. You have always been so in love with Jake and there was nothing I could do even if I wanted to. My two best friends were happy and that was good enough for me. Please don't think I saw this as Jake is gone so now it is my turn to move in. It is not like that at all. All I wanted to do was be there for you. The day I kissed you I wasn't trying to make a move on you. It just kind of happened and brought all the feelings I had for you back to life."

"I didn't know that Embry. Did Jake know?"

"He knew how I felt about you. I never denied it to him. I just promised that I would never interfere."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving me all this time. For hiding your feelings so I could be happy with Jake. For always being there for me and Jake Jr. I don't know what I would have done without you. I know Jake will be gone for two years soon, but some days it is still so fresh for me. It is like I found out yesterday. Some days it isn't so bad."

"I know Bella. I know. He was an important part of my life too. I promise you that if this turns into something more than friendship that Jake will always be part of us. Always."

"Thanks Em."

"Sure. You ready to go home?"

"Sure. Sure." There was that phrase again. I could see in her face as soon as she said it what it meant to her, but she just smiled as we walked to the car.

BPOV

I was so nervous about going out with Embry. I almost changed my mind while I was getting dressed. I felt like I was betraying Jake. I know he has been gone for almost two years and that he told me he wanted me to move on in his letter to me, but Embry was his best friend. Would he be mad that it was him? I had developed some feelings for Embry and that scared me. I have been in love with Jake since I was fourteen years old. I never knew anything but Jacob. This was all so new, but I was going to try. Jake Jr. needed a constant male role model in my life and I really didn't want to be alone. I talked to Billy about it and he was very supportive.

**FLASHBACK**

"Bella listen to me. Jacob is gone and he isn't coming back honey. I know how much you miss him and how hard it is to be without him. Believe me."

"Yes, but Billy Embry was his best friend. What would he think of that?"

"He would be happy that you were going along with his wishes. He would be happy that it was someone he trusted almost as much as he trusted you. You deserve some happiness Bella."

"I don't know Billy it is still too soon."

"Bella, it has been almost two years. You are finally starting to get some life back into your eyes and I have only noticed that since you have been hanging out with Embry. No one is going to think anything of it."

"They are all going to think I am betraying Jake."

"Honey, I have talked to the guys, they want you to move on. They think like I do. Embry is a good man. He will take care of you and Jake Jr."

"You talked to the guys?"

"Yes, I wanted a second opinion. They don't think anything but good thoughts about it. They know how you feel about Jacob. You need help with Jr. too"

"Billy, no one will ever replace Jacob as his father. EVER!"

"That is not what I am saying Bella. I know that. Jake is irreplaceable, but he needs a male role model. Sure he has me and your dad, but we are not going to be here forever. He needs a father figure."

"You really are ok with Embry and me if we work out?"

"Yes honey I am. I want you happy and see the way you look at Embry. It is nowhere near the way you looked at Jacob, but I can see that look in your eyes."

"Alright. I will try. I am not making any promises though."

"I'm not asking you too Bella. I am just asking you to give it a chance."

**END FLASHBACK**

Dinner was great. We had a good time and I felt comfortable with Embry. I didn't have to try to keep a conversation with him. It was easy to talk to him about everything.

When we walked through town I was nervous. I didn't want to bring this up but I felt it had to be said. Embry needed to know how I felt.

"Listen Embry, You know I will never be whole again. There will always be a hole in my heart. I will never be able to give you all of it. I don't know if I am even ready to give you part of it. I like you…a lot. More than I should, but I just don't knows that I am ready to dive head first into a relationship."

"Since we were kids? What are you talking about?" How could I not know that Embry was in love with me? Surely Jake would have told me. Did Jake not know?

"I didn't know that Embry. Did Jake know?"

"He knew how I felt about you. I never denied it to him. I just promised that I would never interfere." So Jacob did know. I am not mad that he didn't tell me. I am just shocked. He never kept anything from me.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"I know Bella. I know. He was an important part of my life too. I promise you that if this turns into something more than friendship that Jake will always be part of us. Always."

It made me feel better to know that no matter what direction this relationship takes that Embry will always allow me to keep Jake in my heart. I couldn't be involved with another man that didn't understand that Jake would always be a part of me.

"Thanks Em."

"Sure. You ready to go home?"

"Sure. Sure." As soon as I said I thought about Jake and then I felt guilty at first for being here with Embry. I could swear I heard Jake's voice in my head. Be happy baby. Be happy.

That was all it took. I smiled as I went to the car knowing that Jake would be ok with this. It made me feel better about the whole date. Wow did I just call this a date? Maybe being with Embry wouldn't be so bad. I mean he is cute and sweet. Jake Jr. loves him to pieces. He treats Jr. so well. There is this fear in the back of my mind that one day Embry won't be here, even though he assured me he would never leave me, but we all know some things are out of our control.

When we got back to my house all the lights were out. Charlie must have fallen asleep.

"Wanna come in for a bit Em?"

"Sure Bella."

We went inside and I ran upstairs to check on Jake Jr. Charlie was asleep in the guest room and Jr. was sound asleep. I kissed his little head and went back downstairs to Embry. I could feel my stomach move its way up to my throat. I definitely wasn't ready for any kind of physical relationship. I wouldn't back away if Embry tried to kiss me, but I wouldn't go farther than that. I have never been with anyone sexually except for Jacob. I always figured he would be my first, my last and my always. I know that eventually if Embry and I do go somewhere in this relationship that I will have to have sex with him eventually, but I sure wasn't ready now.

When I went downstairs Embry was sitting on the couch. He was so handsome. He looked comfortable here. Maybe if we took things slow it would be ok. He loves me right? I am sure Jacob didn't tell me because he didn't want it to affect our friendship. Anyway the wolf is out of the bag now I suppose. We can't do anything about it now.

I went and sat next to Embry and we talked for a while about our childhood, some of the people we used to know and what happened to them, the guys. It was all really comfortable. I really did like Embry even if I didn't want to admit it at first. I know I ignored him after he first kissed me, but I just couldn't deal with it. I know it hurt him but he has forgiven me as far as I can tell.

"Well, Bella it's late and I should get home. I am glad we had this time to talk and I had a great time tonight. I hope we can do it again soon."

"I had fun too Em. I would love to go out with you again."

He turned around to walk out the door and stopped in his tracks and turned around to face me.

"Bella, can I kiss you?"

Fuck! I was afraid he was going to ask that. I don't want to hurt his feelings and say no. What harm could a kiss do?

"Yes"

Embry moved closer to me and stroked my cheek with his hand. I could feel the butterflies starting to move in my stomach. Part of them was because of what was happening in front of me and the other part was due to my memories of Jacob. Surprisingly enough I didn't feel like I was cheating on him. I thought for sure I would.

"You are so beautiful" He whispered to me. This was the moment of truth. Do I succumb to the kiss or pull away. I was torn for about two seconds, and then I realized that I wanted this. Jacob would always be alive in my heart, in my son, in my memories. He would always be with me, but I needed this. Billy, Quil, and Embry were right. He was never coming back and he wanted me to move on.

Embry moved his other hand to my other cheek and leaned into kiss me. I was ready. I could feel his hot breath on my face as he started to press his lips to mine. His lips were so warm. It had been so long since I felt someone else lips on mine that I felt my heart skip a beat.

The kiss started out soft and sweet. He didn't push too fast. He pulled away after a minute to look at me to see if I was ok. He looked me in the eyes and I signaled him with a nod that I was ok. He pressed his lips against mine again with a little more force than before. He licked my bottom lip asking for entrance, which I hesitantly granted him. He tasted so sweet. We battled a little for dominance before I got tired and gave up. He continued to roll his tongue around mine as I felt his hand move down to my shoulders. He pulled his tongue out of my mouth and moved his lips to my neck as he wrapped his hands around my waist. I couldn't help my reaction throwing my head back and giving him more access to my neck. He moved further down my neck to my collar bone and began to inch his hands up to the sides of my breasts. I had to draw the line. I was not ready for this. I pulled away and moved back a little to look at him.

"Bella?" He asked me with sadness and confusion in his eyes

"I can't Embry. Not yet. Please don't be mad. It is just too much for me."

"I am not mad at you baby. I'm sorry if I pushed too far. That was an amazing first kiss and yes I want to make love to you. I won't deny that, but not until you are ready. I will wait for you."

"Thank you Em.

"Of course"

He pecked me on the lips and turned to walk out the door.

"Embry?"

"Yes baby?"

'When am I am going to see you again?"

"I can come over tomorrow after work and we can have dinner here. I will pick up a pizza."

"That sounds great, but I will cook. Just bring yourself."

"Ok. See you tomorrow night baby."

He winked at me and shut the door behind him. I went to bed and for the first time in almost two years I didn't have one nightmare.

EPOV

That kiss was great. I could see myself with Bella forever. I only had one fear. What if the military was wrong and Jake was alive somewhere but couldn't get home? What if Bella and I fell in love and he came back. I would lose her for sure.

I couldn't think like that and let me fears get the best of me. The military would never come and tell someone that their spouse was dead unless they were sure. Maybe it was just guilt. After all Jake was my best friend and I felt like I was moving in on his wife, who he knew I was in love with all this time. Jeez does that make me sound like a scumbag or what? Then I heard it and I thought I was going crazy. Take care of Bells for me man. Make sure she is happy.

"Ok Embry I think you are really tired" I told myself.

I tried not to think about it again and just decided to let things go the way they go. Bella and I are getting somewhere and I couldn't be happier.